It almost feels like I’ve always smoked, that it’s something that I just decided to do. However, I’m not that naïve. I smoked because he did. I smoked because it got us talking more, we spent more time together. It started out because he always went out and smoked with his friends. I felt lonely staying behind while they went out on the terrace to smoke. It bothered me when Hyunwoo went out and Mina followed. I was jealous and so I started. Though, I suppose I still am naïve. He left and here I am still smoking and wondering why I can’t quit. Wondering why I can’t just stop.

I take the last drag from this cigarette and put it out on my ashtray. I take a deep breath of fresh air and lean against the balcony. It’s been a couple months now since Hyunwoo told me that he’d have to stop seeing me. I feel very stuck.

“Kinda weird, you don’t usually smoke alone.” A voice says. I glance across the way and frown. I quickly realize it’s one of my famous neighbors. While they aren’t all usually home I can tell when they are. The usually silent apartment next door becomes louder. They are pretty decent as far as sound is concerned since they’re rarely here, and since I don’t really know them, I don’t really care. Though sometimes when I come out to smoke I can hear them fighting about something, though it’s always muffled and I can’t tell what they are actually saying. Though this is rare, they never use their balcony.

I glance and stare at the dark shadowy figure for a moment. “You guys don’t usually come out here.” I shoot back calmly as I consider another cigarette.

“You guys smoke, and it isn’t exactly good for our voices or health.” The guy says back in the same tone I’d used. “Is that guy asleep?” He questions.

I fight the urge to smoke, but I’m having a hard time fighting it as Hyunwoo flashes through my mind. I check the pack for another, I’ll have to buy a pack tomorrow. “No, he doesn’t come around anymore.” I reply simply as I light my last one. I take a drag and feel calmer following the nicotine’s effect on me. “Sorry.” I mumble as I exhale.

“Smoking is awful.” The boy says.

I nod my head agreeing whole heartedly. “Well you know bad habits tend to stick around even after the reason leaves.” I quip exhaling away from him. “Which one are you?” I ask curiously.

“Sehun,” He replies after a moment. “I guess we’ve never introduced ourselves to you.”

I tap the ash off the end into my ashtray. “Nope, but I never was too curious to be honest.” I answer back easily. “I’m Henley.” I say sort of properly. “You’re up late.”

“I don’t have a schedule tomorrow.” Sehun answers sounding rather relived by this. “Do you always smoke this late?” He asks.

I frown as I consider this. “You know, to be honest I’m not even sure when I smoke.” I say quietly, a small sort of sad laugh leaving me as I think about this. “I don’t think I do.” I answer unsure if this is true or not. Hyunwoo changed a lot of things, I reflexively take another draw from my bad habit. Hyunwoo leaving also changed things. “You ask a lot of questions.” I say glancing over to the shadow I’m apparently having this conversation with.

“Curious about my neighbor. You’re kinda hard to catch.” Sehun answers smoothly. “That and I guess we both have really erratic schedules.”

“Very true.” I answer as I contemplate this. “I have tomorrow off too.” I whisper. I sigh as I attempt to blow smoke rings, it doesn’t work too well. “You’re in that super popular group right?” I ask trying to put a face to the name.

Sehun chuckles. “I guess.”

He doesn’t say anything else, while annoying it is sort of humble, though it could be him being cocky. I don’t know why, but I find it comforting. We stand in silence for a while. I smoke while Sehun is doing whatever it is he came out here for. “Well I’m off to bed. Good night Mr. Sehun.” I say putting the out and then opening my door.

“Night Miss Henley.” He answers back, the sound of their door opening as I head inside. Part of me wonders if he came out to talk, though if that’s true, I’m not sure exactly how I feel about that. After all like I said, I never was too curious about my neighbors to begin with.