Bang Yongguk and Jung Daehyun's first kiss occurred seventy-two days after Daehyun joining the group. Yongguk knew this because he counted down the days, everyday since Daehyun was dragged through his doors and dragged himself back out again. Yongguk remembered the moment vividly, like many other things, however this moment was the most important, the most significant. It was the reason he held on to Daehyun, the reason he allowed the man to live, because he thought Daehyun could do the same for him. He could bring Yongguk back to life, transform him into the man he used to be, a man who cared.

Yongguk entered the shooting room, his shoulders down and his head up. However, he couldn't stop his eyes from drooping and his steps faltering as he raised his arm to check his watch. 1:32am. He stumbled to a small desk in the corner of the dark room, his eyes falling on the shape of a gun, a battered Glock 17, he picked it up. Too many seconds passed before he noticed another presence in the room, before he registered the faint smell of fired ammunition. He whirled around, the gun gripped in his finger, the safety off.

The darkness couldn't hide the outline of the figure in front of him, the familiarity of the wide shoulders and strong arms, the way he stood with his feet ajar. Yongguk lowered his gun and moved to the side of the room to flick a light on.

"Daehyun," he said, his voice filling the room. "What are you doing here so late?"

"I'm practicing," he answered.

"At 1:30am?"  Yongguk questioned. He glanced at the gun in Daehyun's hand and the wounds in the targets behind him, the wounds in the wall were his aim had gone awry. 

"I'm not used to shooting guns, I'm more used to fighting with my fists. That doesn't seem so helpful for this kind of work." He explained whilst he moved the gun he held from his right hand to his left and then to his right again.

Yongguk watched for a moment but hated seeing Daehyun liked this. Ashamed, mediocre. In one step he was close enough to grab the gun from the man, prying it out of his hand.

"You could've asked me to teach you," Yongguk murmured, moving to the table at the edge of the room. "My first piece of advice would be not to carelessly throw a gun around, that's how you accidentally shoot something". He placed the guns in his hand down and turned, once again, to Daehyun. "You should get going, it's too late to be practicing this kind of thing." Yongguk ordered, reluctantly. He wanted his companion to leave, to sleep, to be awake tomorrow with a glimmer in his eyes. Not falling asleep during their morning meeting.

"What about you? What are you doing here so late?" Daehyun questioned, running his fingers through his hair.

For a second, Yongguk stared at his hands, captivated. When he remembered to reply, the only words that came out were "it's none of your business."

"I think it is. As a fellow member of your gang and as your friend..." He trailed off, taking a step towards the older man.

"I don't have any friends," Yongguk said.

Daehyun chuckled, the sound filling the room and invading Yongguk's mind, "we both know that's not true." 

In the dark, Yongguk could see Daehyun smiling, could feel the light radiate off him.

"You're a pain in the , Jung Daehyun. Stay here if you want, I don't care."

Yongguk made to leave, partly annoyed at Daehyun for challenging him but mostly annoyed at himself. How could he let this person get under his skin so easily? No one else made him feel so exposed.

The door handle was gripped in Yongguk's hand by the time he felt a pressure on his shoulder, Yongguk twisted his body in an effort to throw it off but stopped in his tracks when Daehyun's face hovered centremetres away from his own. Yongguk released a breath and moved again, in a feeble attempt to put some distance between him and the other man.

Yongguk knew his eyes would give him away, it took one glance from Daehyun, to know what he was thinking. Don't leave me alone. He must have looked pathetic but when Daehyun's lips met his he didn't care.

---

Monday mornings were often the worst. And even though Bang was exhausted after only sleeping for an hour the previous night, this Monday morning was one of the best he'd experienced in a long time.

He'd spent most of the night making out with a member of his gang, something he never thought would happen. He'd finally transformed from a notorious gang leader to an insane human being. He knew better than to let his feeling get the better of him but he couldn't stop himself.

He strode into their headquarters and tried to push his tired thoughts out of his head. He gathered around the table where the others sat waiting for him. The sun had barely risen yet Youngjae's eyes were glued to his computer screen and Jongup was fidgeting like a five year old. He sighed, perhaps he was growing too old for this. 

"You're late," Himchan murmured next to him, quiet enough that no one else could hear him.

"I know," Yongguk answered, "I had a late night."

Himchan raised an eyebrow but said nothing in return.

Daehyun entered the headquarters at that exact moment, his prescence brighter than usual. Yongguk noticed Himchan darkening gaze in the corner of his eyes and, once again, Yongguk sighed.

"Ok, now we're all here!" Yongguk declared, all eyes focusing on him as he spoke. "Everyone knows what's happening tomorrow, right?"

They'd been planning this for months - an acquisition of one of the country's wealthiest man's assets. Their plan had to occur as smoothly as clockwork.

Yongguk noticed everyone nodding around him but decided to recap, for his own peace of mind.

"Jongup will dispatch of Mr Lee; Zelo and Daehyun will raid his house to find the money and documents; Himchan and I will go to his company building to search everything there; And Youngjae will stay here to do all the technical stuff that I don't understand. Everyone understand?"

There were silent nods all around him.

"Don't screw it up," Yongguk reminded the gang before rising to find a little privacy in his personal office. 

Daehyun's presence behind him had become unnervingly familiar. He made no moves to stop the man from following him into his private office. When both their footsteps had silenced and he heard the click of the door closing, Yongguk spoke.

"So?" Yongguk said, still tired and still confused by the thoughts clouding his head.

"I just... I think... I..." Daehyun stumbled over his words.

"You're normally so chatty," a faint smile cracked on his face. "What's going on?"

"I want to get away from here." He stated, more confident now, "I'm tired of hiding how I feel about you. I know you're tired too. And we can't tell the others and I'm exhausted and I just want to be with you." He took a deep breath. "So, let's leave."

Many ideas had crossed his mind concerning what Daehyun wanted to discuss. But he didn't expect this.

The room was eerie for seconds, the quiet dragging. Yongguk tried to think. Could he leave with Daehyun? Would things work then? Could he leave all this behind? He knew that he wanted to follow Daehyun. But could he deal with the consequences?

However, there was a big difference between what Yongguk wanted to do and what he needed to do. The image of his gang members floated in his head, he tried to blink the picture away but he couldn't.

"I can't, Daehyun. I can't," he answered.

Daehyun didn't move, his limbs frozen, paralysed, "ok." The sound escaped his lips.

Yongguk's seriousness was written all over his face and Daehyun possessed no way to sway him.

"I'm sorry," Yongguk said, "I think you should leave."

"Ok," Daehyun breathed. 

Daehyun turned, he moved like he was wading through mud. His limbs hung heavily from his body and the effort he exerted was all consuming. But he managed to turn the door handle, walk out of that door and not look back. He didn't glance at the others as he left. He just walked.

Yongguk collapsed into his chair, the silence in his room, which was usually a comfort, stifled him. He lay his head on his desk.

Heartbroken.

This must be what it feels like to have a heart shattered. 

---

Monday evening's were often an improvement on Monday mornings. Today was the exception.

Yongguk dragged himself out despite his exhaustion, determined to get today's mission completed and out of the way. It was late evening, the sun had set about an hour ago so he walked in the dark to location between their headquarters and the target's location. For the second time that day, he was the last of the group to arrive.

"Daehyun's still not here," Himchan murmured beside him.

"I know," Bang said, and then loud enough for everything else to hear, "he's not coming."

Everyone gave him quiet looks, all weary of asking any further questions.

Yongguk turned to Zelo, "you can do what you need to do without him, right?"

Zelo nodded, "of course."

"Ok, guys let's go."

They made their way down an alley and soon split up, heading to their different locations.

All Yongguk could think about was that man's voice in his mind and the feel of his hands entwined in his own and it made him sad. But he couldn't leave this behind. He realised that, yes, he did have a heart. But it's entirety was reserved for his family. He wouldn't even dream of leaving them behind.

Author Notes:

• Thank you so much for reading <3.
• Sorry this chapter is short and took me ages to post.
• I finally felt inspired by bap's recent comeback.
• This is the second and final chapter, I always planned on this being a two-shot.
• I love Bangdae but I also always planned on this being sad and angsty