Yongsun sat perched on an old rocking chair, fidgeting with her fingers nervously and squeaking each time her weight shifted as she anticipated for a long lost friend with whom she was going to reunite. As she waited for her arrival, she tried to calm her nerves by looking at the old print in her hands.

It was an old charm she always carried around. She burst into a fit of giggle when she focused on the girl beside the younger, teenage version of herself in the photograph.

The girl’s expression when she looked at her sideways was funny and strangely adorable. It was a wonder how her expression never failed to entertain her after all these time she spent staring at the photo.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening. She turned to see a man in his white uniform, smiling kindly.

"Someone wants to see you."

She stood up, holding on to the rocking chair for support. "Is she the one who I've been looking for…?" The attendant nodded with his perpetual smile before he went out to her.

She waited with bated breath, her jaw slackening when a young woman entered. While her long, black hair had changed into shorter, light brown hair, Moon Byulyi remained the same as though time never left a mark on her.

She is still beautiful as ever.

"Hello, dear. It's been a while." She blurted excitedly and Byulyi turned to her in surprise.

"Oh, hello." Yongsun froze when she bowed low to her. The polite greeting was uncharacteristic of her.

She frowned. She waited for a much more amicable greeting as she observed her expression changing from surprise to confusion. She waited for her to give her a tight hug, a small speech about how much she missed her, or even a mere eye contact.

"Byul…" Yongsun lost her voice at the unfamiliar look in the other’s eyes.

Emotionless. Just like how she looked at me after that accident.

When Byulyi turned away from her and looked in the direction of where the attendant stood, her heart skipped a beat. What if she'd forgotten her again?

When the man came up to them and whispered in her ear, she finally showed a flicker of recognition in her eyes.

"Byulyi?"

Byulyi turned her attention to her unblinkingly.

"Do you remember me, Byulyi?" Yongsun asked slowly, subconsciously placing her hand over her chest. She looked at her longingly, dreading the truth behind her distant behaviour.

Byulyi smiled sheepishly but she shook her head.

"Oh…" Yongsun tried to smile brightly to hide her embarrassment, clutching her hand over her chest. It was disheartening to know that she had been forgotten for the second time but she was not the one to be let down easily. After all, it happened once and she managed to help her recover. She could always make it happen again.

If I waited for years, I could wait for her. This time, by her side.

Yongsun took a long, deep breath before she stood up to welcome her visitor.

"Will you stay for a cup of tea?"

"It's fine, gr--"

"No, I insist you should have a drink." Yongsun cut her off, feeling numb in her hands as she reached out for the blue kettle in front of her. Byulyi picked the blue kettle up and placed it in her hands before she could say anything.

"Oh, thank you! I could've gotten it myself."

When their eyes met, Byulyi immediately nodded and kept her head low out of courtesy. Yongsun barely suppressed her sigh but she pretended not to notice. Even though it still hurt not to be recognised after all of the years spent together, starting from scratch was the only thing she could do to be with Byulyi.

"Do you still like lavender tea?" Yongsun took a bag of lavender tea from the side table drawer without waiting for her answer.

"Ah… yes. Thank you." Byulyi answered politely.

"Please drop formalities. We're friends, Byulyi. Please have a seat here."

She looked flustered, cheeks flushing red. "I can't do that. You're a…"

"Stranger?" Yongsun laughed weakly, waving her hand dismissively. "Now, we're no longer strangers. Let's reintroduce ourselves. I'm Kim Yongsun."

She hesitated and looked behind over her shoulder for a brief moment before she spoke.

"Hello, Kim Yongsun-ssi. I'm…" Byulyi looked at her cautiously as she introduced herself. "Moon Byulyi."

"You don't need to say my full name. Here, have a seat." She gestured towards the old rocking chair.

"Okay, Yongsun-ssi."

Yongsun chuckled at her formality and again when she sat upright in her seat. This rigidness of hers was exactly what she remembered about Byulyi before they became best friends.

"How have you been?" She asked, pouring hot water into a white mug.

"…"

When her question met awkward silence, she glanced at Byulyi. She was biting down on her lower lip, twiddling with her thumbs, and eyes on anywhere but her.

She definitely heard her.

Yongsun began to feel uneasy about her nervousness, hoping that her unnecessary question won't be the end to their first and last conversation in years.

After a moment of careful deliberation, she finally answered. "I have been doing fine."

Yongsun wondered if there was more to her answer and she didn't want to share with her. Was it because she still saw her as nobody? What if she only remembered bad memories with her? Her heart sank.

She needs time to open up to me again.

Yongsun didn't dare to ask further, trying to stop the numbness in her hands as she struggled a little to unpack the tea bag. She heard the chair squeaked, distracting her from the task of making a cup of tea. Byulyi flinched when they locked eyes, lowering her gaze to the floor immediately. It was when Yongsun caught her glancing at her hands that she realised that she'd been watching her.

Yongsun turned away, trying to be natural as she placed the newly unpacked tea bag inside the white mug and stirred it. She gave the drink to Byulyi right before she sat beside her. Byulyi uttered her polite expression of gratitude and questioned her when she had nothing but hot water in hers.

"Why don't you have a drink too?"

"Oh, I can't eat or drink anything before my appointment."

Byulyi smiled sympathetically. They sipped their drinks in silence until she spoke up.

"The room is nice. Did you arrange them?"

Yongsun looked up to follow the other’s gaze, scanning through the simple layout of the one-person bedroom. On their right was a set of two-piece sofa surrounding a short legged coffee table with a portable heater underneath it and a neat stack of blankets laid atop the coffee table. On their left was just a small wooden wardrobe in a corner near the bathroom. In front of them was a single bed with a foldable white table, flanked by twin bedside tables, lined against the wall facing the only door.

It was a plain sight but it was comforting to hear her compliment because the old Byulyi would've also appreciated the homely arrangement.

"Yes, I did. Thank you."

"It feels cozy."

It feels lonely.

Yongsun sipped her drink when she almost expressed otherwise. "Yes, indeed. It's perfect for winter."

"Winter is ending soon. It won't be as cold as it is today soon."

Byulyi set her mug down on the table and held onto it tightly to keep her hands warm.

"The flower pattern on the kettle is pretty."

Yongsun felt her tension ease up a bit. "Yes, it is. You still have a good taste."

"Eh?"

"You were the one who picked this design…," She spoke softly, her voice faltering towards the end of her sentence when she realised that she made a slip of tongue.

Byulyi’s cheeks became red. "Oh… sorry. I don't remember."

Yongsun looked down to her mug, absentmindedly its rim as she fretted over her words.

"… Could you tell me more about it, Yongsun-ssi?" Yongsun caught her apologetic look -- it was more to a guilty look. She thought it nothing more than a guilt for not remembering her.

"Okay." Yongsun perked up beamingly. Byulyi nodded her head as a signal, barely maintaining their eye contact for a few seconds.

"We studied at the same high school. Even though I was one grade ahead of you, I'd heard of your name because you were popular. All-rounder at studies, passionate at sport, and well-behaved. My homeroom teacher used to boast about you during morning roll-call. My classmates used to discuss about you -- your best achievements no one managed to keep up."

"But we never met each other until one day, we finally met at a mall. I was on an errand for my mom and you were there for your cousin's housewarming gift."

Byulyi leaned forward in her seat.

"What happened then? How is this blue kettle related to you and my, me?" She asked, becoming intrigued by the story.

Yongsun looked back at the kettle. It was not the same kettle she remembered many years ago. Most of the paint had faded away; fine flowery pattern barely visible to one's eye. lt had small scratches and a few dents all over; beneath every dent was a story waiting to be told.

"We fought with each other at the first sight."

"What?" Byulyi exclaimed in surprise, her eyes wide open. That was the longest time she'd looked at her since their reunion. Yongsun giggled.

"Over this thing here. This blue kettle was one of your choices. You were in a dilemma over making a choice on colours and I was in a rush to get home. It ended up as a disaster when two oblivious girls collide. Especially when a huge sum compensation was involved."

"Collide? Sh-I mean, I knocked into you?" Byulyi repeated.

"Yeah, that's right. You're finally remembering correctly," Yongsun grinned widely. "Back then, and even a few years later, you insisted that it was my fault. That I didn't see you when I was rushing to the exit." She pointed at a round dent on the bottom of the kettle. "This was from that collision."

"Was it really my...  fault?" Byulyi asked, her brow slightly raised.

"Yes."

Byulyi didn't say much, only staring at her for a second. Yongsun thought it was just her imagination when she noticed how her lips turned slightly in a frown.

"Why are your eyes shaking? Are you okay?"

Yongsun laughed out of embarrassment. "I was hoping that you didn't notice."

Byulyi didn't react until she understood the meaning behind her laughter. "So… it wasn't my gra-fault," she muttered, a sly smile appearing over her face.

"Aren't you a bit too happy knowing that it was my fault?" Yongsun asked with a hint of playfulness in her small pout.

"Ah, no!" Byulyi responded rather defensively. "I mean… It was an accident we couldn't avoid. I just didn't expect… myself to be clumsy. I heard that I was a careful person."

"You're right. I remember you as a delicate person." Yongsun nodded.

Byulyi smiled wryly at her answer. "I'm sorry for not remembering you."

Her apology broke Yongsun’s heart a bit but she managed to put on a smile.

"Can you tell me more about myself?"

Yongsun felt hopeful at her initiative to remember albeit she was almost caught off guard by her forwardness. She was under the impression that she would take her time to open up to her.

"Yes, dear. As much as you want, I will tell you everything I know."

Then a warm feeling swelled inside her chest when Byulyi smiled brightly. The same expression captured in the photograph she dearly cherished. Her nose scrunched up, her eyes creases appeared, and her two front teeth peeked through when she smiled.

She is becoming the same Byulyi I know.

"Thank you, Yongsun-ssi."

Yongsun smiled, wishing that time would stop.

They continued reminiscing about their memories; although it was more like Yongsun was retelling their stories to Byulyi.  She hoped that she might remember something from those stories but by the time she finished retelling about their life in their twenties, it was already evening.

When Byulyi glanced at her wristwatch as a cue to take her leave, Yongsun reached out to her, feeling as though it’d be the last time she could see her.

“Before you go, can you give me a hug?”

Unlike the same person who was a mere stranger a few hours ago, she gave Yongsun her approval rather easily, stooping low to hug her. She closed hers eyes, feeling warm in Byulyi’s embrace and guilty at the same time.

This is wrong. 

She opened her eyes to see the attendant standing by the window and her own reflection next to him in the window – a frail, old woman desperately clinging onto Moon Byulyi who never seemed to age.

Time never waited and will never wait, not even for my beloved one.

Yongsun closed her eyes, fighting back her tears when she realised that it was reflecting the reality she'd been denying the entire time.

Byulyi never forgot me nor did she have the opportunity to forget me.

When the other pulled away from the hug and uttered her farewell, Yongsun wiped her tears off using the hem of her long sleeve.

"Thank you, miss."

The young woman halted in her steps towards the door, turning to her. “Yongsun-ssi?”

"I remember now. That Byulyi…," Yongsun didn't try to hold back her tears any longer, straining her voice to speak coherently. "She's dead. For a long time." She choked up. "I had the hardest time accepting the fact that s-she's gone… forever."

"I…”

"You just look so much like her. But no matter how much you look like her, you can't never become my Byulyi."

She avoided her gaze, looking down at her feet. "I'm sorry for fooling you."

“No, I’m sorry. I wasn’t in my right mind today.” Yongsun pulled out the old photograph, sniffling after she took a deep breath. “I should’ve realised sooner.”

Let’s meet up next time, Byulie-ah.

She whispered her last goodbye to Byulyi in the photograph before she tucked it away to properly face the reality.

"Will you visit me again?"

The young woman looked up in surprise, scanning Yongsun’s expression to see if she was serious.

“Not as Byulyi, but as the real you.”

Yongsun watched her part her lips slowly as she hesitated, eyes locking with hers. It was soft but she didn’t miss her answer.

“Okay, Yongsun-ssi.”

She beamed a hopeful smile.

“I will wait for you to come back.”