Chapter 8

Department X

The customer took a look at the disheveled Jessica in front of her and picked up the napkin that was placed on the table. Stretching out her arm, she carefully dabbed the sweat off Jessica's face and delicatly brushed away the bangs that had fallen over her eyes. Jessica blushed and turned away, taking the napkin from her and wiping her face herself. Returning back behind the counter, Jessica sneaked at the glance at the customer who raised her glass of ma juice at her as a way of saying thanks for the trouble taken.

She stayed for an hour in the cafe and throughout this hour, Jessica couldn't stop her eyes from sneaking glances at the artwork in front of her. She sat in the corner with the sun streaming in and somehow the light just seems to radiate off her. Jessica loves how her brows would sometimes narrow into a frown as she concentrates on the laptop in front of her and sometimes, she would break out into a smile revealing deep smile lines. The teatime crowd started streaming in after a while and Jessica had to concentrate on her coffee brewing again. After finally clearing the crowd, she tried looking for the customer again but could not find her on the couch. Thinking that she had left, Jessica dejectedly turned back to the sink and started cleaning up. Just then, she heard the clearing of a throat at the cashier counter and turned towards its direction only to come face to face with the artwork again. Smiling, she took out a credit card from her wallet. "Thanks so much for specially making ma juice for me. I enjoyed drinking it a lot." Glancing at the name on the credit card. Jessica now knew what her mysterious artwork's name was. Kwon Yuri. Judging from the name, she must be either chinese or korean. Pushing back the credit card to her, Jessica smiled and replied "Its my treat this time." Yuri smiled again and thanked her for the treat before grabbing her bag from the counter and leaving the cafe. Jessica sighed as she knew she won't see her again. Turning back to the sink, she resumed her washing up as she heard a scream coming from inside the kitchen. "Jessica Jung Soo Yeon, how could you buy a hundred bucks worth of ma."

==================================================

That night after closing up the cafe, Jessica decided to pay the new club in town a visit. Donning a pink mini dress, she hailed a cab from outside the cafe and headed for club. It was ladies night and as she entered the club, she noticed many people on the dance floor. Grabbing a seat by the bar, she ordered what she always have. A Johnny Walker blue label on the rocks. As she sipped on her drink slowly savouring the richness and intensity of it, she looked towards the dance floor where a figure was gyrating her body to the beats spun out by the dj. Taking a closer look, she realised it was the customer from today, the artwork she couldn't stop looking at, Kwon Yuri. She looked so different at night in her Versace off shoulder number and she was surrounded by guys who seemed more interested in her body than at dancing. Their eyes met across the dance floor and time seemed to stop. Jessica could feel Yuri's eyes piercing deep into her soul as she slowly felt herself heating up. Blaming it on the drink she just had, Jessica decided to order another one to cool off.as she could feel her face reddening and she fanned at herself vigourously.

It was just then when she felt a hand slowly snaking itself around her waist. Thinking it to be another guy with a ertic thought in his mind, Jessica grabbed hold of the arm and was about to snapped it off at the elbow when she turned into the arms of... Kwon Yuri? Before she could react, Yuri whispered two words into her ears "Help me" and pressed their lips firmly together. She could feel Yuri's tongue dancing gently on her lips and she parted allowing it access. Their tongues entwined together like in a dance as she felt Yuri pulling her closer and closer. Slowly increasing her grip on Yuri's arm, she pulled Yuri into her embrace, pressing their bodies together. Her head was spinning with confusion as it whirled in a frenzy, she didnt know what she was doing nor why she is doing this. She had just one clear thought in her mind. She didn't want this moment to end. 
 

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
colleenorcullo
#1
Chapter 55: SooNa is so sweet T~T
Taengoo311
#2
Chapter 68: Umm why no updates? D:
SunnyandTae
#3
Chapter 32: New reader. Love where it's going. I'm up to the Christmas special and love it. It's written so well. I can't wait to finish :)
badtestament #4
Wuuthraad : Hahaha, well. Not everything will go to their food binges. I will have a part 3 to explain what they did with the money
badtestament #5
Forever9 : Haha, *evil gleams somemore* Maybe I should tell Youngie about your suspicious love for rilakuma.. *rubs hands in glee* YAH dongsaeng, wae you no update childcare chaos... *prepares the darts you loaned me*
Wuuthraad
#6
I now feel bad for Kim Tae Woo, now that he's going to jail and all his cash is going to fund SooNa food binges XD
badtestament #7
Vedasone : Thanks for the comments. =) Really thanks.

Mashipao : I will post my reply on your wall ok?? =D Thanks for reading my fanfic and thanks even more for your detailed comments and improvement suggestions
MashiPao
#8
S: LAST COMMENT! I SWEAR! XD
While reading your story, I noticed the pros and cons of your writing. So I want to give you some advice to make your fic better and your writing overall. :P
First of all, you do research on your topics. Which is really good. it's very easy to tell that you did your research on the guns and whatnot. In fact, would you mind helping me with that kind of stuff? LOl The amount of information within your story (and the gun explanations in the sequel) clearly show the amount of research you did. Few authors do this large amount of research so kudos to you!
Next, you have AMAZING vocabulary and details. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. Although, your sentences can get a bit awkward at times, it doesn't hide the fact that your details are amazing. However, I think that all the details you have are like a double-edged sword in a sense. It's really great to read a fic with such amazing detail but sometimes it gets...tedious. Your updates are rather short so all I can see is giant paragraph after paragraph. And honestly, it makes me feel like I'm reading an essay instead of a story. So I would recommend maybe taking your giant paragraphs and separating them into smaller ones. That way, it's much easier to read. Not a lot of people want to read giant blocks of text.
Also, your details and whatnot overpower your dialogue. You have more details than you have dialogue. In my opinion, dialogue is what makes a story and fleshes out the characters' personalities. So perhaps add more dialogue into your story?
You have problems writing dialogue as well which is awfully strange because I see you doing it the right way and then you mostly do it the wrong way...such as in Chapter 47. You squish all of your dialogue into one paragraph which is incorrect. (And it causes many readers to run away LOL) There must be a new paragraph every time a new person speaks.
So I'm done. Whew that took a long time to type up. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and found my comments useful~
MashiPao
#9
Moving on to the next comment! LOL I don't know...I might hit a new high and have to write three comments. I still have much to say. :P Just a heads up, I read teh sequel too so I'll be squishing everything in the comments here. XD
Anyway, continuing about Tiffany. Thumbs up for continuity. I noticed you still had pink dossiers in your sequel. Hehe sorry I just like it when the author stays consistent. I always have smile on my face every time Tiffany enters the cafe: walks/runs in like a boss then glomps everyone. XD (Also yay for slight Taenyish moment in the sequel haha).
Moving on to the highlight of the story that I found the most amusing: Jessica's and Taeyeon's test to get into Department X. Haha it was great. Cucumbers and roasted cockroaches? Wow. Must've been hell. The examiners weren't very smart when they decided not to tie up Jessica's feet. XD Aso I love the background of the Cafe with No Name. I LOL'd at such the lame name and LOL'd even harder when you said "Taeyeon's creativeness". Nice Touch. :)
Moving on the main plot of the story, I must say the Department X definitely have their feet stuck in a pile of crap. Especially Sooyoung. D: It was so sad when she left. Also, I was so surprised at the end when Seohyun drugged Hyoyeon. Why SEOHYUN? WHY? T_T Honestly, I never expected Seohyun of all people. She's too nice and stuff. But you know, the nicest people are probably the most evil and sinister (Does that make me evil? LOL). Going into the sequel, I wonder if Sunny and Hyomin will really fall in love with each other especially since Hyomin is taking such good care of Sunny in the hospital...while Sunny's lover is sulking around, seeking Tiffany for refuge...Shame, Taeyeon. If Sunny caught you, she might have to request you to get into bed immediately. XD Hehe I'm an avid Taeny fan so I'm content with the Taeny development. :P But anyway, Seohyun, why are you so EVIL?! T_T Evil! D: Augghhh...Well, I'm running out of space again. LOL