Given that I retired to bed earlier than usual, the physical state I woke up in was undoubtedly way less refreshed than I expected myself to be in. 

Not entirely sure of the exact time I fell asleep except that it was while I was watching the 9.00pm News. I struggled to peel open my heavy eyelids slightly to the sight of my black-out drape darkened room and extended my right arm to feel for my mobile on the side table. I squint at the bright backlit screen and peered through slit eyes at the time before dropping it down onto my bed along with my arm.  

I laid still with eyes shut for what felt like a minute or two before lifting my arms above my head and straightening my legs in a much needed deep stretch. Feeling some relief come to the soreness in the body, I swelled my lungs with air, feeding every cell in my body with oxygen.

I got up from the bed and dragged my weighty feet to the bathroom, moving in the dark with ease, knowing every inch of my room, before reaching for the switch to turn on the bathroom lights.

Looking out of the glass panel that spanned nearly the length of the bathtub, I manoeuvre my electric toothbrush systematically along my row of pearly whites and these words came to mind - “The sun is hanging like a blazing fireball, lighting up the azure sky, casting a rosy glow lining around each fluffy white cloud, promising a good day ahead.” 

Exhaling a deep breath, I turned my body around to gawk at my toothpaste foam stained mouth reflection on the vanity mirror and grimaced before verbalising to myself, “Who the hell are you trying to kid here. It is only 15mins pass 5 in the morning and the only closest thing to a fireball that is lighting up the dark sky is that distant amber coloured light hanging on the mast of one of the sail boats berthed at the marina ahead.”

This is just Pathetic with a capital “P” because in my desperation to clamber for that slightest association to being and feeling young, I even dug deep into my long term memory to recall and recite in my head the opening sentence of the composition I wrote in elementary school. Why? Because in reality, I fell asleep watching the television like an elderly who could not even keep awake for 30mins of News and in addition to that, I am even waking up at the same time as my Halmeoni and Harabuji who are in their 70s.

Taking for granted the usual morning physiological pride, this morning, after stripping the last piece of fabric off my body, I made sure to look south to visually verify my healthy testosterone level before stepping into the shower room somewhat comforted and sated.

I could not help dousing myself with a more than usual, generous amount of mint shampoo and shower gel as I tried to scrub away any scent and thought that was remotely related to “old, aged or geriatric” from my physical and mental self, whilst allowing the sharp cold mint to awaken my senses.

All decked out in my white Thom Browne shirt and navy pants ensemble, looking every bit like the usual Dr. Jung that I am, minus the doctor’s robe but all ready to assume the role, I picked up my spare Maserati car key and headed to the carpark.

My vision was immediately drawn to the dark and light grey duo tone Rolls Royce Wraith conspicuously parked right in front of the lift lobby, screaming for attention and a sense of forebode descended on me. Sure we do have nice cars parked here with the likes of Porsche, Maserati (mine), Maclaren (MinHyuk’s) amongst other imported premium brands as this is after all a posh up-market residential development. But as the units are either studios or one bedroom serviced apartments, therefore the profile of the typical residents here are young professionals and the Rolls Royce Wraith’s avuncular stature would not be a natural choice.

In other words, unless someone here has found herself a “Sugar Daddy”, otherwise it could very well spell “D.A.D.” in my case. So, I directed my worried eyes to the number plate for confirmation and closed them in dread as the words “No… No… No…” repeated inwardly, recognising it as another “smack on the back of my hand” and yet refusing to acknowledge that am being “punished” high-handedly once again.

In my refusal to believe that this is happening to me still at my age, I called Guard Kim on his mobile hoping to reverse this somehow. The call was ringing almost towards the tail end of it before it was picked up and I addressed pleadingly, “Samchon… Samchon…” dragging on the last syllabus with aegyo like the child that I was over 20years ago when I needed to pull a favour.

Hearing mom’s voice on the end completely threw me off equilibrium and I let slipped my discomposure and murmured, “God…” in slightly louder than a whisper before I could stop myself.

“Son, we do not use God’s name in vain.” Mom reprimanded and then continued, “Aren’t you enjoying Guard Kim’s company too much to be calling him at 6 in the morning or is there a more compelling reason I should be informed of.”

It descended on me then that Mom had declared war with me and I was instantly intrigued and competitive. The mischievous me, like a 5year old who did not know when to stop pulling the pony tail of the girl in math class, retorted to take a dig at mom with a smile plastered on my face, “Hm... I see that you are all fair, my Love. I always thought that the power play only applied to me but I see that Samchon also does not always have the autonomy of doing what he wants at his own time or when he wants to. But at 6 in the morning, isn’t it a little early in the morning, isn’t it way outside of a regular person’s work hours?”

Taking it all in good stride, mom replied calmly, “Well, your Maserati is just much too fun to be left alone for too long. So Guard Kim took me to my morning exercise in it to allow the sound of the engine’s roar to inject vigour into my day and I must say that this nifty little machine is exhilarating! Looks like am going to keep it for a little while more, Son.”

Feeling like I abruptly lost my first troop of soldiers to a battle I was unprepared for, it left me all flustered and I carelessly retort, “But Mom, you can get one delivered to you by 10am in the morning if you want. Why would you play tug of war with me over something that cost no more than loose change to you and it is not even in your favourite colour!”

I thought I heard her smirk before she answered back, “Well, let’s just say that I intend to enjoy some of my son’s fruit of labour. So stop whining. You are not getting any shorter end of stick here. You have Daddy’s Wraith in the meantime. The key is with the apartment’s concierge service.” Came mom’s sharp and to the point reply, displaying once again that she has the upper hand here.

It was all becoming crystal that mom’s displeasure from yesterday h