I'm back, again. I'm sorry about these updates that come at the pace of a growing tree.

Listen only two things remind me that this fic exists: Nai and comment notifications. I was writing this for Nai, aka my beta, but now she's gone so my only motivation to constantly write this is gone ;u;

Go bother @nyaaaaaaa_nai on instagram or twitter if you want updates I guess lol

Hyosung’s crinkling laugh crackles like a whip through the speaker. “What are you all sad for? You didn’t fall for me, did you?”

Yuta takes a deep breath. In, out. “Of course not, we had an arrangement. I knew what I was getting into. I’m just sad to lose a friend. We’re friends, right?”

“Of course, babe!” Hyosung replies with the utmost cheer. “If you ever find yourself in Chicago, don’t hesitate to call me.”

Yuta hums knowing full well he has no reason to be anywhere near Chicago.

Hyosung starts again after a pause, sounding more subdued. “I’m really gonna miss you, you know. Thanks for everything, I’m really going to remember this part of my life. Not many girls get this chance, after all. For women, you’re either too young, or too old. I got to spend my golden year with you, isn’t that great? It’s not much to you when you’re young and surrounded by friends and school, but at my age… The next time I get into a relationship, I won’t have the luxury of not getting attached. It’s either don’t date at all if I value my career, or date for marriage. Game over for Hyosung. Time to be serious I guess.”

Yuta rubs his eyes. “It’s because… You don’t feel any pressure or expectations from me, right? So you never have to cross the line into the feelings zone.”

“Only you understand me, my dear!” She reverts back to her soap opera persona. “Ah, my boss is calling. I’m sorry to cut this short. Goodbye, Yuta. I wish you the best, because you deserve it.”

The line goes dead.

“Aaaahh I really screw myself over every time, don’t I?” Yuta mumbles to himself.

He knew full well that they would never be anything. And yet… and yet he thought… there’s no way we can and date and not like each other, right? If we do the same thing together, our feelings will be mutual, right? Even if we don’t fall in love, it will at least have been romantic, right? Of course not. Hyosung had her sights on her career. On her future. As much as she enjoyed being with him, he was just FUN. She says so every time. He’s not for a serious relationship. The way she assumes and affirms it is scary. While Yuta is chasing fleeting excitement in the form of romance and feelings, Hyosung was being practical. Their time together truly did not mean anything more than “having fun” to her. And that makes him feel pathetic. Because he really thought… that they might have became more.

“ing lame, Yuta.” He growls, frustrated.

“Class dismissed. Don’t forget extra practice this weekend. Taeyong…?”

“Yes sir, I will be running the weekend practice myself.”

“Alright, I’m heading out. let me know if you guys need anything.”

In the next 10 minutes, the room empties until only Taeyong and Yuta are left.

“This must be frustrating for you, right?” Yuta asks. “I shouldn’t be the one taking up your time for not being able to keep up, yet here I am.”

“HEY. Yuta, you’re tunnel visioning. Seriously. It’s not like you to be so… self-deprecating? I can sit here and nitpick your timing and footwork and angles and you can rep it 100 times, but at the end of the day, this is stuff you can already do. Whatever is getting you off kilter – fixing that is the only way you can get back to 100%. For now, let’s resort to micromanagement. Take it from the top at 75% speed.”

Yuta frowns. “I can do it at 100 you know.”

“I know. I’m just trying to give you a change of pace to undo the bad muscle memory you’ve been building up. If we run it again full speed, you won’t even know how to not do the thing you’ve been doing for the past 100 times you did it at 100. So do it slow and treat it like an entirely different choreo. You might remember something you forgot somehow.” Taeyong taps play.

It’s strange. At first, it feelseasy. He’s done the same movements countless times, except faster, stronger, smoother–

And that’s when it starts to break down. It looks awkward. Not in the same way as weeks ago, when they began this unfamiliar choreography at 75% speed. It looks denatured. He’s added unnecessary movements. A bend of an elbow, a twirl of a wrist. Hardly noticeable in the blur of fast-paced hiphop, but they were definitely not there before. Was it something he added later for style? But wait– stylization shouldn’t break down just because he’s doing the choreo slower.

“Do you see?” Taeyong cuts the music. “You’re off balance because you’re no longer placing your weight correctly in shifts and ball-changes. It only takes one knee at a wrong angle to really make it look not-quite-right.”

“Yeah.” Yuta drops down, panting. “Why didn’t anyone else get like this?”

“They do, sometimes.” Taeyong answers thoughtfully. “It happens when we try to reach beyond our means. Trying to be BETTER without having a clear image in mind. It’s like trying to get somewhere without a map.”

“Or like trying to pretend you’re cooler than you actually are, and th