Sitting far apart on the couch was something they did for the past few months. 

A few words exchanged and they would not count it as a conversation.

 

Not the conversation that use to have.

 

“Do you think its ok?”

Yoongi turned to look at Seokjin, asking.

 

Seokjin had his eyes glued on the television. He remained silent and looked as if he was focus on what ever it was showing on the television. 

 

He was not.

 

And Yoongi knew that too. Seokjin was running away from the reality ever since a few months back. Since the day Yoongi admitted that the feelings were gone. Deep down, he knew that Seokjin did not love him as much as he use to.

 

The feelings changed into more like kinship instead. Seokjin had become his family. Yoongi tried a lot of was to rekindle the sparks in between them.

 

It was hard.

He tried.

 

“Jin….”

 

“Yoongi, it’s fine.”

Seokjin looked down at his fingers.

“It’s fine. “

 

Seokjin felt empty inside. He already knew that they were not in love as they use to be.

He felt the same way as how Yoongi felt between them.

 

He….

 

 

He was just sad.

 

Sad for themselves.

 

 

He missed those days, when they were full of love. They really loved each other very much. Stealing short glances, kisses, holding on hands beneath the tables.

 

Everything.

 

He missed everything.

 

“Yoongi, we…I don’t know….”

Seokjin was close to tears. He really did not bear to let this relationship go.

 

But he was not in love with Yoongi anymore. The feelings were not there anymore. It…..it just wear off as the time goes by.

 

They were occupied with their jobs, despite living together after they graduated. There was no third party involved.

Their times spent together just getting shorter and shorter.

 

They tried.

 

 

Really.

 

 

They tried.

 

 

 

• -

 

 

Their friends knew about it. It was not a secret. They shared mutual friends and hang out often during weekends.

 

The funniest part was the times they spent together were mostly with the friends, instead of between themselves. They felt as if they were back as friends.

 

No ual desires, no any form of attraction present anymore. Their hands were kept to themselves all the times and it was so obvious that their friends knew about it too.

 

“Oh man, I … I don’t know what to say.”

Namjoon looked down at his cup, trying to think about any possible ways to help them. But he could not.

That was between Seokjin and Yoongi. As an outsider of their relationship, Namjoon could do nothing

 

Jimin and Taehyung looked crest fallen. As if mourning for the love that had come to an end. Jungkook looked uneasy too. It was hard for them to accept the fact that Seokjin and Yoongi were on the edge of the end.

 

The end of their relationship.

 

“We… We are technically still together.”

Seokjin smiled sadly, explaining to them.

“There is no need to look so sad about it.”

 

“But..”

Taehyung could not explain the sadness for them. He was close to tears.

 

 Namjoon had his hand around his boyfriend immediately.

“Taehyung ah….”

Taehyung leaned into Namjoon’s embrace.

 

“We’ll try.”

Yoongi said, smiling.  Hoseok gave Yoongi a small smile and a light pat on Yoongi’s shoulder.

 

Yoongi turned to give Seokjin a reassuring smile. He wanted to give themselves another try. 5 years were not long and yet no too short. He was pretty sure Seokjin would want to give it another try too.

 

 

• -

 

 

 

They were holding hands while walking back home from their regular meetups with their friends. It was not awkward at all.

 

It just…..felt nothing.

 

“Yoongi,”

Seokjin asked softly as they walked down the street.

“What….went wrong?”

 

Yoongi held onto Seokjin’s hand tighter.

“I wondered too….”

 

They remained silent through out their walk back home.  Entering the lift as usual, pressing the 11^th button as usual, waiting for the lift to reach the level as usual, walked towards the apartment as usual.

 

What went wrong?

 

“Yoongi.”

Seokjin called out as he stop before a few steps reaching the door. Yoongi came to a stop to as they were still holding onto each other’s hands.

“Should we give each other some space?”

 

Yoongi froze on the spot. That was the last choice he would ever do if everything failed. He could not believe those words came out from Seokjin’s mouth so easily.

“You… are you sure about it?”

 

Seokjin looked at Yoongi’s eyes. He could catch the pained expression that flashed across Yoongi’s face. He knew he had hurt Yoongi’s feelings.

“I don’t know…… I don’t know what to do anymore…”

 

“What if,”

Yoongi took a step closer to Seokjin.

“Just what if, we gave each other space, and the space in between us got us drift further apart?”

 

The thought of them not talking anymore was hard for Seokjin. Seokjin could not bear to leave Yoongi. But he knew that was not love.

 

 

What exactly is the definition of love?

 

Seokjin looked down at their hands, which were still holding onto each other.

“I’m sorry…”

 

Tears started welling up in Seokjin’s eyes. It was silly of him to make that suggestion. Did he think lightly of their relationship?

 

“Hey........ hey.”

Yoongi leaned forward and cupped Seokjin’s face, wiping away the tears with his thumbs.

“There’s no need for you to apologise. I know you’re just feeling lost…. like me too.”

 

Seokjin did not dare to look in his eyes. He almost lost the qualification to hold on to this relationship. The fear of losing Yoongi was too overwhelming for him.

 

“Let’s get in first. Alright?”

Yoongi said as he pulled Seokjin into the apartment.

He took off his shoes and headed in to the kitchen.

 

Seokjin took off his shoes slowly and followed Yoongi at the back. Once he reached the kitchen, he saw Yoongi sitting by the counter top, drinking a glass of water. He sat down on the seat opposite Yoongi, while Yoongi poured another glass of water to Seokjin.

 

All those might seem like some mundane acts, but Seokjin really appreciated that. It had been a while since they had done that. Coming home to that small talks over the counter tops, that homely gestures, all those he had missed so much.

 

Tears welled up in Seokjin’s eyes.  He buried his face in his palm and sobbed, for everything that he had missed dearly.

“Yoongi, I …. I don’t think I can do this.”

 

Yoongi reached out his hands to caress Seokjin’s arms.

“Jin….we can do this.”

 

Seokjin just sobbed. He wanted to take a break. Really. He felt suffocated and he had no idea why. All he knew that he was devastated for the loss of the love between them. He just needed a break.

 

A break.

 

 

He did not want to spent his time brooding over their relationship anymore.

“Yoongi. A break would be good. Better for us…”

 

Yoongi choked back his tears. Seokjin’s sobs punched through Yoongi’s lungs, he wished he could do something, to stop Seokjin from crying.

 

Why?

 

Why they have come to this situation?

 

“I don’t think we’ll drift apart.”

Seokjin looked up, with his tear stricken face. His eyes were red, tears kept flowing out from his lids.

“We… we can set a specific time frame…Just give me …just give me some time….”

 

Yoongi held back his tears. He did not dare to show Seokjin his vulnerability when seokjin himself was already vulnerable.  He pulled back his hands and placed them on his laps, clenching on the fabric of his jeans.

 

“O….Okay.”

Yoongi was choking on his words.

“I’m sorry that we've become like this.”