it goes a little like this;

boy meets girl

and a joyous love starts
filled with searing kisses, sultry looks, sweet nothings, silly antics and romance.

but, its not quite it.

boy meets boy

and a painful love starts

cause its so very very wrong

.

his mind is just so positive, so filled with possibilites, with what ifs, with coulds and woulds and hope, and is more than slightly consumed by the idea that he might love him too.

well, you can hope and dream and wish all you want, but it doesn't really matter, does it? when you have to sit and watch people like you being shunned by society and those they've always kept close.

.

some days, he thinks he loves him too.

those days when his stare lingers a little too long, and his lips are a little too close to his ear. when he grips a little too tightly and stand a little too close.

but then the sounds of woohyuns cries for attention, and the raucous that is sungyeol showing off a new dance, comes crashing down, filling his ears with utter nonsense.

but everything that myungsoo hears could be classified as utter nonsense, because the only thing he considers worth hearing is 'i love you' from a boy who is saying, something so awfully close to those exact words, to 5 other boys who could never appreciate them as much as him.

.

sometimes sunggyu wonders what he feels for myungsoo, because he stands out so much it nearly hurts.

magic does not do him justice, does not explain the feeling in his chest and his head and he is going to explode if he doesn't kiss him soon.

the rest of the group, the managers in particular, are breathing him down the neck and he can't do it any more, he really can't.

so he says the four words that could possibly get him killed.

"i need a break."

and, surely enough, he dies a little inside when sparkling eyes lack luster.

.

myungsoo throws himself into their upcoming comeback and focuses on dancing and singing and pain and glitter.

and sure, glitter is nice and all, but so is a working heart.

.

the stage is done and so is myungsoo, done with fake smiles, uncomfortable clothes and singing until his voice breaks.

he hurries backstage and slips in behind the stage, collapsing against the cold wall and breathes a huge sigh of relief as the group passes by with the question of his whereabouts resting on the tips of their tongues.

"what are you doing here?" an apprehensive voice rings out from somewhere, enveloped in the darkness.

"what are you doing here?" myungsoo tries, but lets the rebuttal go unanswered, getting lost in the forgotten memories and questions he wished he didn't have.

"looking for you."

and then sunggyu drops to his knees and kisses him in earnest.

its like they're bursting into life, making their hearts scream in colors.

they can taste lipgloss on eachothers lips; still, beneath that, they can taste chicken and hope and promises.

it tastes like heaven is breaking, exploding, showering over the two of them.

.

they've been sitting there, kissing for, how long they didn't actually know, when myungsoo pulls away.

"hyung.. what are we doing?"

"kissing." he laughs, which is almost good enough for myungsoo, but there is one more question that won't go away.

"do you love me the most?"

"i love all of you." he stresses, leaning in to kiss him again.

"that's not good enough."

they sit in silence for awhile before they join the rest of the group. with goofy grins and forced lies, and myungsoo feels like .

.

"they say you can choose who you like, not who you love." sunggyu tries, reaching for his hand on the way out of the studio.

myungsoo pulls away

"you can love many some of the time, but you cant love everyone all of the time." he responds sadly, walking away.

and he lets him.

.

a week passes and the cards have been thrown up in the air, because myungsoo is pressed against the wall and their lips are locked.

something hard is pressing against his thigh and he is squeezing a warm body around the middle, sungyeols shrill sound of surprise so very far away.

but its fine because they all knew all along as backs are slapped and sunggyu is fed a bigger pile of meat than hoya can shove down.

it goes a little like this;

boy meets boy

and a heartwarming love starts.

fin