In spite of the enormous stretch of distance between him and his past life - the life he’d been pushed out of months ago after an incident he’d rather not remember - his feelings of guilt were still there, festering inside his heart and whispering to him at the back of his mind. He was never going to forget what he’d done. It seemed as if the universe wasn’t going to allow that to happen.

His backpack was heavy, laden with clean clothes, bottles of water and a few snacks for the journey. It weighed him down, much like his memories, and kept him from speeding up his gait even when it was beginning to get dark. He was alone in the middle of the wilderness, the heat of the summer already starting to become too much for him to handle even though he’d only been out there for a few hours. He could see his destination from where he stood as he leaned against a signpost, pausing his journey for a short while to allow himself to rest. “Warning: bears,” was written across the sign in bold white letters that stood out against the blood red behind them.

The surrounding scenery was surreal, like something out of a painting. A photographer’s dream, no doubt. Too bad Sehun had never been interested enough to even pick up a camera. The sun was starting to hide itself, its rays of light beginning to fade, and the sky was a beautiful mess of dark purple and burnt orange, illuminating the way to his destination for him in what otherwise would have been total darkness. Resuming his hike, he dug his heel into the ground and pushed off, following the path the sun’s dying rays lit up for him.

The trees either side of him, probably due to the eerie atmosphere of the wilderness, looked haunted, and the sound of the gentle breeze blowing through them only added to the unnerving ambiance. A shiver ran down his spine but still he pushed on, spurred on by the sight of the watchtower just a short distance away from him. The ropey-looking watchtower was his only shelter in the entirety of the nature reserve and was to be his home for the months to follow. It was a new start for him. He knew he’d have to go back once the summer was over unless he made other arrangements, but for the time being his plan was to push that out of his mind and focus on the here and now. Until the start of September he’d have a new job, a new home and hopefully someone to take his mind off the friend he’d left behind.

The rickety wooden steps leading up to the entrance of the watchtower looked unsafe and, as he found out whilst climbing them, a few of them were missing completely. The rest of it looked just as dilapidated as the steps, though the inside wasn’t so bad. At least he had a bed to sleep on, a fridge stocked with food, a desk to work at and a spectacular view (as well as an unfortunate-looking outhouse, no less run down than the rest of it).

The door was unlocked and needed no key to be opened, but Sehun wasn’t particularly bothered by that. After all, it wasn’t like there would likely be anybody else around except for the other rangers, and they were so far away they would probably never meet in person. Perching on the edge of the bed (and simultaneously mentally noting that the mattress was a bit too firm for his liking), he shrugged his rucksack off his shoulders and let it drop onto the bed before unpacking his clothes. There was a small chest of drawers next to the bed which he deposited his clothes into a moment prior to being startled by a sound coming from the walkie-talkie on the desk.

The voice coming through the receiver was too crackly at first for him to be able to decipher its message, but within a few seconds or so the crackles died down and he could make out the words “Hello?” and “Is anybody there?” and finally “Oh Sehun?” Picking up the radio, he spoke into it, making his presence known.

“Oh, I’m Luhan,” the voice on the other end told him. “I’m your supervisor, I guess. My boss told me you were coming.” He paused for a moment, probably expecting Sehun to reply, and continued when he didn’t. “So how was your hike up here? Not too tiring, I hope.” Sehun murmured something about being exhausted and finished it off with a yawn, unintentionally prompting his supervisor to hurry up the conversation. “Anyway, I’d better let you go to bed. Radio me in the morning when you wake up - or in the afternoon, as the case may be.”

After saying goodnight (and yawning again) Sehun set the radio back down on the desk and, without even bothering to change into his pyjamas, he slid into bed and pulled the thin blanket over his legs. But the humid air must have been too hot for him to cope with as at some point during the night he kicked the blanket off and woke up the next morning feeling cold and bitter. The window had been left open all night and, now that the heat of the sun had disappeared, he couldn’t help regretting the decision he couldn’t remember making.

He’d been up for over fifteen minutes before he remembered Luhan and decided to radio him as he’d been asked to do. His supervisor responded within no more than a second and Sehun was once again subjected to what he considered to be a copious amount of unnecessary human contact. Luhan seemed to have a strange obsession with small talk (though this wasn’t so surprising once Sehun found out he’d been working out there in the wilderness with no-one else to talk to except for a couple of other rangers for the last few years) as he was constantly asking how he was and telling him to have a good day.

“I’m sure you know all about your job, right?” Luhan asked, though Sehun suspected he was going to tell him about it anyway simply out of a burning need to socialise. And he was right. “It’s pretty simple. All you have to do is watch for fires, and if you spot anything (anything out of the ordinary, actually) tell me about it and I’ll report it to the higher-ups. They’re the ones who actually have to deal with it. Although you might have to hiking quite a bit… Sometimes I get calls in about suspicious activity here in the park, and you’re the one who has to go and sort that out now - or at least find out if something’s really going on.”

What sort of suspicious activity? Sehun wanted to ask, but he held his tongue for fear of starting another long and tiresome conversation. He scowled bitterly, scoffing at the sound of his supervisor piping up again.

“You don’t speak much, do you?” Luhan commented just as Sehun was beginning to think their conversation was over. “This job’s perfect for you then.” Sehun raised his eyebrow at him questioningly, though it wasn’t like Luhan was going to reply to body language he couldn’t even see. “So what brings you here? I mean, the other rangers I’ve spoken to came here to get away from something - myself included - and I don’t suppose you’d be any different.”

That was what finally got him to start properly engaging in conversation with him. “Look, umm… Luhan, I don’t really want to talk about it. If I did, I wouldn’t be here, would I? I’d be back home, where I’m supposed to be, sitting in a therapist’s office and telling them all about my problems. But I’m not… there. I’m here, talking to you.” It sounded a lot harsher than he’d meant it to, but Luhan still didn’t seem to take the hint.

“Hey Sehun,” Luhan said after a moment. “Look up.” At the time, Sehun was sitting on the chair behind the desk with his head bent over it, studying the woodgrain which he considered to be a lot more interesting than the conversation at hand. Looking up as he was instructed, his eyes naturally gravitated towards the window in front of him. Directly ahead of him was another lookout station. One of the windows of that lookout station was facing his so that he could see right into it once he picked up the binoculars from the other end of the desk and held them up to his eyes. A figure was waving to him. “You can see me, right?” Luhan asked, sounding just as excited as the figure looked. Sehun nodded automatically, then started to answer verbally, but then Luhan cut him off and told him he saw his nod his head.

The lookout must have been quite far away because even with the binoculars, he still couldn’t see Luhan very clearly - just a small figure with a mess of honey-golden hair atop his head, waving frantically at him as if they were old friends who hadn’t met in years.

That thought made him pause for a moment. Why was he there? Why was he there and not back home where needed to be? Why was he there talking to a stranger and not back home with his best friend of twelve years, comforting him when he needed it most? The answer was simple.

Because he was a coward.

Because he’d rather be there, surrounded in the surrealism of the dream-like wilderness, than be back home where he was needed.