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Jeon Jungkook has never felt so alone. So lonely and uncomfortable. Sure he left the safety of his home in Busan to the bustling city of Seoul at an age too young, but even then he’s never felt so terribly ing out of place. He slyly tries his best to look at the man sitting beside him on the airplane, Kim Minseok. He finds it just the tiniest of funny with the way the actor had his head tilted back, mouth wide open and drool dried. Compared to the other plane rides he’s been on, this was barely anything. In less than an hour, the whole crew except himself, had fallen asleep and now they were being stirred awake by the flight attendants and the obnoxious overhead voice of their arrival in Seoul.

 

Jungkook is more than glad, even though a math final awaits once he steps foot on the mainland and a concert. He waits until the plane has successfully landed and come to a stop before he allows himself to lift his head up to look at all of his seniors. He tries his best to look okay.

 

“Thank god we’re back. I’m tired,” spoke Jo Seho.

 

Jungkook and him make eye contact. He smiles, scrunching his eyes in effect. However he only receives a curt nod before the comedian turns to someone else.

 

Jungkook feels it again. The tinge of pain in his chest and the absolutely strong desire to return home. All he’s thinking about right now is the safety of his dorm, the stuffy practice room and of course, the six people who he holds truly dear to him.

 

He had been extremely excited for the trip. It was his first variety show participation solo from the Bangtan Boys. Being the youngest, all of his hyungs babied him, asking him if he had everything, making sure he had one last proper meal with them all before he was well on his way. Jungkook could still remember the way Namjoon ruffled his hair and smiled at him.

 

“Since you’re the youngest, don’t forget your manners. Your hyungs might be hungry, so buy them something for offering.”

 

Jungkook had did just that, not even noticing that Yoongi had snuck some money into his wallet before he made it out the door.

 

“Are you sure these aren’t just leftovers?”

 

Jungkook shook the memory away, feeling terribly sorry for himself. He’s not one to wallow too much into negativity, but his emotions were always so frighteningly strong and he was afraid if he decided to cry now, after the whole incident should’ve blown past already, it would cause even more problems.

As he’s grabbing his carry on bag, he grimaces at the memory of being singled out and how awkward it had been on the whole trip. Not to mention, the fury of his fans attacking his seniors. After the first episode of the live show had ended, there was an emergency meeting amongst the staff and with no close ties at all with any of them, he sat on the bench by himself, scrolling through social media. The fans were not pleased, and s weren’t either.

 

The Bangtan group chat was overflooded with Jimin’s rants, angry stickers and emoticons being sent every second. Somewhere within that mess, Taehyung had sent a question mark. He smiled fondly at the memory of Jimin hugging him and cheesily promising him that he’d watch all the live streams.

 

“I’ll be going then. See you Jungkook,” said Byungjae. The younger quickly put his phone away in his pocket and bowed politely.

 

“Be safe. I had fun Hyung.”

 

One last smile and they separated ways. Behind Jungkook were the rest of the crew and once he spots Manager Sejin waving to him up ahead, he turns around and bows to them.

 

“I’ll be on my way. Thank you for looking after me.”

 

“Good luck on your final exams Jungkook,” smiled Minseok. Jungkook gave one last thankful smile and practically ran into Manager Sejin.

 

“How was Jeju Kookie?”

 

Jungkook swallowed down the words he’s been wanting to say about how he truly felt, but he couldn’t especially if he already felt the tears waiting to make an appearance. “It was fun. Wish I could go with the members next time.”

 

The manager noticed the shift in his tone but didn’t bring it up. After all, he had watched the livestream as well and he knew well enough that this wasn’t the right place to speak of it. Expertly avoiding the large public crowds and swarms of fangirls, they entered the parking lot. Quickly getting into the car, Jungkook entered the passenger seat, thanking Sejin for bringing his backpack and books.

 

“Did you want to go back to the dorms? The rest of the guys are at the dance studio practicing for the concert.”

 

“I’ll just go there. It’ll be boring at home by myself.”

 

Without another word, they drove on with Jungkook’s eyes glued onto his phone’s screen. Relief and comfort was slowly starting to flow back into his system, nerves coming to a slow rest. Just thinking about being so lonely just an hour ago made his heart constrict and the desire to see his hyungs grew with each passing second.

 

Jungkook also felt relieved seeing how all of his fans worldwide was there to comfort him through social media. The silence was broken with an awkward laugh when he finally saw the “burger party for Jungkook” tags on twitter.

 

Jungkook watches as all of his hyungs crumble to the ground of the dance studio, breathes uneven and sweat glistening. He joins them as well, noticing how they all begin to huddle in a circle facing each other. There’s an authoritative look in Namjoon’s eyes and Jungkook notes how soft it seems compared to the other times.

 

Something must be wrong, he thinks.

 

“We all know about the music shows and how we’re viewed by the other groups promoting.”

 

There’s a stale silence and Yoongi is no longer holding his head up high. He drops it down and immediately Jimin’s hand goes to his back. There’s more silence and everyone except Jungkook is looking at the leader. Namjoon hit a sensitive topic and they all knew it.

 

“I know everything they call you guys, everything they call me. Everything they call about our BigHit family.

 

Namjoon pauses slightly and waits to see if anybody looks up. Only Jimin dares to tilt his head slightly at an angle to stare near the center of their uneven circle.

 

“Suga acts like nobody can rap and only himself. Jin can’t sing, can’t dance, only has a pretty face, just a filler for their group. Jimin wants attention, his smiles and greetings are fake and deceiving. Jhope’s fake in front of the cameras, his attitude is sour and he’s greedy for outsider’s affections. Rapmonster regards himself too highly, and Jungkook as well.

 

Jungkook feels a twinge in his heart that slowly builds up in strength. His tired, beaten members become a blur, more than when he’s dancing to Dope and trying to focus on the front. His hand comes to sooth his heart, allowing for Seokjin to rub circles into his back.

 

“They say all these things about us, and we let it get to us. Our last performance was terrible because we were thinking about ourselves deeply.” Namjoon’s voice is shaking and Jungkook knows he’s crying. Suddenly, he hears a soft sniffle and now Jimin’s face is buried deep into Yoongi’s embrace.

 

“But we still have each other. We protect each other. We will do better than those who blindly judges us. We know we can do great things, heck we’re proving it as the days go by. We are a strong team, we have no secrets against another, we trust each other wholly. We have our own passion in music and dance, in our arts.”

 

Jungkook wipes furiously at his eyes as the leader is speaking. Nothing and everything seems right at the moment. He hurts because s shouldn't be hated. They were the most caring and passionate, filled with so much integrity and humility. The fact that they were subject to such hatred was unsettling and left Jungkook with a slight bitterness in his heart.

 

“Let’s not hide our fears and sadness from each other anymore. Let’s confide in each other, and protect each other. We can’t do everything alone.”

 

With that Namjoon is ushering everyone closer and Hoseok initiates the group hug. There’s a smile on Jimin’s face now and Yoongi’s pale complexion is beginning to lose the red in his cheeks and nose. Seokjin laughs and mumbles words about how it was all so corny and soppy, but hugged everyone the tightest.

 

Jungkook is walking up the stairs to where their dance studio is. He’s way ahead their manager who last minute tells him he’ll be heading to a meeting. Jungkook barely acknowledges it, grunting in reply. He’s indecisive about whether he should crush s in hugs or act as if everything was alright. He’s worried because he knows if he voices any sort of dissatisfaction, the retaliation from the members will be worse than what any fan could dish out on instagram or twitter.

 

He know’s it’s childish and pointless, but somewhere deep inside he wants his hyungs to care about it and to protect him, reassure him that everything was alright. s know more than enough about him to decipher the weakness behind his words of how much fun he had.

 

He’s now dreading his little reunion with s because he’s so mixed about what he feels. Now standing right outside the quiet dance studio, he opts to acting as if he was okay. After all, just being in their presence was enough. Opening the door, he’s surprised that the members aren’t doing anything. They’re all sitting in various parts of the room, phones in each of their hands. Jimin is the first to break the silence.

 

“Kookie!” He runs to Jungkook and hugs him, squashing him into a hug that has his breathing intensifying.

 

“Welcome back Jungkook,” mumbles Yoongi from the corner where he’s half asleep.

 

“Did you eat yet?” inquires Seokjin who makes a move to where their extra take out was put.

 

Jungkook notices the smile Namjoon gives his way and relishes in how snug and safe he feels being embraced by Hoseok, Taehyung and Jimin.

 

He cries.

 

He’s not only thinking about Jeju and his seniors anymore. He’s now thinking about the future and where each of them were headed. He’s thinking about how everyone was going to reach certain milestones before he does and they’ll be on their own way before he has fully matured. He’s thinking about the separation in the future and he’s scared that one day, he won’t care about having s beside him.

 

His heart is racing again, clipped tones and curt looks replaying through his mind. Remembering Jeju and the discomfort, the isolation he’s felt comes back and he doesn’t remember when but he’s on the floor now. Jimin’s got Jungkook’s head wedged between the crook of his neck and suddenly all six of the members who were dispersed comes together and is rubbing one part of Jungkook’s body.

 

His heart is no longer lonely, though. Each member is encouraging him, reminding him that they’ll be there for him forever, no matter what. It’s enough to keep the tears flowing, his body being flushed of negativity and his lone battle against it.

 

He continues, hand in hand with them.

 

 

AN:  **cries** koooookie T.T 

on another note, exo's monster thoooooo