CHAPTER 1: HIS FLEETING GLANCE

If I tell you that you only have 2 years left to do whatever you want, what will you do? Maybe like everybody else, you would like to travel around the world, shop all you want or even buy every book that you like but for me, I want to find love and feel it. I want it so bad that I can feel the longing in my heart, that empty hole that no material thing can make it whole.

I have everything that every woman wants, a loving, supportive family and good friends to keep. The love that a family and friend may keep me happy but a different kind of love is what I’m looking for. A kind of love that can make me feel contented and whole. A kind of love that can make me smile even just by the thought of it.

Sandara Park may be famous for being the girl who has everything but little did they know that there is something she wants that she can’t have or rather, someone she can’t have.

“You’re looking at them again, aren’t you?” my bestfriend, Bommie, asked me. We were having our lunch in the canteen when I spotted them.

“It’s not like I want my eyes to focus on them, it just happens” I smiled bitterly.

Yes. The girl who has everything as what people say has something she can’t have. The reality is she can’t have him, her senior in their college department, because someone already claimed him and I should be okay with that fact. I should but I couldn’t.

At first, I’m not really attracted to him but when I saw how he cares for other people and how people really like him because of his nice and gentlemanly manner, I started to like him. Then as the days passed by, my feelings started to grow and then I realized I love him.

Too fast, right? I know.  But hey, that was the first time I felt it, and it is entirely bizarre and new to me.

I told my bestfriend all about him and she told me this was part of college life, having to like someone or feeling in love and that I should just feel it and to try it. I thought that maybe this was just a phase, and maybe I was attracted to his manners and of course the godly looks he have-let’s not forget that godly face and sculpted body he has.

 I thought that I will feel it with the other guys that have the same characteristic as him. Boy, I was so wrong. I thought this wasn’t a big deal until I saw them. The way he holds her hand, the way he looks at her, the way he smile at her when she is not looking, all of it broke my heart.

“Dara, stop looking. Seriously, just look for someone else. He will never notice you. Please.” My bestfriend begged, her voice laced with sadness. Her voice is usually happy and full of giddiness but when she always catches me looking at them, she will turn sad automatically.

“I want him so bad” I sighed.

“I hate this, this is my fault. I’m really sorry Dara, I didn’t meant to hurt you, if I only knew that the guy you referring to is him, I would have not done it. I know your mad..”

“Hey, I’m not mad, Bom,” I told her softly, pushing up a big smile. She didn’t hear though because she keep rambling on things she is guilty about and it’s not like she really need to be guilty about it, she just did her job.

“-rry, because I pushed them together, I became the bridge for them and now they are overly, ickly, skin-scratching, cheesy couple around campus. I’m sorry you are hurting because of me. Sorry-” She continued on.

“BOOOOOOOOOOM! Stop, stop stop! You gotta stop, I’m not hurting. I’m okay! I’m perfectly happy. See. I’m all smiles, see? a smile with teeth. I’m happy!”

“Really?”

“Really! So stop rambling and buy our food. I’m hungry! Your treat since you are the reason that they are together.”

“Hey! I thought you’re okay with it?!” she said hysterically.

“I am but I didn’t say that I will not be blackmailing you for that fact. Go now, Shoo! Buy our food!”

“You meanie! I hate youuuuuuu!”

“Love you too!”

This love thing is so complicated that I’m thankful that I have a bestfriend to keep me sane.

***

It was after lunch that the school announced that next period will be free period because there would be an emergency meeting for the faculty. As usual I’m with Bom and we are heading to the school garden, that is our favorite part of the campus because this is their favorite place.

“So, what are you planning to do?” bommie asked after some silence after we arrived at the garden.

“What plan are you referring to?”

“Well, after a year he will graduate, don’t you want to confess or something?” she inquired. “ Maybe, he will change his mind and leave her.”

“Maybe I will, Maybe I won’t. We’ll see” I really don’t know if I will but I’m considering the idea because maybe this will be my last chance to get his attention or even talk to him. I maybe famous to other people but never to him, I bet he doesn’t even know that I exist because he has a perfect muse by his side that he couldn’t take his eyes off.

“Why don’t we try to make a bet?” I can see the mischief in Bom’s eyes as she talk.

“Bet? Are for real? What are YOU planning?”  

“Simple, I know that you can see our lovely couple across from us being so sickly sweet to each other, if he looks at this way, even just for a second for under two minutes. You will try to confess and do your best to get him. I don’t care if I am the bridge of their relationship, I don’t care if you will ruin it. You just have to try to get his attention. Deal? “

“But..”

“No buts, say yes”

Closed eyes, fingers crossed. “Yes. Deal.”  

 “Yes! I know I should be in witness with this but I have to be somewhere at this time and now I’m really late. No cheating! Tell me if he did. I trust you. Byeeee!” she dashed off before I can even say something to her. That girl is really crazy.

I glanced at the couple from a distance, just one glance. I just need one glance. But how the hell would I make him glance this way if the only thing he sees is the girl in front of him. I need to do something. Think Dara, think. Hmmm..

I know! I stood up and do some crazy dances, I made sure that I am in his line of sight so he can see me. I don’t care if he saw me doing crazy dances a s long as he glance this way. But two minutes is almost up, and he never move his eyes away from her.

10..

9..

8..

7.. please look at this way

6…

5…

4..

3… Please look at me.

2…

2 1/2,…

1..

Guess I’m not worth looking for. Bom and me failed. I guess I will never have the chance.

Bzzzz. One message received.

From: Unknown Number.

Meet you after two years. And stop with the crazy dance. Bye.

My brows furrowed as I read the message and the reminder that in two years everything will change.

Two years…

As I look at the couple for the last time, I can’t help but feel envy. I wish I was her, If only he can be mine even just for a short time I would be so happy.

“Jiyong..” I whispered hoping that somehow it will reach him.

“Jiyong..”

It felt like someone called him. A faint, calming voice calling out to him.

He looks around looking if there is indeed someone calling him but there is no one aside from his sleeping girlfriend beside him, not until his eyes focused on someone, who is getting up from the bench and readying up to leave.

When no one else is watching, he finally looked at her way.

A/N: Please be patient with me, I'm trying my best to make it good. I'm new at this. So please, bear with me. Thank you for reading and I'll really appreciate if you leave some comments about it. Thank you!