“I’m really sorry for intruding like this again, Sungmin-shii.” Mother said as she put down all the stuff I’d be needing for two days and one night. “I’m lucky to have you taking care of my Kyuhyun.”

Sungmin smiled warmly, like he always did in front of the elders. I kept my face blank. “It’s no problem Mrs. Cho. Kyuhyun’s well-behaved so I don’t have a hard time keeping an eye on him.”

“I’m not a kid.” I couldn’t help but hiss and all he did was chuckle warmly. Mother was the one to smack me at the back of my head.  

“Be good, Kyuhyun. I’ll leave now, okay? Sungmin! Thank you again and sorry for the trouble!”

Sungmin waved dismissively and saw her out. In just a matter of seconds she was out of the room, leaving me behind.

I kept my gaze on the ground.

“Is he the 11th guy this time?”

I stiffened. “12th.” Excluding the man she called my father.

I heard Sungmin hummed and saw him bringing my bag inside his room. I stood there for a couple of minutes before sighing in resignation and throwing myself on the couch.

The first time my mother and I met this guy was three years ago. It was the beginning of the semester of my first year in high school when we moved to the unit beside his. I remembered him welcoming us with a warm smile even before we could put our stuff inside the apartment. He helped us sort our things and as a thank you, my mother invited him over for dinner. In my mother and Sungmin’s conversation, I learned that he started living here alone as soon as he entered university and tried to work part-time jobs to fend for himself. Which was also one of the many reasons why Mother admired him. And that admiration blossomed into trust… well, it was actually because she couldn’t find anyone else to watch over me while she met up with her boyfriends so she didn’t really had a choice but to entrust me to the guy next door. It turned out well the first time, seeing me unharmed for more than twenty-four hours so she kept doing it. Leaving me with Sungmin as she went and find the right man for her. The fact that she knew Sungmin was gay didn’t bother her.

“Hey, your mother told me about you staying over like, two days ago so I made sure to cook your favorite!” Sungmin said cheerfully from the kitchen which wasn’t even that far from where I was.

I snorted. “It’s ramen, isn’t it?”

“Brat, you could have just pretended to appreciate the effort.”

I did. But of course I wouldn’t let him know that. I smiled before making my way to the kitchen. He was bending over in front of the kitchen cabinets below the sink, probably looking for the seasonings he misplaced again.

“I told you to put the seasonings in just one place. You never learn.” I sighed, walking over to help him look for it. I saw his cheeks turning pink, probably embarrassed by the fact that a mere seventeen year old was lecturing him.

“I know, . It’s just that… aha!” Sungmin held out the seasonings and stuck out his tongue at me. “Hyukjae was the one who misplaced it, not me.”

Hyukjae.

Somehow, that name never failed to irk me.

“Tell that idiot to act properly in your house.” I said and immediately got smack by the head. Why was I being hit twice this day? Geez...

“Don’t call my friend idiot, Kyu. Help me set the plates on the table if you’re not too busy talking.”

Friend. If I know, Hyukjae could be him dry at night or vice versa on a rare occasion that mom’s at home, which meant that I wouldn’t be around Sungmin’s house to disturb them.

I gritted my teeth and did what I was told.

“Your mood really , you know?” Sungmin blurted out halfway lunch. I pretended not to hear anything and focused on my plate.

I heard him sigh and when I looked up, I saw him staring right at me. Unfazed, I slurped the last of my noodles and brought my plates to the sink, dodging his eyes.

I turned to him and saw him still looking at me. We stayed like that for a couple of minutes, with our breaths filling the silence, until I couldn’t take it anymore. I backed down, shifted my gaze to the floor instead before sighing. “I’m sorry. I’m being an . I’ll wash the dishes.”

Sungmin grinned, “I’ll help you dry.”

“So what’s he like this time?”

It should have offended me, the way he asked about the guys my mother dates like she was some , but we both know he hadn’t meant it to sound like that so I let it slide. In fact, I’ve always taken it as him being concerned. My mother’s records in relationships with men wasn’t pretty. Sometimes she’d go home bruised, and I’d be the one to take care of her. I remembered one time buying groceries with her and all of a sudden a woman grabbed her by the hair, scratching her face while calling her names like ‘home-wrecker, , or a ’. It traumatized me, but I didn’t want her to worry too much about me as much as she should worry about herself. I found out that the guy he had dated had a wife she didn’t know about which ended up with her being humiliated and the guy getting out of the hook.

“Decent, I guess. They all are at first.” I shrugged, handing him the last plate to dry.

“Don’t you think you’re too pessimistic about your mother’s love life?”

‘I’m too pessimistic about love.’ I wanted to correct him. I splashed him some water instead before running out to the sala.

“Damned brat.” Sungmin said as he sat on the ground, picking Battle City as the game to play. He was that lame.

“I told you the decency never lasts.” I said as soon as I entered his apartment.

“How was school?” Sungmin tried to change the subject and offered a smile but the incessant shouting from the other side of the wall was too loud to ignore. I didn’t notice I was trembling until Sungmin held my hand.

“Sc--school’s fine. I got straight A’s so--” There was the sound of glass breaking, mother’s doing. She was already breaking a lot of plates before I decided to leave and run to Sungmin. “Turned out the man was already seeing someone else. The excuse this time was that the other girl was busy so he couldn’t end things properly. The er."

Sungmin hugged me, purposely covering my ears in the process. “Let’s go take a shower.”

I nodded before going to the bathroom, leaving the door open. I sat inside the tub and waited like a puppy waiting for his owner to come. Sungmin signed in his Spotify, playing ‘Wild-Blue Neighbourhood' on the background. He turned up the volume until the shouting was overlapped by Troye Sivan and then he entered the bathroom.

“Too slow.” I blurted.

“Too impatient.” He sighed.

And just like what I did, he entered the tub without stripping. He the shower and settled beside me.

The water had a warm temperature that felt nice to the skin. That way, I wouldn’t feel the tears flowing along with it. Sungmin didn’t say anything. He just kept quiet, sometimes humming to the song blaring from outside, most of the time he’d just hold me with his arms wrapped around me. This happened too often than I could remember. My mother and his boyfriend would start fighting, ignoring me, and I would come running here to seek Sungmin’s comfort.

“Sometimes, I wished my mom dated you instead.”

Sungmin laughed, hearing what I said despite the noise.

“That’ll be weird.”

“Because you’re gay, I know.”

“That, and your mom’s twice my age, jesus Kyuhyun do the math.” I was about to laugh at that when he said, “...and because I’m dating somebody else already.”

All of a sudden the water coming from the shower turned cold. There was a lot of noise surrounding me but all I could hear was my silence.

“Hyu--Hyukjae?” Was the only name I could come up with. He looked like I said something awful though. The kind of look he gave me when I spoiled him about Star Wars episode six. Only this time he looked at me with disgust.

“The hell! First of all, eww. Second, dude, Hyukjae’s straight as his armpit hair and third, eww.”

I didn’t want to know, really. But my lips just kept moving on their own. “Who?”

“No one you know. But you’ll probably meet him the next time your mom let you stay over night.”

“That’s… not necessary.”  

“Really? But I think you’ll get along just fine. He’s good at--”

“I said it’s not necessary, Sungmin. I don’t care where he’s good at.”

Sungmin side-eyed me, as if reading my expression. I sighed. I was being unfair.

“I’m sorry. Being an . I’ll meet him when I’m able to, okay? I’m just… just busy with school and... stuff.”

“And stuff…” He maneuvered so he could properly look at me with raised eyebrow. I found it a pain in the when he looked at me that way. Like he just knew he didn’t know something and he wouldn’t stop until he found out what it was.

“Stuff…” I lingered, not knowing that it would be this hard to say it to him. “I’m moving out.”

It was his silence that I heard this time, but before he could even open his mouth to ask what I could possibly mean, we heard the door (my door) slammed shut along with a few curses from my mother’s side.

I closed my eyes, counted from one to ten before standing up, leaving Sungmin.