III.

The door of the recording studio was open, so Chanwoo saw the glimpse of Hanbin's silhouette who was leaning on the desk to write. Despite Chanwoo could only see his back, it wasn't difficult to imagine how focused Hanbin would be since he always maintained a high, full level of concentration while working: in his mind he visualized the furrowed brow, pursed lips and the focused look that Hanbin surely had.
The pen was scratching on the paper producing a dry and sharp sound of something scraping constantly on the sheet.

Chanwoo came in and walked over to him holding the envelope in which there was the food he had bought for them both.
"Hyung?" he called him in a tone a bit hesitant putting a hand on his shoulders.

Hanbin jumped, turned, and as he saw Chanwoo a huge and bright smile formed on his face.
"What are you doing here?" Hanbin asked still smiling, he was pleasantly surprised by his presence.

“I just wanted to spend some time with you" Chanwoo admitted showing a certain timidity, "...if you like" he added in a whisper, turning his gaze elsewhere intimidated by his eyes, avoiding to cross directly the one of Hanbin.
Chanwoo bit his lower lip, and then Hanbin's eyes did nothing but linger for a while on the mouth of whom he didn't know the taste but could only and solely fantasize how it would be to kiss them, to kiss him.

"Of course I do" Hanbin replied without taking his eyes off of him, "I really would love to" he assured him with a smile that highlighted the dimples on his cheeks.

"We can have dinner together" Chanwoo suggested handing the envelope that contained hamburger and fries still smoking.

"Healthy food" Hanbin commented sarcastically biting the hamburger.
Chanwoo chuckled at the joke, then he sat on the desk and ate chatting with Hanbin about this and that.

Until an abrupt silence fell between them, it had arisen a vague tension that kept them apart as it had already happened in the past. They would have to crack it, tear it and reduce it to shreds to make room to the words, the gestures, the looks, everything that hadn't been said, everything that hadn't been done but the truth was already there from before, who knows for how long but there it was, right there, inside of them and it wanted to get out because it couldn't and shouldn't remain hidden, abandoned as the most shameful secrets.

Hanbin lifted his head, met Chanwoo's eyes and was lost in them for a long moment which actually it could last a lifetime. He stood up, reached his height and positioned himself in front of him without ever the breaking eye contact that was so much needed to find the courage to do and say what he wanted. Because regret was the worst crime.
"I'm glad you're here" Hanbin said to him, this time his smile seemed somewhat embarrassed by the situation.

"I'm happy that we are spending more time together" Chanwoo confessed lowering his gaze down, staying to observe somewhere in the void, "I wish all this would never end" his voice trailed off almost to disappear in the air to be only a distant echo, far from the present like a ghost, like a shadow.
Chanwoo's words weren't only words, they were filled with a concealed meaning of which Hanbin had already figured out everything he wanted to know.

“Why don't you look at me?” Hanbin asked him, “look at me” he kept asking but Chanwoo refused to do so.
Hanbin was driven to do what he otherwise would have avoided to do continuing to choose to repress and suppress the burning, oppressive, and painful desire that now lived within him and with whom he had to live with given that he didn't know how combat it and win it.

He grabbed Ch