Dear Hanbin hyung,

Hi. Hello. Haha. It’s awkward, isn’t it?

I actually don’t know what to write here, like really really don’t know, but I have promised myself to write a letter for each of you when the Thanksgiving coming. The reason? You said that the warmest and best gift that people can give doesn’t depend on how much it costs but how much it comes from our hearts. This letter, I think, is what’s truly coming from my heart. I’m sorry if what I write later may not be pleasing and it probably was not even half as beautiful as all of your lyrics, but hyung believe me, I’ve tried my best. If later you’re going to use the piece of my mind that I share here for your lyrics, then don’t forget to put my name in credit. Copyright issue is sensitive, though.

I’m kidding.

Hanbin hyung, the leader, the person I admire the most (after Bobby hyung, of course),

When I first met you in the company, I couldn’t think anything else but to be spaced out. I was scared. If I could be given a time machine, that time would be the one that I wouldn’t want to go back the most. I could see the fire in your eyes and the hate in your expression. Simply said, you didn’t like the idea of me or Junhyeong joining the group. Only six of you guys is what you’ve kept dreaming, and seeing myself coming into your way, it must’ve felt hurt. I could understand if you hated me, I could understand if you didn’t want to look me in the eye when you introduced yourself, because I didn’t think I’d be able to even do what you did if I were put in your shoes.

I thought my life had finally ended, I thought I’d be living hell after day one, but I was completely wrong. I thought you’d never accept me and it was truly unbelievable how you could still be nice to me, train me patiently, and even have the time to scold me when you can just not care about me. At that time I was thinking of how much effort you have put on me when you could just rest or train the other members that also being hung in the survival show. I was touched by your kindness and the way you care to your members. You’re younger than some of them, but you definitely can be relied on. It hit the peak of my emotion and I honestly was about to cry when you changed your lyrics in from five to six. You have no idea how thankful and glad I am to finally be included into the song that has been existed during the time I was not even around. I feel like finally being included into not only part of this team’s journey, but also part of your life too.

Hanbin hyung,

I’m sorry if I still could not repay all the kindness that you gave. I’m sorry that all I have to give to you is none other than pain after pain. I’m sorry that I only give you hard time after joining the group. People were rude and looking bad at you because of me. People easily judged you as a bully only from the some seconds video that they watched, but they never even knew the hours, days, weeks you spent without sleep to teach me hitting the right notes. I’m sorry that I still didn’t express myself well during that time, I’m really regretting that incident even until this second I’m writing this letter to you. I’m sorry that because of me, people think you’re selfish, people judge that you didn’t fairly distrib