Even within some stranger's figure passing on the street

Even above the leaves riding the wind with a lonely dance

Even within the air brushing past my cheeks on some evening

In everything I see, hear and feel

You are here

(Time Spent Walking Through Memories - Nell)

----

They didn't talk about it in the next morning. Or the next, or the one after that. It was easy enough to work stolen kisses into their routine of too much touching. Baekhyun would lean up expectantly on his tip toes when luck found them both in the kitchen with their oblivious friends only a few feet away in the living room, and Chanyeol was never one to deny him whatever he wanted, even if he was always scared they'd turn around and see.

He knew if they saw, they'd force him to talk about it. They'd say things like, hey, you like him. You really like him, so it's kind of unwise to go on kissing him like some kind of friend with affectionate benefits. You're gonna get your heart broken again.

He wasn't worried about that right now, though. It was Christmas and Baekhyun was keeping his distance, sitting on the couch in his childhood home and laughing joyously to Yoora’s stories of him when he was younger. They'd slept in until noon and lazed around, eating the milk and cookies that they'd put out for Santa since Baekhyun had never had the chance to do that before. Once they finally got moving they came to Chanyeol’s parents’ house. Baekhyun had been a nervous wreck at first, but he quickly settled into Yoora’s enthusiasm and the curiosity of his parents.

His parents adored Baekhyun, welcoming him like another son even though this was the first time they'd met him. He could tell they were concerned, though, could hear it in his mother’s voice when she asked him over dinner if he had a girlfriend yet. Yoora had helpfully diverted the conversation then, because she, unlike their parents, knew that Chanyeol was never going to have a girlfriend, and not just because he had a bit of extra baggage in the form of Baekhyun now.

He'd exchanged presents with his family already, and Baekhyun had cried a little when his mother gave them matching scarves. He'd put his on even though it was blue and his sweater was red, and Chanyeol had fallen just a little bit more in... very strong liking with him. He told him this morning that he'd gotten him something, but he’d give it to him later. He was surprised when Baekhyun informed him that he had a present for him as well.

Christmas was always fun, but this year seemed special when he was sandwiched between Yoora and Baekhyun on the couch as they watched A Charlie Brown Christmas. Baekhyun had been determinedly keeping his hands to himself, but he finally allowed himself to lay his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder then, nuzzling at his neck. He giggled at the ticklish feeling, wrapping an arm around Baekhyun to hold him closer. Yoora was looking at them like she knew something was up, but he decided to ignore it, hoping his sister would as well. She'd be the first to know as soon as he was actually certain of what was up with his relationship with Baekhyun.

It was an hour later when they left, both of them sort of reluctant. Baekhyun seemed genuinely upset until Yoora promised to visit them soon. He nearly squealed when Chanyeol’s mom kissed his cheek while bidding him goodbye, so in he end his spirits were pretty high as they left to head home.

“Thank you.” Baekhyun said after a while of silence, resting a hand on Chanyeol’s thigh instead of his arm so he wouldn't disrupt his driving. It was sort of distracting anyways.

“For what?” Chanyeol asked curiously, glancing over at him once they stopped at a red light.

“For taking me with you. I know your parents would rather you have a girlfriend than me being all -y.” Chanyeol laughed at the strange sound of Baekhyun saying that, jumping in surprise when he didn't notice the light had turned green and the car behind him decided to tell him about it with its noisy horn. “They were great, anyways, which was really nice of them. Also, your sister is amazing.” he sighed, all starry eyed while Chanyeol pretended to gag. “And so pretty.” he added just to spite him.

“Hey, you can't date my sister.”

“Are you jealous?” Baekhyun teased, and Chanyeol turned a little red in response. “Don't be. She's pretty because she looks like you.” he said sweetly, grinning when Chanyeol flushed all the way to the tips of his ears. He'd finally returned to his normal color by the time they got home, and Baekhyun practically dragged him inside. 

“Are you a little excited?” Chanyeol asked teasingly, grinning at Baekhyun when he paused his impatient button mashing in the elevator to swat at him.

“Shh. Yes, I am. This better be the best Christmas present I've ever gotten.” Baekhyun said, trying to disguise his smile by sounding angry.

“Geez, now I'm nervous.” It took a moment for him to get the door unlocked, especially with Baekhyun tapping his foot and rolling his eyes at him. He could've just given him the present this morning, but in truth he hadn't really wanted to hear his parent’s judgement about his slightly expensive choice of gift. 

He went to their bedroom to retrieve the small box containing Baekhyun’s present, wrapped meticulously in paper covered in Pororo and snowflakes. Jongin had called him an idiot for buying the whole roll of childish wrapping paper just for this, but he'd done it anyways. He was sort of confused when he returned to find Baekhyun rummaging through the closet in the hallway that didn't contain anything much besides dust and extra toilet paper.

“Baek?” he questioned, causing the boy in question to jump and bump his head on a shelf.

“Oww, dammit.” Chanyeol cringed in surprise as he did on every rare occasion when Baekhyun decided to curse.

Baekhyun emerged after a moment with Chanyeol’s present behind his back. He wasn't doing a great job of it, though, and hadn't done so great at the wrapping process either, because Chanyeol could see exactly what it was.

“Baekhyun.” he murmured, eyes going all wide and confused. Baekhyun shushed him, huffing in irritation and shuffling backwards to the living room, still trying to hide the present for some reason.

“Shh. Shut up. At least pretend you can't tell what it is. You'd better act surprised when you open it.” he demanded, sitting down on the couch and shoving the big oddly shaped mass of wrapping paper at Chanyeol.

Chanyeol peeled back seemingly endless layers of tape and cherry red wrapping paper for five minutes or so before the gift itself emerged. It was an acoustic guitar, as he'd already discovered upon first glance at the package.

“Jongin told me you used to play in college, and you got rid of your guitar because you ‘lost your muse’ or something. You are dramatic, you know?” Baekhyun complained, though he was watching very fondly as Chanyeol peeled the last bits of tape off and situated the guitar in his lap like a precious baby. “I hope you've managed to find it again since then because I want to hear you. Also because I'm gonna be doing chores for Kyungsoo for the next six months to pay for that thing.”

Chanyeol grinned at him and sort of looked stupid, but Baekhyun leaned closer to plant a kiss on his cheek anyways. “Man, I like you, you big idiot.” he whispered, and Chanyeol nodded as if to say he already knew that. Baekhyun swatted his hands away when he reached for the strings of the guitar. “You can do that later, I want my present.”

“Okay, okay. Um. It seems kind of superficial now compared to this.” Chanyeol murmured self-consciously, flipping the little box over and over again in his hands.

“Well, I'm not a big sap with an emotional music history, so I didn't expect anything that was gonna make me cry.”

“I'm not crying!” Chanyeol argued, though he rubbed at his eyes to make sure. Baekhyun shook his head, laughing at him and reaching for his present.

“I like the wrapping paper.” he said, beaming at Chanyeol and proceeding to cautiously peel back the little Pororos, trying to tear them as little as possible.

“I have a whole roll of that, you don't have to be so care-”

“No.” Baekhyun mumbled, looking up at him in wide eyed disbelief.

“Um, yeah? I wasn't exactly gonna wrap the stuff I got my parents in Pororo wrapping paper, so the rest of it’s all yours.”

“You got me a phone?” Baekhyun asked, making Chanyeol feel kind of stupid because that's what he was so surprised about a moment ago, not the roll of wrapping paper in the back of his closet. He felt a little scared, too, because Baekhyun seemed almost angry.

“Yeah.” Chanyeol mumbled nervously, watching as Baekhyun opened the box with the utmost caution, seemingly holding his breath.

He looked down at the phone, eyes going even wider, before leaning over to place to box gently on the coffee table. As soon as it was safe he immediately punched Chanyeol in the shoulder.

“Why would you do that? You can't spend that much money on me, you idiot. I don't have to have a phone, I'm only ever at home or with you.”

“I can spend my money on whatever I want.” he argued, rubbing his throbbing shoulder. He wasn't expecting this response. “It's partially a gift for myself, anyways. I can't talk to you on the home phone all day when I'm at work, but I can text you.” he mumbled, coming as close to admitting how much he missed Baekhyun during the day as he was willing to get.

Baekhyun’s expression softened a little at that, his hand coming to join Chanyeol’s at rubbing his shoulder as he scooted closer to him. “Still, you didn't have to get me an iPhone. The cheap ones text just as well.”

“But you like playing the games on mine.” Chanyeol said quietly, turning a bit red. He would do a lot of things for Baekhyun. He'd spend a lot of money to bring him some extra happiness. It was a little embarrassing to have to directly cite his own examples, though. “A-And when you're home alone all day-”

“I won't be very alone if I can text you whenever I like.” Baekhyun murmured, smiling just a bit shyly before leaning closer to kiss him. The past few days had been full of quick pecks, but this was another like the Christmas party, warm and soft. Unhurried, this time, too. Chanyeol hummed appreciatively, reaching for Baekhyun to pull him closer by his shoulders.

“Thank you.” Baekhyun murmured once their lips parted, looping his arms around his neck and wedging a knee between his legs so that he could stay there for a moment, half in his lap.

“No problem. I have more of those where that came from, if you're interested.” Chanyeol joked, laughing and leaning his forehead against Baekhyun’s cheek.

“I was talking about the phone.” Baekhyun huffed, elbowing him, though he couldn't help but grin. “I'm sorry I hit you. I was just surprised. You should expect that, though, if you're gonna be so…”

He didn't seem like he was gonna finish, so Chanyeol pulled away to raise an expectant eyebrow at him. “So…?”

“Shh.” Baekhyun kissed him again. It was kind of becoming a pattern, and maybe he was a little worried by how his heart seemed to skip a beat in his chest, but he wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Or the lips, specifically.

He complained a little when Baekhyun shifted off of his lap, but he was insistent upon hearing Chanyeol play the guitar. He was a little nervous under the intense scrutiny, but it relented a bit when Baekhyun decided to turn his phone on while he tuned the instrument.

It took them both a few minutes, and by the time Chanyeol was ready to play Baekhyun had snatched his phone to steal a few contacts. He was currently texting Kyungsoo and Jongin, presumably interrupting them exchanging gifts and crying or whatever gross couples like them did on Christmas.

Chanyeol started to strum idly at the guitar without warning, making Baekhyun snap his head up and give him his utmost attention. “You know it'll take me a while to remember how to play an actual song.”

“Yeah. That's fine. I like this.” Baekhyun said quietly, watching his hands and practically buzzing with contentment. Chanyeol thought he was kind of easily impressed, but he wasn't going to complain. He'd learn one of the many songs he'd discovered that Baekhyun liked, and then he could have the tingly pleasure of making him happy.

He continued for a few minutes, rediscovering the sound of the guitar and the comfort under his fingers. Baekhyun leaned against his shoulder and ignored the occasional buzz of his phone from the other end of the couch. Eventually Chanyeol sat the guitar down and nudged Baekhyun away for a moment, shifting to sit longways on the couch so Baekhyun could settle between his legs and lean back against his chest. The desire to play guitar was strong, but not as strong as the need to thank him properly.

“Thank you, Baek.” he said quietly, wrapping his arms around him and nuzzling his hair. Baekhyun giggled happily, wiggling his legs around.

“You're welcome.” Baekhyun murmured, intertwining his fingers with Chanyeol’s and lifting his hand to his lips to plant kisses on his knuckles. Chanyeol sighed heavily at the intimate sort of affection, kissing the top of his head right by one of his fuzzy ears, which promptly twitched and whacked him in the nose.

Eventually Baekhyun let go of his hands to begin the important job of downloading all of his favorite games onto his phone. Chanyeol was going to untangle their arms so that he wouldn't be in his way, but Baekhyun whined in complaint until he hugged him tightly again.

“Kyungsoo is complaining that I've replaced him as your favorite.” Baekhyun said after a moment of comfortable silence, grinning.

“Is he?” Chanyeol asked, pondering that a little. It hadn't really occurred to him. He thought of Baekhyun as being in a slightly different category than his other friends, rather than thinking of him as his favorite.

“Yep.” Baekhyun said, grinning rather smugly. Chanyeol thought it was cute. Chanyeol thought he was cute.

“I guess he’ll have to get over it.” he said, bringing forth a burst of laughter from Baekhyun, who promptly texted Kyungsoo to inform him that Chanyeol had said that. 

Chanyeol pondered their relationship for a while, as he often did. He'd known Baekhyun for a month. That didn't seem like very long, especially next to his many years of friendship with Jongin and Kyungsoo, but it had been a very eventful month. Baekhyun had been practically glued to his side for the entirety of it, giving him hugs and kisses as if they were his source of life. Chanyeol would be lying if he said he didn't really, really like the affection.

“Channie?” Baekhyun interrupted his thoughts, shifting so that he could rest his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder to look up at him. He was chewing furiously on his lower lip, a clear indicator that he was worrying about something. “Did you have a good Christmas?”

Chanyeol was about to remind him that he'd been with him all day, so he should know about the quality of his day, but he recalled mentioning something about how even holidays seemed a little monotonous lately. Of course Baekhyun would be fretting over whether he'd had a nice time because of an offhand comment a few days ago.

“Yeah. Really good.” Chanyeol said, nodding and rubbing his back for a moment before following his spine up to the nape of his neck. “Did you?”

“Mhmm.” Baekhyun nodded, eyes fluttering closed as Chanyeol threaded his fingers through his hair. “The best one of my life, though maybe that doesn't say much.” he added more quietly, turning a little bit red.

“You deserve more.” Chanyeol murmured, smiling when Baekhyun leaned closer to nuzzle his head under his chin. “It's probably selfish of me, but I'm glad that things worked out this way. I'll make up up for all of the bad holidays.”

“I don't mind if you're selfish about me.” Baekhyun mumbled, closing his eyes. “All those years were worth it.”

It took Chanyeol a moment to calm his fluttering heart, but Baekhyun didn't often mention how long he'd been in the shelter, and he had to take advantage of the opportunity. “You know, I still don't understand why you were there for so long. Was there a reason? I mean, you don't have to tell me, but-”

“No, I should. I want to.” Baekhyun said decisively, returning to his previous position leaning back against his chest and smiling when Chanyeol enveloped him in a hug. “Well, you're probably aware of how hybrids were created, initially. My parents are both humans, but they essentially gave me away when they agreed to the genetic modification while my mother was pregnant. A lot of people did it as a way to deal with an unwanted pregnancy and make a little money, while they were at it. I don't know if that's why they did… but it doesn't really matter. Anyways, the scientists figured the condition of the babies that were modified this way would be sort of delicate, so the pregnant women were supposed to adhere to strict dietary standards, take vitamins, and avoid alcohol and smoking. They figure the lady that had me didn't do any of that.” Baekhyun said with an irritated snort. Chanyeol knew exactly what the process of ‘inventing’ hybrids had been, and he knew that the ethics of it were questionable, but hearing it specifically in the context of Baekhyun made him horribly uncomfortable.

“I was really sick when I was young. The scientists probably would've just let me die, but I guess they wanted a return on their investment. I got sick over and over again until I was five, and then it got less and less frequent as my immune system got better. But they weren't willing to let anyone adopt me until I was ten, and well, I was sort of an angry brat at that age, and everyone wanted to raise their pets themselves anyhow. You can't teach an old dog new tricks, and being part of the first group of hybrids created, I must've seemed ancient.” he sighed, playing idly with Chanyeol’s fingers as he spoke. He was rather calm about the entire thing, like maybe he'd narrated this story to himself a thousand times and accepted it for what it was, but suddenly he held onto his hands a little tighter, his eyebrows furrowing. “So I was stuck in a shelter for 23 ing years, with a bunch of little kids that had been snatched from their cribs and made into second class citizens just like I was, and Junmyeon wouldn't even let me leave when it seemed like I'd be there forever because he knew it was impossible for me to get a job and I'd just starve to death on the streets. Just because I had a tail and ears and a slightly modified personality forced onto me, suddenly I'm not even a human and I'll never be able to be anything besides someone’s pet.” He realized he was starting to sound a bit hysterical, so he stopped, jaw clenched with the effort of not crying or screaming now that he'd gotten started.

“I'm sorry.” Chanyeol said helplessly, wiggling his fingers out of the death grip that Baekhyun had on them to hold him tighter. There was nothing he could've done about any of that, not when he wasn't even born yet when Baekhyun was subjected to the injustice of his creation. Still, he felt like he was part of the problem, just as at fault as anyone else was, because he was technically Baekhyun’s owner when he knew morally that he should have no such thing. “I'm so sorry. I didn't know- I didn't even think. About any of that.” He wished he would've waited to ask him another day, instead of tarnishing the high spirited mood that they'd both been in.

“It's okay. I shouldn't have said that last part, because you’re not the problem at all. I didn't mean that you were.” Baekhyun said quietly, clambering off of him a little clumsily, because he was shaking slightly. He sat in his lap facing him this time, arms and legs wrapped around him. He was seeking comfort rather than just being clingy, but Chanyeol seemed reluctant to hold him closer as he usually would. “I had to have an owner, that's just how it is. If I didn't I'd still be there. And I couldn't have asked for better than you. Y-You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, you make me feel like it's worth it to be what I am, so don't feel bad, please.” he pleaded, his voice breaking as the inevitable tears filled his eyes.

“Don't cry. I don't want you to be sad, not today.” Chanyeol murmured, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun’s temple and hugging him like he could squish the unhappy memories out of him. He didn't know what to say about what Baekhyun had said, and he didn't have time to think about it when he needed to be making him feel better. 

“I'm not sad. I was so sad then, for so long, but I'm so happy now. Happy enough to cry, because I know I have you to wipe my tears and take care of me and cheer me up with cookies and hugs and a phone, for goodness sake, you crazy .” Baekhyun babbled, clinging to the front of his shirt like a lifeline as he pulled away to look at him, sniffling away the rest of the tears that hadn't already rolled down his damp cheeks.

“Well, I already hugged you and gave you your extravagant gift, and here you are still crying.” Chanyeol said, smiling fondly and drying Baekhyun’s cheeks with his sleeves. “Should we go make some cookies?”

Baekhyun laughed at that, holding one of Chanyeol’s hands against his cheek. “Yeah. Yeah, we should.” he giggled, feeling lighter for having shared those bad memories with him, even if they did bring back feelings of sadness. He didn't have to be sad anymore.

Chanyeol, on the other hand, was dealing with the fresh shock and anger (and guilt, no matter what Baekhyun said) at what he'd heard. However, he had a plan to make it better. 

But first he owed Baekhyun some cookies.

----

(A/N: What an emotional roller coaster. This was sort of weird to write, considering it's very hot outside and definitely not Christmas. Chanyeol's darn November birthday forcing to me to get in the Christmas spirit in the middle of August >.< As always, I'm thankful to whoever is reading this. By the way, I don't reply to comments but I really, really appreciate them! I wish I could reply to all of them but I'm kind of socially awkward so... just know that you're making me super happy even if I don't say anything!)