The last couple of months had gone by in a surreal and hazy blur. Mostly because time away from school and her work had left Krystal in somewhat of a limbo, but also because recovery wasn't an easy road.

Since that fateful day where she'd passed out in Mrs Kim's office, Krystal had been in and out of a rehabilitation centre and her parents' home. Her friends, boss and university tutor knew the reason behind her sudden absence, but other people thought she'd disappeared off of the face of the earth. Of course, Krystal didn't know any of this herself, since part of her recovery involved her downgrading to a brick-phone and having only emergency contacts. She'd been cut off from the rest of humanity for the time being.

On the occasions that Amber and Sulli came to visit her at her parents' home, they'd told her that Taemin had swung by on multiple occasions demanding to see her. As far as he knew, Krystal was on holiday with her parents. 

It hurt Krystal knowing that Taemin was still pursuing her; not because of the guilt she still felt about sleeping with and how right being with him had felt back then, but rather the burden of knowing why Taemin was still bothering at all. She couldn't help but wonder how his investigation into Jessica's disappearance was going, whether or not he'd made any advancements or was just as stuck as detectives had been all those years ago. Yet it didn't matter.

Krystal was finally getting better. And this time it seemed for real. Recovery was a winding, looping path with so many dead-ends and U-turns, but this time something felt different. Not only did her parents seem well and truly invested in her recovery, but Krystal was finally giving it all her best shot. 

The medication took some getting used to at first; for a few weeks it felt like nothing was really happening, but slowly and surely, something really did start to change in Krystal. Everything Mrs Kim said to her in their sessions finally started to make sense, all the questions she asked Krystal, she no longer felt the need to shut them down with some witty, back-handed and deflective comment. It was like there had been a knot in her mind that had trapped all the happiness in her life, and had made her forget that she'd ever been happy at all and sapped all desire to change - but now, that knot was slowly coming undone. 

The rehabilitation centre wasn't exactly heaven, but it wasn't exactly a prison either. The people were normal and forgettable, and she wasn't exactly there to make friends either. However, it was the creative sessions that really left an impression on Krystal, the group art sessions where she'd easily spend hours painting and drawing whatever still life image had been set up in front of them, and losing herself to the process.

Moving back in with her parents in the meantime hadn't been as disastrous as she'd figured either. Above all, she feared her parents reaction to her mental issues, feared the embarrassment and disdain they'd feel, given that they came from a generation that didn't believe in mental health. 

Yet they'd proven to be the exact opposite.

Her mother, would constantly fawn over her, having purposely reduced her hours at the fashion house to be at home whenever Krystal was out of the centre. She hired a yogi to come teach the two of them in their home, not to mention regularly took Krystal out for spa treatments at the weekend. Her mother also proved more saintly than Krystal anticipated, since she never asked about the one topic that Krystal feared above all others - boys. 

Her father had also proven empathetic, and even offered to fly all of them out to LA for the month, just to relax and get away from the city. For the first time in a long time, Krystal really felt like she was part of the family, a loving, somewhat whole family that maybe wouldn't forever be shadowed by the absence of their oldest daughter. Maybe, just maybe, this would be the closest to 'normal' that Krystal would get.

Whilst there was still the lingering pain from what had transgressed between herself and Taemin, Krystal found herself slowly mending from that betrayal, even found herself tempted to call Taemin every now and then just to hear his voice and entertain whatever excuse he had to offer. But she couldn't bring herself to do so, not without betraying that part of her that deserved a sure shot of recovery without anyone holding her back. Kai hardly crossed her mind these days either - only when he did, Krystal could only feel that same stab of betrayal. He didn't even bear thinking about anymore.

Above all, Krystal was grateful now more than ever for the support of her friends. The rough patch that she and Amber had suffered through was now a distant memory, although Krystal couldn't help but spare guilty glances at Amber every time she turned up to visit her every few days with her Netflix account and books she'd find for her to read. 

Sulli seemed to be taking a page out of Krystal's book, and had vowed to stop dating until Krystal recovered, her logic being if that trauma was ruining Krystal's life, men was ruining her own. Each to their own, but Krystal was happy to see her friend get out of bed for something other than meeting a new guy every day. Maybe time to focus on herself was what Sulli really needed right now. 

Luna and Onew turned up with baked goods from her favourite bakery in Itaewon, the two of them now the perfect, smiling couple that made Krystal both happy and jealous. Key would come every now and then with cute clothes he'd find form indie brands in the city, but more interestingly, he'd always have the latest gossip he'd hear in his celebrity circles. 

"You know I was at a photo-shoot with Lay the other day," Key explained as he slumped down on the chair next to Krystal's, placing a powder-puff blue bag full of pastries and coffee on the table in front of them.

"You're still sneaking into these high-end fashion events?" Krystal raised an eyebrow at him amusedly.

"Actually I think you'll find that I was actually invited! I was allowed to help curate the accessories for this shoot - even if I was only an assistant..." he trailed off before aggressively stuffing pain au chocolat into his mouth, "Anyway!" he exclaimed with a stuffed mouth, "Apparently Kai is back in town."

Krystal almost choked on her green tea, "Wha-What?"

Nodding, Key continued, "Yep. He's been back for a few weeks. Apparently he's now at college full-time, and I also heard that he's been looking for you."

"I don't- I don't get it?" Krystal said, "If he was looking for me, surely Amber or Sulli would've told me?"

"That's what I thought," Key replied, "So I asked them. Turns out he genuinely hasn't shown up at your place."

"Why not?"

"I mean, if I was a younger guy looking for you, I'd also be terrified of your housemates."

"True."

"So I told Lay to tell him that you were on holiday with your parents." Key sighed, "But maybe you should talk to him."

"Why should I?" Krystal scoffed, "He took off that night without an explanation or word why. Do I owe him anything?"

"No. But you were holiday," Key shrugged, "And I imagine that Kai, along with the rest of Seoul, saw that picture of you and Taemin at the Mayor's Ball. I wouldn't be surprised if that kid got a few questions for you."

*

"So, I'm happy to tell you Krystal, that you are halfway through the course of your therapy and medication!" Mrs Kim beamed from her leather chair opposite Krystal, "The progress you've made these past couple months since starting your medication is truly exceptional."

"Wow." Krystal said. She wasn't even sure what to say at this point. Those were never words she thought she'd exactly hear, yet here she was, a few years' worth of hurt and pain behind her already, her future seeming a little less foggy and more bright for the first time. Things were finally looking up. 

"Wow indeed," Mrs Kim smiled warmly, "The transformation we've seen in you is truly remarkable, and it's safe to say, that we can soon see you discharged from the centre - permanently."

Krystal couldn't fight the smile that overcame her. A smile she really felt, not one she was putting on to get by or convince someone