Letting his phone ring somewhere in his backpack, Daehyun put the band aid over the small cut on his finger and hurried outside of their break room in the back of the small Cafe he was working at. It probably only had been Junhong, asking Daehyun where he had put his Mac book or most likely the cereal he had stashed away somewhere in the kitchen.

It wasn't anything new, Junhong's been a little bit chaotic ever since he moved in with Daehyun, hectic because he was scared to mess up his place as a scholarship student at one of the best dance academies in Korea.

Daehyun put up with it because Junhong was his best friend's cousin and the younger boy has grown on him during the year they've lived together. He was a young, genuine boy with his head in the clouds and dreams higher than one may reach but Daehyun had faith in Junhong. He was talented, sometimes annoying Daehyun to no ends when he was trying out a new dance routine at two in the morning but it was endearing when he'd come home from classes and beam at Daehyun with glistening eyes that his teacher had praised him for his extraordinary dancing skills.

The young student admittedly trained a lot, mostly with his friend Jongup whom Daehyun had encountered a few times in the afternoon when he came home from his own classes. He was much quieter than Junhong and lots smaller in height but had a toothy grin and eyes that told stories in the fragment of a second, happy ones, stories that brought you back to your most treasured memory, sad smiles gracing lips at the thought that the moment was over, melancholy shattered on the floor and a feeling of nostalgia hitting you like a wave hits the closest cliff at the speed of light, crashing against grey, dilapidated rocks, withered within time just like Gormley's Horizon Field in the alps of Austria.

Daehyun never thought of himself as someone special. He was just the ordinary, plain boy from the countryside, hoping to achieve something in the booming culture of central Busan. He'd been hoping the best for his Media Arts major, his notebook packed with several designs for his next assignment, several courses about offset printing operations and visual technologies stacking up his timetable that Daehyun started wondering how he managed to build himself a social status and friends, away from the smaller village he and his family had lived, the backyard where Daehyun and his brother tried to capture grasshoppers in the summer and would build snowmen in the deepest of winters.

Now his life was about sleeping the most he could during nights he stayed up late to finish a new design, helping out Shinhye when she didn't grasp the concept of the work their professor of web design assigned them to do over the week.

Shinhye had been his best friend since he was a freshman, helping him out and accompanying him since they both needed some company during the first lonely week of college.

Being a few months older than Daehyun, Shinhye was something close to an older sister to the boy, although they were both in the same year, she somehow appeared much more mature at times she could have stayed a child for a few measly hours, not forced to criticize society by any means yet she kept her guard up, head held high like the beautiful, intelligent woman she was.

People wondered why the two of them never ended up together, during their first year they both gained an acceptable amount of popularity due to their academic achievements and, superficially observed, good looks. Shinhye has a pretty face, really, Daehyun had to admit, structured and with strong features, large eyes and a full pair of red stained lips, long raven hair parted in the middle and falling over her chest. She'd always wear one of her many pairs of black ripped jeans, a simple t-shirt tucked into the waistband with a locket dangling down from her neck.

Boys would usually fall for the pouty lips and tough attitude, serious glances taken playfully to the point where Shinhye threatened them that she would call her older brother Seunghoon to beat the out of them if they wouldn't leave her alone. Whenever Daehyun was present though, she would smile apologetically and place a peck onto Daehyun's cheek, having him rub her lip tint off of his cheek after any guy left dejectedly.

Daehyun honestly didn't mind the invasion of his personal space if it was Shinhye but his girlfriends did. Throughout the first year he'd dated one girl, small, on the petite side with a sweet personality but a jealous heart tainting her pure self. Not starting anything serious before he wouldn't be able to talk himself out of it, Daehyun broke it off and felt awful for several days, whining to Shinhye that maybe it had been the wrong decision.

That was why he loved her too, Shinhye was there for him when he needed her to tell him that being alone sometimes is the best decision, that when your heart starts beating at another pace as your partner's you should leave before it stops completely. She showed Daehyun that sometimes all you need is someone to love you in the most platonic way, although you might be craving for more at the moment.

So Daehyun didn't bother as the short message of "Daehyun hyung have you eaten all of my cereal again??" shortly flickered up on the display of his phone. He walked out into the Cafe, in hopes to finish his shift a little bit earlier since Shinhye had asked him to come over for some revising, which will most likely just end up in her gossiping about anyone and everyone with some iced coffee for them on the table.

They always, always ended up doing just anything else than what they actually were supposed to do.

It surprised Daehyun that when he arrived at Shinhye's shared apartment flat, she was sitting on the white little dining table close to the window facing Busan's busy streets, concentrating on the text book in her left hand as her right was lingering above the keyboard of her laptop. They both had planned to work on their Digital Imaging assignment which was due in a little more than a month, Shinhye stressing a bit more over it than she needed to as she thought Daehyun was miles better at the class and that the (fairly young) teacher had taken a liking to him. Which was absolutely ridiculous, Daehyun thought, since the young lady probably was engaged to some high class business man or something of the like. It didn't interest him in any way though, since he's been happily single the entire year.

 

"Daehyun, you're here!" Shinhye suddenly said, rapidly placing her book down and closing her laptop. "Do you want some coffee?" She asked, making her way to the open kitchen to her right, having Daehyun trailing behind her after placing his bag on one of the chairs at the table.

"Who would I be to say no to coffee?" Daehyun jokingly asked, walking past Shinhye and to the fridge, not having eaten anything since the lunch box earlier after his classes had ended. "Do you still have some of that Galbitang? I'm starving."

"I don't think so, Doyeon came home earlier and probably ate all of the leftovers. Went to sleep over at her boyfriend's place though." Shinhye said after having taken out a cup for Daehyun, the one with the little Sally's on it, and preparing the coffee cup machine and taking out Daehyun's favorite flavor, the little cup containing a strong aroma of, honestly, just cheaper Starbucks Caramel Macchiato. Nonetheless, Shinhye leaned back against the kitchen counter as the machine worked its wonders and would hopefully brighten up Daehyun's mood after having worked for a couple of tiring hours.

"By the way, do you have a specific thesis you want to convert to our prof or are you just going to run with the usual Visual Tracking projects?" Daehyun asked, having taken out a yanggaeng bar he was unceremoniously unwrapping at the moment.

"I think I'm just going to go with one of the SURF projects, Ms. Song said that she particularly liked my latest work I handed in, which was pretty much connected to that, so I guess I'm not going in the wrong direction with it." Shinhye said, turning around and getting the finished cup of coffee to hand it to Daehyun.

"Honestly, I don't get what has you all over Speeded-Up Robust Features, like what is there that has you swooning over it most of the time, since it's nearly out of our major?"

"You won't get it though, sweetie. It's just, how do I say, somehow able to connect Digital Imaging and Modern Technology as one major? And that just, it's kinda exciting." Shinhye said, letting out a laugh as she saw Daehyun's perplexed look. "Don't look at me like that, oh my god."

"Yeah, I don't know why I asked you that, nevermind." Daehyun said and took a sip of his coffee, a sly grin gracing his thick lips, gently curved up and eyes tender as he enjoyed the short silence which embraced the two friends.

Daehyun jumped in his skin when Shinhye let out a small shriek as she was holding up her phone, quickly tapping onto some notification she had gotten and tugging Daehyun closer by his sleeve, nearly knocking the cup out of in his hand.

"Jesus, you nearly scalded my entire hand." Daehyun uttered, wiping the few drops of hot coffee away from his fingers. "What is it?"

"You know that Youtuber I told you about? The one from Seoul?" Shinhye asked, having paused the video right before it started, a still jet black screen facing Daehyun.

"Um, kinda?" Daehyun said, voice raised at the ending as he really couldn't keep up with all the people Shinhye was following online.

"You don't even know who I'm talking about," Shinhye said, slapping Daehyun's arm lightly, yet causing his coffee to spill a little over the rim, ", Daehyun. The one I went to a fan meeting of? That weekend I went to Seoul in summer?"

"I mean, I remember you going to Seoul but..." Daehyun murmured, once again wiping the coffee from his hand. "Stop shoving me around by the way."

"God, I can't. You really don't remember? Youngjae? Yoo Youngjae?"

"You've never showed me a video or anything, how should I know." Daehyun said, pouting slightly as he took Shinhye's phone out of her hand. "The name sounds familiar though."

Tapping onto the screen, Daehyun started the video and was met with some sort of aesthetically pleasing collages, as some would say, and a quiet, R'n'B like background music. The intro ended and a boy with a small-ish face and round doe eyes that ended in a pretty wing waved at the camera, saying one of those usual Youtuber greetings which seemed kinda cute in his case, rather than annoying like most of the time.

He had raven black hair, his bangs falling all over his forehead and covering parts of his eyebrows. His button nose was small and looked like you'd just want to boop it, cherry lips full and a beautiful color of peachy pink. His skin was smooth, creamy and without any flaw, a small beauty mark on the left cheekbone which only made him prettier as his cheeks were full and looked gorgeously soft.

The boy seemed to be rather thin (Daehyun would love to go get some ice cream with him), but his smile brightened up the small set up he was standing in front of.

Staring blankly at the screen, Daehyun didn't react to Shinhye squealing over how nice the colors of his eyeshadow palette were as Youngjae was babbling on about some brand Daehyun really hadn't heard of yet.

He was gorgeous, and Daehyun couldn't rip his stare off of him, confused as to why he was feeling that way towards a boy he had never met before.

Feeling a small nudge against his shoulder, Daehyun was pulled out of his trance and was faced with Shinhye who looked at him with curious, wide eyes.

"What?" Daehyun stated, frowning as Shinhye raised her eyebrows and contorted the corners of her lips.

"What was that?" She asked, pushing Daehyun's hand down as she was lowering her phone, looking at her best friend with perplexed eyes. "You know, the staring and basically ignoring my existence just a minute ago." Shinhye added, waiting for an answer from Daehyun who had been wide eyed looking at her since she broke his stance. He, admittedly, had been staring a little too hard at Shinhye's phone, admiring the soft curves and gentle features adorning the Youtuber's face and body.

Never had he taken a liking to a boy, not in that way at least. But curiosity had always been present, the idea of dating a boy never really repulsive in his eyes, the only thing missing was someone who would get him interested and there he was, behind a screen in all his beauty, talking about pearl red lipstick and toffee colored eyeshadow.

Daehyun never really talked about himself being bi curious, hell, his friends never really talked about anything else than girls and school, occasionally about the most recent soccer game but that was it. And when he was around Shinhye, the topics didn't change much except for her rambling about some boy from time to time and the few fashion comments she tried to slip into the conversation when Daehyun was tired and ready to just talk along since he wasn't very keen on having an argument with Shinhye in the middle of a shopping center. 

"Nothing." Daehyun said, placing Shinhye's phone into her hand and placing his mug on the counter, leaving the kitchen to heave his bag off the floor, taking out his textbooks and laptop. "Don't procrastinate, you always stop working when I arrive, seriously. How are you going to make any achievements?" He asked as Shinhye plopped down on her seat again, arms crossed and the smallest pout on her lips, yet she didn't utter a single word and just flipped open the page she had been on before Daehyun had arrived.

 

 

The cereal carton, ripped open and left brazenly, was still on the kitchen counter when Daehyun arrived at the apartment. Junhong's been long gone, the milk dried slightly to the bottom of the ceramic cereal bowl, indicating its been standing there for quite some time already.

Ignoring the mess on the counter (since it was Junhong's to clean up), Daehyun threw his bag on the couch, his laptop already in his hands as he was keen on progressing some further with his assignment.

Letting the device start up, Daehyun stepped to the fridge, looking for some snacks since he thought that he'll probably be sitting there for some time and actually do his work. Grabbing nothing more than an energy drink, because honestly, Junhong and him needed to go grocery shopping a lot more, Daehyun settles down and opens his browser, choosing a Spotify playlist before searching for his saved document.

He had come quite far in the time he had spent at Shinhye's place, since Daehyun had ignored every attempt of her trying to get something out of him because "When did you ever pay attention to Beauty Gurus?". Daehyun had brushed her off, he had been spacing out, "it's nothing, really" and continued on with his work, Shinhye left it at that and Daehyun had been terribly grateful for that, since he's really never dug into his feelings, his curiosity and the glimmering feeling in his gut whenever he thought a girl or a guy were cute.

He even had thought that Junhong was cute, the first time he had met up with him. Shinhye had dragged him to the dance studio where her cousin was practicing for his next competition, Jongup already by his side, a year older and a little more experienced. Junhong with his baby face a year ago, already as tall as he is now seemed so enduring, still a child by heart with his wide, open eyes and apple lips.

But Daehyun realized that Junhong was much more than just a pretty face and fair skin, he was childish, funny, very generous and with such a pure heart Daehyun grew to think of him as the little brother he never had. Junhong also wasn't exactly his type when it did come to boys, Daehyun preferred boys that were smaller than him, cute and innocent with that small spark in their eyes that told Daehyun there was more.

Nevertheless, Daehyun had never really hooked up with another boy, too scared of the reactions he'd receive. The most he had done was kiss this guy at a party a few months back, and that only because they were playing spin the bottle.

So with time, Daehyun thought of Junhong as family, there for him when he needed him with a shoulder to lean on if it ever was necessary. The same goes for Jongup, maybe with less intense feelings but the more Jongup visited Junhong and the more Daehyun met the younger boy, the more they got along and everything fell into place somehow.

Daehyun wouldn't want to change anything, he was perfectly content with the way everything was right now, Junhong and Jongup as loud as ever with their nightly dance practices in Junhong's room (Daehyun really needed to tell them to stop this), Shinhye by his side although she had been somewhat suspicious of Daehyun when he had put away the empty cups she had left on her dining table, when he had searched for a book in his bag, when he had stood up to go and charge his phone. Shinhye's eyes had been on him and Daehyun knew that she would start to seriously question him soon.

He was happy to be able to go to Yongguk with problems such as this one, the older student was more relaxed when it came to these kind of topics, a little bit more open to controversial issues than the ordinary college grad student.

Yongguk was a psychology major, a deep bass voice that voiced his opinions in such a clear manner and his intimidating eyes were a give away to respect the man. But with time, Daehyun found out about his soft, gentle nature, a charming gummy smile accompanying him as his face lit up with joy. It was fun to talk to Yongguk, Daehyun had only talked to him during his tutoring sessions with the older, since he was taking a few courses that drifted from his own major the past year but after those had ended, they quickly grew accustomed to each other and were as close as ever now, with Yongguk talking about anything and everything that came to his mind and Daehyun mostly just ranting about life to him.

Daehyun wouldn't know how he would get along without Yongguk by his side, the older was a person so fixed into Daehyun's daily life that he would leave a huge gap, probably bigger than Junhong or Jongup.

The funny thing was, the first time Yongguk had been over at Daehyun's flat, and it hadn't really been that long ago since the two students never were able to make proper plans to meet up, Junhong had been sitting on the kitchen counter, capri sun in his hand and was trying to sing along to one of these songs from Chris Brown that Jongup liked so much.

The two of them hit it right of, Yongguk laughing at the cute boy who was flushing a deep red and "Daehyunnie hyung, couldn't you tell me you were bringing someone along?" and Daehyun standing right beside them, happy because he had been worried that the age difference was too big between these two. So when he saw the endearing smile on Yongguks lips and Junhong enthusiastically talking about his favorite musicians, Daehyun was able to smoothly glide into the conversation and laugh over Junhong's scratchy singing voice.

Yongguk had been coming over much more often after that, meeting Jongup a month or less later and even if him and Junhong had it much easier, Jongup slowly worked his way into Yongguk's heart, the addition of another dongsaeng who Yongguk continuously cooed at was just another accident of life.

Daehyun was happy that all of his friends got along well, Shinhye sometimes visiting unannounced and babying Junhong and Jongup since she'd known them for the longest and appreciating a nice conversation with Yongguk, about nothing in particular. The group of them was somewhat chaotic at times but Daehyun treasured every singe one of his friends as they took up such a huge part in his heart.

But when thinking about alluring lips, peachy cheeks and crescent moon eyes, Daehyun knew that Yongguk was the person he'd want to tell.

And with his document open, not really knowing which band was on the Spotify Radio, Daehyun only ever put on when he was very out of ideas, it was too easy to open his browser and search for the Youtuber from earlier, not that he had kept the boy's username in mind.

And not that Daehyun totally remembered his name, Youngjae, the way his lips curled whilst talking and how his cute eyes squinted at something on his phone.

Youngjae most likely had the prettiest eyes and lips ever, the cutest nose and smallest hands and Daehyun was trying so hard not to stop the video and scream into one of the many pillows which were placed on the sofa just to his right. But Daehyun didn't, of course, what he did was neglect doing his assignment as he spent his time going through various videos on Youngjae's channel, having himself linked to his Instagram profile an hour later and an insanely stupid crush settling on his heart.

Cause of course, the first boy Daehyun really showed interest in (although still rather superficially, he tried to change that by watching a lot of Youngjae's videos) had to live the farthest away possible, up in Seoul, a city of nearly ten million people rushing through the streets.

It couldn't have been the cute cashier at the closest grocery store, the one with the thick lips and huge, deer-like eyes. Of course not.

It couldn't have been the small boy in his digital photography class, with his camera always around his neck, ripped jeans a little too large and shoes which were so worn out Daehyun sometimes worried the boy would get sick if he ever came into a heavy downpour since the sole of his shoes was tearing and the black fabric had little holes in its fuzzy material. 

But Youngjae had something, as glorified as it sounded, he had something which sparked an inner need inside of Daehyun, wanton lust burning up, dazzling, sparking desire gleaming up in his guts. Attraction hit him hard and an infatuation sometimes was worse than being in love.

Daehyun had been focusing on external looks, at the beginning, seeking to find happiness, seeking to get. It's not love to begin with, it's being possessive, being in love with an emotion.

Love comes gradually, an infatuation hits you up, you're hooked, drunken on an object since Youngjae was nothing more at the moment.

Daehyun didn't know him, would probably never meet him in person, so it didn't matter when Daehyun went to bed that night, nearly all of Youngjae's videos in his Youtube history by now, his pretty face behind Daehyun's closed eyes as explicit as all of the pictures Daehyun had been looking at before he put his phone aside.

Daehyun's hand finding its way into his sweat pants, holding his half softly, enjoying his thumb working on the tip, slow flicks of his wrist and Youngjae's gorgeous face in his mind, those sweet, sweet eyes, so innocent and those red cherry lips, oh how nice they would look around Daehyun's .

 

 

_________________________________________________________________________

 

 

Youngjae was biting into one of the apple slices Himchan had prepared for him, a lovely little message on a small, yellow sticky note next to the small plate with red, deliciously looking, juicy apple slices. 

"Don't overwork yourself, honey." It said, a tiny scribbled on heart right at the bottom of it and Youngjae glanced at it every few times he averted his gaze from his laptop.

He had been editing a video which should be out in the early mornings of tomorrow, a simple one this time since Youngjae had been drained off of his energy because someone was constantly trying to court him. And that with text messages which arrived hourly, sometimes flowers at his doorstep, chocolate and small apology letters on blue sticky notes.

Jaebum kept the sticky notes Youngjae had bought him at least, even after their break up which had been two months ago, Youngjae figured. Two months of crying into bedsheets and Himchan rushing into his bedroom at 4am because "I loved him, I loved him so much." and Himchan only nodded at that, hugging Youngjae closer and usually taking him into his own bedroom in their shared apartment since Jaebum had spend a decent time inside of Youngjae's bedroom to have a single pillow trigger Youngjae's crystal blue tears out of his slightly swollen, red eyes.

Two months of reassuring himself that he was still worth of love, of attention and affection, Youngjae tried at least.

Tried to forget that Jaebum had cheated on him with that classmate of his, damn that ugly journalism something course and damn that stupid college Jaebum went to.

Youngjae had been trying to tell himself nothing was wrong the month before their break-up, but Jaebum kept coming home to him late although they always kept a rhythm for their schedule.

Eight in the evening, when Youngjae was done with his editing and rehearsing for his classes the next morning.

Jaebum was terrible at hiding that he was ing someone else, hickeys right below the waistband of his boxer shorts, small, stinging red scratch marks along his upper back.

Youngjae had been devastated as Jaebum actually answered truthfully when Youngjae couldn't stand it anymore, that yes, he had been ing that Jinyoung kid from that one specific journalism course he had taken up last year.

With fists on Jaebum's chest and tear stains on his gray t-shirt from Youngjae constantly clinging onto him and crying, yelling that that was it, he could take only so much from Jaebum and this definitely took the last straw.

Youngjae had been screaming when Himchan came home, and as he got the gist of the situation, Jaebum left with a bright red hand print on his right cheek.

Youngjae broke down that night, Jaebum had been his first boyfriend, their love going strong for two straight years although those were tainted with the occasional fights since Jaebum had never come out to anyone. None of his friends, classmates, not even his siblings, only his parents knew but that after Youngjae got together with him and it was a miracle that Youngjae and him had ended up making out in Jaebum's car the day they had met each other at someone's birthday party, Youngjae honestly couldn't remember whose it had been.

Jaebum had been so eager, kissing Youngjae with such passion, the butterflies in his gut began to crash into each other, bleeding wings only scratches amongst the chaos.

They were never able to go out on proper dates, not that dating as gay teens in Korea was easy at all yet the subject of Jaebum not being out as at least biual was a hardship the two of them never overcame.

Jaebum kept reassuring Youngjae that he usually doesn't show interest in boys, that he was just too pretty to resist, too smart and witty, with the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. Youngjae knew back then that those were all meaningless words, sweet talk to calm his anxious heart and he blindly accepted them. Jaebum was nice to him, almost perfect.

A picture perfect boyfriend, really, never forgot any anniversaries, bought Youngjae little presents and a bunch of flowers, took him out, planned the most beautiful, personal dates.

Little daily routines crept their way into every day life, the most remarking one being the sticky notes Youngjae loved to write on.

Jaebum's favorite color was blue, so Youngjae decided to gift him, alongside a fancy dinner at one of Seoul's most noble restaurants and a promising night afterwards, with a stack of blue sticky notes. Jaebum had seen the yellow ones in Youngjae's small, personal little office, as he liked to call it himself. In it his computer and a lot of devices Jaebum was only able to handle when Youngjae was right next to him, laughing until he pulled Jaebum up with a gentle tug on his collar, kissing his lips tenderly and helping his boyfriend out. But the most striking were the yellow sticky notes, on the sides of Youngjae's various screens, on a small bullet board and sometimes even on the table, the back of his desk chair and just above the light switch.

Jaebum used to make jokes because of those, but soon they were a part of one of those daily little routines. Whenever Jaebum had to leave earlier than Youngjae, a small little sticky note was stuck on Youngjae's bedside table. Usually small profanities of love written on them and little smileys, hearts, stars and even wary, japanese emoticons most likely hastily copied from some internet website Jaebum had pulled up before he left, searching for something like "love japanese emoji" because that was how cheesy he had become. Youngjae's heart was all mush. Those sticky notes meaning the world to him and when Jaebum started using his blue ones, it fueled his heart and he surprised Jaebum with pizza and wine, a fluffy baby blue blanket and a series of movies waiting for him in Youngjae's and Himchan's apartment, Himchan most likely out because Youngjae begged him to have this one time.

That one time turned into many, Himchan having to stay at a friend's ever so often but it never seemed that he hated it.

Himchan was happy that Youngjae was so in love.

He could see it in the younger one's eyes and Himchan has known Youngjae for a decade, if not more.

 

Youngjae was around seven years old when Himchan and his mother moved into the apartment flat right across to where Youngjae was living with his older brother and both parents. Himchan was four years older than Youngjae and four years younger than Youngwon. He fit right into, making tiny Youngjae feel as if he gained another sibling, a little clinging onto his two hyungs as he was a very lovely, charismatic child.

Himchan's father had passed away when Himchan was five, not many memories stuck of the man whom had loved him with all his heart. Youngjae only got to know Miss Kim, a very beautiful lady, calm and with such grace, Youngjae loved to watch her paint with her beloved oil colors every Sunday, a warm smile on her face when Youngjae asked what that one color blotch meant, small baby Youngjae not being able to see up the canvas which was placed too high for him even as he reached the age of ten.

Himchan loved his mother, Himchan in general got along with almost anyone he met, Youngjae's parents astonished by his outstanding manners, a little gentleman at any time of the day but he could turn into someone fun to hang out with, Youngjae had once told his parents.

Their friendship only grew stronger with the years, they weren't able to visit high school at the same time but as Youngjae finally graduated and had been accepted by the college of his dreams, they decided that living in the outskirts of Seoul was rather inconvenient and they soon came up with the idea of sharing a nice apartment close to the college they both were going to now. Himchan only having one year left but it didn't bother the older man, living rather central had always been a dream of his and he wouldn't have wanted it to come any other way.

Himchan was studying fashion design and Youngjae wanted to pursue graphic design, which went along well with him having his own active Youtube channel since he had been 16 years old and was making videos with an old, crappy camera he had gotten when he turned 15.

Their own flat had the space for all of Youngjae's, now much more developed, equipment, a nice, large bathroom, an open living room which was connected to the kitchen and two separate bedrooms.

Although both were on the rather creative side of the population, they kept their interior simple, Himchan knowing bits more about how to properly design a flat and so he was mostly in charge for their furniture. Neither of their families were short on money so it never had been a problem for the two of them to live life comfortably.

It was easy living together, probably easier than the both of them would have thought the day they said goodbye to their parents, giving Youngjae's brother a call to come and celebrate with them.

The only hardship they had to face was Youngjae coming out to Himchan, and it honestly wasn't much of a hardship, more like something Youngjae had as one in mind but after all it was nothing more than the hassle of actually telling Himchan and trying to not break out into tears whilst doing so. Of course Himchan had accepted Youngjae the way he was. They were basically brothers and what kind of brother would Himchan be if he weren't to come to terms with Youngjae's uality.

Youngwon had already known, somehow sensing it when Youngjae was 16 as he approached the subject gently, having a talk with his baby brother who only cried into his shoulder, worrying if their parents would also accept their son in a society like theirs.

In the end they did, with a long, serious conversation and some trouble trying to convince their father that Youngjae would be careful with how he acted and presented himself in public, since homouality was still a major taboo in their country and he just wanted his son to be save at all times.

Youngjae promised him, kissing his parent's cheeks as he tried to hide his tears once again.

Youngjae really was grateful for his parents and brother, it wasn't a given that families reacted that way to their children coming out to them, especially with such a conservative government when it came to regard such topics. Once Himchan's mother also knew about it, and heartily accepted Youngjae with a soft kiss on the forehead, Youngjae felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

Whenever Himchan and he talked about it nowadays, Himchan joked about how Youngjae's dainty shoulders were even able to carry it. Usually Youngjae would punch him lightly or pout, it depended on his mood but with Himchan smiling affectionately at him it was hard to be seriously mad at him.

 

With such a strong friendship, it was understandable why Himchan cursed the hell out of Jaebum, the night he came home to a screaming, crying Youngjae who had his heart on the floor, splattered into little fragments, Jaebum's honesty stepping down hard onto them. And also now, as Jaebum somehow thought that he could make things right again.

Sending ridiculous gifts which Youngjae only ended up throwing away since he didn't want to see the roses his ex boyfriend had send him just on a lovely Sunday morning.

Youngjae was still grieving, the blue sticky notes attached to bouquets of roses hurt him, and Himchan usually ripped those off if he were the first to see the flowers on their doorstep. And since Himchan had taken up a job at a high cut fashion agency, first as an intern but the CEO soon decided that she loved Himchan's ideas and level of creativity, his ability to hold huge amounts responsibility so she decided to hire him full time, he was more likely to leave the house and see purples, reds, blues and whites on the cute, little doormat right in front of their apartment.

Youngjae knew that Himchan took the sticky notes and threw them away before opening them, but he didn't want to read them and was glad that Himchan threw them into the trash; "Right where that Jaebum belongs to, to be honest. Don't look at me like that, Youngjae.", because he knew he never was able to resist reading them, too curious and his heart too weak to hold back.

And sometimes Jaebum would scribble down dates, with what happened that day and what made him fall even harder for Youngjae. Those were the times were Youngjae went to his room to read the note a hundred more times than he should.

It was honestly so hard to throw the blue little pieces of paper away, along with the roses and tulips and baby's-breath. Sometimes Youngjae just wanted to keep them all, for the sake of not throwing away the beautiful flowers, for the sake of remembering the times he had been loved whole heartedly. And Youngjae believed that Jaebum had loved him, never would he think that Jaebum was just in it for the thrill, because nothing ever was.

It was risky, scary, terrifying and Jaebum would have not gone through with everything if he didn't love Youngjae. He would have not gone through with the pain of knowing society probably won't ever accept their relationship, that it was futureless in most people's eyes and that they were sick, an illness inside their brains which caused them to act that way. Which caused them to feel the pressure on their bones, pushing down, crushing them into dust from which their doubts were built.
Youngjae might have thought Jaebum wouldn't be able to live like that with him forever, he never expected Jaebum to, but the pure fact that Jaebum had cheated on him with another boy was what tore Youngjae's walls down, brick by brick crumbling to pieces on the hard floor, breaking and splattering until nothing of his defense was left.

That was why he did throw the flowers and notes away.

Because Youngjae knew that he deserved more, he deserved love and someone who had cheated on him did not love him anymore. Jaebum had forgotten about him in those times he had held Jinyoung, Jaebum had not loved him in those times he had held Jinyoung. And once Jaebum and put Jinyoung above Youngjae, even for only a couple of hours, Youngjae knew that their relationship would never ever go back to the way it was before.

Jaebum had broken his trust, and a relationship based on trust, relying on another person was not possible anymore, was sentenced to death. Buried deep down ones memories, maybe to be looked upon in a year or more, but the pain it cause was too apparent at the moment to even remember the good times, times of love Youngjae would like to look back upon in the future.

But not now, not when Youngjae was planning his first ever fan meet down in Busan, not when Jaebum's white roses were freshly thrown into the trashcan downstairs in the basement of the apartment complex. It was such a hassle going down those 14 floors only to forget about his ex-boyfriend, but Youngjae had to endure that.
He didn't know when Jaebum would finally give up, he had told Himchan "Never.", because he still loved Youngjae, that Jinyoung had only been the substitute because Youngjae had been so busy with his channel blowing up and handling his assignments, that Jinyoung had only been a few good s, no emotions involved. And even if Youngjae believed those words, it didn't change that Youngjae had not been the one Jaebum went to. They could have talked about it, Youngjae honestly wouldn't even have cared if Jaebum had dragged him from his desk into the bedroom to him until he wouldn't be able to walk for the next few days.
But it was unforgivable that Jaebum had sought for another person's warmth, forgot about Youngjae and hid it from him.

Youngjae wanted nothing to do with Jaebum anymore, and it just kept getting harder and harder, since on the last Monday morning, Jaebum waited for Youngjae on the first floor next to the receptionist desk.

He tried talking to Youngjae who only wanted to get to his classes and finish some cleaning up of a video that day. But seeing Jaebum after nearly two whole months of no to little contact broke the armor Youngjae had tried to build up and he only yelled at Jaebum, that he never wanted to see him ever again, that he can off and please, never return.

Jaebum tried to stay reasonable, talking softly and apologizing more than a hundred times it seemed but Youngjae ignored him until the point where Jaebum couldn't hold it in anymore and he grabbed Youngjae's wrists, crushing their bodies against one another and holding Youngjae close by his waist.

Jaebum's lips so close to Youngjae's ear, the younger boy shivering and shaking, surprisingly relaxing in the hold Jaebum had on him, those strong arms which were engulfing him again, finally, Youngjae only wanted to cry.

And tears, once again, soaked the fabric of Jaebum's shirt as he held the smaller boy, hoping to calm him down at least the littlest bit, although knowing he should have never appeared out of the blue inside Youngjae's apartment complex. But Youngjae had never replied to any of his messages, the notes, the flowers.

Youngjae was crying so hard, rational thoughts catching up soon enough yet he didn't have the strength to push Jaebum away.

"Let go!" Youngjae said, looking up at the taller man with red, teary eyes and a glistening film of saltiness on his round cheeks.

"Youngjae, please, at least let me explain." Jaebum plead, gently thumbing the remains of Youngjae's tears away.

"No. Let go of me Jaebum." Youngjae's face was distorted in anger and hurt, the boy's small face looked so troubled, never had Jaebum seen his baby like that when they had been together and it stirred something inside of him. Nothing that led him to release Youngjae, he wanted to hold him closer and never let go of the younger boy's small, pretty hands but he did so anyway.

Jaebum let go of Youngjae, reluctantly so but eventually the strong grip on Youngjae's wrists was gone. Taking a step back, Youngjae dries his face with the sleeves of his pale grey shirt which were peeking out under his jeans jacket and reaching down to his thumb.

"You know what, Youngjae." Jaebum did not ask as Youngjae headed to the small flight of stairs that led to the entrance door, Youngjae didn't turn around but he was listening, Jaebum had always had him around his little finger. "No one will ever love you like I did."

A silent huff left Youngjae's lips, he bit down on his lower lip because he would not let Jaebum see how much his words still affected him, he would not let Jaebum see him cry.

"I hope I'm not late for my classes." Was the last thing Youngjae said before he left Jaebum standing there in the grand entrance hall, the few marble embellishments and the shiny elevator pushing down on the man, crumbling his pride into a mess on the polished floor, little fragments splitting and vanishing into his dismay.

 

 

_________________________________________________________________________

 

 

Daehyun had finished his assignment the next day since he had been way too tired to go to his classes, Junhong had bought fresh orange juice and a few more spare cups for their Coffee Cup Making Machine so Daehyun had been even more reluctant to go and on top of that, one of his favorite professors was holding that class and Daehyun was pretty sure that the old man liked him.

He didn't really feel bad about staying at home with Junhong, although the younger boy had practice at noon, Daehyun was pretty much occupied with finishing his entire assignment because once he's started and was motivated enough, his fingers spun words like a web.

And with one of his bigger assignments out of the way, Daehyun felt he deserved some free time. That being said, after Junhong had come back because he had forgotten his water bottle, Daehyun grabbed his laptop and went into his room to make himself comfortable on his bed.

And after reluctantly watching the first few videos that were being recommended to him, Daehyun searched for Youngjae's channel in his Subscription chart, he did subscribe the other day since the Youtuber would never find out about him with the amount of Subscriptions his channel already had. Daehyun also did not use the same username as on his Instagram account, on which he had grown to be rather famous.

People calling him Busan's Kim Won Bin, thousands of girls telling him how handsome he is and boys commenting that they envied him.

He had learned to deal with that, it wasn't too difficult since Daehyun enjoyed getting compliments and felt rather self confident. But he was nothing compared to Youngjae, at least that's what he thought.

The amount people following them on the two different social media sites were rather even, yet Daehyun thought that Youngjae put way more effort into his content than he was. Daehyun did ask Shinhye to take nice pictures of him from time to time, whenever he wanted to post something of higher quality or when he was dressed to impress, nobody in particular. He did want to maintain his followers and knew he needed to post regularly for them.

Which he did, even if it was only a picture of his shoes on a very lazy day, like today.

Daehyun had put his phone on silent mode, going through various videos on Youngjae's channel.

He knew quite a bit about the boy now, after binge watching a part of his videos the other night. For example that he was slightly younger than Daehyun, was still going to college despite being a very successful Korean Youtuber, that he was gay and out to his friends and family and that he was living in Seoul, in a rather beautiful and expensive looking apartment high above the busy streets with his best friend Himchan who sometimes made small guest appearances on Youngjae's channel.

And mostly his sessions of going through Youngjae's channel would end up with him going "aw, he did a video on cotton candy tasting, that's so ing cute".

But the moment a particular video title flickered across the screen, Daehyun felt his guts wrenching the slightest bit, his fingers curling just above the keyboard.

Because of course Youngjae was in a relationship with some really attractive, wannabe alternative guy. Daehyun knew he wouldn't like the man with his pierced ears and slicked back, raven black hair, the two dots right beneath his eyebrow and that arrogant smirk, plastered right onto his face.

But blame Daehyun's curiosity, he had to click onto the thumbnail with Youngjae looking as pretty as ever and that 's arm around his shoulder. Youngjae's room looked really pretty.

"Boyfriend Tag | Yjayo (with Jaebummie♡)"

Daehyun kind of hoped this was a joke and Youngjae would do this with just a friend of his, who just so appeared to have his arm around him and who just so appeared to have the privilege of Youngjae calling him a cute nickname but that was not the point. And the nickname was by all means not cute, Daehyun thought to himself, grumbling under his breath.

Youngjae's usual intro played and the second the soft melody ended, one could hear Youngjae's melodious laughter, his eyes scrunched up and his cheeks high, the little beauty mark right on his cheekbone making him look even cuter. The other guy, Daehyun didn't know his name yet and he did not want to call him "Jaebummie" because that was just plain stupid, was poking Youngjae's sides, sitting so close to him on the king sized bed that their thighs were touching and Youngjae was half way pulled onto his lap. In the heat of the moment, the guy pulled Youngjae's small face closer and planted a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

"Well that cancels out him being one of his friends." Daehyun murmured, a little bit agitated as he tried to calm himself down because what he was feeling at the moment was beyond reason.

He didn't even know Youngjae, and he probably never really would so why bother if he has a boyfriend, at least he seems to be happy, Daehyun thought, trying to persuade himself into thinking he was not utterly jealous of the guy sitting next to Youngjae, able to kiss him without any worries in front of a camera.

But oh was he in for a ride.

"hi guys, this is my boyfriend Jaebum" Youngjae said, a sweet smile gracing his plush lips and Daehyun already felt the jealousy bubbling up inside of him. "some of you have already seen him in a few of my previous videos and today we kind of wanted to give you a better insight on our relationship" Jaebum waved shortly at the camera and gave a smile, which was not charming at all Daehyun thought, watching Jaebum look at something on his phone.

"Jaebum's looking at the questions you guys sent us on twitter right now" Youngjae was resting his head on Jaebum's shoulder, looking down at the screen, his eyes sometimes flickering up to Jaebum's face, adoration lacing his brown eyes. "babe, we should do the more obvious ones first" Youngjae said, tapping down onto Jaebum's phone before taking it entirely out of his hand which led Jaebum to nestle closer and whisper something into Youngjae's ear, Youngjae adorably chuckling at that. "if there is any question asking if either of us is ticklish then that just got answered" Jaebum said, nuzzling his nose into Youngjae's neck who jumped a little at that.

Youngjae was so, so adorable and Daehyun's heart clenched at the fantasy of ever being able to hold him tight and give him little kisses and tickle his cute tummy, it was so stupid of him to be jealous of Jaebum.

"okay, how did we meet?" Youngjae read out loud, looking over at Jaebum who was smirking cheekily. "mhh, how did we meet again?" Jaebum asked, obviously teasing Youngjae who immediately took on a rosier color, a small blush blanketing his cheeks.

Youngjae was way too precious for that douche, Daehyun concluded, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he sat there, pouting.

"Jackson's birthday party, I'm pretty sure that was the first time I saw you, with your cute shorts and striped pullover." Jaebum continued, laughing out loud in a breath, looking at Youngjae who was hiding his face behind his tiny pair of hands. "and it should have looked ridiculous but you were so adorable I wasn't able to stop looking" Youngjae groaned at that, his hands revealing a deep pink blush covering his cheeks now after he let them fall into his lap. "shut up, Jaebum"

And for the first time in the entire video, which hadn't been going on for that long, Daehyun could agree with Youngjae.

"I'm not gonna get into detail but the party was over for us pretty early" Jaebum said looping his arm around Youngjae's petite waist, pulling him closer. "okay we got it, next question" Youngjae took a look at Jaebum's phone in his hand again, quickly going through a few of the questions which were on the screen right now. "where was our first date and our first kiss?" Youngjae asked, his eyebrows furrowing a little bit which made him look ever the more cute and oh god, Daehyun has got it hard.

"as if I wouldn't remember that, Jae" Jaebum pinched Youngjae's cheeks and Daehyun contemplated all of his life choices. "our first date was me taking you out for a stroll along Han River in the evening around the time they lit all the lights, and our first kiss was, well, not counting the make out session in my car on Jackson's birthday" Youngjae briefly hit Jaebum, furrowing his brows a little as if he was scolding him, "it was in my apartment, I indicated it because you were the blushing mess you still are now" And indeed, Youngjae was still blushing, Daehyun noted, at it started to annoy him because of how badly he wanted to be the only one to see Youngjae like that. "you were so blunt back then, but our first date was beautiful I honestly wouldn't have thought you'd be able of planning something like that" Youngjae smiled brightly, killing Daehyun in the progress of doing so, and Jaebum shook his head jokingly. "unbelievable, how little faith you had in me" With that said, Jaebum took his phone out of Youngjae's palm, leaving a kiss on his jaw as he was leaning over.

"who said "I love you" first, this one is cute" Jaebum looked up at the camera and focused his attention on Youngjae again, smiling at his boyfriend.

Daehyun was about to just close the video but he was way too curious to do so, so torturing himself it was.

"I did, but that only because you made me drink too much of that wine" Youngjae pouted, ignoring the huge smile on Jaebum's face. "it was the cutest thing ever, you literally only had half a glass of wine and were all tipsy, tugging at my shirt and looking like a little kitten" Jaebum said, cradling Youngjae's small face in between his hands and kissing the corner of his lips, well that was the part of the intro Daehyun had not wanted to see twice. Giving in, Youngjae placed his hands on Jaebum's broad shoulders and tilted his head for them to meet in a proper kiss, a little bit of tongue action going on before they broke apart and the video cut to the next question.

"when did you meet my parents?" Jaebum asked, an awkward smile forming on his lips for a second, although Daehyun could have seen wrong. "wasn't it a week after you told them you had a boyfriend? and they were so nice to me, I think they never wanted me to leave-" Youngjae said happily before Jaebum cut him off. "don't remind me of that time-" "oh but you were so cute, Jaebummie" 

It was terribly unfair how Youngjae even had the cutest aegyo Daehyun has ever seen. And he was so close to just turn off his laptop.

"okay, which movie always makes me cry?" Youngjae asked, a little further in the video and multiple, half assed mental breakdowns on Daehyun's behalf later. "Titanic, you are a er for that movie do not correct me on this one" Jaebum gently clasped a hand in front of Youngjae's mouth before the boy was able to retort.

Daehyun closed the tab on which the video was playing and leaned back against his headboard, unlocking his phone to see how he could have missed Youngjae having a boyfriend as he had basically stalked the boy's Instagram profile very precisely.

The bizarre thing was that Youngjae had not uploaded a single picture with Jaebum on it for what seemed to be the last three months, and after going back to check the date of the boyfriend tag video, it appeared that that was also one of the last including Jaebum and it had been uploaded around the same time Youngjae's last couple picture with Jaebum appeared on his Instagram feed.

Deciding that that itself was already suspicious enough, Daehyun thought that calling Shinhye would be the best idea since she had been following Youngjae for much longer than Daehyun and probably knows properly what's going on.

But Shinhye hadn't picked up her phone during the last ten minutes in which Daehyun had tried to call her, and only then did Daehyun realize that she was probably sitting in one of her classes, looking down at her phone only to see it was Daehyun, again, and she didn't want to be called out by her professor. She was a little weird, came in the first day of classes, with a camera around her neck and literally pulled out a 15 minute student made movie about herself without ever pausing or really explaining herself. It had been kind of funny but also kind of cute as everyone in the lecture was very very confused but after the video had ended, the elderly woman took out a large, wooden basket with adorable little cupcakes in it which she then gave to a boy in the first row to pass around. It wasn't such a large class since it wasn't exactly mandatory for nearly anyone's major, so the cupcakes didn't run out before everyone had one. Shinhye wished Daehyun had been there, since he'd love getting some food in class.

But right now she didn't have to the time to answer Daehyun's calls and Shinhye had gotten the hint that it was something urgent but Daehyun could literally just text her or wait a little bit before she got out of her class.

Daehyun stopped calling and indeed did write a message to her, without much beating around the bush since he was in need of an answer and he needed it now. He didn't care if Shinhye got suspicious or anything, he may as well just explain the entire situation to her later when she came over - which she will after receiving his text and questioning everything. But explaining his feelings to her would be much easier after knowing what was up between Youngjae and his boyfriend or whatever they were now.

Daehyun may had the slightest hope that they had broken up, despite how mean that sounded he wanted that Jaebum guy to be out of the picture and he also wanted to contact Youngjae, never mind how crazy that sounded. It wouldn't come off as too weird, Daehyun had concluded after trying to find a reason to talk to Youngjae on Instagram, most likely. But that only if Youngjae wasn't in a relationship anymore, since Daehyun felt this tugging on his heartstrings and a little voice at the back of his head that told him once he'd start talking to Youngjae there would be no promises that he wouldn't fall hard and fast for the boy. It was a bizarre feeling, but Daehyun somehow knew that he would love talking to Youngjae, that he would probably try to be friends with him and maybe try and use his large following as an excuse since his followers told him to check him out, maybe meet up or appear in one of his videos which would be a lie but Daehyun was desperate. 

He really hoped Shinhye would text him back as soon as she saw his message.

to: shinhye noona

you have to answer me asap!! what's up with that youtuber, youngjae, and the jaebum guy? no questions, I'll tell u later

Daehyun even would be willing to tell Shinhye about his current ual insecurities, if that is what you want to call it. Maybe Daehyun would simply stick to telling her that he's bicurious, and may or may not have a little crush on that Youtuber.

Despite thinking Yongguk would be the first one to know about this, Daehyun was feeling rather confident in talking to Shinhye later that day, who will probably pop up out of nowhere randomly in the evening with coffee and a raised brow, the words "Jung Daehyun, you talk, now" on her lips. Shinhye really was a predictable girl.

to: daehyunnie

jaebum was youngjae's boyfriend for like 2 years, they broke up around 2 months ago and no one really knows why

I'm gonna drop by after my classes end

where were you btw???

Daehyun read the first part of the message over and over again, not believing his eyes at the moment as this had been too much to ask but he couldn't deny that it made him incredibly happy. The tingling in his gut send shivers down his spine and Daehyun had to muffle a giggle because he was a grown man and that was just embarrassing. A large smile settled on his lips anyway, and Daehyun had to place his phone down next to him, hands coming to hide his face although he was all alone in his bedroom.

Daehyun might actually have a chance to talk to Youngjae without feeling like there was something in the way.

to: shinhye noona

thank u love u

lol, i was home, still am

Daehyun shuffled out of his bed, still smiling widely just at the though of talking to Youngjae soon but realized that he was being creepy and he tried to calm himself down.

Getting his phone out of his bedsheets, Daehyun shuffles around his room a bit, getting his dirty clothes, which were lying in one corner since probably three days, and putting them in the laundry hamper he's gotten from Shinhye. His desk was clean enough for him so he decided to try and dry the dishes since Junhong had already washed them.

Daehyun didn't really care whenever Shinhye came to visit but it somehow would bug him if she'd see him and Junhong were living in a mess. They usually were rather clean but Junhong wasn't home much of lately and Daehyun just didn't really feel up to clean these past days, his mind occupied with something, someone else.

Which was ridiculous but whatever.

After having cleaned up enough, at least what Daehyun deemed as clean enough, he decided to get his laptop and maybe even ask Shinhye for help later, see if she knew how to start a good conversation with someone he's never talked to in his entire life.

Daehyun has never regretted it more than in that exact moment to have given Shinhye a spare key to his and Junhong's apartment.

"Wow, I should have known, I mean you did stare at that cute freshman a lot but I didn't think your type wouldn't change at all. I mean look at him-" Shinhye cooed as she looked over an embarrassed Daehyun's shoulder, who was looking at one of Youngjae's Instagram posts. "He's really adorable, right?" Shinhye looked at Daehyun, a gentle smile on her face and Daehyun's shame and subtle anger of getting caught cooled down. "You really always fall for the cute ones, don't you?"

And an airy laugh escaped Daehyun's throat, he shook is head as he turned around on his chair to look at his best friend.

"I guess you could say that, yeah." Daehyun smiled, thankful that he didn't need to explain his situation to Shinhye anymore as he was terrible at conveying his feelings verbally, don't blame him, he didn't intend to always jumble up his sentences and words, it happened naturally and sometimes Daehyun thought it was more of a blessing than he felt it was.

"Why did you ask me about Youngjae's relationship status?" Shinhye asked, taking a seat next to Daehyun.

"Well, to put it, like, out in the open. I kind of want to message him?" Daehyun said, questioning himself more than really asking Shinhye for some help. "And- Don't skip to any conclusions, it's just because he's really cute and I kind of want to get to know him personally." He continued, before Shinhye had the chance to interrupt.

"So, you're asking me to explain to you how to woo a boy?" Shinhye laughed, turning Daehyun's laptop to herself so she could search for something. "Alright, I mean you obviously don't have any experience so we're gonna go through this, step by step because god knows when the last time it was you chasing someone instead of the other way around."

Daehyun suppressed a bitter laugh to escape his throat, turning his attention to what Shinhye was doing on his laptop.

"Okay, so not many know of this but Youngjae has a private Instagram account and back then when I was in Seoul at his fan meeting, we kind of had a nice conversation and I asked him if there was any way of contacting him and not drowning in another thousand people's messages." Shinhye stated matter of factly, already opening Instagram on the screen and on her phone to look for Youngjae's profile.

"Okay so, hypothetically, if I were to message him he'd probably see it?" Daehyun asked, looking at what Shinhye was doing on his laptop as she was logged into his account.

"Yeah, probably." Shinhye said, side glancing over to Daehyun with an evil grin playing along her lips.

"Oh no, Shinhye don't ing-"

"Ups~"

Daehyun watched in horror as Shinhye clicked the follow button, his entire life basically flashing right in front of his eyes, on his laptop screen. He buried his face in his palms, cursing every evil spirit that has lead to his and Shinhye's meeting in the first week of college.

"I hate you." Daehyun whimpered, not able to look up, at his friend nor his laptop.

"Oh shut up, who knows how long it would have taken you to actually follow him, probably weeks." Shinhye said, pulling up Daehyun's dm's, "So, I'll actually ask you what I should write, so tell me."

"Are you nuts?" Daehyun yelled, jumping up from his devastated position on the table and looking at Shinhye with wavering eyes before turning to his laptop, seeing a brand new message window opened. "Don't! Shinhye!"

"Stop whining oh my god, if you won't tell me I'm just gonna say hi or something."

Daehyun stayed quiet for a while, contemplating Shinhye's so called idea. Because what else should he say? A simple hi would definitely not freak Youngjae out like some weird, three paragraph long message he probably would have pulled out from the depths of his brain.

"I mean, hi is fine, I guess."

A joyful squeak fulfiled the air, Shinhye happily sending the short message before turning around to Daehyun who had placed his head on the table again.

I can't believe I let her through with that

"Daehyunie, I know exactly what you're thinking right now." Shinhye teased, nudging his arm a little, a large smile on her pretty face.

"If it means you know I'm planning to brutally kill you with a spoon then, yeah, congrats."

"Okay for real, shut up and go stalk his other account since you've probably seen every picture on his public one thrice." Shinhye said, encircling Daehyun in a quick hug before telling him that she needs to go home to work on something Daehyun missed since the door shut and he was on his own again.

 

 

It wasn't before Daehyun was lying on the couch, watching just anything that was on TV at the moment whilst eating some of the Galbijjing with Gaji Bokkeum Junhong's mom had brought over just around the time Junhong came home from practice, when his phone buzzed from the pocket of his hoodie.

And to be honest, Daehyun had been on edge the entire evening, cursing his phone when it was an unnecessary email from some advertisement company, spamming his inbox. But the moment he unlocked his phone and the small little Instagram notification was at the top of the screen, Daehyun could only think of one thing.

And he was scared but this is a really cute guy and Daehyun did not want to mess this up, not with Youngjae.

So he his phone to see the small message box at the top of his screen, indicating that yes, there had been someone who did message him on Instagram. It definitely could be like, Yongguk sending him some abstract art from some artist from Europe, Daehyun guessed. And with that in mind, so he wouldn't be too disappointed, Daehyun slowly dragged down his notification bar, quickly shutting his phone again, pulling it to his chest as he let out a very unmanly squeal. Because it really was Youngjae who had messaged him, and Daehyun may or may have not reacted too fast thus he didn't actually see what Youngjae had replied. A strangled laugh, something close to when you have something in your throat and your voice gets stuck, pulled him out of it.

"Wow, you're so dramatic." Junhong said, a Capri Sun in his hand as he was lazily slurping from the thin straw.

"Junhong?"

"Yeah? Surprised to see me, in our apartment?" Junhong said, his sarcasm dripping down his thin lips. "But hey, this is not about me." Raising his eyebrows, Junhong plopped down on the armrest of their couch right next to Daehyun, snatching the older man's phone out of his hand to turn it on and punch in the code.

Daehyun was staring at Junhong in shock, not really realizing what had just happened in the last few seconds until he heard Junhong laugh once more.

"So wanna hear what your pretty Youngjae replied?" Junhong teased, an omniscient grin on his face.

"You know about it?" Daehyun asked, slowly coming back to his senses, glaring at Junhong because he was brazenly going through his messages. Which was not okay, because Daehyun had actually wanted to be the first person to look at Youngjae's message, and he really did think that nothing would get in his way from doing so, of course he didn't count a nosy Junhong in then.

"Know about your little crush on pretty, cute, beautiful, gorgeous Youngjae with his fluffy cheeks and cherry lips?" Imitating Daehyun, apparently, Junhong laughed at the scandalized look on Daehyun's face. "Yeah, I know."

"How?" Daehyun nearly shrieked, since he didn't know that he had been this obvious about it, actually, he thought that he was being rather discrete.

"I mean, I'm not dumb? I realized it when you were busy looking at your laptop or when you were glued to your phone and once you've left your phone on the table I took a sneak peak and yeah, the poor boy's Instagram was opened and I know that only one thing can get you to stalk someone's Instagram." Junhong casually said, waving around with Daehyun's phone in his hand. "So you wanna know what Youngjae said?" He teased, enjoying how red Daehyun's cheeks have gotten.

"Yes, if you could please give me my phone back." Daehyun said defeated, sighing because how was he to survive with Junhong as his flatmate.

Junhong gave up on teasing his hyung and handed over Daehyun's phone, disappearing into his room but not before he threw a wink at Daehyun who just let out another sigh.

"For s sake this kid is going to drive me crazy." Daehyun murmured after he heard Junhong's door close behind him.

But Daehyun didn't have time to get angry over such trivial things now, not when he indeed had a message from Youngjae in his inbox.

And please, it wasn't weird that Daehyun needed a little time for himself before actually opening the reply and starting a conversation with the probably cutest, prettiest boy ever. He held his phone in his hands, and closed his eyes the second he tapped onto the conversation box between Youngjae and him.

But of course Junhong would silently leave his room and scare the out of Daehyun who nearly dropped his phone but could hold onto it in the last second.

"Junhong! What was that for?" Daehyun yelled, his phone uncomfortably in between his hands now as he looked up to see the younger boy smiling widely.

"Thought you need a reality check." Junhong stated, making his way towards their kitchen to grab one of the Capri Suns which were on the counter (as usual) before sending a wink in Daehyun's way and disappearing in his room again.

Daehyun groaned, not only internally, and finally took a look at his phone to see the cutest little message ever followed by the outcome of him nearly dropping his phone.

dhjung_: hi

yjoo: hey (ˇ⊖ˇ)

dhjung_: sdjhfsldjf

And god was Daehyun ready to punch Junhong in the face but he had to remind himself that Shinhye would most likely disown him for doing that to her precious baby cousin who has definitely outgrown the term "baby" by now but Shinhye could be a little bit delusional sometimes.

"JUNHONG!" Daehyun screamed into the emptiness of their living room, his back slumping against the couch in defeat as he piled the pillows up on his face.

"What?" The boy came running out of his room, once again, to see his hyung buried beneath the couple of pillows the two of them have bought at Ikea once to feel as if they actually tried to decorate their home. "What did you do?" Junhong asked, kind of done with Daehyun who was being a little overly dramatic.

"What I have done? You mean what you did!" Daehyun said as he pushed the pillow which was placed right above his face away, looking at Junhong as if he'd stolen his underwear and sold it on ebay. "Look!"

Daehyun shoved his phone into Junhong's face to let the younger boy see just what outrageous act he had committed.

"Yeah, I just helped you earn some brownie points, you don't have to thank me." Junhong said with a smug grin plastered onto his lips.

And within a second Daehyun straightened his back with which all the pillows tumbled down to the floor, retreated his phone and looked at the screen with wide eyes, unbelieving of what exactly Youngjae replied.

yjoo: no one has been this enthusiastic to talk to me in ages

yjoo: no one as attractive as you at least ( 〃．．)

yjoo: ahh sorry this must be super awkward for you now

Daehyun screeched, as quiet as he could but Junhong still winced on his spot behind the couch and looked at his hyung with questioning eyes, wondering if he'll ever end up like that when he was crushing on someone. But he had to admit, Daehyun was a little extra sometimes, so maybe not.

Ignoring Junhong now completely, Daehyun had his entire attention on his phone, trying to think of some great comeback because wow Youngjae is adorable.

dhjung_: if I'm attractive then you're the prettiest boy to walk the earth

dhjung_: don't be sorry I'M SORRY

yjoo: holy

yjoo: smooth

dhjung_: I needed to get that off my chest

dhjung_: you're ing adorable

yjoo: you're really bold

yjoo: I'm shy ( 〃．．)

dhjung_: aw

dhjung_: god

dhjung_: you're so cute

Daehyun was pretty beat the next day, after having messaged Youngjae until approximately three in the morning which was way past his bedtime cause he had a ten a.m class the next day and kind of needed his seven hours every day to feel rested enough.

 

________________________________________________________________

 

Needless to say, Daehyun and Youngjae grew awfully close in the two months they've been texting each other and Youngjae would lie to himself if he were to say that Daehyun didn't spark a certain kind of emotion in his heart which made his head spin a little and his knees go weak and his breath short.

According to Himchan, Youngjae was whipped but couldn't really admit those feeling until officially meeting Daehyun in person as Youngjae was terrified they wouldn't have the same chemistry in real life.

But regardless of how afraid Youngjae was to actually meet his online crush, Himchan and him were flying down to Busan in two days and Daehyun and probably all of his friends Youngjae has gotten known via ridiculous stories Daehyun has told him will be there to welcome them at the airport and will most likely accompany them during those two weeks Youngjae and Himchan have decided to stay.

Youngjae had given them two days before the first fan meeting to settle in a little and rest, on the third day Youngjae would be holding his first fan meeting, taking Himchan with him since the older man was there for moral support. They'd have two free days after their first meeting and a second meeting was planned a little more in the south of Busan since Daehyun lived in Yeonsan and Youngjae and Himchan were allowed to stay at his flat for the second week after staying in a hotel from Sunday till Friday.

And like, don't get Youngjae wrong he's happy that Himchan is accompanying him on his trip to Busan but it would have been so much better if Youngjae were to stay alone at Daehyun's flat with Daehyun, since Junhong said he's fine with sleeping over at Shinhye's place for a week. Youngjae doesn't really think they'll be doing anything more than cuddling because Youngjae really, really liked Daehyun and he knew for a matter of fact that Daehyun liked him too so Himchan would just be the awkward third wheel if they were to watch a movie together on the sofa, cuddled up against the other and Himchan would most likely tease Youngjae until death or fake gag at the two younger boys.

Pushing those thoughts to the side, because Youngjae decided to let the events happen as they come, he searched for a particular pair of jeans he would never travel without, according to Himchan those made his seem like the finest of peaches and Youngjae would gladly have that in front of Daehyun.

Himchan had already packed everything they would need down in Busan, even took care of some of Youngjae's equipment which he can not travel without. But Youngjae was very much just pacing up and down the hallways of their apartment, searching for his beauty products and whatever fancy clothes he apparently needed because Himchan hyung, Busan is as much of a bustling city as Seoul is I can't go down there looking like trash to which Himchan had just replied that Youngjae always looked a little like garbage but Daehyun still likes him anyway.

With a soft punch to Himchan's arm, Youngjae asked him if there were still a few of his designer pieces left that Youngjae had the opportunity to try on before Himchan submitted them to his supervisor.

"Baby boy is trying really hard to look pretty, aren't you." Himchan laughed before going to his room to search for the pieces Youngjae liked in particular.

"Shut up, I have to at least try, have you seen Daehyun's Instagram? He could literally have anyone he wants yet I'm here." Youngjae stressed, getting his spare travel toothbrush out of the small cabinet in their bathroom. "Like, I don't really get it, I make boring videos on Youtube, did you know he even got picked out to model once? When he was 19!"

Himchan stuck his head out from his room, looking across the hallway down to where Youngjae was sitting in front of the bathroom, his toiletries in hand and trying to squish them all next to the others in his pouch. "Youngjae you do know you will have to shower tomorrow and before we leave, why are you packing your shampoo?"

"I have extras, also, have you never heard of travel toiletries, Himchan I thought of you as better educated." Youngjae mumbled, getting up to search for a set of nice towels he could use in the next two weeks.

"Anyway, don't stress yourself this much, Daehyun won't hate you because of your unorganized pouch." Himchan said as he walked into Youngjae's room to dump the few pieces of clothing onto Youngjae's bed.

"Holy , you're a life savior Kim Himchan." Youngjae yelled, putting his pouch and towels next to his huge suitcase.

There were some of Youngjae's favorite pieces from the new creation at Himchan's company, which hadn't been released yet so Youngjae felt very darn special for being allowed to wear those prototypes. "You know, you can actually keep them, they don't really fit me and we altered them a little before adding them to the creation." Himchan said, a smile on his face as he watched Youngjae jump up and down in his room.

There was a double set of identical blouses, one in black and one in white, a large v-neck collar with matching sleeves which would pool around Youngjae's thin wrists. A black belt with a medium large loop attached to it was part of the outfit but Youngjae knew he'd be wearing that one just randomly as he pleased.

Then the oversized sweater which is never going to fit Youngjae in his life but it had black and white stripes and Youngjae loved stripes to no end so that was that.

There was the white blouse with a cropped turtleneck and added lace detail which Youngjae had worn to one of the gatherings at Himchan's work place, shyly having to display Himchan's gorgeous work.

One of his very favorites were the black cropped slacks which reached his ankles and were to be paired with some patent leather shoes, Himchan had added a nice black pullover out of some thin, apparently expensive material which had a very high collar, yet couldn't be called a turtleneck.

"Well, because I know you really love your Gucci but you're literally never willing to spend money on it, I asked Minhyuk to bring over some leftover samples." Himchan stated, grabbing Youngjae's arm to pull the startled boy with him. "I thought you'd like their sneakers and like, that one shirt with the stripe over it, nevermind  you'll see what I mean."

In Himchan's room, on his work table, there was a clean looking pair of shoes, a green pullover with white details around the collar and a white t-shirt, the Gucci logo in between green and red stripes and the brand's name on top of that in a decent, tinted dull gold.

"Can I marry Minhyuk hyung, how did you even manage to get a friend who's this cool." Youngjae whispered in awe.

"I'm happy you like them, now get back to packing I don't want you running around searching for your underwear before we leave."

 

________________________________________

 

"God damn it, Daehyun, stop pacing around you're driving me crazy." Yongguk mumbled, slumping back into the hard plastic seat, typing away on his phone.

"I can't. They're arriving in five minutes how am I supposed to stay calm?" Daehyun whisper yelled, as he walked down to the passageway which lead to the arrivals.

"Maybe try and sit down?" Junhong stated, rolling his eyes as he continued watching a video with Jongup on his phone. "Shinhye would kick your seeing you like this, by the way."

Daehyun sighed and walked back to where his friends were seated, slowly sitting down next to Yongguk, wishing Shinhye was here because she'd have more sympathy for him than any of these heartless idiots. Just as Daehyun got a little comfortable, the announcement was made through the speakers that the flight from Seoul had arrived safely and Daehyun was about to spring out of his seat but Yongguk held him back, his strong hand around Daehyun's upper arm and a firm look engraved in his gentle features.

"You don't want to look like a fool in front of Youngjae, do you?" Yongguk asked as Daehyun leaned back.

"I don't, but he's here, cut me some slack but I really like him so I'm kinda nervous."

"Wait, you like him?" Yongguk asked, now looking a little surprised as he looked at Daehyun who was staring wide eyed at his hyung. "Like, like like him?"

"Well, I mean, I guess." Daehyun said under his breath, seemingly wanting to melt into the chair he was sitting on.

"I knew that you had something left over for cute guys, I just knew it." Yongguk said triumphantly, looking over to see Junhong smirk at Daehyun. "Wait, don't tell me," with a look at Junhong's sly expression, Yongguk couldn't really doubt that Junhong had probably figured it out all before him. "Junhong knows? This little ?"

"I figured it out when he was devastatingly looking at his phone before having the guts to text Youngjae. Living with this little Casanova, I was surprised how difficult it was for him to simply say hi to Youngjae." Junhong laughed, enjoying the little humiliation he was inflicting on his hyung, he loved Daehyun like a brother, but that is also part of having a brother, teasing him to no ends and that was exactly what Junhong had been doing ever since he found out about Daehyun's little crush.

"Jongup?" Yongguk asked, ashamed that he of all people didn't notice Daehyun wearing heart eyes goggles.

"I didn't notice but Junhong told me like a month ago." The youngest said, returning his attention to his phone since watching Yongguk ponder about the entire past few months wasn't as fun as looking at new teaser for the upcoming Naruto episode.

As Daehyun was facing his friends, enjoying how Yongguk couldn't believe no one had told him about Daehyun's crush, none of the boys noticed the first people streaming out from the corridor, heavy suitcases trailing behind and light backpacks hanging down from their shoulders.

Youngjae nervously walked next to Himchan who was rambling about someone damaging his suitcase since that one scratch hadn't been there before but Youngjae honestly wasn't listening. In a matter of seconds he'd meet Daehyun and his guts were twisting, the butterflies in his stomach were driving crazy and Youngjae felt his heart beat quicken the closer they got to the end of the corridor.

The corridor opened up to the large waiting area and Youngjae immediately started scanning the place, his eyes falling upon a group of bickering boys from which one boy seemed to particularly catch Youngjae's eyes.

Daehyun was smiling at a rambling tall boy who couldn't be anyone else than Junhong, next to him was Jongup who was looking at his phone and right besides Daehyun was Yongguk, whom Youngjae had seen once as he and Daehyun had skyped.

Without much waiting, Youngjae walked towards them, his heart in his throat as he felt his hands get all sweaty and his knees weak. The loud clattering coming from his and Himchan's suitcase had Jongup looking up and a smile raising on his boyish face before he nudged Junhong so he'd finally stop talking. Junhong turned around at the same time Daehyun looked up, just before Youngjae and Himchan halted in front of them.

"Hi." Youngjae said shyly, pretty much only looking at Daehyun who by now had risen up from his chair, his eyes clinging onto the petite figure standing just a bit on front of him.

"Hey."

 

 

Busan has always been the city of Daehyun's heart but the young man didn't realize how astonishing the skylines and mirrored lights in the river were until Youngjae was excitedly bouncing by his side in the evening, his camera around his neck and a beautiful glistening in his eyes that had Daehyun's heart swelling with love. It was ridiculous, but the first time Daehyun laid his eyes upon Youngjae his heart was pulsating out of beat and his mouth went dry.

Youngjae had been wearing but a white jumper and a pair of blue jeans, his tiny hands clasped around his luggage and his lips pulled in between his teeth. It felt new, exciting yet somewhat awkward as Daehyun stepped forward and encircled Youngjae in a tight hug, the younger boy's head held close to Daehyun's chest, both boys shaking from the intimacy their first touch brought.

Youngjae had been in awe, the feelings Daehyun inflicted in his guts were something he hadn't felt in so long and it felt so good to have this warm feeling back, the buzzing in his every bone and the blood rushing through his veins in a dash. Daehyun was even more handsome up close, his body oh so warm to Youngjae's touch and it felt like home which Youngjae couldn't quite explain at the moment but he'd felt the most secure he's felt in a long time in Daehyun's arms.

Yet both boys were too shy to walk too closely next to the other, their hands would sometimes brush but Youngjae didn't know how to react to that, his face heated up and he tried to hide his little smile from Daehyun whose legs felt like jelly whenever the rosy blush would reach Youngjae's pretty cheeks.

"Daehyun, you said you wanted to go to this market down in Nampo-Dong?" Junhong called from the front, turning around from where he was walking a few steps ahead of the two older boys.

"I don't think today's the best day for that, we'd have to drive an hour down and I bet Youngjae and Himchan are kinda tired?" Daehyun raised his voice at the end, turning to look at Youngjae who was walking to his left.

"Well, we could all just walk around here and get some food? And maybe go to the market after the fan meeting, if that's okay?" Youngjae said, biting his lip as he looked up to Daehyun, who was only that little bit taller then him.

"Of course, I can tag along with you tomorrow to check out the Cafe you chose." Daehyun said, smiling as he saw Youngjae nodding along, his little cheeks up high.

"I'd like that." Youngjae muttered, letting himself shift closer to Daehyun, their shoulders touching now.

"Well okay, I guess we're going the day after the fan meeting, Yongguk hyung." Junhong said as he let the two love birds be on their own, hurrying to catch up with the other three of their group.

"What, why? Daehyun was so keen on getting some real nice meat down there, the seafood is spectacular."

"He'd rather Himchan and Youngjae relax a little, how was your flight by the way?" Junhong directed at Himchan who had been silently trailing along the three boys from Busan he didn't really know that well yet.

"Oh, it was fine, it's nothing big really, it's only an hour down to Busan too." Himchan said, smiling softly, thankful that Junhong tried to engage him in the conversation a bit.

"I've never been to Seoul, but honestly really want to go one day, I bet Daehyun wouldn't be against it either." Yongguk said, smiling widely at the slightly younger man.

"God, yeah, these two are behaving like newly weds and it's honestly already driving me crazy." Himchan said with a sigh, but joined in the laughter of the other three.

 

 

"Daehyun is just so sweet and perfect and handsome and oh my god Himchan, what if he thought I'm dumb or looked like a fool after arriving, my hair was a whole mess since I fell asleep on you during the flight." Youngjae rambled as he sat on his bed, watching tv as Himchan towel dried his wet hair.

"He doesn't think you're dumb, Jae. And you looked cute so stop talking." Himchan said, concentrating on the news which were being displayed on the screen in front of them.

"You really think so?"

"Yes, Jae."

 

 

 

"He's so pretty? I mean I knew that but what the hell, Junhong, have you see his face, it's like that of a small angel." Daehyun sighed, sitting on Junhong's bed as the younger tried to squeeze in some sort of studying before going to bed.

"Yeah, he's great." Junhong said absentmindedly, twirling his ball pen in between his fingers as he tried to grasp what his textbook had to convey to him.

"He's also so intelligent and cute, god, what if he thought I'm the most boring guy he's met, that would be disastrous!"

"Disastrous!" Junhong said, slowly closing his textbook and looking over at his hyung. "No, for real, I think he likes you."

"You sure?"

 

________________________________

 

"Wow, it's really pretty here, thanks for recommending it." Youngjae said as he looked around the simple coffee shop where his fan meeting would be held the next day.

"No problem, I thought that it would be big enough and maybe fit your style a bit." Daehyun said with a wide smile, loving how bright Youngjae's eyes seemed to sparkle, his little hands excitedly thrown around in a cute gesticular manner.

"It does, thanks Daehyun." Youngjae said as he turned around, embracing Daehyun in a quick hug which ended with both of them blushing as they parted.

"Do you want something to drink? My treat since it's your first day here." Daehyun hummed, making his way to the counter.

Youngjae wasn't able to fight the the redness creeping up on his cheeks, the warmth in his heart spread with every second even if the degrees outside were only dropping. "Sure, do they have green tea? Since it's gotten so cold, I won't be surprised if it started snowing today."

"Mhh, alright, you can chose a seat until I get our drinks." Daehyun smiled at him, holding back the coo which was threatening to come out of his throat since Youngjae looked incredibly cute with his old fashioned pullover and over sized blue jeans jacket, a light pink dusting over his cheeks.

Youngjae went and chose a small table for two by the large window panes, settling his bag with his camera down as he watched Daehyun smile at the young barista as she handed him his change. It was weird, Youngjae for sure knew the small, tiny gnawing feeling in his gut as he watched the girl push her hair behind her ear, but it wasn't like Daehyun and him were an item. He didn't like this feeling, it made him anxious and wonder if Daehyun was actually feeling the same as he was.

Daehyun was very handsome for sure and he had never talked about any of his exes (not that Youngjae did eccentrically) and Daehyun knew very well about Youngjae's ual orientation. Was it bad that Youngjae wanted Daehyun to like him more than he liked that girl?

"Youngjae-ya, what are you worrying about?" Daehyun asked, his voice smooth and calming as he sat down opposite of Youngjae after he'd placed their drinks down.

Youngjae hadn't even heard nor seen Daehyun coming over, "Oh, nothing. Just spacing out a little." He smiled, thanking Daehyun as he took his mug, taking timid sips from the hot beverage.

Daehyun snorted softly, "You're cute, Youngjae-ya."

"Stop it, hyung." Youngjae whined, earning an honest laugh from the other boy as his cheeks grew hotter.

As Daehyun's laughter simmered down, Youngjae could feel the way Daehyun was looking at him, his eyes big and attentive, as if he was trying to engrave a picture of Youngjae's face into his mind. "Hey, so, would you like to come tomorrow? To the fan meeting, I mean." Youngjae asked after he placed down his mug.

"Sorry, I really have to go to my classes, I'm already skipping today, which isn't the most benefiting for me." Daehyun joked, cracking up the way Youngjae's eyes went as wide as the moon.

"You didn't have to come with me today, Daehyun. Why didn't you tell me you had classes?" Youngjae said, questioning how Daehyun would chose this over his education.

"Cause I wanted to spend time with you." Daehyun shrugged.

"You're terrible." Youngjae whispered, embarrassed by Daehyun sweet talking him, his hands grasping onto the hem of his pullover underneath the table.

"Mhh, I bet I am." Daehyun said, teasing the younger boy who by now was a blushing mess. "But I'll be taking you and Himchan down to Jagalchi Market with Yongguk the day after tomorrow."

"Not having any classes that day?" Youngjae asked, lovingly mocking Daehyun with a small grin on his face.

"That class is available online, so don't worry your little head over it." Daehyun talked back, leaning over the table a little bit to match Youngjae's gesture which lead to their noses nearly closing in on each other, creating a tranquil pause as their eyes locked.

"You've got an eyelash there." Daehyun whispered, gently cupping Youngjae's face in one hand, his thumb grazing over the apple of Youngjae's cheek. The soft touch elicited a shiver running down Youngjae's spine and a trail of goosebumps forming on the skin beneath his pullover. "Got it." Daehyun said as he retreated his hand, yet his body was still as close as possible to Youngjae's.

"Thanks." Youngjae's voice was small, soft to the ear and he could have sworn his entire face up to the tip of his ears was already red.

Daehyun casually leaned back, brazenly eyeing Youngjae with such obvious interest, Youngjae felt dumb at the thought of Daehyun liking the girl at the counter, which he probably doesn't even know, more than he liked him. Youngjae ducked his head, embarrassed at his speculation and the occurring image of Daehyun kissing him.

"Yongguk can drive us, he's just gotten his car back from a garage, I don't know, something's been wrong with his engine." Daehyun said as he took his drink, his eyes trailing outside of the window, the piercing, icy snowflakes slowly trailing down from the sky.

"Okay." Youngjae followed his gaze, his warm brown orbs widening at the melancholy, cold scene outside.

 

 

The fan meeting went as well as Youngjae had hoped it would. The people were nice and terrifically sweet, handing him little gifts and presents, talking to him comfortably and complimenting him on his videos. Youngjae was happy, happier than he's been the last few months at home in Seoul with his classes stressing him out and Jaebum crawling underneath his skin.

Maybe he had just needed some time out from home. A few days off from everything that's been happening was doing him so good, a hearty laugh escaped his lips as Himchan tried to argue with Daehyun who would sit in the front next to Yongguk. Himchan won the argument, and Youngjae was glad he did because Daehyun was sporting a pretty cute blush on his cheeks and gave Youngjae a mild smile.

"Let's get some meat." Yongguk stated with a large grin on his face, shortly glancing at the two boys in the backseat before buckling up and turning the key in the ignition. The ride was very pleasant, slow RnB songs played through the speakers of the radio and Daehyun and Youngjae were engrossed in a conversation about living life after college, what they wanted to do and how they imagined it to be after they were free from going to classes every day.

Daehyun was looking at Youngjae as the younger boy rambled about wanting to be more independent, maybe getting his own flat after finishing college since he knew that Himchan also needed a new place with more space for himself and his work. But Daehyun wasn't very much listening as much as he wanted to, Youngjae's nose sometimes did that cute thing where it scrunched up and the way Youngjae talked, his lips moving so smoothly had Daehyun's eyes glued to them, wondering if they were as soft as they looked at the moment.

It was bad. Really bad, because Daehyun knew he would like Youngjae but the way things were going were a little too fast for his own liking. He was falling, hard at that and there was nothing he could do about it.

The way Youngjae walked through the market with his bright, shining eyes so wide with fascination, his face a little red from all the steam coming from the stands to the sides was so beautiful, Daehyun wanted to take Youngjae's smaller hand in his and walk with the boy until his legs hurt.

Daehyun didn't like the days he wasn't able to see Youngjae, the next fan meeting came up and Daehyun wasn't able to squish it into his day, Youngjae had told him to go to his class if he had one at that day and Daehyun reluctantly gave in but only because Youngjae was pouting and giving him those deer in the headlights eyes it was hard to say no to him.

 

The overall disaster didn't happen until Saturday morning when Youngjae and Himchan had to check out of their hotel room, it wasn't a disaster per se but Yongguk had suddenly called Himchan to notify him that he's gotten leftover VIP tickets to some high fashion event in the outskirts of Busan and he knew how Himchan worked in the industry and how much it would mean to him to attend one of these.

And because of that, Himchan had tried to convince a whining Youngjae to let him sleep over at Yongguk's until Monday would come.

"Himchan please, you can't leave me alone!" Youngjae whisper yelled at the older man as they waited for, originally, Daehyun to pick them up but since Himchan had agreed to Yongguk's offer, Yongguk would come to get Himchan.

"It's going to be alright, I thought you'd like to spend some time alone with him?"

"I may have said that in the past but you can't leave me hanging like this now." Youngjae whined, his fingers clinging onto the expensive fabric of Himchan's jacket as he tried to convince his friend to stay because this was a challenge he really couldn't and shouldn't take on himself.

"I swear, I'm not missing this event because you're too shy to hang out alone with your crush." Himchan said, getting rid of the hand gripping onto him as he saw Yongguk's car pulling up. "You're gonna do great, and I swear to god, don't already." Himchan said with a smirk on his face, walking away from a blushing Youngjae as he hoisted his luggage into the trunk of Yongguk's car and got into the passenger seat.

"You're evil, Kim Himchan." Youngjae whispered to himself as he encircled his body with his arms, silently waiting for Daehyun to arrive but he didn't know for what kind of car he had to look out for as they took Yongguk's the day they went down to the market.

It hasn't been a lie when Youngjae said that he wanted to spend some time alone with Daehyun, after all he thought they were a little bit more than friends already but it was so difficult to express that now that he was here, in the city Daehyun lived in and he really didn't know what to do anymore.

He liked Daehyun, that was for sure but how do you tell the person you've been flirting with for months that you actually really, really like them? Youngjae didn't like to embarrass himself in front of the person he crushed on and if Daehyun didn't reciprocated his feelings he could just take his luggage and leave for Seoul again. But he wasn't going to catastrophize right now, this was just worst case scenario and what was the actual possibility of that occuring. Youngjae took a deep breath as he slumped against his suitcase, his eyes cast downward as the sounds of the street buzzed in his ears until a smooth voice greeted him.

"Hey." Daehyun smiled, looking as handsome as ever even if he was only wearing a pair of washed out jeans and a jacket to top off his simple t shirt look. Youngjae felt his heart beat quicken and he quickly stood up from where he was leaning onto his suitcase.

"Hi, you're here." He said, copying Daehyun's genuine smile as the older slowly took the handle of his luggage and gestured Youngjae to follow him.

"Yeah, I had a little trouble finding the hotel since it's so in the heart of the city but I managed." Daehyun dragged the rather heavy suitcase behind him as he walked with Youngjae to his car, suddenly turning around as if missing something, or someone. "Where is Himchan by the way?"

"Didn't Yongguk hyung tell you?" Youngjae asked as he was confused to why the older of the two hadn't told him yet, maybe it has been on such short notice that he hasn't been able to yet, or maybe Daehyun just hadn't checked his phone after all.

"What didn't he tell me?" Daehyun asked and genuinely didn't seem to know about the fashion event and the reasons why Himchan needed to stay at Yongguk's place.

"That he would pick Himchan up so that they can comfortably go to some fashion event a little outside of Busan. He's gonna sleep at Yongguk's place until Monday cause the event is stretched out over two days." Youngjae said, looking up at Daehyun who didn't seem to catch his eyes.

"Oh, no, Yongguk didn't tell me." Daehyun quietly said as he turned at a corner and stopped for a moment to search his pockets for his car keys. "You're fine with it though, right? I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"I'm fine with it, it's always been a dream for Himchan to go to one of these events since they don't happen that often and usually aren't in Seoul, so I don't want to be like, the bad friend and tell him not to go." By now Youngjae knew he was rambling but he couldn't really avoid it, he had always been somewhat awkward when it came to things like these, sleeping over at someone's place when that someone wasn't just an ordinary friend to him.

Daehyun situated Youngjae's suitcase in the back of his car and motioned Youngjae to get in the car. "I meant if you're fine with staying at my place even if it's just us." Daehyun said, a small grin gracing his thick lips and Youngjae could feel the way his cheeks heated up in a matter of a few seconds.

"Why shouldn't I be okay with that?" He choked out, gripping the unforgivable tight fabric of his jeans as he looked straight ahead, not able to make eye contact with Daehyun at the moment.

"Who knows." Daehyun just kept grinning and taking side glances as he drove them to his apartment, amused by how adorable Youngjae was acting at the thought of the two of them sleeping in the same flat.

As the roads grew more narrow, a soft pitter patter of raindrops hitting the windshield rang through the comfortable silence which had settled in the car, Youngjae's eyes were strangely set on Daehyun's hands which were gripping the steering wheel tightly yet in a relaxed manner it seemed as if Daehyun was in his own world somehow.

Youngjae enjoyed the look on Daehyun's face which was tracing his handsome features, his eyes were harsh and focused and his lips pursed together into a small pout as he tried to make his way through the late morning traffic. There was no denying it, the warmth he felt when he was with Daehyun was so familiar it frightened Youngjae yet he wanted more and couldn't get enough of it.

He'd stopped feeling this way a long time ago and it was so very welcomed that just the thought of holding Daehyun's hand in a romantic fashion was making him all giddy and excited. So it was kind of nice that he and Daehyun would have more alone time for the next two days, even if Youngjae didn't know what to expect but there was a feeling in his guts that Daehyun liked him too.

 

 

"I hope you can be as comfortable here as you are at your's and Himchan's place, but I tend to be a little messy, so-" Daehyun trailed off as he opened the apartment door, leading Youngjae into the flat he's been sharing with Junhong for quite a while now.

"Don't worry, you haven't been living with Himchan for years, that man decided ages ago that the entire flat his is office." Youngjae smiled, looking around the living area which was connected to an open kitchen, a counter much like the ones at a bar separating the living from it. "I mean, sometimes there are so many clothes strewn around the floor I can hardly get myself coffee in the morning."

"At least Himchan doesn't like to dance at two in the morning." Daehyun said, turning around as he grabbed Youngjae's luggage from his hand. "But to your advantage, Junhong isn't here for the week." The words sounded so clear ringing in his ears and Youngjae knew immediately what they were implying, inflicting a subtle blush to rise on his cheeks.

"Where did he go?" Youngjae asked as Daehyun led him to his room apparently.

"His cousin, Shinhye. You're going to meet her on, I think Wednesday, since she said she'll have time that evening." Daehyun said, as he opened the door to Junhong's room which seemed way cleaner than it ever did in the time they've lived here.

"Oh, okay. Are you friends with her or is she just going to tag along?"

"She's my best friend, kind of. We never really were able to go our separate ways after my first week in college." Daehyun hummed, placing the younger boy's suitcase next to the bed before he turned to face Youngjae. "I really hope you're going to like her, I think I told her a little bit too much about you."

Daehyun shyly scratched the back of his neck seeing the way Youngjae stood there in between the doorframe, his sweater paws fiddling with the strings on his hoodie in slight embarrassment.

And there it was again, the soft warmth encircling his entire being, as if looking into Daehyun's eyes turned the colder months into summer. In some way Daehyun was like the moon to Youngjae; a source of comfort and beauty he could see but not touch, not yet at least. And Youngjae really, really wanted to change that.

 

"So, Junhong and Jongup wanted to go sightseeing today but I don't know if that's alright now that Himchan won't be here until Monday." Daehyun said as the two of them settled down on the couch, Youngjae with his small hands clutching onto his knees as Daehyun's thigh pressed softly against his, the space in between Daehyun's legs big enough to fit Youngjae, he could easily just go down onto his knees right now and-

Youngjae gulped, he hadn't caught what Daehyun had just said and this was honestly not what he was intending to think about, knowing that they were not this far in their relationship, what relationship exactly, Youngjae was still trying to figure out.

"- so I guess they'd like to stick to their plan, since Junhong worked really hard on that. Youngjae?"

"Yeah, that's fine, let's stick to what Junhong said." Youngjae had only grasped the last bit of what Daehyun had said and he could feel the look Daehyun was giving him but Youngjae didn't dare to look at the older, his face was so hot and Daehyun would definitely notice the way the subtle pink blush blanketed his cheeks. It was almost as if Daehyun's intention was to make him blush.

And Daehyun knew that Youngjae hadn't been listening, there was no way of telling what he had been thinking about but Daehyun found it rather amusing if not utterly endearing. He'd seen Youngjae blush a dozen of times already but Daehyun never grew tired of it, the rosy cheeks and the way Youngjae avoided looking at him at those times was most likely Daehyun's favorite thing.

"Okay, do you want me to help you unpack before we go and head out?"

Youngjae shook his head and disappeared into Junhong's room.

 

 

The rain had stopped a while ago but the sky didn't seem to let up, gray dusted over the little specks of baby blue and dark clouds seemed to loom over the usually bright city. Despite the gloomy weather, Junhong was skipping around, telling stories that came to his mind about every place they went to. Youngjae enjoyed the company, even if Himchan wasn't around at the moment, Junhong's stories and Jongup's witty side comments lightened the atmosphere drastically and the way Daehyun's hand brushed against his from time to time delivered warmth to Youngjae in more than one way.

As the evening approached, the four of them decided to get some dinner at one of Junhong's favorite restaurants, as he declared. Conversation flowed easily and before Youngjae could realize, their food was gone and rain was pouring outside.

"I think Youngjae and me are gonna leave before the rain gets too heavy." Daehyun announced as the clock ten.

A mumble of collective 'okay's filled the warm air and in a matter of minutes Youngjae felt Daehyun's hand holding his as they ran to catch the arriving tram, their hair already wet and raindrops heavily falling down onto their shoulders. The sky was a deep dark blue and Youngjae could see the puffs of air which left his lips as they finally halted, Daehyun's hand still grasping onto his in a tight hold.

It may be a little too much to say this already but this was what Youngjae missed in life, an unintelligible longing has been filling his lungs like a swarm of butterflies which flew higher and higher until his throat was drawn close and he couldn't breathe anymore, Daehyun was the one releasing every single butterfly with his wide smile and the warmth of his hand in this cold blue, blue, night.

The two of them tripped into Daehyun's apartment, giggling heavily and slightly more tipsy than either of them had expected to be. Youngjae inhaled deeply as he followed Daehyun into the bathroom, their fingers still interlocked and silly grins lining their cold lips, silver lining their clothes as water droplets puddled together on the bathroom tiles. Daehyun closed the door behind the two of them and flicked on the blue tinted light, a sliver running across the mirror as Youngjae caught the reflection of him and Daehyun for the smithereens of a second.

Daehyun quickly grabbed a few towels and sat down on the small edge of his bathtub, pulling Youngjae down with him by his wrist, having the boy so close one could almost say Youngjae was half sitting in Daehyun's lap.

Daehyun grinned, his lips slightly curling up on one side as he eyed Youngjae's flushed red face, his hair falling heavily over his forehead, lightly covering Youngjae's shy eyes as the boy wasn't able to hold Daehyun's stare. The older was still holding onto his wrist, warmth spreading through both of them even as they were drenched from head to toe, silently sitting in the small space of the bathroom, both of their faces drowned in the soft blue light.

"Hey." Daehyun's voice was mellow, low in its tone and soothing to the ears, Youngjae couldn't help but look up to see Daehyun still looking at him, but this time with a genuine smile and rosy cheeks which was most likely from the little bit of alcohol they had consumed during their dinner. "Want me to dry your hair?"

His heart was beating so undeniably fast and Youngjae wasn't sure if he ever gave Daehyun a proper response but Daehyun moved in closer, incredibly close now, and gently placed the towel over Youngjae's head, lovingly towel drying Youngjae's dark mob of hair.

Without another word Daehyun continued on, never breaking the intense yet so, so familiar gaze Youngjae was holding. The younger boy's eyes were a little droopy already, Daehyun noticed, and as time moved on Youngjae slowly went to rest his head against Daehyun's chest, his fists clinging into the flimsy material of Daehyun's button down. A sweet sigh left Youngjae's plush, red lips and Daehyun decided to bring the boy to bed.

However, as he was standing in front of the door leading to Junhong's room, Daehyun found his heart clenching at the thought of having to sleep alone yet another night although Youngjae was right there, on the other side of his bedroom wall. He'd longed for Youngjae to just lie next to him and his cheek for too long already.

Daehyun closed the door with a quiet thud and walked over to his own bed, tenderly lying Youngjae down on his mattress before he removed his own slightly dried jeans and button down, slipping an old shirt on. His eyes drifted over to where Youngjae was lying, his eyes were closed, lashes fluttering just above his cheeks and his lips were in the smallest pout as he softly breathed. With a heavy heart and cautious steps Daehyun approached Youngjae, taking in the sight of the sleeping boy and it felt so right, this situation felt so right, Daehyun could physically feel the tug of his heartstrings.

He shakily started pulling Youngjae's shirt up his chest, smooth skin being revealed with every centimeter uncovered, an added flush appearing on Daehyun's cheeks. He tried to look anywhere else than Youngjae's thighs, his crotch, as he slowly stripped the boy of his jeans. Quickly rushing to find Youngjae a clean shirt and a nice pair of shorts, Daehyun sighed in relief as he tucked Youngjae in, ignoring the pounding of his heart and the heavy rain outside.

With a heavy thudding in his chest, Daehyun climbed into bed next to Youngjae, facing the beautiful sleeping boy.

He knew it was way too early for this, but he wished he had the guts to confess.

 

Sunday morning was soft touches and heavy eyes, Youngjae barely was able to open his but a heavy arm draped around his lower waist was drawing his attention. A few seconds of progressing the harsh sunlight streaming in from in between the small gaps of the blinds, Youngjae turned slightly before fully facing Daehyun who was hugging him tightly in his sleep, his breathing was slow and gentle and Youngjae swore that he could spend forever like this.

But he knew that their time for now was limited and that they shouldn't be wasting a single second before Youngjae had to fly back to Seoul in a week, and it felt like the last week had only been a dream so far. Youngjae didn't want to regret his time and waste it asleep, even if sleeping in between Daehyun's arms felt like a safe haven.

He softly tried to grab Daehyun's arm but the older just tightened his hold on Youngjae's waist and moved closer, his eyes squeezing indicating that he was awake yet refusing to let Youngjae go that easily.

"Daehyun." Youngjae moved closer to Daehyun, faintly blowing warm air on his cheek as he was trying to annoy Daehyun. "Wake up."

Daehyun slowly opened his eyes, bothered by Youngjae's actions and the blaring sunlight coming from outside.

"Hey." Daehyun murmured, still sleepy but having Youngjae by his side like that was everything he has been dreaming about.

"Hi." Youngjae whispered, scared he'd ruin the moment they were having as they were looking into each other's eyes, their breaths even and their heartbeats aligned.

"Mhh, why didn't you wake me up earlier?" Daehyun asked, now snuggling into the dip in between Youngjae's shoulder and neck, fully aware that what he was doing was full of risk since neither of them  had stated clearly what their feelings were. There was something going on, Daehyun wasn't stupid, he saw the way Youngjae looked at him and how he was constantly blushing, but there still was this kind of uncertainty which hurt to admit existed.

"I tried, but you wouldn't even move." Youngjae's fingers glided slowly through Daehyun's hair as he answered, his heart fluttering inside his chest when Daehyun raised his head to look at him with those sleepy eyes. "Sleepyhead."

With that Youngjae got up with his cheeks all peachy red and pink to go to Junhong's room to get ready to take a shower.

 

"Seriously..." Daehyun let himself fall back onto his back, lips stretched into a large smile and he could feel the butterflies inside of his stomach going crazy. He really didn't deserve someone like Youngjae, someone so kind and soft spoken, the younger boy was too pure for anything.

 

 

 

"I don't usually get coffee outside of my apartment but Shinhye loves it here and she told me to bring you." Daehyun said, leading Youngjae to a table for two in a small Cafe where Shinhye always gets her coffee from. It was warm inside, much warmer than the cold, icy air outside on the streets and Youngjae was happy that they were finally getting coffee, the boy usually used to one cup before he leaves the house and one cup to go before going to his lectures.

"It's really nice here." Youngjae stated, looking around as he sat down on one of the white wooden chairs, creme colored pillows on most of them and on the few little benches which had hand made blankets spread out on them. "But Shinhye told you to bring me here?"

"Yeah, I mean she obviously knows you're here right now and she's been bothering me via text the whole week actually." Daehyun said, ducking his head a little bit with a soft, bright blush on his cheeks.

"That's actually really sweet of her."

"It's not, she's aksing me how you're doing all the time and like asking me what I have planned and she's so worried that you won't have fun", Daehyun sighed, remembering the many, many texts Shinhye had sent him," and like I have to reassure her that yeah, you're fine. Wait- you are having a nice time here, or am I failing miserably?"

"Yeah, totally hate this cute as Cafe, totally hate spending my Sunday morning here with you, alone."

Daehyun was sure by now that Youngjae was flirting with him and, to be very honest, it was hot. Like, it shouldn't actually be that hot but it was and for a short moment Daehyun was speechless. How often does it actually happen that you and the person you like start fake bantering, like that is cute and Daehyun needs to get his life together. "Mh I bet, it's not like I've been waiting to do this for months now." Daehyun blurted out, looking at how Youngjae's face lit up and even though he didn't say anything Daehyun knew that he was thinking and wanting the same thing. "So, what do you wanna get for breakfast?"

 

 

Youngjae had been a little suspicious when Daehyun suggested to go grocery shopping since he's never heard the older talk about cooking in general. Youngjae had always thought that Daehyun probably relied on Shinhye when it came to actual home made meals, Daehyun most likely only knew how to make a really good cheesecake but since he didn't want to gain weight, despite being a full on gluten, he'd stopped eating the delicious treat every time he got the chance to. So when Daehyun asked him what his all time favorite dish was (he sort of knew already) Youngjae was surprised and gladly tagged along to get the needed ingredients.

"So we still need onions, lettuce, pork belly and I think we're running out of sugar." Daehyun said as he looked down on his phone where he'd written down everything that was still missing in their kitchen.

"Okay, lead the way I'm just gonna trail behind you." Youngjae smiled, thinking it was cute the way Daehyun was so sure of what he needed for spicy stir fried pork. Youngjae had suggested they make some soup and Thai fried rice as side dishes since they could easily use one of the fish they bought for the marinade. "By the way, I didn't know you cook?"

Daehyun looked behind his shoulder as he was trying to choose between two differently packed onions. "Really? I've never told you?"

"You didn't, until earlier I thought Shinhye had to bring you packed lunch boxes to your lectures every day cause you didn't strike me as a person who cooks."

"Man, I'm hurt? I'm a way better cook than Shinhye ever will be." Daehyun laughed, finally picking the more expensive pack of onions before he turned to Youngjae. "I swear to you this is going to be the greatest meal you've ever had. I've been cooking with my mom since I was six."

Youngjae had to smile at the mental image, a small Daehyun standing next to his mother and struggling to look over the counter was pretty damn cute. "I bet you were a sweet child."

Daehyun slowly pushed their shopping cart, waiting for Youngjae to walk next to him. "My mom would say otherwise, I bet she'd enjoy making fun of me, showing you embarrassing pictures of baby me." A soft smile was gracing his lips, it wasn't necessarily the thought of his childhood and the memories he's made with his mother but rather Youngjae showing interest in him still and asking about his life.

Daehyun had honestly been a little afraid of them being awkward since last night didn't really go as expected. He had a feeling Youngjae liked him, the same way he liked Youngjae but it was just so hard to tell and he was afraid to ask because it has only been one week since they've met for the first time even thought they've been spending nearly all of their free time together. Daehyun was still scared that his feelings would overwhelm Youngjae.

"I'd like to see that." Youngjae gently nudged Daehyun's arm as he looked up at him, his eyes soft and his cheeks adorably pink. Daehyun could really get used to this.

"Would you now." Daehyun laughed and went on to the refrigerated section to have Youngjae choose their meat.

"I would, obviously. Okay, do you recommend anything?" Youngjae asked as he was looking at the packed meat in front of them.

"This is about you, you know, just get what you want." Daehyun said, leaning onto the shopping cart with his upper body as he was mustering Youngjae. It was strange to feel so content with a person he just met for the first time, Youngjae's soft spoken, sarcastic and sweet self had drawn him in and Daehyun had a very hard time getting a grip of his own feelings.

"Oh is it? You won't mind me choosing the luxury meat which most likely costs more than ten cartons of Capri Sun?" Youngjae laughed loudly as he took out one of the unseasoned, raw pork belly put in a plastic box.

"Junhong is going to suffer, not me." Daehyun joked, having Youngjae hand over he meat to him and placing it in their cart.

Youngjae smiled, he felt Daehyun's fingers brushing against his and wished he had the guts to hold his hand as they're walking through the grocery store together.

 

Daehyun quickly grabbed a few packs of sugar before paying for their groceries and leading Youngjae outside of the store. "So, I have a feeling that it's Himchan who cooks most of the time." Daehyun said after they were walking next to the other in comfortable silence for a while, a sly grin was slowly appearing on his lips as he looked at Youngjae.

"I mean, I'm a busy person. Himchan has way more free time than me." Youngjae said, trying to defend himself because he really wouldn't have the time to cook healthy meals for two people every day. "I do help him?"

"Of course you do," Daehyun's grin grew wider and he turned his head to face the sidewalk again, "Himchan wouldn't accept you just standing there looking pretty, would he."

That definitely wasn't a question and Daehyun had made it painfully obvious so that Youngjae was at a loss of words and just looked at Daehyun's face, that smug grin plastered all over it but there was a slight blush down his neck and Youngjae understood.

Daehyun was just as nervous about this as he was.

They didn't have to take this slow but they didn't have to rush things either and as long as they felt comfortable with it why would they not flirt with the other, it was clear to Youngjae that Daehyun was interested in him, it had been clear since their first Skype call where the older boy had been a complete mess, Junhong was sitting with him but not in an angle so that the camera would catch him, so that he could give his flatmate a little bit of mental support (Youngjae did hear him whisper yelling at Daehyun to stop being a though).

They arrived at the apartment and Daehyun quickly got everything out that they needed, so that Youngjae didn't have to awkwardly search for knives or a pan. As all their ingredients were set out on the counter, ready to be measured and put into bowls because Daehyun liked to keep his kitchen clean, the older of the two boys quickly went to one of the shelves which were right next to the kitchen and Youngjae saw him getting some sort of bundled up fabric, Daehyun pressed it close to his chest and walked towards Youngjae. Stopping right in front of him with a smile which made Youngjae question him.

"What?"

"Well, we can't cook without aprons on. So I got us these." Daehyun extended his arms and let the fabric unfold until Youngjae could recognize a white and a baby blue apron with polka dots in a rosy red all over. "The white one is mine, and the blue one actually belongs to Junhong but it's too small for him so he never wears it." Daehyun explained, setting the white apron over the back of one of the chairs by the dinner table.

"You want me to wear it?" Youngjae asked, looking at the debatable color of the apron Daehyun was currently holding in his hands.

"Yeah, so come here." Daehyun quickly stepped forward, closer to Youngjae and slipped the apron over the younger boy's neck. "Lift your arms a little."

Youngjae pouted, feeling Daehyun's warm body so close to him shouldn't make him feel any sort of warm and fuzzy inside after they shared a bed for the night. "What for?"

"For safety."

Youngjae reluctantly lifted his arms a little, letting Daehyun encircle his waist with his arms as he tied the apron behind his back. "Wouldn't it have been easier if I turned around?" Youngjae asked quietly, looking down at the floor as he could feel Daehyun's breath brushing over his nose, his chest was pressed to his and it felt oh so intimate, Youngjae had to take a moment to close his eyes.

"Yeah."

After finishing tying the bow behind Youngjae's back, with some difficulties, Daehyun really hadn't thought this through, Youngjae felt Daehyun leaving his personal space and he looked up to see him with a look in his eyes, something so soft and gentle Youngjae was afraid to break the silence. He was glad he didn't have to.

"Can you set the table for us? If you're done you can help me measure everything and cut the meat." Daehyun said and smiled warmly at him, gulping swiftly as he felt a lump form in his throat. Why did he suddenly feel the heaviness of his actions weigh down on them, Daehyun sensed the way Youngjae's eyes flickered down from his own, to his nose, his lips, his chin. And it was so difficult to just go back to the meat lying on the counter right now but this wasn't the right time. Daehyun wanted it to be perfect.

"Yeah, I can do that." Youngjae gave Daehyun a small smile back and quickly turned to the dinner table, getting everything they needed and setting it out nicely.

"Youngjae, come here." Daehyun said when he saw Youngjae leaning onto the dinner table, watching him with a sweet glimmer in his eyes. Youngjae quickly took Daehyun's outstretched hand and stepped forward, listening to every step Daehyun explained to him. He could really get used to this.

 

After having a very satisfying lunch together, Youngjae suggested Daehyun to just sit down and rest for a while and as their small talk faded Daehyun quietly got up and went to his and Junhong's movie collection, quickly grabbing a DVD and throwing the remote at Youngjae with a laugh escaping his lungs heartily.

Youngjae looked at the TV when the Screen flickered up and a groan left his throat as he saw the title of the movie. "A romcom, Daehyun, really?"

"Shut up, it's a classic." Daehyun sat down next to Youngjae again, taking a glance over at him and instantly feeling the warmth radiating through his body, his heart beating faster and he wished this was how all his Sundays would look like from now on. He grabbed one of the blankets pooling over the edge of the sofa and laid it out over both of their laps, looking at the television with a bright smile without really paying attention to the movie.

It was during their third romantic comedy when Daehyun could feel Youngjae's head lulling to the side and onto his shoulder. The boy had his eyes shut closely and his lids were fluttering a little, in a second Youngjae had his body turned towards Daehyun and fully leaned onto him, having Daehyun stare in awe at him cuddling closer in his sleep. Youngjae's hand had come up to his chest, holding onto him as a soft little sigh escaped those plush cherry lips and despite wanting to cup Youngjae's cheeks to kiss them, Daehyun thought the younger boy was so endearing his heart might burst.

Daehyun hoped Youngjae would want to hold him like that during the night too.

And he did.

 

 

 

Youngjae didn't want to say that it was unfortunate that Himchan came back from his spontaneous weekend trip around noon on Monday because he was his best friend and Youngjae felt like he had to listen to him rambling on and on about the event he went to with Yongguk as they were sitting at the dinner table sipping on the cups of coffee Daehyun had quickly fixed for them.

It was somewhat uncomfortable because Youngjae had stayed the night in Daehyun's room again, not knowing when Himchan would exactly come back, just hoping that he would arrive after they've woken up but his hopes got crashed and burned, Himchan had said goodbye to Yongguk who had brought him to Daehyun's and Junhong's apartment and pointed out which room was Junhong's aka where he should be able to find Youngjae.

But Himchan hadn't seen him when he entered the room they were supposed to stay at, Youngjae's suitcase was there though so to Himchan there really only was one other place Youngjae could be at.

And that was how Youngjae heard uncertain knocks on Daehyun's bedroom door and he should have known better because Himchan had always been nosy and as he slowly opened his heavy eyes he already heard Himchan apologizing and hurriedly exiting the bedroom.

With a sigh, Youngjae looked over at Daehyun, the older one man still sleeping tightly and surely not bothered by the noise. It was cute, Youngjae had to admit, but now he had to leave the bed and seek out Himchan to explain the situation to avoid any misunderstandings, because Youngjae absolutely hated misunderstandings. With one last look at a sleeping Daehyun, his lips slightly opened and his breathing even but a little bit loud, Youngjae slowly removed his hand from Daehyun's chest and backed away, sleepily getting up from the bed and following Himchan out of the door.

"Hyung." Youngjae called out for Himchan who was on his way to their makeshift room. "Himchan hyung!"

Sometimes Himchan was just so annoying, and that not because he just barged in on Youngjae and Daehyun peacefully sleeping, no but because he would always try to avoid confrontation after he realized his timing was ed up, which just made it harder for Youngjae to try and talk it out.

"Youngjae, I'm sorry." Himchan said as soon as Youngjae closed the door behind himself. "I really didn't mean to barge in on you two but I didn't know where you were and you weren't here so I thought you'd be with Daehyun and I seriously didn't think when coming in." He was running his hands through his hair by now, averting his gaze from Youngjae who was only clad in a long sleeved shirt and a dark pair of boxers.

"Himchan, listen." Youngjae stepped closer, trying to get Himchan to pay attention to him. "Just, what did you think you interrupted?"

With those words Himchan finally looked up from his knees, shifting on the bed he'd sat down on as he was trying to get out an apology. "Well, I mean, you two were- well."

"We were what?" Youngjae digged further, a little smile forming on his lips because he knew that Himchan didn't even know himself what he had interrupted.

"You were, you know, like, cuddling?"

"Yeah, and that's all it was, hyung." Youngjae said, frowning at the dumbfounded expression the older of the two was making. "Cuddling was the most we were doing while you were gone."

Youngjae could literally see the moment Himchan realized the situation they were in now and that he'd been thinking all wrong the entire time, his eyes widened for a second and his hands relaxed from their cramped position on his knees before he let out an audible sigh.

"So you haven't done anything, he hasn't even kissed you?" Now curious, Himchan finally returned to his usual self, nosy and with no shame.

Youngjae sighed, and shook his head. "No, he hasn't kissed me, nor have I. We just met, hyung, I don't want to rush whatever this is."

"I get it, and I think that's a good idea." Himchan said, genuinely smiling at Youngjae. "Okay let's not lock ourselves in this room, I want to tell you about the event."

 

So now the three of them were sitting at Daehyun's dinner table, each of them a cup of coffee in their hand and Youngjae didn't dare to look Daehyun in the eyes, somewhat embarrassed as he felt the intense stare directed at him.

Daehyun thought it was cute, he knew that Youngjae was embarrassed that Himchan had seen them sleeping next to each other, the walls between his and Junhong's room weren't all that thick and it was easy to understand every word being exchanged on the other side of the wall. Daehyun thought it was kind of funny that Himchan had sounded so stunned that he hasn't kissed Youngjae yet.

He would absolutely love to but there was a time and place for that in the future. Of course he could have tried as they were cuddling before falling asleep but Daehyun had already thought of something that would make their first kiss a lot more memorable.

It was fun to see Youngjae being shy, it didn't happen that often since the boy was pretty confident and a little bit stubborn so Daehyun took the opportunity to look a little longer at Youngjae's cheeks, all red and probably warm to the touch. Daehyun honestly wasn't that interested in what Himchan was talking about right now, Yongguk often went to events like that be it actually out of self interest or because he wanted to impress some girl. Youngjae's pretty face was way more interesting and Daehyun was doubting that he would ever get tired of it.

He loved the way Youngjae would scrunch his nose up a little whenever he found something funny but not so much that he had to laugh, Youngjae had the habit of  blinking more rapidly than anyone else that Daehyun knew and it was adorable, he'd sometimes purse his lips, especially when he was listening closely to something someone else was saying. Daehyun liked the way Youngjae would sometimes bite down on his bottom lip, gentle sinking his teeth into the plush flesh without really noticing it.

There was nothing wrong with staring at the boy you liked, Daehyun figured, and it wasn't like Youngjae was oblivious to that. Daehyun was sure that Youngjae knew he was pursuing something else than just friendship, he'd made that clear several times now and Youngjae was intelligent and observant enough to understand that. 

By now it was a silent mutual understanding that they would use the time they had to get to know each other on a more personal level, to have the other close and explore what they were comfortable doing with the other. And that was enough, Daehyun hadn't expected of them to immediately cling to each other nor had he expected Youngjae would be easy to pursue.

But he had the patience, to accompany Youngjae to his fan events and to spend time together as friends or maybe a little bit more than that. He liked that they were taking this slow, or that they weren't rushing things, it felt comfortable to go out together and not have the pressure of calling it a date weighing down onto their shoulders. And as long as Youngjae wanted to spend time together with him, Daehyun was fine whatever it was.

Youngjae made him feel comfortable, he always brought a gentle warmth with him which had Daehyun melting with every word leaving Youngjae's pink lips.

 

 

 

 

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tell me what you guys thought (◕ᴥ◕)

FORGIVE ME  (◕ﬦ ◕✿) And I believe the next update will be the last, I'll also put all of the chapters in 1 single chapter at the end (as this is a oneshot ummm.... is it still?)