Krystal could barely look up at Kai as he sat across from her in the living room of her apartment. She didn't know how much time had passed in which they'd been entrenched in such a tense silence. 

But what could she say? How could she even begin to express everything she was feeling right now, when she was still trying to figure it all out herself? How could she hope to communicate everything to him when Krystal had barely managed to keep herself afloat this time around? 

Worst of all, the sheer conflict of feelings left an uncomfortable sensation hanging in Krystal's gut; excitement over simply being near Kai, yet that never-ending sense of dread over what she now knew. She'd wanted to reach out to touch him when he stood by the door, and that feeling hadn't gone away. She'd immediately thought back to that kiss they'd shared, that kiss that seemed so long ago, yet in reality wasn't so distant. It had all felt so right back then, as if, for once, Krystal had finally gotten something right. That maybe, all the hurt and pain in her past wouldn't trail after her forever. Yet that kiss was mere precursor for all the pain that was yet to come. Now Krystal feared that if she even dared to touch Kai, more terrible secrets would come pouring out and try to drag her down with them.

The girls had all left the apartment to give them privacy - Krystal envied them. They wouldn't have to endure this awkward encounter, let alone witness it. Although Krystal and Kai were sat a mere couple of meters across from one another, she'd never felt so far away from him. Even when he'd disappeared for a few months, she never felt so estranged from her friend as she did right now.  

He looked tired, more tired than she'd ever seen him. In Krystal's mind, Kai was always the one so full of mischievous energy, so full of light and life that seeing him so withdrawn and and sallow worried her. The cognitive dissonance she felt seeing him him this way was more unbearable than the weight of the fear in talking to him, so Krystal finally spoke. 

"Why- why are you here?" her voice was a croak. 

His voice was a mumble, his eyes glued to the floor at least, "I had to see you." 

Something about that irritated Krystal, "Then look at me." 

Kai's eyes slowly rose up from where he'd been staring up at the floor, yet all Krystal saw was pain. Seeing him like this sickened her. Kai wasn't supposed to be like this. He wasn't the one who struggled with darkness and dread at every corner - Kai was the one full of light and life, the one who'd been there to help Krystal find the strength within herself not to give up. Yet the tables had turned, and Krystal was the one looking at someone who was struggling to cope with the days. She wondered if this was what Kai felt like to look at Krystal, or whether or not it was like this for everyone in her life. 

"Can you stop looking at me like I'm wounded?"

"You're acting like it."

"Why do you think I am? I can't sleep, I can't eat!" he stood up throwing his hands up in defeat as he began to pace the room, "Every day is the same, only the questions change. I get up, I get called into City Hall and sat down where some government crone makes me repeat everything. Over and over again. A circle I'm trapped in."

Krystal couldn't bring herself to say anything. Not just because of Kai's charisma having its way with her as per, but she actually wanted to hear what he had to say about it all. 

"It's horrible. I have to re-live everything that I spent such a long time trying to bury. But worst of all?" he looked straight her then, his eyes showing a thousand different pains, but also pleading, "Every time they ask me a question, make me tell or story or paint a picture, all I can think about is you."

She gulped. What exactly could she say to that? What could she even say at this point? Yet amongst the confusion and need for answers, Krystal finally found it in herself to speak up. 

"Was it real?"

Kai looked at her, incredulous and exhausted as he stopped his pacing. His eyes were dark like tunnels, "What?"

"Everything." Krystal fought with every inch of her being to keep her voice steady as she look Kai in the eye. She could feel her palms stinging from how tightly she was clenching her fists, the nails burrowing into her bare skin. But she didn't care; the pain was miniscule at this point, "The time we spent together. Our friendship. Was it real? Or was it a lie?"

"I- it wasn't."

"Then what changed? Why- why did you leave?"

Kai looked at her, his eyes steady and full of that determination she always saw in him - but only for a moment. A flash, bright like lightning, before his eyes softened, searching for something in her that made her heart thud and her palms sweat. 

"I told you. I couldn't lie to you anymore. Not when- not when I was beginning to fall for you."

Krystal was rendered speechless. She thought back to the kiss that they'd shared before everything had become so crazy, the kiss that was all passion and warmth, the way their lips had pressed together so perfectly and in-sync. Kai was the sort of person to show his feelings rather than out-right say it; hearing the words leave his mouth now only confused Krystal even more, in spite of everything being so crystal clear. 

Kai sighed heavily, slumping back down on the sofa across from Krystal, running a hand through his messy hair, hair that Krystal wanted so badly to touch for herself, yet couldn't. She didn't know what might happen if she so much as got close to Kai once more. Yet it was magnetic. It had always been so magnetic between the two of them, an inescapable tug that had tethered her to him since the day he'd sat down across from her in the coffee shop. In spite of the past and trauma that had been chasing Krystal this entire time, this tether had slowly brought Krystal into the light. But it was a tether Krystal also shared with someone else. 

Shouting sounded from outside the apartment. Amber and Sulli burst into the apartment, Sulli's voice uncharacteristically angry as she yelled at whoever was trailing behind them. Kai immediately rose from his chair, turning to face the door in an almost defensive stance as Amber and Sulli walked in, followed by none other, than Lee Taemin. 

A lump in Krystal's throat immediately formed at the sight of Taemin. He looked as put together as ever, wearing an undoubtedly tailored suit that annoyingly highlighted the perfect contours of his body. The mere sight and thought about his body was enough to make Krystal blush, considering the last time she'd properly seen him, she'd ran out of his apartment wearing his clothes. Along with it came the awkward reminder of what became of said clothes; once Krystal had eventually told the girls what happened with her and Taemin, Sulli went to work setting Taemin's clothes on fire. Hopefully he wouldn't be asking for them back any time soon. But his hair was a mess. The blonde that he'd tried so hard to remind Krystal was "honeyed blonde", was severely growing out at the roots, a tangled mess on his head where he probably hadn't washed it in a while. Even from a distance Krystal could see the nervous energy that danced about in his eyes, as if he'd had one too many cups of coffee. Yet as he caught sight of Kai, and eventually Krystal, that characteristic concern grew in his gaze. 

It took Krystal everything she had in herself not to collapse in on herself when Taemin looked at her, a single look that showed all the care, concern and worry that he'd carried with him their entire lives, all encapsulated in that one moment. 

Yet there was another impossible elephant in the room. Krystal had had such a deep, complicated involvement with both of these guys stood before her, and here she was for the first time, stood in a small space with the two of them. There was no getting out of this situation any time soon. 

Krystal didn't even get a chance to speak before the two guys started shouting at one another. 

"What the hell man? Why are you here?" Kai asked, his voice tinged with sheer frustration as he stood in front of Krystal protectively. 

"Oh sure, invite yourself in why don't you." Amber grumbled as she threw her keys down onto the counter, clearly unamused by the double-intrusion, "Why don't you just move in whilst you're here, not like you'll listen to us anyway."

Taemin ignored this quip entirely, "I could ask you the same question," he said accusingly as he stepped into the apartment, his hands in his pockets all regal-like as he stared down Kai. Krystal knew Taemin well enough to see that, in spite of his put-together appearance, he was trying his best to keep it altogether.

Sulli cursed loudly as she had to move to shut the door where Taemin hadn't bothered to close it, before stalking off down the hallway and mumbling something about never wanting to "see a man again". Her two freaky cats hung around the sofas, their big, creepy-looking eyes watching the scene playing out before them with feline interest. Krystal couldn't help but wonder what they thought was going on, and whether or not they could feel how awkward this encounter was becoming for everyone. 

Amber moved to sit by Krystal, taking a hold of her hand and looking at her in that secret way all girls communicated in: 'you okay?' 

Krystal could only shrug. She didn't even know the answer to that herself right now.

"You're not even supposed to be in contact with Krystal, let alone be in her god-damn apartment!" Taemin scolded Kai. He looked so intimidating as he stood there in his suit, his voice with that characteristic goading that Krystal imagined all lawyers to speak with.

"Why can't I be here? Why can't I see her?" Kai asked defensively. 

"Because you're a witness, you idiot. Any contact that's not on record could jeapordise the case." 

"But I care about her! Why can't I be there for her when I'm not