JI SEOL'S POV

 

I always cooked breakfast. I once forced Esther to cook. She almost burnt the apartment. Bacon, eggs, toast, and tomato soup. I made them all myself. She didn't bother to help at all. My hair was still dripping wet from taking a bath and I was in my pajamas. Hello Kitty shirt and spongebob printed pants. I am not ashamed, even though how much Esther complains. "Ha- Jiseol-ah, could you pass me my phone? It's in the coffee table. Thanks." 

I rush to get her phone. The moment I arrived at  the coffee table. A message popped on the screen from an unknown number. 

010-xxxx-xxxx

"When are you going to tell her everything?"

"Jiseol-ah, are you peeping on my phone again? I told you I don't have a boyfriend and if I did have one I would tell you." She yelled from the bathroom, drying her hair. 

"Oh no- I-I," 

"I was just kidding. Calm down scaredy pants. And hurry up and eat or else I'll eat everything." She smirked playfully as she grabs her phone from my grasp. I returned a smile, but my thoughts were at somewhere else- the message. Was Esther hiding something from me? I shook my head. I refused to be suspicious of Esther.

"Jiseol seriously. I am shoving everything into my mouth. Let's eat." Esther groaned. I sat beside her at the table, eating slowly, not saying much. I noticed Esther staring at me. I ignored her, putting myself in deep thought once more. 

"Jiseol, is there something wrong? There's something different about you today. Is this about yesterday at the alleyway? Because if it is I can explain---" 

"Esther, I have something to ask you."

 

She didn't make it obvious, but I observed how nervous she became. At times, I ask her questions- questions about my past because of course I couldn't help but be curious. Whenever I try asking, I see how dark her expression becomes. She won't even meet my eyes- like she's scared. Suddenly uncomfortable, she darts her gaze away from me. Usually, I would change the subject, but this time I wanted to know. 

"Who am I really?" 

"No matter what anyone says. You're Kim Jiseol. My best friend." She speaks firmly, looking straight at my eye. I caught the slightest hesitation in her response. I force myself to look away. I didn't want to waver anymore. 

"Mind telling me why I don't feel like it?" I snapped.

Anger. I felt anger.

"Jiseol, you lost your memories. Of course it will be unfamilliar. Through time, you will get used to it." She paused. I felt her desperation. Me as her friend wanted to trust everything that comes out of . "The guys from yesterdays got to you didn't they? You were never like this before." 

"I was never like this before? I always held my words Esther. Do you think I was clueless about everything?" I held on to the armrest, gripping it hard. "I was waiting for you to tell me, Esther." Tears ran through my face. 

She held my shoulders tightly and embraced me, wiping my tears. "I'm sorry for everything. It's all my fault. I tell you everything once the time has come. I promise to be honest with you so don't cry Jiseol, alright?" 

"Esther, the man I saw yesterday," 

"Ignore him and the others. They'll only hurt you more." She said while carrying me to the sofa, organizing the cushions. 

"He is the man- always in my dreams." 

She shook her head. "You've seen wrong. Whoever you saw in your dreams, it's not him.  He is a stranger. I can assure you that." I nodded, but I wasn't so sure. The man in my dreams and the man I saw yesterday looked identical. 

"Let's prepare to leave. Our first class starts at nine o' clock." 

 

*     *     *

 

Today, I only had two classes. Photography. One of my favorite classes which ended earlier. Esther had one more class after mine so we couldn't meet. I decided to visit the library to borrow some books. Esther warned me to not go around alone, but then I realized that the library is only few blocks away and I also wanted to get used to being alone without Esther. I left her message before I left the campus. 

 

"Psst. Hey! Beautiful lady over there." A man wooed from afar. I cringe in disgust. I disregarded him, thinking he was calling for someone else. 

"Are you deaf, beautiful lady?! Come here! Let's have some fun!" The man shouted. When I realized I was the only one there, I ran, dropping my phone on the ground then a group of drunkard men followed me, I couldn't pick it up. A sharp projectile pierced my skin. My vision blurred, hazy. I felt numb in my legs. A tranquilizer dart. My legs gave in. I wasn't in control of my body anymore. I fell, scraping my knees in result.  

 

I heard dark humorless laug