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It was a cold April day. Mother nature had decided to paint the city with her waterfall. He stood there looking out the window watching the droplets down. his eyes close of their own accord as he tried to find the strength not to cry. But he couldn't ’t hold it in anymore, his tears start rolling down his cheeks one by one like the rain droplets on the window. loving someone made him feel like this, giving his heart to the person that tuned his world upside down.

He wiped his tears with the back of his hands pushing himself to be strong for once in his life. He shouldn't ’t cry, he should forget. But how? He does not want to think about him, he wants to forget but at the same time he doesn't ’t and with that his mind is playing games on him.

It’s right now he can’t sleep, its right now he can’t eat. Right now he still hears his voice and sense his presence even though he knew he’s not here. He knows all about time and wounds healing, but even if he had all the time in the world, he wouldn't be able to heal from this heartache.

The doors knobs moving bought him back to reality.

‘’here you are’ she smiled briefly like every single weekend. She closed the door behind her with one hand as she held the documents with the other.

She was a black-haired women and slender, wearing a huge dust filtering glasses that made her look old. She had a lean look as if she worked too long and ate too poorly. She wore a very elegant dress, her long hair piled up and back, but two shifts of labor had picked it apart and heavy strands had scattered, escaping the combs she’d used to hold it all aloft.

‘’here I am’’ he didn't want to sound sarcastic really, but when he spends the weekend with this women who is trying to force him to talk about his feelings, he certainly wants to do a whole lot more then be sarcastic.
She sensed his stubbornness and straightened herself while she sat down her wooden chair.

‘’I am hoping you will talk today Mr. oh’’ she implored and he kept silent not ready to pour out his feelings to a stranger.

‘’Mr. oh. Do you know the feeling that hurts the most? The emotions that sting the most? Its those that are absurd. Longing for impossible things. For what never was, the desire for what could have been , regret over not being someone else…’’ sehun scoffed as she went on and on about things that were not making sense to him or maybe he was trying not to understand them as his stubbornness kicked in for the second time since he walked in to this office.

‘’dissatisfaction with the world’s existence. All those half tones of the soul’s consciousness create in us a painful landscape, an eternal sunset of what we are.’’ She continued talking and sehun continued giving her the face to stop talking. Sehun was forced to come here by his doctor and by his very own best friend. What sehun went through can not be fixed by someone with a degree in psychology.

‘’I don’t’ think we are no the right track’’ he mumbled in a languid monotone, playing with his phone. If only he had the courage to call his mom right this instant. There is no one in the world that would help him get through this then his mom but he couldn't ’t even make one phone call for three years. He couldn't even grow balls to pick up the phone when she tired calling him countless times.

‘’Mr. oh please, concentrate. I am only trying to help you’’

‘’I do not seek your help.’’

‘’yes you do, that’s why you are here.’’

‘’I am here because I was forced to come here’’

‘’you are here because you needed help’’

‘’I am not crazy if that’s what your implying’’ he demanded as if he knew what she was thinking.

‘’I am not implying anything Mr. oh, all I want to do is help you and I can’t do that if you don’t open up to me’’

‘’FINE!’’ He boomed throwing his phone on the table in frustration. His memories are not books. They are only stories that he has been over so many times in his head that he doesn't know from one day to the next what’s remembered and what’s made up. Like when he memorize a poem, and for one small unimportant part he supply his own words. The meaning’s the same, the meter’s identical. When he reads the actual version he can never get into his head that it’s right and he is wrong.

‘’proceed Mr. oh’’ she gestured

‘’it all started a few months ago….’’

 

Flashback

Two weeks back

 

‘’sehun’’
He rolled over and covered his head with the pillow. He was too tired to open his eyes. He was tired for anything. How was he going to fully function when the sun was too lazy to even get up this early? It was insanity.

‘’sehun’’ her voice came again. He ignored the soft voice calling his name and rolled back. He was not gonna wake up, he is having a much better time asleep.

‘’sehun…wake up’’ He heard his name in a soft whisper for the third time. He groaned and his eyes slowly opened.

‘’you need to get up’’ she smiled gazing down at sehun with her warm eyes. Sehun nooded trying to smile back but failed miserably.

Does anybody wake up as he does? Having forgotten what it is that hurts or where, until you move?

‘’what kind of pleasure would you get out of waking me up this morning?’’

‘’The pleasure of your healthiness’’ she handed sehun a glass of water along with two tablets. he sat up and swallowed the tablets taking in the water. ‘’come down when you finish washing up, I made breakfast.’’ she added setting the pack of tablets on the counter before she left.

Sehun took a deep breath standing up feeling a little dizzy. He felt the coldness of the floor when his feet touched it. He stiffened a little and made his way to the bathroom to wash up. He can feel his head pounding like it’s about to explode in million pieces.
He took off his clothes and clamber into the shower, the water was warm and soothing. He wanted to stay here feeling the water running down his whole body.

After half and hour in the shower, he stepped out and grabbed a towel. He looked straight into the mirror looking at his reflection. He looked more presentable considering what he looked like a few weeks ago.

As he made his way to his room he took a long stare at the pack of tablets Avery left on the counter. As much he hated taking them, they make him feel good and since today is his first day at work, he wanted to feel not only good but great. He picked up the tablets and took two more

He walked in to the kitchen and found Avery humming to a song he didn't recognize.

‘’you seem to be in a good mood this morning’’

‘’I am always in a good mood’’

‘’okay, what’s going on?’’ sehun raised a brow not falling for ‘’ I am always in a good mood’’ bull.

‘’nothing.’’

‘’Avi…’’

‘’youhaveablinddate’’ she said it so fast sehun thought she said something really really stupid.

‘’excuse me?’’

‘’a blind date’’ she said again, so excited her voice was high-pitched trill.

‘’me? A blind date? No’’ yes she really did say something stupid.
‘’you. a blind date. Yes’’

‘’no blind date is like An old institution of mismating."

"Shut up please just say yes"

‘’Avi no I am not interested’’

‘’too late, I already set everything up’’

‘’without consulting me? What the hell…’’

‘’because I know you will say no and I need you to stop torturing yourself.’’ Avery said under her breath. Sehun felt like a surge of madness and relief. Mad because Avery thinks a guy can bring him out of his depression. Relief that she didn't ’t try to give him the speech about him getting laid.

‘’I am fine’’ sehun’s voice was sharp and it was trembling, he peeked at Avery from the corner of his eyes. Sehun was not fine and he knew that. But the answer for his problems is not a blind date or any kind of date.

‘’just please go out with him please?

‘’I don’t even know him’’

‘’that’s why its called a blind date’’ he said sarcastically. ‘’please’’ she begged once again.

Sehun was not about to go out on a blind date. He has never been on a blind date and he was not about to start now.

‘’Avi …. I …’’

‘’just this once and if you don’t like him, I won’t bother you about this ever again’’ Avery interrupted. Smug.

‘’okay fine’’

‘’yeessss’’ she went bizarrely cheerful as she hugged sehun so tight, he felt like he was being chocked.

‘okay. I can’t breath’’ sehun said freeing Avery’s hands around his neck.

‘’I promise you won’t regret this’’ Avery said with a smile, all his teeth sparkling in the bright light’’

‘’I hope so…’’

***********

Outside the sun shines brightly in the cloudless azure sky, birds chirp and flit through trees, and children laugh as they play in the park. To the people, it seems that not even the weather shares her misery. Life for everyone else is peachy, and sehun utterly alone, depressed. One day soon, he hopes to blend right in to the peachy life.

Sehun reached his shop he bought a few weeks ago. He took a deep breath before unlocking the door and taking in the newly furnished smell. He looked at the pianos and smiled. Its funny how a piano can tell him about life. Because whenever he sees a piano it makes him think how sad and happy life is. How is life is like a piano with no pedals being played by a person with no fingers.

Seems like the only thing that could just make him forget his pain is music, it means everything to him. It expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent. It’s his refuge. He could crawl into the space between the notes and curl his back to loneliness. Music can lift him out of depression or moves him to tears it is a remedy, a tonic, orange juice for his ears.

‘’play something’’ sehun heard a male voice from behind. His voice smooth with a rasp that made sehun’s stomach flutter.

‘’I’d rather not’’ sehun turned around to see who this cultured voice belonged to, and sehun’s eyes met his and sehun felt something click like a key turning into a lock. The guy had the most hypnotizing brown eyes sehun has ever seen. Sehun could get the gist of his features, but none of it stuck in his mind beyond an impression of astonishing beauty.

The man’s hair was brushed backward from the temples wearing a blue black v neckline shirt. Sehun was never the type to believe in love at first sight and he still doesn’t but there was something there. Something recognizably real and he couldn’t look away.

‘’maybe I should then’’ the man said with a smile as sehun stood there still staring at him, watching his every move.

‘’who are you?’’ sehun asked with a shaky inhalation placing his hand over his heart trying to calm his rapid pulse.

What was this man doing to sehun…..

‘’call me kai. I mean it call me’’ he winked as his eyes lit up as the corners oh his mouth tuned.

‘’is there… something I can help you with?’’ sehun inquired blinking out of his semi-dazed. He took in kai’s scent as kai walked by sehun to the piano. He smelled amazing, sehun didn’t know if its kai’s shampoo or his body wash but it was mouthwatering.

‘’I am just looking around…’’

‘’oh…’’ sehun sat down at the chair feeling his legs getting a little shaky.

‘’so aren’t you gonna play something?’’ he blurted out gazing down at sehun and his face heated from the sudden eye contact.

‘’I am not in the mood to play’’ what if kai was some kind of Beethoven and sehun embarrasses himself? Sehun has been playing the piano since as long as he can remember, but what if he was no good comparing to kai?

‘’you don’t have to be in the mood to play’’ kai smiled grimly. ‘’ okay I will play you something’’ he added sitting down on the chair that was in front of the piano. Kai started playing a few keys and went delirious for a moment and sehun covered his ears from the horrible tone that was coming out of the piano.

‘’make It stop’’

‘’I am amazing huh?’’

‘’very..’’ sehun commented detecting a little bit of sarcasm. Kai smiles and studies sehun’s face for a moment which made sehun shift uncomfortably.

"Is there something on my face? " sehun inquired touching his face.

"Oh no i was just looking at you"

"Why? "

"No reason" he smiled running his hands through his hair. He then looked at his watch on his hands and jolted up. ‘’oh , I gotta go’’ and walked to the door. ‘’ see you around’’ kai glimmered before descending outside.

‘’you too’’ sehun mumbled to himself.

*********
The drive to sehun’s house is short thanks to the lack of traffic at this time of a day. It’s cold being home so early. He has a date in an hour and and he is not slightly scared or excited about it.
After changing into a comfortable cloth, sehun went to the living room to watch movies, shows or anything that could kill some time so he spent the evening planted on the couch in the company of Avery.

‘’how was your day?’’ she asked snatching the remote irritated when sehun changed the channels several times.

‘’fine, i guess’’ he answered not seeing any reason to tell Avery about the guy he met earlier, he will probably will never see him again anyways.

Avery nodded finally settling for a movie but ending up muting it to to ask sehun something.

"So we have like an hour for your date so what do you say we give you a make over? " she titles her head up and taps her fingers on her chin as if she is debating something.

"No thank you, i like myself just the way i am"

"Ahhh come on" She raises her eyebrows and grins.

"Avi i already agreed on going on a date so don't make me change my mind"

"Fine, just get up now and get ready"

"It's too early"

"I know just get up"

"So you really decided to give me away to some random guy? You are cruel"

"It's because I love you. Now get up and let's get dressed"

"Us?"

"You're not the only one who has a date tonight" she winked jumping up off the couch with a gleam in her brown eyes.

"That's very surprising" He said sarcastically. She is always on a date.

"Get up! Move it man" she grabs his hand, pulls him up and pushes him toward his room.

"Take a shower, you seriously stink" she giggles and runs off.

"I do not smell" He says to her back and headed to his room to start getting ready.

Half an hour later, Avery Busts through sehun's door looking y as always. She is wearing a black tight and short dress she bought last week. Her hair long hair pin straight and her black eyeliner makes her eyes big and beautiful.

"Hello , where have you been hiding all this time?" She nudges sehun as she appraises his outfit. He was just wearing a normal sky blue t shirt and black jeans but Avery being herself,exaggerates.

"Shut up"

" You look great. " she claps her hand in excitement urging me to get out of my room. I grabbed my phone and rush out of my room. Avery gave him a Kiss on the cheek and He went out of the house grabbing his keys on the way.

Yesterday is gone.

Tomorrow has not yet come.

We have only today.

He shall begin.

 

 

A/N

*hides in the corner*
Please don't kill me for this piece work.
It sounded so much better in my head and now its lame af when i wrote it.
Am sorry *hides face*