ii. Hiraeth

Hiraeth (v.)

The feeling of longing for a home to which you can never return

“…garner more hate for the Khronos…”

“…always targeted for bullying or other crimes by the Monospatials…”

“…happens on someone’s eighteenth birthday and there is no way to control that from happening the first time…”

“…humans will always have prejudice against each other…” 

“…it is us humans that are the most dangerous creatures…”

…Humming. 

That is the first thing that Sehun barely hears as he slowly opens his eyes. The sound is beginning to pull him back from the foggy pit of consciousness and the surreal sensation is coming back to his aching head. It took Sehun a second to realise that he isn’t sleeping in his own bedroom either, but instead lying across the canvas of someone else’s bed. 

Sehun does not even remember being knocked out. The last piece of memory on his mind before everything went black is having the most intense car chase with Tao. It is also like his senses are coming back, one at a time in a painfully slow pace. The pain all over his body certainly doesn’t help at all either. His brain is seemingly rebooting from being haywired and the humming he heard earlier is starting to register as a deep somber tone. Sehun squeezes his eyes as he attempts to wake up but all he can do is moan pathetically at the searing headache. 

“Oh, I see you’re finally awake, noodle boy. Well, I’m calling you noodle boy because quite frankly I have no idea who you are but you sure look real pale and really lanky. Exactly like a noodle! What a coincidence…” The humming stops and the deep somber voice starts talking. The guy talks nonstop and in such an excruciatingly loud tone that Sehun can’t really register what the person is saying. 

“Ughhh… um… Where am I…? And who are you?” Sehun’s voice is hoarse as hell from being knocked out for a long period of time. He opens his eyes for real this time and the first thing that comes into his line of eyesight is a pair of chopstick-like legs. 

“Well, I thought it’d be obvious but I guess you really were out cold… You’re in my house, in my bedroom! And this obviously handsome young man who took care of you is Park Chanyeol. Nice to meet you noodle boy.” Funny how a pair of chopsticks can point at himself and talk. 

“C-Can you… um… just stop calling me noodle boy…?” The nickname is starting to get on Sehun’s nerves. Firstly, he is certainly no noodle and secondly, he is a man. A MAN he repeats in his mind. An eighteen-year-old man at that too, even if it’s only been one day. He would unwittingly agree that he is paler than the usual guy though. 

“Well, sure I would. Except that I have no idea what your name is!” Chanyeol’s voice is getting too loud for Sehun’s taste. He flinches at the hyperactive tone, and the painfully twisted expression catches Chanyeol’s attention. “Ohh, you still in pain? Do you need some panadol tablets? They’ll make you feel better.”

“Umm, no it’s fine, thank you. And my name is Oh Sehun but Sehun is just fine.” Sehun tries to smile a bit but he is somehow pretty sure his face has contorted in some weird way. “By the way, do you know what happened? How did I end up here?”

And from Chanyeol, Sehun finds out that the guy actually had no idea what happened to him. But what went on in his version of the story is that when he was walking back home from college, he found Sehun knocked out cold in an alleyway. “…And you had all these scratches on just one side of your face so I guess you got them from falling hard onto the ground.”

“Wow, that seemed pretty intense…” Sehun laughs awkwardly, and maybe a little from the fact that Chanyeol really has no idea when to stop talking. In some ways though, he thought it is endearing and it really felt like he knew this guy since forever. And from some reason, it feels weirdly comfortable. “So how long was I out for?”

“About two and a half days, which explains that weird throat thing you were doing. You know that scratchy voice that sounded like that terminator guy Arnold Schwarzenegger? Exactly that!” Sehun has no idea if Chanyeol was trying to crack a joke or not, but it certainly didn’t make him laugh. Instead, it reminds him of one of those cheesy uncles who are always trying to say some stupidly awkward puns that just the life force out of anyone who hears them. 

“Terminator? You mean the first movie? Gosh, that movie is sooo old…” Sehun remembers the movie because his dad watches that almost every weekend with his mum. According to his parents, that was the movie they saw on their first date. Talk about romantic! But in Sehun’s mind, the classic has got to be well over thirty years old. 

“What do you mean the first movie? Well, I mean yeah they’re planning on doing another one but that’s the only movie they have come out with so far!” Chanyeol laughs, his tone of voice contains a bit of genuine confusion. “But to be honest, Terminator isn’t really that old. As far as I’m concerned, I think the movie only came out about two years ago.”

“Wait what?!” Sehun’s voice rings so loudly in the room that Chanyeol actually jumped in his seat on the bed. It caused a shooting pain in his head but he could care less about that right now. “What are you talking about? Terminator came out in 1984 though!”

“Yeah, exactly! It came out in 1984, which is two years ago.” Chanyeol is looking even more confused and that look really doesn’t look good on the cheerful guy. “Wow, that knock on your head probably went a little too hard… You’re messing up all your dates. Oh boy, I know I should have taken you to the hospital in the first place. Maybe we should go now!”

“Whoa whoa whoa, hold on.” Sehun rubs on the sides of his head with his thumb and forefinger. Is this a dream? Why is Chanyeol acting so strange, as if I am the one that isn’t making any sense right now? Everything is getting so overwhelming for Sehun that the ache all over his body is getting stronger and more torturous than ever. “What is today’s date?”

“April 15th, 1986.”

The shock going through Sehun’s veins is something that is so terrifying that it cannot even be logically explained. Panic and fear starts to engulf his being and his entire body is paralysed from Chanyeol’s answer. Right now, Sehun wants to scream his head off but all he can feel right now is a chill going down his spin. The warm pool in his stomach is making him crazy and there are too many questions in his head. 

What does this mean? What is going on? Have I time travelled back to thirty years ago? But I wasn’t even born yet! W-Wait… Am I a Khrono?

“A-April 15th, 1986…” Sehun dumbly repeats Chanyeol’s words and tries to calm his nerves down. All of a sudden, he notices Chanyeol’s fashion. The huge denim jacket, the tucked in white t-shirt and the oversize blue jeans. The guys is dressing like one of those dudes from The Outsiders and man was that movie old as hell. His outfit literally screams eighties fashion. “Oh my god, oh my freaking god… This can’t be good…”

Why this can’t be good? Because this is honestly not a good time to be time travelling to. From what Sehun has learnt from his Khrono classes, he distinctively remembers Mr. Lee telling the class that the prosecution of Khronos were at a new height in the 1980s and the Khrono hunt of Act 12 was at its during that time period. So, if he really is a Khrono, it is only a matter of time before he’s discovered by the government and he can be sentenced to prison for life or worse, executed. And who knows if Chanyeol is for or against the discrimination of Khronos. What if Chanyeol hates their existence? What should Sehun do about this situation?

“What can’t be good? Oh wait, you probably mean your family must have been worrying or you’ve been skipping school the past few days…” Chanyeol rambles on, not giving the slightest doubt of Sehun’s newfound silence. “You know what? We’ll get every bit of worriness cleared off your mind. We’ll go to my university and have dinner with my roommate after he finishes his swim practice. After dinner, we can go find your family.” 

“Umm uhhh well…” Sehun stops his inner monologue and stutters as he tries to remain unsuspicious. He rummages his brain for some good explanations or excuses about the mystery surrounding his background story, including the fact that no one has reported him missing or him not having to go to school. He has to come up with something good real fast. “I-I actually just graduated from highschool in a town outside of Seoul a-and um I came to the city on my own to find a part time job and apply for a university. But somehow I lost my luggage and rent money… So um… Eh… Yeah… D-Does that make sense to you Chanyeol?” Sehun just smacked himself mentally for sounding so goddamn awkward. 

“Well, you just graduated so naturally you’d come to the big city to further your education in an university… Finding a job can help you pay the tuition fees. And you probably got mugged which is why you were knocked out in the alleyway. Yeah, of course it makes sense! I don't see why not.” Chanyeol beamed and Sehun is thankful that the jolly guy doesn’t suspect a thing. “So, since you don’t have anyone in the neighbourhood and you’re feeling better now, how about some dinner? And don’t worry, I’ll talk to my roommate about you staying with us for the time being.”

Sehun thinks carefully for a second. Since it would be a good idea to have someone by his side during this difficult time, it wouldn’t be too bad to befriend Chanyeol. And some food sounds really good to him right now. He hasn’t eaten in two days so his appetite has never been bigger. “Sure… That’d be nice. Thanks, Chanyeol.” 

“On your mark, get set, go!”

The noise of the starting horn breaks through Sehun’s ear drums. Two swimmers jump into the water without hesitation and with much familiarity, leading to him squeezing his eyes shut with the slight splash of water. Sehun thinks that he can never jump into the water of oblivion just like that. It is so unpredictable, but even more so when the irony of the concept of predictability is poking hard at Sehun. He had never thought he would be that one in ten chance of becoming a Khrono. 

But the motion of someone swimming, for some crazy reason, calms Sehun’s nerves. There is such a strange familiarity to it. It’s like swimming has been a part of his life the whole time even though he had never been interested in the sport at all. Looking at the small ripples spread across the water, he can see a tan swimmer lunging forward without resistance. Sehun wonders about the sensation of being totally immersed in the current, to be able to fully dedicate himself to something so clear and pure like what the tan swimmer is doing right now. However, when things are getting as complicated as it is, how can Sehun get his mind focus on the game of life and death. Okay, he is exaggerating a little bit of about the life and death part. In actuality, he’s pretty sure as long as he can keep his sassy mouth zipped, then nothing relatively too bad would really happen. All he’s gotta do is come up with a plan to get back to 2016. 

“Hey,” Chanyeol lightly pokes Sehun’s shoulder, “Are you okay, Sehun? You’ve been spacing out throughout our entire conversation. Maybe I talk too much… Do you think so? Nah, that can’t be true. I mean, we are quite hip as a duo. You know what I mean? I like talking to you so muc—”

“So, Chanyeol,” Sehun cuts him off when Chanyeol begins to ramble on again. That kid really doesn't know when to slow down on the talking and Sehun would complain if he could but Chanyeol doesn’t even seem like he needs to have a breather between words. “Which one’s your roommate?”

“Oh, I’ve been wondering when you would ask me. So, he’s the taller one over there with the tanned skin,” Chanyeol points to the swimmer that Sehun was observing earlier on. “And if you’ve noticed the good looks, which you probably can’t because his face is smashed into the water, no questions needed. The answer to that is he’s basically the heartthrob of the campus. His name is Kim Jongin. Nicknamed on legs even though I know for a fact that is not true. He has a really quiet demeanour and very smart but he’s pretty cool. And chill, you know? I like him a lot but more like as a bro.”

“Oh, I see,” Sehun nods along with Chanyeol’s words. He could tell the two are really close and friendly with each other since Chanyeol has a proud and warm tone when recounting their memories together. He also manages to add in a couple of sarcastic jabs at Jongin along the way and Sehun thinks that it’s lucky to be able to find someone you genuinely like.  Like him and Lay but now he doesn’t even know how to get back to his own time. To be honest, he’s really scared that he probably will never be able to go back home. 

While his thoughts are once again running widely in his mind, Sehun looks intently at the way Jongin is cutting his way through the water with much rigorous determination and force. He would say that this Jongin person looks more like one of those cocky jocks than a man of few words, judging by his fierceness. But who is he to say when he doesn’t even know him? 

After observing, more like staring at, Jongin for a while, and pretty much spacing out on the incredibly loud pair of chopsticks sitting next to him aka Park Chanyeol, Sehun notices another swimmer in the pool. Just like Jongin, this swimmer has as much grit and fierceness, but for some reason, the swimmer gives off a much wilder and unrestrained vibe. He’s also much smaller and shorter than Jongin. “How about the guy in the next lane? Another friend of yours?”

“Yes! The smaller one in the next lane is Byun Baekhyun, our good friend