It's Christmas eve, right now in this part of the world, it's 2:25AM, Sunday, December 25, 2011.  

Yesterday, I went to the supermarket, to do some shopping for the groceries, vegetables, and fruits needed for our Christmas feast. Some relatives will be coming to our house. There were so many people out shopping and malling.  Well, I could say, not as many as last 3 years ago, wherein I could hardly walk straight without almost bumping into someone,  but, still the car park was full with 2 lanes waiting to get in, the restaurants and fast food had lots of customers.

In the afternoon today, I went again to the mall, to buy some forgotten grocery items. The mall will be closing early, so I thought of paying my internet bill as well, I got disconnected yesterday, luckily I was not working on anything important at that time. And, I thank Nichi for having story-chapter-save added as feature here in AFF, because I was trying to write a story yesterday, and luckily it was saved before I was disconnected. 

I was with my uncle, who is a first cousin of my mom, and I bought him a t-shirt with his favorite Beatles' picture on the front.  He did not want me to buy him anything, but I insisted. My mom and I are grateful to him, for always being there for us, when we needed him the most, like right now. And, he accompanied me when I bought a cover for my second hand C3 Nokia, I just bought recently. I was planning to buy a touch screen cellphone, but, someone needed some money and, offered to sell her cellphone. My cousin said, it was cheap, and nothing was wrong with it, and she would have bought it for herself, if she had enough money.

Even if my mom doesn't like spagetti much, just awhile ago, we had dinner, the spaghetti my cousin cooked. It was delicious, I even had a second serving, giving the credit to my cousin, who knows her way in the kitchen. I know how to cook too, but I left the cooking to my cousin, I was not feeling like cooking anything.  And, if I cooked the spaghetti, I would have added more ingredients, which my mom does not like. She wants to keep it as basic as possible, if she will be eating spagetti at all.  I love pasta, and I love to experiment in my cooking. 

And, my taste is not their taste in food, especially my mom. I could say, my dad and I have the same taste bud.  If my mom wants Chinese food, she would have the Sotanghon or the rice clear string noodles, wherein my dad and I would have Canton, a flour kind of noodles. And in Chinese dumplings, my mom would have wanton siopao, my dad and I would have asado siopao.  

After eating, about 9 PM, and after washing the dishes and things in the kitchen, I went up to my room, and opened my laptop.  At last, I had a connection. First thing I opened was AFF of course, I am addicted to this place. I can't open a computer without opening my account to this place first. It's automatic. I thank Nichi and the Mods for keeping this place working, I so love this place.  

The second I opened was my FB, checked all my notificatications, and played some games. Yap, needed to play some games to past the time. 

Some of our neighbors had their stereos or Karaoke played aloud, while they waited for 12 midnight to strike.  I could hear different music played all at once in my room, even if they were some distance from our house.  Children were even singing along with adults. My cousin even went out to be with her friends. 

Even if I saw 'Merry Christmas' greetings in FB or here in AFF, I am sorry, if I say this, but, I am not feeling it this year.  I could not even say it to my own mom. I could not greet her, I could not utter the words, I could not summom the words to come out of my lips. I did not kiss her, either, which was my custom each year, except on the year my dad died, I could not greet her back then either. 

Even my mom, went early to her room, to her bed. She went to my room to inform me, no one was downstairs, and that we were alone, my cousin and nephew went out. 

My nephew, came back and went to my room, I had the earphone on, and I was surprised when he greeted me, "Merry Christmas, tita," when  a little pass 12 midnight came,  I could only whisper a half-hearted greetings back, as if it doesn't want to come out from my lips, almost didn't. And then he left again, to be with his friends.

I greeted 'Christmas Day' alone in my room, in front of my computer,

True, it is not such a merry day Christmas Day is.  Not all are happy on this day, but, continue on with their day, knowing it will pass, that this too will pass. 

I will not look on the happy faces anymore, or the feast on the table. I mean, I may see it, but not focus on it. I also mean, I will accept, that people are happy. When actually, it is depressing to me, being sad, yet everyone else is happy and joyful. But, I also know, I will not be sad forever. 

I know, Christmas, is a celebration, for the birthday of Someone great, Someone wonderful, Someone who could help me in this hour of my need, and His name is Jesus. 

And, He is greater than my problem.  And, He can give me true peace.