Chapter 61

Department X

Crisp knocks sounded on the hospital door causing Yuri to jump up from the couch and a head popped in just when she was hurriedly stuffing the ipod into her pocket. Yuri thanked god that the lewd noises had died down as she mustered up a stern nurse looking face and stared expressionlessly at the guard "We are still dressing the horrendous amount of wounds the patient has. Of course, if you think you can do a better job, you are welcome to take over the task of dressing Ms Lee up anytime." The guard dropped the macho act as he bowed curtly at Yuri and closed the door behind him. Opening the curtains a little, Yuri stiffled the urge to scream the words "My eyes" and "I am blind" as she hurriedly closed it back and grabbed a surgical mask off the tray of medical supplies before her.  After creating a make shift blindfold out of surgical mask, Yuri opened the curtains once again to reveal Sooyoung and Yoona who was still kind of stuck in an awkward position. Feeling the way before her, Yuri threw the bandage she held in her hand at the last known directions they were in and screamed softly "YA! You two can resume your art of making babies in our next visit. We have to leave before the guards start getting suspicious."

Yoona reluctantly untangled her legs and arms which was hopelessly entwined in Sooyoung's and pouted a little as she warned Yuri not to peep at her and started searching for her clothes which was strewn all over the floor. Yuri pretended to feel nauseous as she rolled her eyes behind her makeshift blindfold and replied sarcastically "I value my eyes too much to peep at that glorious body you think you have. Thank you very much" Yoona stuck out her tongue at Yuri who turned her head sharply at where Yoona stood and glared angrily at her through the surgical mask she had over her eyes "I heard that." Yoona hurriedly got dressed as she gave Sooyoung a last goodbye hug, They ended up snogging and making out forcing the very distressed Yuri to fake a cough in the bid to alert them of her presence.

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Yuri drummed her fingers on the steering wheel in the car as she focused her eyes on the road and completely ignored Yoona who was looking at her with an extremely apologetic expression on her face "Unnie...". Yuri raised her paln at Yoona's face "Don't you Unnie me. I swear to god, this will be the last time I ever play nice to you again." Yoona slumped back onto the chair as a pout slowly grew on her face. Reaching out two fingers, she pinched a little of Yuri's sleeve and tugged it slightly from left to right. Yuri finally turned her head to look at Yoona with an annoyed expression on her face as Yoona kept up the tugging."Unnie" Yoona whined slightly as she kept up the cute pouting expression she had on her face. Yuri sighed as the annoyed expression she had tried so hard to maintain slowly crumbled into a smile at Yoona's actions and she shook her head at herself for allowing Yoona to exploit her weak side so easily. Yoona broke into a beam as she pumped a small fist into the air and rested her head on Yuri's shoulder. Yuri gently pushed her head away as she turned her concentration back on the road "I am still driving here." Yoona rested her head back on Yuri's shoulder as she smiled and hooked her arm into the crook of Yuri's elbow "I like it here. It makes me feek warm and comfy " Yuri sighed again as she adjusted her position a little to allow Yoona to have easier access to her shoulder.

Yoona snuggled closer enjoying the warmth of Yuri's shoulder as she slowly spoke up "So I heard from Jessica Unnie that your induction test is tomorrow?" Yuri nodded her head as the grip she had on the steering wheel slowly increased. Noticing that Yuri's knuckles were slowly whitening, Yoona stretched out a finger as she absent mindedly traced the shape of Yuri's knuckles. Yuri's slowly relaxed at Yoona's touch as she spoke with a slight tremble in her voice "How was your induction test?" Yoona shrugged as she continued tracing even though Yuri had already became less tense "Well, mine was on the technical aspect. I had to hack into the Treasury board first and somehow get myself the TS and SCI clearance in 12 hours. This was the hardest part because it usually takes someone 3 years to get these clearance. After that came the easier part which was to hack into the NSA website to give myself super admin access." Yuri nodded slowly at Yoona's words even though it didn't really make much sense to her. Yoona continued "But my test was for the technical agent position unlike you. You will be taking the field agent asssements which I heard from Jessica Unnie was so easy to pass she breezed it through with her eyes closed and with one arm tied behind her back. But it seemed a little harder for Taeyeon Unnie because she erupted into a fit of violent coughing at what Jessica Unnie had said." Yoona slowly closed her eyes at the completion of the last sentence as the warmth from Yuri's shoulder and the music from the audio system slowly lulled her into a slumber.

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colleenorcullo
#1
Chapter 55: SooNa is so sweet T~T
Taengoo311
#2
Chapter 68: Umm why no updates? D:
SunnyandTae
#3
Chapter 32: New reader. Love where it's going. I'm up to the Christmas special and love it. It's written so well. I can't wait to finish :)
badtestament #4
Wuuthraad : Hahaha, well. Not everything will go to their food binges. I will have a part 3 to explain what they did with the money
badtestament #5
Forever9 : Haha, *evil gleams somemore* Maybe I should tell Youngie about your suspicious love for rilakuma.. *rubs hands in glee* YAH dongsaeng, wae you no update childcare chaos... *prepares the darts you loaned me*
Wuuthraad
#6
I now feel bad for Kim Tae Woo, now that he's going to jail and all his cash is going to fund SooNa food binges XD
badtestament #7
Vedasone : Thanks for the comments. =) Really thanks.

Mashipao : I will post my reply on your wall ok?? =D Thanks for reading my fanfic and thanks even more for your detailed comments and improvement suggestions
MashiPao
#8
S: LAST COMMENT! I SWEAR! XD
While reading your story, I noticed the pros and cons of your writing. So I want to give you some advice to make your fic better and your writing overall. :P
First of all, you do research on your topics. Which is really good. it's very easy to tell that you did your research on the guns and whatnot. In fact, would you mind helping me with that kind of stuff? LOl The amount of information within your story (and the gun explanations in the sequel) clearly show the amount of research you did. Few authors do this large amount of research so kudos to you!
Next, you have AMAZING vocabulary and details. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. Although, your sentences can get a bit awkward at times, it doesn't hide the fact that your details are amazing. However, I think that all the details you have are like a double-edged sword in a sense. It's really great to read a fic with such amazing detail but sometimes it gets...tedious. Your updates are rather short so all I can see is giant paragraph after paragraph. And honestly, it makes me feel like I'm reading an essay instead of a story. So I would recommend maybe taking your giant paragraphs and separating them into smaller ones. That way, it's much easier to read. Not a lot of people want to read giant blocks of text.
Also, your details and whatnot overpower your dialogue. You have more details than you have dialogue. In my opinion, dialogue is what makes a story and fleshes out the characters' personalities. So perhaps add more dialogue into your story?
You have problems writing dialogue as well which is awfully strange because I see you doing it the right way and then you mostly do it the wrong way...such as in Chapter 47. You squish all of your dialogue into one paragraph which is incorrect. (And it causes many readers to run away LOL) There must be a new paragraph every time a new person speaks.
So I'm done. Whew that took a long time to type up. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and found my comments useful~
MashiPao
#9
Moving on to the next comment! LOL I don't know...I might hit a new high and have to write three comments. I still have much to say. :P Just a heads up, I read teh sequel too so I'll be squishing everything in the comments here. XD
Anyway, continuing about Tiffany. Thumbs up for continuity. I noticed you still had pink dossiers in your sequel. Hehe sorry I just like it when the author stays consistent. I always have smile on my face every time Tiffany enters the cafe: walks/runs in like a boss then glomps everyone. XD (Also yay for slight Taenyish moment in the sequel haha).
Moving on to the highlight of the story that I found the most amusing: Jessica's and Taeyeon's test to get into Department X. Haha it was great. Cucumbers and roasted cockroaches? Wow. Must've been hell. The examiners weren't very smart when they decided not to tie up Jessica's feet. XD Aso I love the background of the Cafe with No Name. I LOL'd at such the lame name and LOL'd even harder when you said "Taeyeon's creativeness". Nice Touch. :)
Moving on the main plot of the story, I must say the Department X definitely have their feet stuck in a pile of crap. Especially Sooyoung. D: It was so sad when she left. Also, I was so surprised at the end when Seohyun drugged Hyoyeon. Why SEOHYUN? WHY? T_T Honestly, I never expected Seohyun of all people. She's too nice and stuff. But you know, the nicest people are probably the most evil and sinister (Does that make me evil? LOL). Going into the sequel, I wonder if Sunny and Hyomin will really fall in love with each other especially since Hyomin is taking such good care of Sunny in the hospital...while Sunny's lover is sulking around, seeking Tiffany for refuge...Shame, Taeyeon. If Sunny caught you, she might have to request you to get into bed immediately. XD Hehe I'm an avid Taeny fan so I'm content with the Taeny development. :P But anyway, Seohyun, why are you so EVIL?! T_T Evil! D: Augghhh...Well, I'm running out of space again. LOL