Karma
A Foreigner in Danger“I love you too much for my own good.”
“I’m not leaving you. I have and will always love you, but for now, give me some time.”
“If you want to mess with other guys, use this break as a chance to. But just come back to me afterwards.”
“You mean the universe to me. You are my world, you are my dream. But eyes don’t lie, Song Jasmine. Whatever the case may be, he should never have even been so close to you.”
“Song Jasmine!”
I jerked open my eyes as Mr Wang was staring at me from the front of the citizenship class.
Everyone turned to me.
“Present,” I lethargically replied, my head still in my arms.
The class laughed.
“Yes, we already established that you were present. I was asking the class about individual experiences last week. How was yours and Jimin’s experience?”
I didn’t get any sleep whatsoever last night, the words Taehyung hurled at me constantly replayed in my mind over and over again.
All night I was scared of falling asleep in case I had to re live the moment when he walked away.
All sorts of thoughts were flooding my mind as I tossed and turned; forcefully closing my eyes just to wrench them open again playing out another way in which I could’ve handled the situation.
After he left, Aunt Jeong and Mum came running out asking what all the commotion was. I ignored them and went straight to bed and ended up just lying there, staying awake until 6am.
When I looked in the mirror, the morning sun was shining off the necklace he gave me and I ripped it off and threw it on the floor.
I trudged out of my room and watched TV for an hour. Then I washed my face about four times to feel and look refreshed, but it was of no use, my whole face was bloated.
It was the first time I’d cried over anyone before and my eyes were swollen. I tried to cover the bags with concealer, but how can anyone possibly conceal their feelings?
The class was now awaiting my response as I slowly lifted my head up.
Jimin was sitting next to me, but hadn’t said a word and I was glad because I wasn’t in the mood to talk.
Taehyung hadn’t come to class. Good, I hope he never comes back.
“Yeah it was fine,” was all I managed to say.
“Where did you go?” Mr Wang was deliberately trying to get me to speak.
“Orphanage,” I sharply replied.
Mr Wang raised an eyebrow, “And what did you do exactly? Song Jasmine, these small replies of yours won’t be of any help to anyone in trying to understand.”
I brushed my untamed hair back impatiently, “Well that’s all I have to say. You are free to ask Jimin as well, you can see I don’t want to speak.”
Damn, I was taking my inbuilt anger out on Mr Wang.
I sensed Jimin turn to me in shock as the class started sniggering and coughing awkwardly. I didn’t mean to be rude to Mr Wang; he was one of the laid back teachers that I’d really grown to like. Today, he had blue highlights in his hair and he looked so cool.
He fixed his white framed glasses and sighed, “I think you need to get some fresh air. Come back when you’ve learnt the manners I know you have.”
I tucked my chair in and looked straight ahead whilst walking past the class and straight out of the door.
I sighed and slid down on the floor, in a small gap between two rows of lockers. I’d never been sent out of class from my own behaviour, it was always Taehyung who’d drag me in trouble with him.
Urgh, everything I do has a relation with him!
I pulled my headphones out of my blazer pocket and decided to listen to music which I knew would calm me down a little.
Just then, I heard the corridor door fling open.
I peeked out of my small gap to see who it was, and Kim Taehyung had come through, head down with his hands in his pockets.
I quickly tucked myself back in the gap, my heart was thumping and my fists automatically clenched.
When he approached to where I was sitting, he momentarily stopped.
I had already put my head in my arms and my wavy brown hair fell down to cover my face so I couldn’t see his expression or appearance which was a good thing.
After about five seconds, he walked past me straight into citizenship as I heard the door slam behind him.
No way was I going to go back in there.
Oh damn, my bag. I’d have to collect it after class was over, but that wasn’t for another hour and a half!
Every Monday was now dedicated to citizenship, so we could either do our paired project outside and log it in our diaries or stay in school to do the written part of it.
Either way, we’d have to report to reception our exact timings and whereabouts to avoid any truancy, which meant I couldn’t go back home until much later on.
Some time went by as I sat in the same position trying to catch up on sleep, when someone tapped me on my shoulder.
I took my headphones out and saw it was Jimin.
“Mr Wang says you can come back now,” he said, without looking at me.
This was the first thing he’d said all morning.
“Do I have to?” I asked plainly.
Jimin looked at me in shock again.
“Yes,” he replied as I put my headphones back into my pocket.
I nodded and tried to get up, but slid back down as my body was physically drained from no sleep.
“Do you need help?” Jimin quickly offered, still not looking at me.
“Aniyo, it’s okay,” I said shaking my head, but I still couldn’t get up.
Jimin put his hands on my shoulders and gently helped me get up as I winced in pain. As soon as I got up, he moved far back from me.
“You okay?” He quickly asked again.
I nodded and walked over to the door.
Just before I was about to go in, Jimin called out to me from behind.
“If you don’t want to go back, I’ll get your bag for you and say you’ve gone to the nurse.”
I turned to him and tried to smile, “Thanks Jimin.”
He looked on the floor and quickly nodded his head, returning a half smile.
“Time heals all wounds,” he advised me before he went inside the class and told Mr Wang where I was.
I waited outside for my bag and sure enough, Jimin came back out holding my satchel.
“Thank you Jimin, this means a lot. Sorry if I’ve been really cold this morning,” I gratefully took my bag from him.
“It’s alright, we all have bad days. If you want to talk about it, I’m always here,” he replied, forcing a smile.
“I know you are and you always have been. It’s just me who’s been selfish and never asked you about your feelings,” I said, remembering what happened to him after the talent show.
“Jimin, what happened to you after the show? Have you rested and eaten properly?” I worriedly asked.
He brushed his hair back and fiddled with his tie before finally looking up at me.
“Nothing, I just felt dizzy. I need to go back into class now, see you later.”
Jimin turned and walked back into class as I flung my bag on my back, heading over to the library.
The library was always a nice place to go to when I felt alone or just needed to concentrate. As everyone was in class, the computers were already free, so I found a corner one near the window and turned it on as I rested my head on the desk.
The warm sunshine beaming through the window as well as the silence in the library with the occasional typing of keyboards made me feel drowsy.
I must’ve fallen asleep because I woke up to the break bell going off and the computers next to me had now been taken.
I had a new message from Krystal.
I’m not going to be in this whole week, I have some training to do. Please get my homework for me, love you xx
I sighed and texted her back saying I would.
Great.
First Taehyung was on a break with me and now my only girlfriend wasn’t even going to be here.
My life was getting better by the minute.
Suddenly, a wave of loneliness engulfed me as I felt exactly how I did when I first came to Korea. I felt like an alienated foreigner yet again.
Instead of doing my work, I sidetracked and started blogging about the twists and turns of life and of relationships.
I should’ve just listened to my brain all along and never got into a relationship, at least I’d have been saved from this misery and depression which was surrounding my every move.
“You’re so lucky you missed class, it was so boring!” Someone happily chuckled as they sat next to me, turning the computer on.
I turned and saw it was Jimin who was now trying his best to lighten up my mood, even though I knew he didn’t feel as happy as he sounded.
“Oh, yeah. It probably was,” I turned back to my computer, but ended up looking out of the window at the happy students enjoying youth, messing around and playing with friends.
Jimin stretched his head under my arms, all the way to where my face was and I couldn’t help but laugh at his cute expression of trying to get my attention.
“Aigo, so you do remember how to laugh! Phew, I thought I might have to teach you again!” He laughed, tilting his head to the side.
I stared at him and realised how ungrateful I was. I almost forgot that I still had my unconditional best friend forever by my side.
Thinking about it warmed up my mood instantly.
“Jiminie, how do you do that?” I asked.
“Do what?” He replied, staring softly at me with his puppy eyes.
“How can you always make me feel better?” I said, brushing my bangs off my forehead.
He chuckled, “I actually do it for myself, your happiness means everything to me. As long as you’re happy, I don’t care about anything else really.”
“Then tell me honestly, what’s wrong with you? Why have you been feeling upset? Jimin, please don’t hide it from me anymore. I’m sick of people not being honest with me, like I won’t understand,” I said to Jimin, trying to read his thoughts.
He mumbled something that I couldn’t hear properly, before he said, “I actually don’t know what’s wrong with me either. When I find out, I promise you’ll be the first to know. Now you tell me why you looked so upset this morning.”
Just as I was about to speak, I noticed Jungkook and Hobie fast pacing around the library trying to look for someone.
“What are they doing?” I elbowed Jimin and pointed my head in their direction as he turned around.
“It’s nearly the end of break and Jungkook has class soon. If his attendance drops, it’ll be bad for all of Bangtan,” Jimin hastily replied.
We had no other classes but citizenship on Mondays and it was our responsibility to wisely use this time, or reap the consequences of getting bad results at the end of the year; but Jungkook was a couple of years younger than us so didn’t have this privilege yet.
“Jungkookah! Hobie!” Jimin shouted before smiling and apologising to some other students for his raised voice.
They immediately ran in our direction, panting and signalling for us to get up.
“Ya, it’s Taehyunga – he’s – in – a – fight!” Hobie was catching his breath as me and Jimin turned to each other before getting up.
“No Jimin, only you come,” Jungkook glared coldly at me.
Jimin took my hand gently, “Aniyo Kookie, Minnie has to come too.”
Oh no, why was he in a fight again?
We followed Hobie and Jungkook to the back of the school, outside the sports hall where a large group of people had already gathered in a circle.
Jimin was still holding onto my hand as he pushed through the crowd, and we were both shocked to see Taehyung on top of a boy I’d never seen before, laughing like a mad man whilst punching him repeatedly in the face and stomach.
The boy had his head and face covered with his arms whilst curled up in a tight ball, begging Taehyung not to hit him anymore.
No one was stopping him and the teachers were nowhere to be seen. Instead people were cheering him on and making sound effects which sickened me.
Jimin let go of my hand and was now struggling to grab Taehyung from behind.
I didn’t know what the boy had said or done to Taehyung, but he was fuming and was taking all his inbuilt anger out on him.
“Hajima, Taehyunga, stop it! Let – go – of – him!” Jimin finally managed to drag Taehyung away from the kid.
“Go and wash your face off, hurry up!” Jimin shouted at the boy to leave as he staggered and limped off.
Taehyung was panting heavily and instantly shrugged Jimin off. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as the merciless crowd were all going back to class after watching the gladiator show.
I hadn’t seen this side of Taehyung in a long time and as I was looking at him in shock, he immediately turned his deep gaze to me.
Our eyes met and I didn’t want to know what he was thinking nor did I want Taehyung to see what was going through my mind, so I darted my eyes to my feet and blushed red, tears forming as I remembered his painful words yet again.
But I would rather not be able to see than let the tears fall.
Aish, it hurt so much to see Taehyung in pain, whether it be physical or emotional; I wanted to be able to hug it all away.
I could hear Jimin making shocked sounds at Taehyung’s injuries and I desperately wanted to hold him tight but instead I decided to turn back into the main building.
After all, he was on a break with me, right?
As I tried to make my way back, Jungkook towered in front of me and blocked my path.
Avoiding his burning eyes, I tried to walk the other way, but he slid over and stood there too.
“Jungkookah, what’s wrong with you? Let her go,” Hobie came to my rescue as I swiftly walked past Jungkook whose eyes I could feel were watching my back.
What the was his problem? At first, I decided to overlook it and not probe too deep into his behaviour, but now it was really getting on my nerves.
I went back into the library and a period later, Jimin joined me again as we completed our written part of the coursework. Nothing was said about the fight as though it didn’t even happen.
After some solid hours of hard work, we finally high fived each other with glee and went to the canteen to have lunch.
Although the thought of Taehyung was always at the back of my mind, spending time with Jimin made me temporarily forget the pain I was going through. As always, he made me laugh and we spoke about the most trivial of things, yet there was never a dull moment around Jimin.
He even stayed with me through
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