Maybe I’ll never get over you.

Maybe I’ll be looking through the glass from your favorite coffee shop,

Sipping the coffee that was always your choice; black with too much sugar.

When we both knew how much I hated coffee.

-

Taeil groaned as he leaned in his seat, he couldn’t find any type of comfortable way to sit on the cold seat. He stuffed his hands in his pockets as he looked outside the window, it wasn’t even winter yet but it was already so cold. Dead leaves decorated the streets; he watched the pedestrians and their weird antics- such as jumping over the leaves only to end up slipping and falling on their bum.

He looked back, this time he hung his head down. The only thing that was on his empty table was a cup of coffee. Black, he had the urge to go grab a creamer or two but that would lose the meaning to why he bought the coffee in the first place.

He could barely see his reflection through the coffee but he knew he looked horrible. Everyone else did, but they didn’t feel like it was their place to urge him to take another bath and freshen up. He arrived at the coffee shop all gloomy and attracted everyone’s attention with the dark aura, but after he got his drink everyone treated him like a regular person.

Taeil gripped onto the cup and held it to his nose, sniffing it- he had fought the urge to gag. Then he sipped the coffee and felt as it his tongue had gave up on him.

The taste was so bizarre.

The bitter and sweet was such a clash that Taeil felt like getting a headache. He settled with a deep frown and set the coffee back down, surprising himself when he saw that the coffee barely looked like it was touched- even when Taeil was convinced that he had drank all of the coffee.

He stared dumbfounded then stifled his laughter deep in his throat.

-

 Maybe that’s why you left me.

-

He once again grabbed onto the cup and tried to swallow the bizarre coffee without ending up puking right there and then.

Feeling like he had drunk ten cups, he set the cup back down again. His tongue was burning and he could see his breath. His eyes fluttered shut then widen a second later- he had never imagined he would ever drink this.

But who did?

-

Maybe I’ll get addicted to this flavor,

Black like my soul and how I view the world.

-

He stared blankly and rested his back on his seat. He noticed someone staring at him so he did the same, only for the person to shuffle in their seat with embarrassment, attempting to hide the fact they had stared at Taeil- whom was still good looking despite his gloomy state.

He was about to mute out the world and take another sip from the coffee till he heard the window tap, he turned to look at whomever decided to disturb him and felt the blood rush quick to his face.

-

Maybe you’ll see me and come inside,

And you’d laugh in my face with the wrinkles by your eyes and your nose scrunched and say

“I told you, you’d love this!”

-

 There with that signature wide smile and eyes that turned to slits when he smiled, his beloved- or what used to be someone he could call his.

Lee Minyoung or how he preferred to be called- Mark.

 He was wrapped up with in a thick scarf and a similar thick coat, he looked warm. And Taeil felt his previously cold body warm up seeing the other.

The window was soundproof but he could make out what Mark wanted to say.

“Can I join you?”

And Taeil meekly nodded.

He fidgeted in his seat as he saw the younger made a turn to enter the shop, then in mere seconds, there he stood in front of Taeil- his cheeks, nose and ears were red and his eyes closed, he was smiling- Taeil knew, he could never forget Mark’s expressions that always made his days.

Mark pointed to the seat in front of Taeil and the latter nodded, indicating that there was no one in that seat- well he didn’t want company in the first place but he could never reject Mark.

The said boy pulled off his scarf and placed it on the table; making the table seems fuller and vibrant, funny.

He also took off his coat and hung it by his seat and sat down gracefully. Taeil merely stared at the other, clad in his black jeans and pink sweater-

‘Cute.’ Was all that went through his mind at the moment.

Then he was pulled back into reality when he heard a gasp, not a terrified one but one that sounded happy? Taeil blinked in confusion as he looked at the other, whom had his mouth gapped slightly and pink shades tinted his cheeks as he looked at Taeil with excitement.

Taeil on the other hand was still confused, well till Mark pointed to his drink then he felt his face redden.

“oh.” He silently let out as Mark tapped, or slammed, on the table with excitement that went with contrast to Taeil’s gloomy current self. Mark snapped his fingers at Taeil and let out a hearty laugh then leaned in and slapped Taeil’s forearm- not knowing what it made Taeil felt.

He sat back into his seat then leaned in to sniff Taeil’s coffee. His eyes twinkling in delight right after and a soft smile was plastered on his face. He cupped the drink and sniffed some more.

“See, I knew you’d like it one day! It’s delicious, right?” Mark was too caught up with loving the coffee to look up at Taeil and ask the question.

Taeil blinked a few times then let out a chuckle. “I wouldn’t call it delicious just yet.” And he saw the cute pout Mark always did, and then the smile graced his face again. He looked up this time. Eyes still had that twinkle and Taeil was about to say yes even when Mark didn’t open his mouth yet.

“Can I have a sip?” and the elder nodded softly, watching intently at the younger’s pink lips that seemed redder than normal, he watched how Mark softly placed his lips and drank the coffee with a blissed face. Which made Taeil chuckle softly. He wondered how Mark loved the drink as much as he hated it.

Mark set the cup down and stared dazedly with a small smile, he looked like he had drunk too much soju when in fact it was only a weird tasting coffee.

“It could use more sugar.” Mark meekly said and Taeil looked him with disbelief. The two let out a laugh that warmed up the coffee shop, everyone but the two had noticed that Taeil no longer had that gloomy cloud over his head.

“If you want it sweet then why would you take black coffee in the first place?” Taeil questioned but it was left unanswered, it was better that way, he thought.

Mark’s laugh slowly dimmed down and he looked at Taeil with that sweet smile that made the elder’s heart do backflips. Then they continued chatting, catching up on each other’s story.

“I don’t have much to tell.” Taeil shrugged and Mark snorted. “Obviously, I would be surprised if you actually had an interesting story.”

Taeil raised a brow and pointed a finger at Mark, whom returned it with his arms raised up in defense.

Then the atmosphere returned to its calm state, how the two preferred it anyway. They still continued chatting but it was less hyped than before.

Taeil felt his fingers barely touch with Marks and he wanted to touch the slender fingers of Mark. But Mark pulled back to grab the coffee and sip it. Was it on purpose? Taeil didn’t know but he felt a bit at dismay.

Mark pointed at Taeil’s own cup and the latter shook his head, he’s had enough of the awful drink.

-

And maybe I’ll say I love you by accident and you’ll look at me with a small frown.

-

Taeil looked over at Mark, whom surprisingly had a calm expression. His staggered breathing caught the younger’s attention. Mark blinked innocently and it made Taeil said something he knew he would regret.

“I love you.” He said softly, but it was loud enough for Mark.

He bit his bottom lip and made a sad expression at Taeil. The latter knew what Mark was going to say, he knew it but it didn’t stop him from hoping it would come out different than what he expected.

Mark leaned in and placed one of his hands on Taeil’s and the other placed to pet Taeil’s cheek. Taeil stared blankly at Mark but he felt his soul was no longer in his body, just a mere empty shell. That’s how he felt, once Mark left his life, he didn’t quite felt whole. And he regretted letting his ego get the best of himself.

He knew it was going to be like this, he knew. He saw the ring at Mark’s finger but he pretended he didn’t see it.

He knew Mark still used the route through the coffee shop from his university to his apartment, which he now lived with his fiancé, a man not that younger than him, Lee Taeyong.

He knew it all, but he held onto what was a thin string of hope, that Mark would still have feelings for him and he would come back to Taeil.

But he knew reality didn’t work like that.

And he felt his heart break into a million pieces, like how he felt when Mark told him he wanted a break up.

-

“I’m sorry but maybe we were never meant to be.”

-

“Oh Taeil.” His voice lulled Taeil. “You know I still love you.” Taeil didn’t feel anything, didn’t say anything. “But some people are just not meant for each other.”

And it wasn’t until Mark packed up his stuff and left that it occurred to Taeil that maybe this was his sin, his punishment for making an angel cry.

He remembered how bad Mark looked, and it was his entire fault. For all the bruises that ever kissed Mark’s skin, it was his fault.

And all that he could do with his punishment was continue to fall in love with Mark as days pass and have nothing on his side to help him confine the feeling.

Guilty and forever in love.

Because maybe Taeil just couldn’t forget Mark nor could he get over the love that once blossomed between the two.

a/n: dedicated to Taeil's birthday