Once you are in love with someone, you can never be just friends with them.

**

It was raining.

Changhyun listened to the pitter patter of rain hitting his windowsill. The night was pitch black and the glimpse of lightning sent shiver down his spine. The shadow of scented candle dances in on the wall, illuminated by the light coming from outside.

Despite his bright personality, he loves being in the dark, with just half burned scented candles to calm him down. Watching how the candle lit dancing along with the wind and bring his worries and anything that troubled his mind away.

The relaxing aroma somehow makes him sleepy and sleep is what he really need. He was tired pretending to be all right but in the end of the day, found himself curling up on his bed with tears down his cheeks. It was painful.

Loving someone who doesn’t love you back was painful.

But loving your best friend who doesn’t love you back was excruciatingly painful.

The pain hurt you just the same as you fall in love, slowly and all at once. And now, the pain has spread all over his heart, like someone has stabbed his heart. It was suffocating. It was night like this that he felt suffocated and empty. His stomach felt sick, and like he would never feel good again.

It was so hard to pretend to be friends with someone special, when every time you look at that person, all you see is everything you want to have.

Changhyun was tired of crying. He was stupid, at the first place- to fell in love with his straight best friend. To fell in love with the ignorant jerk, to fell in love with Choi Jonghyun. He knew from the start that this love would go nowhere. It was pointless. It would just shattered him. And it does.

But you love with your heart, not your brain. It knows no right nor wrong. It just fell in love and continue beating for the person even though it only bring him pain.  For him, it beating for Jonghyun.

Changhyun closed his eyes, remembering the night when he was out of mind, his heart thrummed fast in his ribcage that he choose to defy his conscience and kissed Jonghyun. He remembered how Jonghyun body turned rigid and his eyes blank. Disgusted with him.

He remembered how Jonghyun pretended nothing was happened and flinched every time he made contact with him. That moment, Changhyun knew he already lost his best friend. People said love is blind but friendship close its eyes.

The sound of thunder made Changhyun jerked from his thought and brought the duvet closer to his body. He grabbed his phone on the night stand to check the time. Tomorrow he doesn’t feel like to go to school. But he was out of reason to convince his parents.

Sighing, he brought the phone closer to his face and shocked to saw over 20 missed calls from Jonghyun. He was panicking when new incoming call flash on his screen, and accidentally press on the green button.

It was only raining sound welcome him when he put the device on his ears. A long silent, and he decided to end it, until Jonghyun’s voice croaked at the end of the line.

“Ch-changhyun?”

Breath. He told himself. Not wanting Jonghyun to hear the hoarse in his voice after crying. He hummed in response.

“Open your window. I am freezing right outside your room.”

Instinctively, his legs was auto walk on his own the window and plunged it open. His eyes met with shivering, drenched Jonghyun. The dancer’s eyes red from the cold, pale lips quivering.

Changhhyun mouth open agape.

“Can- can I come in. It was really cold out here.” His teeth chattering.

Without word, Changhyun step aside and open the windowsill. Jonghyun jumped over and in just second he was already in Changhyun’s room. Changhyun dashed to his wardrobe, grabbed a new towel and gave it to Jonghyun.

Half an hour has passed with both of them standing awkwardly without saying a word. Until Changhyun broke the silence.

“What do you think you are doing? It was dangerous.”

“I need to talk to you. Can you please hear me out?” Changhyun hummed as he walked over to the edge of his bed and gestured Jonghun to sit at his study table. He was nervous of what Jonghyun had to talk. He saw through Jonghyun fidgety state when he played with the hems of his shirt.

“My parent, they was a high school lover that got married and supposedly live happily ever after. But they are not and I thought love is a big bull. I hate the idea of love. I hate how when 2 person was out of love, other person victimized. It was hell, waking up to your parent arguing over things. I had this idea, that why bother fall in love just to fall out of it later. So I don’t. I am afraid. What if the other person doesn’t love me anymore? What happened when the love not there? To be honest I am afraid. I am afraid to fall in love. I am afraid I am hurting the other person.”

Jonghyun took a deep breath as he look in to Changhyun’s eyes.

“But I am more afraid of losing you. I don’t know what love is. I don’t even know what you do when you are in love, how you react to it. I don’t know. What I know – I want you by my side. I want to spend my time with you. I want to make you happy. And this is embarrassing, but I hate seeing you with other person especially Yook Sungjae.”

“So, I saw this thing on internet.” Jonghyun walked toward Changhyun. Slowly he bend with one knee down and his fingers found Changhyun’s. “This is awkward, but bear with me for a while– urm, Changhyun ah, I realized that I like you more than a best friend. My stomach felt funny every time I am around you, like butterflies invaded me. When our eyes meet, I feel the sparks in it. And my heart palpitated each time when my hands brushes against yours. I am not sure if you feel it. It was weird, but I like it. I know this is too late, but I just want to say that..” At this moment, Changhyun was mesmerized by the beautiful brown orb looking straight into his soul. Into his heart.

“Would you like to spend your whole life eating ice-cream while watching movie with me? We can adopt other puppy than my Golden Retriever if you want.”

When Jonghyun finished, Changhyun was crying. “I like Golden Retriever too, dummy.” It was mumbled by Changhyun’s sobbing sound but Jonghyun heard it clearly. “And I like you. If you are thinking that I am not having those butterflies, sparks and palpitations the same way as you do, it is because mine are fireflies and cosmic ebullitions and machineguns and you can’t handle that”

“And you know you can come into my house by just a knock at the door right? Silly, don’t ever to that again. It was dangerous.” Changhyun flicked Jonghyun forehead endearingly. His voice sound strict but the beautiful smile painted on his face gave him away.

Pouted, Jonghyun murmured. “I scared it will be too late.”

“What going to be too late?”

The taller looked at Changhyun with determination. “Changhyunnie, I can talk to your parent about it. I’ll beg if I need to, just please, do not transfer to another school. I can’t imagine my life without you.”

Changhyun laughed, leaving the jerk dumbfounded.

“I am not you idiot. Where you get the idea?”

“urmm..a teacher asked Chanhee hyung to tell a Yoo to come to his office for transfer process..”

“Is it our home teacher?”

“..No.”

“Then?” Jonghyun heard a smile in the question.

“You haven’t come to schools – thought it was you. I was worried that time.”

Changhyun beamed, as he pinched the dancer’s checks. “I don’t know you can be this cute.” That make Jonghyun frown. But he smile nonetheless, when Changhyun planted a kiss on his cheeks.

Despite the darkness of the night, the pink shades on their cheeks glowing like a firefly. And they hope that their loves also glow beautifully. Like a firefly.

The best relationship start off as friendship.

**

“Gross.”

“Ewww! Totally gross.”

“I agree.”

“Hmmm..yeah…gross..”

Jonghyun gave a middle fingers to the four that busy grossing over his little PDA moment with Changhyun. He was just snuggling and maybe a bit of nipping here and there but that was all. ers are just jealous. He just continue snuggled up to Changhyun side as he listening to the latter talking about the lunch box he made while clipping Jonghyun’s nails. Changhyun was so adorable and Jonghyun feels so damn lucky.

“Is it necessary to clip your nails in school hour?” Niel snickered.

“I want to vomit.” Chanhee said with a dramatic roll of eyes.

Jonghyun snorted, but his eyes never leaving Changhyun face “You guys are just jealous. Act like you guys never do it.”

“Its okay baby, you don’t even want to see if they do it. Especially Chanhee hyung and Byunghun hyung.” Changhyun gave him a reassuring smile. But he was too shocked to return his boyfriend’s smile.

“What?” He spluttered. “Since when? Chanhee hyung and that anti-social freak hyung that straighter than a ruler who only looked at his phone??” His finger was directly pointed at Byunghun nose. The latter scoffed, before look at his phone back.

“Hey, don’t insulted my Byungari you dip!”

“Once an ignorant jerk, always an ignorant jerk.” Niel sighed.

A/N – This is really the end. Thank you for subscribed and patiently waiting for my snail like update. I am sorry to keep you guys waiting.

I am now writing a new story - Win The Game ( And My Heart) 

Not to worry, it is going to be a one-shot. Feel free to subscribe J