it begins with a smile. gently curled lips. all thirty two teeth and the lining of pink gums.
 
that's how he steals your breath, and you don't even realize it.
 
not before its too late, anyway.
 
because when you finally do notice, he’s with your heart in his hand and he’s smiling.
 
but not for you, that smile is no longer for you. always for her, only for her.
 
always
 
not you
 
never
 
and all you can do is smile until your jaw cramps and your cheeks hurt, with bitter tears prickling the back of your eyes.
 
because there is nothing left to do, besides clenching your fists and grinding your teeth. you never had a say.
 
sunggyu hyung, meet minah-sshi
 
she is pretty, you admit. but not beautiful, not next to him, not to you, you think.
 
but it doesn't matter, his arm is around her small waist.
 
nice to meet you sunggyu-oppa
 
you shake her delicate hand, its contrasts starkly with yours, pudgy and rough.
 
if only you had long hair, soft curves and pretty little hands like her, then maybe.
 
but you don't.
 
so the corners of your lips continues to stretch and you feel like crying when he smiles at her with a smile that used to belong to you.