When the blade touches Chanwoo’s skin he feels no tingling sensation of pride and his stomach doesn’t flutter with excitement, and yet he doesn’t stop. He dives and plummets into the abyss of pain where nothing is waiting for him. As he drags the blade through his skin he wonders why he doesn’t feel fulfilled, why his place in iKon isn’t enough, is he so selfish that he can’t be happy with the lines that he gets? and is he so selfish that he hurts himself because of the little amount of screen time he got?

<3                                                                                                                 <3                                                                                              <3

I am in no way encouraging self-harm, I do not think of it as something pathetic or as a sign of weakness. I was inspired by a video celebrating two years with Chanwoo and in that video there are clips from his days during Mix & Match, in one of the clips he says that he’s not good enough and in some of the others he’s just looking down on himself.

I am in no way believing that Chanwoo has done something like this, this is ONLY FICTION and I want to be super clear in saying that since this is such a sensitive subject. This one-shot contains no romance because I found it unfitting when dealing with this theme, what it does contain though is blood, explicit descriptions of cuts and the act of cutting oneself, thoughts of suicide, negative thoughts about oneself.

Please read with caution dear readers, and be careful with yourself and others. Be mindful of how you act and what you say, help others and if you are in need of help then please ask. And also, if you have at some point self-harmed (doesn’t have to be in the form of cutting) please do not guilt yourself and please talk to someone. If not family or a friend then message me, and if not me then please message someone else, like: http://www.7cups.com/

The site is really helpful and you can chat with people anonymously.

Please do not be ashamed for needing help, and please be willing to reach out.

I believe in you.

(Rated m and not recommended for you on the road of recovering or for the sensitive ones, please read with caution my lovelies)