Key's Pov

I was under that same Christmas tree that the city always puts up every single time Christmas came. I always enjoyed Christmas and I loved celebrating it. Last, last year, was the best Christmas I had in my whole life because that's where you first asked me out and we first spent Christmas together. We were together for 2 years and every Christmas you would make it extra special. What happen this year? 2 years down the drain just because you couldn't except that you were gay.

This Christmas was different. It was the coldest Christmas ever, but maybe it was just me. Christmas was no longer something fun for me to enjoy because it was on this day that I gave up. I never knew how much love could hurt until I met you. We had so many fights, but we would always make up. This wasn't a fight though, it was you backing away silently to fend for myself.

It took two people to agree on a relationship, but one to decide to break it. Could you have at least made it easier on me? Maybe you could have at least break up with me not on Christmas, not on our anniversary, but right before our two special events that we celebrated together.
I looked up at the large Christmas tree that mocked me for the memories I refused to forget about you. I saw couples or normal couples as you like to put it, hand in hand, walking down the streets. They looked all warm and happy, but I was the exact opposite. You wanted to be normal, but I guess being in love with the same wasn't considered normal.

Snow was falling like always as it was obviously Winter. I didn't really like the snow because it was cold and it turned to slush when it melted. The only reason I liked it was because it looked pretty when it glistened in the light. You liked snow and you always seem to get me outside in the cold weather to play in it. Even though I hated the snow, every single time you took me out I began to like it more and more. That was only because you were always smiling when I played in the snow with you. Why not this year? Did I make you lose your love for snow just like your love for me?

I walked in the snow and away from the big, now meaningless, Christmas tree. You said you loved me and you even gave a necklace to prove it, but I guess I just wasn't the perfect for you to keep loving me. The snow was now only a pool of sorrow. Everywhere I stepped it was only deepening the pain I had for you. I looked into the white snow and it was like I could see you and me playing and smiling. Well that was until a person stepped right into the image and it shattered. I guess that's what really happened.

I went to the place where I will curl up into a ball and you would hug me to give me warmth. It was the bench in the park. The bench where our name was carved into the wood. Do you remember how frustrated you were because you couldn't make the perfect heart? You probably don't remember because your having a blast with her on our special day.

I touched the writing, feeling every single dent on my finger. I hated how it didn't mean anything anymore, but just another carving on a bench. The snow fell down heavier and I was only in a T-shirt and some skinny jeans. I didn't bring my jacket because I thought you would chase after me and possibly hug me and say. "I'm sorry baby, I love you." What was I thinking..... Of course you wouldn't say that, I didn't deserve it. I wasn't in a drama.
Tears escaped from my eyes and soon it all began to pour out. I wanted you back. I wanted you to hug me. I wanted you to kiss me. I wanted YOU. My tears fell right on my jeans as I hugged my knees. I wanted you to be with me again. I took out my phone and decided to call you. I needed you right now.

My phone didn't get connection because of the weather so I got up and walked around the ankle high snow.
I held my phone out in hopes that I would get connection. I did. Right in the middle of the park I found connection. I called you. You didn't answer and I left a message. I called again. You still didn't answer and so I left another message. In the same spot I was in, I kept on calling you for at least 10 times and I left a message each time. I tried once more and I got the same results. I left the very last message before I threw my phone in the snow and dropped down on my knees.

You really didn't love me anymore and that hurt so much because I love you.

Flashback (Still Key's Pov)

I woke up and was greeted by the snowflakes outside the window. I smiled. It was Christmas and it was our anniversary. I woke up wearing your white shirt which was to baggy for me. I liked it though because it had your scent and you liked it because you knew that I was yours. I looked right next to me and I found no boyfriend. I got up and decided maybe you were in the kitchen making me breakfast like how you always do on a special occasion. I was wrong though because I was greeted by nothing, but silence. Where were you?

Were you out getting me flowers? Or were you planning a surprise? Either way I couldn't wait to see you. I ran to my closet and took out the outfit that you bought me. It was simple yet fashionable and I loved it. I quickly did my morning routine so I could get ready for your surprise gift. You loved chocolate cake, but I loved strawberry. That was why I was going to make a chocolate-strawberry cake, our favourite.

One year you tried to bake a cake for me, but ended up burning it and almost the whole apartment. I texted you first, warning you not to come home until 2 hours later. It was 10 right now. Perfect. After 2 hours it would be lunch and we would start our day together. Putting my all into baking the perfect cake, I measured everything perfectly and hand mixed them all together. I had already memorized this recipe so all I had to do was create it. I finished the the mix and put it in the oven. I just had to clean up, prepare the icing and strawberries. I had to wait for 40 minutes before the cake was ready, so I decorated the living room. I put candles out and streamers, even some balloons that I blew up right in the very room that we would spend together in.

I decided to make some snacks, when we get home from the lunch and we're going to have with the movie we were going to watch. Jonghyun texted me that we were going to have lunch so I didn't have to make it. It was perfect. I decorate the room some more and laid out the snacks on the table. The timer dinged and it was ready to be taken out. Leaving it to cool down for 30 minutes, I cut the cake and laid the strawberries on the chocolate icing. Putting the top of the cake back on I iced it all over and laid even more strawberries on. It needed to go in the fridge so I put it in there and waited, waited for my boyfriend to come and pick me up.

I grabbed my jacket and blew out the candles, I was going to wait at the lobby for him so he didn't ruin his own surprise. It was 12:53. When was he coming? Seconds turned to minutes and minutes turned to hours...... It was 4:37 now. He never liked being rushed so I didn't bother to call him. I wanted to see him though. Just when I was about to call him, he came rolling in his car. Why was he so late? Well it doesn't matter, as long as I get to see him. Opening the door, I ran up to him and hugged him tight. He pushed me away slightly. I ignored it. "I'm sorry I was late. I got called in at work and my phone died. Have you ate?" He asked me

"No have you." I asked. He nodded. "Well no matter it's just lunch, we'll spend dinner together now okay?" I said. We walked into the elevator and just when we arrived at our front door. I stopped. "Stay here for a second." I said and rushed inside our apartment. Lighting up the candles and taking out the cake, I made sure everything was perfect. I realized it was not 4 at all, but 6 and it was dark outside, but no matter how dark it was it always seems to be beautiful in the Winter because the snow falls so gracefully. I walked out and saw Jonghyun looking down. Was he cold?

"Key." He said.

"Baby, I have a surprise come in okay, no peeking." I said and grabbed his hands.

"I have to talk to you."He said. I looked at him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Can't we talk inside?" I asked, he looked up with...... sorrow? "What's wrong?" I asked. I felt no strong, warm arms around my waist and I felt empty.

"Let's break up." Jonghyun said and it was like my heart ripped itself apart. It was a joke right? It is..... He's probably surprising me. I hugged him tight and breathed in his scent.

"This is your surprise right? Your trying to trick me right? I don't like this joke please stop. Any joke I can take just not this one." I said, hoping he was just teasing me.

"It's not though. I want to break up." My boyfriend said and pushed me away.

"Why....? WHY!!! WHAT DID I DO?! I CAN CHANGE!!!" I screamed. "Why are you doing this to me?! This a joke right!!! Your only doing this because your planning a surprise!!! You win!!! Please stop, it hurts. " I yelled and began to cry.

"I don't have the same feelings anymore." He simply said. "I met someone new." He said again.

"Why are you doing this to me.......... Please stop it, I can't take it." I said and looked down. The salty tears slid down from my cheek and landed on the tiles. "What did I do? Why today? What happen?" I said silently.

"I just can't do it Key. I want to be normal. I don't want to be looked down upon. She's pretty and nice. I just want to be friends now." He said quietly and held my hand. I shook it away. I didn't want that hand the touched a woman to touch me. I didn't want to kiss those lips that he kissed her with. 'HER' hurt me so much because he want to be 'NORMAL'........ Was being gay that bad? I saw him inch his way closer to hug me and I noticed that he wasn't wearing the shoes I bought him, was he wearing new ones that she bought for him?

"Go away." I said and glared at him. "How could you? Why today?" I said silently.

"Key I'm sorry I never meant to hurt you. Please, I'm sorry." He said. Why did I not feel warmth than? I began to walk past him, but he grabbed onto my jacket. I took it off and hit him in the chest as hard as I could I ran to the stairs. I ran as fast as I could and no matter what I couldn't forgive him. I.....hated.....him.....

Why didn't you chase me? Why didn't you come after me? Why did you make me spend this chilly night alone on our special day?

End Of Flashback (Key's Pov)

So here I was in the cold and crying. I didn't know if my tears had already turned to ice, but it hurt to cry now. Why couldn't you just love me a bit more? Than we could have last. Than we could have been happy. Than I wouldn't be dying. I felt cold, but I was numb now. I couldn't feel anything anymore and it was like I was at peace. I wanted to see you though. Were you going to come after  me?

My phone began to ring and I wanted to reach out and pick it up, but I couldn't move. Was I dying? My phone stopped ringing and it was like hours before I slowly began to close my eyes. Just right when I was closing my eyes, I saw a familiar figure. I was far to tired to try to figure out who it was, but I didn't seem to care. I felt the snow blanket pack up and I felt sleepy.

Jonghyun's Pov

I woke up early in the morning and received a call from my girlfriend. I didn't like saying I was cheating on Key, but I was. I answered it and only answered if necessary. The whole time though I was looking at Key's sleeping face. He looked beautiful when he slept and if I could, I would kiss him right here and now. I couldn't though because it wasn't normal. I hated hearing my co-workers say things that upset me. Their wife, their kid, their normal relationship. I envied them. I was made fun of too and was looked down on..... My boss refused to give me a raise even when I worked for him for 4 years. My co-workers showed off the pictures of their kids and would pick on me because I was gay.

I was a grown man, but I was picked on by other grown men. Childish? I guess, but that's what was happening. I got up from bed and went to meet my girlfriend. She was nice and pretty, the dream girl for every straight guy. However, I just didn't love her, but I had to try. I wore some random shirt, plus jeans, and went to see my girlfriend at her house house.

I was aware that it was Christmas and it was me and Key's anniversary, but I just had to get away before I fall even more in love with Key. I was already madly in love with him, but I just couldn't continue it. As I arrived at my girlfriends house, she greeted me with a kiss and hug. Why didn't I feel the same when Key hugged and kissed me? The whole day I spent it with her. Eating, sleeping, talking, all of those stuff that a couple should do together, but it just didn't feel right. I told Key that I would eat with him, but my girlfriend didn't want me to leave. It would fine to leave him, I mean I am going to break up with him.

It was only 5:45, when I left her house and went to my apartment. I parked my car and was ready to break it to Key. I saw him waiting though, waiting in the lobby just staring out at space. He saw me though and I saw a glowing smile on his face. I felt so much better, but it was wrong. I went in and he hugged me and greeted me. Why was it so hard?

He hadn't eat anything yet, but I'm sure he is okay. Right? We went into the elevator and made our way up to our apartment or mine if you want to put it. Key told me to wait outside and I did. I had to prepare myself to make the sudden break up. Just seconds later he came out and told me to go in. I stopped him and told him. He yelled at me and began to cry. Each tear I saw fall on the ground, I felt a stab in my heart. I never liked seeing him cry, why did this have to happen?

I wanted to hug him and say sorry, but he pushed me away and ran. The only thing in my hand was his jacket that had his sweet scent. I went inside the apartment. Was it even a home anymore? I smelled some vanilla candles and a baked cake. The apartment was decorated nicely and pictures of me and Key were everywhere. I put my keys and phone on the table and examined the living room. Streamers and balloons were everywhere. Our favourite cake was placed neatly on the dining table along with some snacks.

I felt so at home, but without Key, it was nothing. He didn't even eat because he wanted to spend the day with me. I broke him. I sat on that same couch that we cuddled on. The Christmas tree was up in our house. It was decorated by us, but it just missed one thing. The star. Key and me would make the star together on  Christmas to make it more meaningful, but we didn't have the time to make it. Not today, not tomorrow and now not ever.

Sitting on the empty couch I glanced at everything he spent his time on. Why did I feel so wrong? I was suppose to feel normal and good, not like this. My phone rang, but I ignored it. It ran again and again, but my body just didn't want to move. It wasn't until I looked up at the clock and it was 8:52. Walking towards the cake I cut a piece and ate it. I wanted to taste what he made. I wanted him to know that all his work didn't go to a waste. My tears began to come out freely because as I looked at the cake, it said. 'Love you forever and ever. -Key' Why couldn't I bring up the courage to say that to him?

I slammed my hand on the table and crouched down, I lost the most precious thing that I ever had. I had to find him, I just had to. I ran toward the door and grabbed my keys and cell. His jacket was just laying on the floor, he hated the cold and he hated Winter. Will he be okay? Rushing to my car, I started the engine, putting in my earpiece I realized that I had 10 messages and they were all from one phone. My true soul mate.

"Please press 1 to listen to the message, 2 to dele-" Before I even let my phone finish, I pressed 1 and listened in.

"Jonghyun please!!!! I'm sorry!!! I miss you...." I heard Key say.

"To listen to the next message please press 1, to delete this message please press 2, or for mo-" I press 1.

"Please pick up. I wan to talk. I want you to explain, please honey. I can't take this." I heard him say again. I drove through the streets looking all over for him. Every spot that I could think of I went to and at the same time I was pressing 1. "Jonghyun, I'm sorry ok. Just pick up, it's me Key." I heard and this time I could also hear him crying. I pressed number 1 again and each time I heard him cry or talk, I guilt of rush would surge through my body. "PICK UP KIM JONGHYUN!!!! I HATE YOU SO MUCH!!!! Please.... You don't know how much pain your making me go through. Call me back." He said. He hated me. Anyone else could hate me just not him, not yet. Not today, not ever because I want him to love me I really do.

I checked our little coffee shop that we always went to at least once a week, but he wasn't there. I walked around the town and went to his favourite shop, he wasn't there. I listened to another message that he left and for some reason I knew exactly where he was. "Remember the Christmas tree in town? It isn't the same without you, please call me." I ran to the big Christmas tree in town and looked around. Why wasn't he here? The snow kept falling and it was packing up.

The snowflakes fell and I felt it was memories of me and Key, beautiful and all different, but just to much to count. I continued to listen to the messages that he had sobbed out. "Baby, I miss you so much right now. I'm cold and I'm hurt." He said. I wanted to hug him and give him warmth, tell him that it was all going to be ok. "I'm so tired, please just answer the phone. I swear I won't yell and I won't cry. I just want to hear your voice." Key you will hear me right now. I called him as I scanned the area. His phone was ringing, but he didn't answer. Was he pranking me?

I ran to the park to the place he will cuddle up with me. As I looked all over in the thick snow, I listened to another voice message. "I know you won't pick up, but just know that I really do love you. I don't hate you. I love you so much so please, please just come back? I'll work on being perfect I promise. If....... If you really don't love me anymore, than can I love you? Can you please let me love you? I promise it won't hurt your relationship with her. Okay?"

"No, Key. I love you, not her. Where are you? KEY!!!" I shouted.

"You have two new messages. To listen please press 1, to lis-" I pressed 1 and immediately saw a figure in the snow laid down and motionless. As fast as I could, I ran through the thick snow.

"Jonghyun-shi, I wanted to tell you one last thing, can you please call me?" The message said. Why did he add the shi? Was I just another stranger now? Why does this person look like Key? Please don't let it be Key!!! I beg you!!! I ran through the icy snow and collapsed on my knees when I saw how this man was my man. He was my Key. He was freezing, shivering, dying.

"KEY WAKE UP!!!" I shouted and hugged him as hard as I could. He had such a delicate body, weak and frail. Why did I have to put him through this? "Key wake up please!!!!!" I shouted and hugged even tighter. "Key please wake up!!! I swear I'll be better!!! We were going to have a family together!!! We were going to live forever together!!! Wake up please!!!! I promise we'll be back to normal. Just wake up, it's that easy please!!!" I shouted and cried. I listened to the very last message and my tears kept on rolling down my eyes and on to the fluffy snow. It was a simple little message, but to me it meant so much. It was the last time I could ever hear his voice.

Never ever let anyone tell you what's normal. Nothing is normal in this world, but I was blind and I fell into the trap of being normal. I lost the most precious person to me on Christmas. How can I ever be normal without feeling like myself? I was under that same snow storm that killed my boyfriend. I hated Christmas from that day because it reminded me of how stupid I was.

"Merry Christmas." That was it, his last two words that I'll ever hear from him and it was his final words.

Merry Christmas

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The End

I do hope you guys enjoyed it. I never meant it to be sad, but...... I guess it ended up sad.

A new style of writing for me. Comments are loved, so if you want you are welcomed to comment.

Was it to rushed? Well it was a oneshot. Sorry if it was rushed.

Well I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Thank you for reading.

<3