Prolog

Chanwoo has a lot of concern. He always does. Whether it's about his hairstyle that doesn't fit, his interview's answers that sound immature, his expression on stage that is so awkward, his singing ability that is still lacking, his family that he always misses, the fear of fans' rejection once he joined the team, line distribution mockery from some of his friends, and of course s' feelings. Those concerns are piled up in his big mind and there are some times that he wanted to unravel it one by one to others. Yet, the plans to tell s and share what he feels are always failing. Not because the members didn't want to listen, but the members always place him in a position where he would always listen.

One day, he wanted to tell Hanbin that he had bad day with his family but the leader came up to him first with another concern of his.

"I cannot write a song." he told him in serious facial expression. Chanwoo could only gulped down his saliva when Hanbin starts laying his head on his shoulder and boy, it feels heavy. It may sound exaggerating, but Chanwoo could feel the burden that the leader has to bear in his mind.

"It really drives me crazy. I cannot think of anything yet Mr. Yang asked me to submit the final materials tonight. How is it, Chanwoo? How if our debut is delayed again because he's still unsatisfied?" Hanbin whines, and when he said How is it, Chanwoo?, it doesn't simply mean that he should give a solution to Hanbin. He knows it really well that Hanbin only wants to be listened and soothed.

Then Chanwoo would only stay silent while (probably) patting the leader's shoulder. That is how everyday would go for Jung Chanwoo. Whenever he wanted to speak about his concern, the other members would come at him first with their own concern. Chanwoo, doesn't want to add burden or another concern for the members, lets his concerns go away with the wind.

It was until iKON were asked to do opening act in Bigbang's concert, Chanwoo finally learned how to deliver his concerns. He was sitting alone in the completely hidden corner on backstage while counting the sheeps in his mind like he always does before show. It's always his ritual to reduce the stage fright and he chose to be alone rather than talk it out with some other members that probably were more nervous than he was.

"What are you doing?" a man with dark hair and face has been prettily covered with make up came to him. Chanwoo, whose eyes had been completely shut and mouth couldn't stop muttering, was surprised by the figure that greeted him. He quickly stood up and bowed respectfully, his head was being half absentminded since half of his soul probably still traveled on imaginary land that he created before the man coming.

"H..h..hello, senior." he said, still bowing.

The man laughed heartily while mumbling cute that he could clearly heard.

"Sit down," he politely said, and Chanwoo didn't think twice to do what he ordered.

"What are you doing here?" the man asked again before shoving himself to sit beside Chanwoo.

"I'm... I'm..," he completely lost his words. Being caught up by his senior was never a scenario that he wanted to happen, "I'm practicing my line, Seungri-hyung nim," he said, couldn't afford to look at the other's eyes.

Seungri laughed again and patted Chanwoo's back softly, "Aigoo.., don't be too nervous." he could caught Chanwoo's thin smile after he said that, "Why are you here alone? Why don't you practice it with your members? Did they not accept you? Are you guys not getting along?"

Chanwoo quickly shook his head before Seungri's curiousity extended, "No. They accepted me and we get along real well, even they took care of me very well." Chanwoo flinched the edge of his shirt, being scared as Seungri's eyes etched to him, "..I just have a stage fright and I think I can handle it alone. If I were there and told the members, it would just add some burden and anxiety to them because I fully realised that I was not that good." he wrapped his sentence carefully, and being hopeful that Seungri wouldn't judge anything to the members any longer.

"You can actually share it to them. I believe they would listen to your concern." Seungri suggested, to which Chanwoo only nodded. Experienced with rookies' expression, the older knew that Chanwoo nodded only for the sake of agreeing Seungri. The younger was only trying to respect him and he doubted that Chanwoo sincerely accepted his suggestion.

"You know, you can talk anything to me right now. I'm a maknae in my team as well and I have ever been in your position too. As a maknae, I'm feeling proud that I can handle the older members very well," he giggled, "..you actually are with the right person right now to give you all advice about being maknae," he raised his eye brows and made a funny gesture.

Seungri could see Chanwoo tilted his head to meet his eyes and laughed with him. The older starts feeling hopeful, "..but if you never tell me then how could I give you the right suggestion?"

Chanwoo nodded, "..I could never tell my concerns to the members because I'm afraid it would burden them. I'm afraid it would bother their mood, and ruin their day to hear complaints from someone that joined them very last."

Seungri wrapped his arm around Chanwoo's shoulder and sighed, "You remind me a lot to my old self." he flashed a smile, "I also joined the last in my team, and I had a leader that hated me joining the team. He expected for someone else to fill in my position and it... hurt." he said, reminiscing the past, "..I also had a lot of concerns but I had no courage to tell them because.. how could I just go telling them when they didn't want to even hear me?"

"One day I thought that I should be the one to make the move and stop all the tension between me and members. I finally got an idea when Thanksgiving was about to come." Seungri drummed his fingers on Chanwoo's shoulder while thinking, "..I gave them letters. Each of them. Because they avoided talking to me and I couldn't tell what my concerns were, I decided to give each of them a letter. I said sorry, thank you, and all the things I felt toward them. I sincerely wrote it, then folded it neatly before put it on their bed."

"We became closer because of that letter." Seungri smiled proudly at the younger that looked at him with sparks in his eyes.

He silently was thankful to Seungri's story and slowly nodded at himself, "...letter?"

Why wouldn't I think of that?