Want A Sip?

I am tired of life. I am tired of even breathing. One day I just found myself being tired of the same routines, the same air, the same sound, and the same people, the same me. I bet everyone never get tired of themselves, they never feel ashamed of even living. And I am absolutely not one of those people. Here me, by myself, just hanging out staring at the dark sky as I step closer to the edge. Should I jump? Should I just bargain with life? How funny, if that even possible.

“This is it.”

“You know, if you wanna jump, just jump.”

That startled me. Turned to my left and I found a man with a cigarette pinched between his lips looking at me with a smirk. “I wouldn’t stop you.” He continued.

I cannot avoid and find it a bit interesting. “I know. You can just don’t speak to me at all. I am not asking for attention.”

He chuckled. “That’s interesting.”

“What is?”

“I'm not asking for attention of yours. You kinda failed at that.” He turned a bit, resting himself against the edge. Cigarette smoke, sipped into my nostril and I guess he noticed. “Want a sip?” he offered.

His offering hand reached mine and I the sinned smoke, feeling hot seeping through my throat. “Freaking rich bastard.” I find myself chuckled.

“Who?” he raised an eyebrow.

I took the last sip of the cigarette and threw it down. “You are. It’s my pleasure though, able to taste a freaking expensive smoke before I die.”

The man looked at me. And me, well, it is not too bad to die after seeing that good looking face. Gosh, ‘a is always the ’ quote seems totally right at this moment. Giving him a smile, a thankful one for the smoke, I stepped into the air, my eyes closed.

I can feel it, the air surrounding me, just coldly touching my exposed self. Well, this is beautiful. Everything seems slow, seems nice and seems abruptly stopped.

Huh?

“You know, I never say I wouldn’t save you.” The man, over me with his hand gripped around mine tightly. Hanging over the edge with him smiling, it’s irritating. It irritated me to death, and made my head spins with annoyance. And I guess it gets to me. Pulled up, I fell into a deep sleep.

...............................................................

“, Kyuhyun! What the hell?” a loud curse.

“Who the hell did you knocked out this time?!” another voice. A bit soft. “Poor kid.”

“He was over the edge at rooftop. One of the residents here maybe.” I guess, that’s Kyuhyun’s voice.

“Oh, he fell off the edge?” the soft voice again, felt a bit close to me. Maybe they are his fingers, caressing my face and forehead at this moment.

“I'm killing myself.” Decided, I should tell them my situation myself. I opened my eyes, looking directly at a concerned face, with brown locks and deep eyes. Well, this is the second times today, hotties invaded my eyes.

He seemed shock, retracting his fingers as I get up and acknowledging that my feels good on this sofa. Directly, the man on the rooftop with his hands supporting his cheeks looking at me over the table just in the middle of the living room I believe; still smiling. “Urggghhh.” And I guess, that is my irritation building up.

“Well, killing yourself...” a sentence darted from behind of the brown locks man and I found a serious looking man, looking at me with his black big orbs by the one seated sofa. Well, that the third one. My lucky day, yay.

“Thanks and all, but yeah. I don’t know you guys to talk about it.”

“Well, we shared the pipe. That was bonding and .”

“Not for me.” I tried to get up but stopped by a pair of hand over my shoulders.

“You are staying. Until you feel better.” That soft voice now sounded a bit stern. “Yes, we don’t know you and all, but now that you are literally sitting in our house, we know you now. I'm Leeteuk. So, now you know me.” He said, short but yeah, compact.

I looked at the still smiling guy, and he just shrugged. “He is the house owner. Can’t go against the landlord. I am Kyuhyun by the way.” Kyuhyun...suit him.

“I'm Heechul. I wouldn’t ask nor judge but I can’t go against the pack leader.” The black eyed man now has spoken. Looking at him, gosh, he is hot.

“I can’t-”

“No no no. I'm not believing you to leave you alone.” Leeteuk said. He got up, dragging me up.

“I really can’t-”

“Do you have to be anywhere?”

I was abruptly silenced by that.

Oh yeah, I don’t have anywhere to go. I've got nowhere to go. I have no one. I have nothing. I'm freaking alone and . I was thrown away and unwanted. I’ve got nothing. No one, nowhere...nothing.

Hitching, my breathe is messed up. This is messed up. I am messed up. Its suffocating, my throat, my chest, my eyes, everything feels hot. It’s suffocating. My vision blurred, I ears caught some soothing words, but thus they make any different? I am losing to myself...No no no no, I can’t lose control. I need to be in control.

! I lose it!

“Hey, it’s okay...you are going to be okay...you will taste another expensive cigar...?......”

Haha, what a nice line.

Damn it. I need this. The darkness. And that soothing voice.

..........................................

“We have to get him to the hospital!” Leeteuk anxious voice with Heechul getting the car keys, chaotic living room has started. Suddenly, the kid, whose name I don’t know started to hitch in his breathe, started to have what I believe a panic attack.

I quickly reach to his limp self; his eyes turning over, as he loses it. It’s terrifying. Worrisome and sad, and just believe me how I can’t even stop myself from trembling with him. And all I can do is giving him unpromising words, “Hey, it’s okay...you are going to be okay...you will taste another expensive cigar...?” I can’t believe I just said that. “...”

“He is gonna be okay. His breathing is stable. He is dehydrated and we’ve work on that.  It is just that I have things to talk to you three in my room, maybe?” The doctor asked, jotting down a bit note on the patient chart.

“Among you three, who is the guardian of Kim Ryeowook?” a nurse suddenly appeared, looking at us three. On the way to hospital, from the kid’s wallet, his name appeared to be Kim Ryeowook. And I should stop the kid thingy since he is freaking the same age as me.

“We are not. We are just helping him as friend. We’ve tried to call through his phone but nothing. ” Leeteuk said.

“But we need the guardian to fill up the admission form.” The nurse looked at us, a bit puzzled.

“Can't I just fill it first? He is my friend.” Leeteuk asked.

The nurse nodded. “Okay, follow me.”

“Doctor, we will be in your room once I’ve finished the admission.”

The doctor nodded with a small smile. He whispered to the nurse and walked away with us saying thank you. I paid no attention to Leeteuk’s word and Heechul that followed him like a kitten as I took a seat next to the unconscious guy. Kim Ryeowook.

“You look ridiculous.” No he isn’t. I'm just being dishonest. “But, why though?”

Yeah, why did he want to jump? Getting his head all busted open in a few minutes. Is it because of his world? Is it so different from mine? But, honestly, he does look hot over the edge. For a person like him, why not just he lives for himself? At least...

“Hey, I'm still trembling.” Noticed it, when my hand touched his stilled hand. “You gave me a good fright there. Weird, since on the rooftop, I'm quite confident I could save you.”

Reaching my pocket, I get his phone out. It’s empty. No one to call to, no parents’ number, friends and even stupid company or even fast e service. What a lonely phone. And I guess, a lonely owner too.

Grabbed his hand, I slid over the sleeves a bit and noticed some red marks behind the covering sleeve. Sliding it up, I shocked myself just to find a lot of healed scars, healing scars. And also a word scratched up to his elbow, “USELESS.”