Money, fame, love.

Living under the flash of the cameras had once been a dream of a naïve young boy. Standing on the stage before his own ocean of light sticks and banners, singing and dancing to cool songs in a foreign language and to the cheers of thousands of young girls, who are head over heels for him and would happily scream just because of his single wink; these all had once been his big dream, the one that had actually made him decide to sacrifice the rest of his normal teenage years just to achieve it. He had been so determined that even when his mother had been against his will, still he had insisted to go. Hence, with his father's support, the young boy had left his homeland to pursue his dream.

He had come to the nest of his idols as an ordinary exchange student. Never once had he imagined that one day he would leave the country as what had been his old dream; a star.

As the adolescent grew into a young man through the years, far away from home, he saw that the life he had been dreaming of wasn't all that glittery. Through the agency he had finally learnt about human's basic nature; greed. For fame, for money. Bodies be black and blue, money be flowing in, fattening the already huge company. Greed beat humanity. It had disappointed the boy, to say the least. It was true that he loved his fans, those who had supported him all the way to that point, but he could not live that life of a puppet forever.

And so, before the agency could push him past his limit and finally crush him, with a broken heart and a wounded body he decided to go back to where he belonged.

Home.

He had expected his mother to say, "I told you so," or his father shaking his head at him disappointedly, but what he got once he came home were only two pairs of warm, open arms.

"Welcome home, son."

Seeing the loving smile and the faint wrinkles on those too familiar faces, it finally came to his mind that he had left home for way too long. How many precious moments that he might have missed spending with his parents as he grew up? They seemed older than he could remember! He couldn't help but wish he still had much time to pay back the wasted years and missing moments.

This worry alone was enough to break him apart in his parents' hug. He knew he had nothing but his talents and fame to make them proud; he hadn't gone to university to study business or anything useful that his mother had expected back then, he didn't have that kind of knowledge. Those times, those chances to live a normal adolescent life had passed by. And so, as he apologized through his regretful tears, he promised to himself that he'd double up what he had for the sake of his parents' pride and happiness. The money he got from that agency; he would get much more than that from then on. Whatever his parents wished for, he would strive for it.

Including their wish for a daughter-in-law and some grandchildren... which he hadn't found out how to achieve.
 

"Xiao Lu, now that you've come back home, you can start looking for a lady and get married soon. Don't forget your age, Son, you're lucky that you have our youthful looks! Back then when we were your age, we were already busy finding a perfect date for our wedding day. At least you must get married at twenty seven or twenty eight, your mama and baba can't wait to have some cute little grandchildren!"

Sigh. The Lu parents' voices invaded the poor young man's head once again, at the very wrong timing, just enough to blow his sweet smile off his face and put his hyperactive gestures to a halt. Luhan stared blankly at the floor with a pout on his lips as everyone around him fast-walked – almost running – back and forth; a guy was shouting instructions at the others, some men were dancing and stretching their bodies in the corner, and some ladies' hands were touching the young star's middle-parted dark brown locks and blank pretty face as if they were dressing up a doll. It was certainly every fangirls' dream job, to be his makeup artist or hair stylist, but the not-that-young ladies were almost used to seeing the pure perfection – they were more concerned about the ticking time instead.

It was the day of his very first showcase, the start of his journey in his solo career, after he had left everything behind – his heart, his passion, his family – in the fancy country of South Korea. It had been a tough decision for him, but a year had passed and he was determined for a new fresh start. He was going to reload everything and work harder from then on!

But, twenty seven or twenty eight... How am I going to get a girlfriend and marry her in just two-three years? I don't want to go on a blind date, the feeling has to be right.

This thought had been bugging him so much that it had started taking its toll on him, not to mention the little urges that naturally came from his mature body of a man. Like what he had felt that morning, when he had just woken up. He might act and look like a little kid, but the truth that he had lived for twenty five years – and that his body was absolutely ready for breeding – could not be denied.

"Five minutes to go! Luhan, get ready!"

"O-Oh, yes!" Focus, focus! He tapped his cheeks lightly and started going around the backstage again, busy making funny gestures and flailing his limbs around to relax his muscles, accidentally smacking a backup dancer on the face when doing so. It had happened more than once, really. Everyone knew and understood that this man was a kid at heart, so the dancer just shrugged it off with a grin.

"Save all the energy for the stage, man."

And the time finally came. Once he stepped his foot on the stage, the familiar rush of adrenaline pumped through his veins, the same feeling that he had missed for so long and that scared him a tiny bit, because there was going to be only him in the spotlight. When he came into sight, cheers began to erupt here and there, getting louder and louder when the music started to play.

"Hear the crowd, go! Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh~"

"Kyaaaaaa~!"

As the idol sang, danced, and skipped around the soccer field-themed stage like the cheerful deer he was, he swept the crowd of screaming girls that sounded like a bunch of pelicans with his twinkling eyes and he could see an orange sea of his name, "Lu" in Chinese character. This time they were all girls, definitely no boys in sight! The deer couldn't help but think, Could my future wife be here in this place? But then he pushed the thought aside and mentally scolded himself, Silly me! Thinking about this during my first concert!

"LUHAAAAAAAANNNNN! TURN AROUND, LOOK OVER HERE!"

That one surely beat the others' cheers. Indeed he was curious to see the very loud girl, but he had to focus on his dance.

"LUHAAAAAANNNN! LUHAAANNN! MANLY LU GEEEE!"

Pfft yeah, that's right, girl. Call me manly. Luhan crouched down on the edge of the stage and waved happily, letting the girls grab his hands as if their lives depended on them. Then he stood up, crouched down on the other edge and waved again.

"LU GE! LUHAN HOLD MY HAND! LUHAN I LOVE YOUUU!" That voice again. Luhan was sure enough the voice came from the side he was facing, and yet he couldn't see from which girl it was. What caught his eyes was just a big banner being waved vigorously, hitting some heads around it, with a big glittery pink writing of, "LUHAN, PLEASE MARRY ME!" and lots of hearts all over it. The shy boy's ears flushed a little bit. After all those years, he was still not used to that extent of the fans' love demonstration for him. It was far in the middle of the section and the person holding it was blocked by the other bunch of girls, only a pair of snow white tiny hands were apparent.

But then again, wasn't it normal to see that sight once in a while for someone like him? So he got up just in time to return to his spot in the middle of the stage and finished the performance in a super manly way. His mind never went back to the loud girl until the last song for the mini concert; he realized that the voice had stopped coming and the banner was nowhere to be seen.

Did she leave? Maybe she got tired and thirsty. Why did he even bother thinking about this one unique fan anyway? She could leave whenever she wanted.


"Just let me stay by your side,
Whenever you are happy or in despair
Just like how you would stay with me

The world never stops changing,
The crowd never stops moving
I want that each and every sunset you're next to me
If one day you forgot all of our promises
It's okay, at least we still have this song
I'll sing it for you again."


If only I actually had someone to sing this song to...

Blank. He spaced out for a second and the rest of the song's lyrics happily flew away from his head. No, I forgot the lyrics! No, no, no, don't panic, Luhan. Be professional! He directed his microphone at the crowd, motioning them to sing along, although they just went "kyaaaa~" instead of actually singing. Once he managed to calm his mind down and reloaded all the lyrics, he retracted his microphone back and continued singing. Smooth.

Involuntarily he flew his gaze back to where the loud girl had been, and he swore he could see her there grinning at him, holding her banner with one hand and giving him a thumb up with the other hand. Somehow she had managed to move to the front row, close to the stage. He could then see her face clearly.

She was indeed a cute one. Who would have guessed the constant wild screaming actually came from such a delicate girl? Her face looked like one of a doll, with thin, kissable soft pink lips and a pair of twinkling round eyes that almost reminded Luhan of Chanyeol’s, one of his ex-bandmates in EXO. Her long black hair was even darker than the Iced Americano Luhan drank every day, forming natural, loose yet delicate waves from her shoulders down past her chest. A little bit of her bangs were tied back, but the rest of the strands were left falling on both sides. Perhaps with that she could kept her hair out of her field of sight that was meant for her Lu ge only.

Cute, Luhan thought absentmindedly.

And that was how he met her for the first time. The crazy yet beautiful fan of his. But why would he call her crazy?

Because from that day on, she kept on appearing wherever he was, and anyone could easily conclude that she was most likely a Chinese sasaeng. From his experiences in Korea, sasaengs were far from nice and they didn't even act like true fans at all. They freaked him out instead.

That night after his first mini concert, when his car stopped at the red light on the way home, a taxi stopped next to him and his eyes made contact with a pair of beautiful round orbs of a lady, gazing at him through the passenger's window with a love-struck smile plastered on her lips. It was her.

The light turned green and the somewhat terrified deer told the driver, "Can we go faster? We're being followed by a fan."

"Are you sure it's a fan?" Lao Gao, his buddy and his manager who was sitting in the front seat, asked without even bothering turning his head. "How can you tell it's a fan? There were hundreds of them. You might be mistaken."

"But I saw her during the concert. Look, she's still behind us! I don't want her following me, look what time it is. She must go home."

"Maybe her house is in the same direction. Just wait for a bit more." And, as always, Lao Gao was right. After some time, when Luhan turned his head back to see the taxi again, what he found was only an empty street behind them.

He could then sit back and sleep in peace, after the whole tiring day. And after the second time he saw her.
 

The third time Luhan met his “crazy” fan was a day after the first mini concert. Dressed in his usual disguise, with a cap, a black mask and a jacket, the coffee lover young star went to a coffee shop to grab the daily dose of his need, just a cup of his favorite; Iced Caffé Americano. As he went there alone, he chose to wait at the counter instead of taking a seat so that he could leave right after he got his drink, in order not to attract any attention. Even when only his eyes were visible, a small group of girls had formed outside the coffee shop, directing their cameras right at him. Am I that easy to recognize? he wondered.

If he had to be honest, this was one of the things he didn’t like about having a life of an idol. Just when he was about to enjoy himself, out of nowhere came those cameras that sometimes even trailed him around to places. It had once stressed him out, but then he had grown used to it, even though at times it still made him feel uncomfortable. Like that day. Intentionally avoiding eye contact with the cameras, being the originally shy boy he was, he looked around the cozy café and took his time admiring the classy decorations. He just hadn’t expected to spot one walking around – not exactly a decoration, but pretty enough to beautify the café even more.

Luhan’s eyebrows raised in surprise as his eyes followed the petite girl’s movements, walking across the room towards the counter with a tray in her hands, stopping right before his eyes.

From the uniform she was wearing, it was easy to tell that she worked at that café; something that people wouldn’t have expected if they met her somewhere else because of such a youthful look of a young high school girl she had. Unlike the day before, she had her long hair tied up into a bun, letting a few soft strands of hair fall on her long nape and some framing her tiny face. Even though the idol in disguise had only seen her twice, somehow he could recognize her in just a glance – perhaps it was those smiling eyes that assured him he couldn’t be mistaken, or that very deep black hair, or those intriguing lips.

“Let me help you,” she said kindly towards the seemed-to-be new guy who was working on Luhan’s drink. She didn’t seem to notice her customer’s doe eyes there, because then she turned her back to him to start working without at least greeting him first, like what he had expected to happen. After finishing the order and putting a straw across the lid of the big-sized plastic cup, she turned around with her best smile stretching her lips and her eyes curving into crescents, forming an equally beautiful smile. Sadly all of those faltered once she finally realized who was standing before her and her hands weakened all of a sudden. The cup tilted slowly as she gaped at the pure doe eyes that were widening in horror at the drink.

“Hey, hey, watch out!” Luhan’s hand reached for the cup by reflex to hold it from slipping down, but luckily the girl was fast enough to get a firm grip after the angelic voice snapped her back to her senses. She apologized and handed the drink to the tall guy scratching his nape awkwardly, and then bowed deeply to add to her apology, with her hand pressed on her chest to calm her jumping heart down.

“I-I’m sorry, Lu— Lu ge. Enjoy your drink, thank you for coming.” She muttered something under her breath that Luhan's ears failed to catch, blowing some strands of her bangs up as she puffed out her cheeks.

“Uh, thank you. But… umm,” Is it okay to ask? “you’re the girl from yesterday, right? I mean, on the way home, I guess we saw each other.”

The girl lifted her head and Luhan had to stab the lid of his cup with the straw and quickly take a sip behind his mask to hide his gulp once his eyes met with those beautiful large brown ones. They reminded him of chocolate balls. “You remember me?”

“Yeah,” Luhan chuckled, “so it was really you.” Truthfully he just wanted to ask, did you really follow me last night? But wouldn't that be rude to ask directly?

“I-I-I was on the way home, I thought I was just hallucinating when I saw you in that car,” she said, and mumbled the rest of her sentence under her breath, “I must’ve looked stupid.” And then suddenly she grabbed a piece of clean tissue and gave it to the idol with her head down, “Here, extra free tissue. Thank you for coming! I’m sorry but please move aside a little bit, there is a customer waiting behind you… and some girls taking pictures outside.”

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Luhan took the tissue and moved aside by reflex. What am I doing, really? I should’ve left immediately! “I’ll leave now, thank you!”

“No, I’m sorry.” The young lady apologized once again and sent her idol away with a rather sad smile.

Outside, Luhan rushed through the small crowd of girls and hopped into his car, quickly driving away after waving and smiling at his fans, being the kind and sweet idol he was. He sipped his iced coffee and shook his head at himself.

Silly me.

Then that he thought about it… Was it really okay to have a personal talk with a fan, like he had just done?

Well, why not? Truthfully the young singer-actor didn’t want to create that kind of boundary with his fans – although privacy was still an important matter to him – and the fan who got to have a little face-to-face chat with him like that could just consider it her luckiest day ever, because it might not just happen again even in a thousand years.

What he had to worry about was only one thing, which was his aggressive-possessive young fans. One little act caught on camera could lead to a major bashing problem and the supposed-to-be lucky fan might end up having her house burnt down by some angry teenage girls. He had never said it openly, but he wished they would mature up and accept the fact that he would actually marry a woman someday. Just one, not all of them.

But he supposed, yes, it should be okay for him to socialize with his fans. In fact, he knew he had to interact more with girls. He had to find a girlfriend soon anyway. He just wasn’t sure if he should really open up to the fans, the ordinary ladies, in a romantic way… or if it was going to even work. How could he be sure whether it was true love or just a love for an idol?

As he spent his days wondering about it between his packed schedules, his one crazy yet beautiful Lufan began to show up more often and stick around him whenever there was a chance. Was that an obvious chance for him, or a threat he should be aware of, the one that he knew well as a sasaeng?
 

Several months had passed since the first showcase and the most well-known deer of China was then busy shooting for his second movie, entitled "I Am a Witness". The female lead was a top Chinese actress named Yang Mi, a beautiful woman four years older than him. How his mom had been so excited when she had found out her son had been about to work with the goddess.

“Xiao Lu, it’s definitely your chance!”

"Ma, she has a spouse already. Besides, I see her as an older sister."

"Then when are you going to work with a young and single lady? The one from your previous movie is also older than you, and even has a husband!" Yeah, Zishan jie even made me call her granny... "Now, Xiao Lu, it doesn't have to be a star or an idol like you if it's too hard to find one. A normal girl is okay, as long as she is a good girl. Although mama hopes you will find a smart and beautiful one, with a good family background, of course."

Then it was possible to date even a fan, wasn't it? Those girls actually had a chance. It was just a matter of how he would approach a girl, because he was a shy and awkward little deer and he wasn't even sure if he was ready for a love life, with his busy schedule and all. But he had to be ready, as he was racing with his age.

Speaking of the fans, by then Luhan had grown used to his crazy fan's existence – actually he had stopped referring to her as "the crazy fan", because it turned out she wasn't crazy at all and she had never done anything that could harm him so far. She just stood there and happily watched him doing his activities, sometimes bringing a unique banner with her, sometimes cheering and shouting louder than a mother giving birth to her baby. Lately the idol had been wondering about her name, and he looked forward to the chance when he could directly ask her.

There was also something unique about her that he couldn't miss; it was her clothing. She always wore the same outfit each time he saw her, except for the time when he had met her at the coffee shop, when she had worn her uniform. It was a black sweater with a picture of two big red cherries in the middle of the front part, and some white lines around the wrists and the hem. The sweater was always paired with the same thigh-length black skirt that showed off her slender snow white legs, even in the cold winter. Luhan wondered how she could take the chilly air without looking freezing at all. The shoes she always wore and the small backpack that were always hanging low behind her back were also in black. All as black as her hair. It was clear that she loved the color black, but were her clothes all the same? Luhan was curious to find out.

It was three in the chilly morning and the crew were scattered around the park where they were shooting a scene for the movie. It was break time and there were some fans watching him skate around with his rollerblades. Realizing their presence, a soft smile curved on Luhan's lips as he tightened his jacket and turned his direction towards the small crowd. The girls squealed in joy when they saw the handsome young man coming closer to them.

"Hey! What are you guys doing out here at this time? Your parents would be worried," the idol greeted his fans with a warm friendly smile, much to melt their hearts and warm their freezing bodies.

"We're here to watch you filming the movie! Lu ge, jiayou!" the fans answered and cheered for him happily.

"Ah, thank you," Luhan rubbed his nape and laughed shyly, bowing slightly at the girls. "We are finishing soon, you should go home too. Do you all live around here? Don't tell me you came all the way here from far places just to watch me."

It wasn't that Luhan didn't notice the presence of the black cherry girl – that was how he addressed her then – while he was chatting with the fans there; she was standing behind the others, quietly watching him with rounded excited eyes and a happy smile on her small lips. It looked like she was about to say something, but she kept it in, because the other girls were just equally eager to talk to him. Should I talk to her? Luhan wondered. She probably lived far away, remembering the time when the idol had thought she had been following him after the first showcase. The road where her taxi had disappeared was far, far away from that park.

He contemplated and tried to find the right words to ask her, Hey, what about you, black cherry girl? Do you live far away? No, no, no, I shouldn't call her that. You, the girl at the back with long hair and the black cherry sweater. Nope, too long. You--

"Luhan, come back here! Break time's over."

"Y-Yes! Coming!" Maybe next time then. "Bye, girls, go home soon! Be careful on the way!"

“Bye-bye, Lu ge! Jiayou!”

By the time they finished filming, some of the fans had gone home, but the rest were still there. She was still there too, but away from the crowd – she was hiding behind the crew’s car and Luhan didn’t fail to spot her when he was about to get into the said car. When their eyes met, both of them froze, and the young man’s heart skipped a beat. Gosh, she surprised me! Uh… Is it maybe the right time to talk to her now? He flew his gaze around and saw the crew still packing up their stuff. Maybe a little talk is okay.

“…Yo.”

“…Umm, yo?”

Luhan smacked himself mentally for the super awkward opening. How was he going to find a girlfriend that way, really?

“Umm… What are you doing there? You should be going home now,” the idol offered a friendly smile, though it did not help the awkward atmosphere.

“Oh… I have something for you!” As if she had just remembered her main purpose hiding there, the girl took off her backpack abruptly and opened it, but froze midway when her hand made contact with something warm inside. “That is… If you want to take it.”

“Oh?” The doe eyes lit up in curiosity. “What could it be? Can I see it?”

“It’s…” Ever so doubtfully, the girl pulled out what seemed to be a bottle and gave it to the idol with her somewhat shaky hand. “It’s hot chocolate. I was going to bring you some coffee, but then I thought you’d need much sleep after this and coffee would keep you awake. This– This should warm your body.”

The warmth from the bottle in Luhan’s hand slowly flowed to the tips of his body, reaching far to his eyes as he felt touched by the girl’s care and all her effort for him. He definitely needed that kind of attention of a woman! Suddenly he felt like he was ready enough, if it meant having someone to take care of him.

But then his emotional moment was cut abruptly as the message his mama had always told him when he had been just a kindergartener – or more like him talking to himself – echoed in his head, ”Xiao Lu, don’t take anything from strangers. They may seem nice and kind, but their sweets are deadly poison that will hurt your tummy.” “What is poison, Mama?” “It is worse than when you drank a pill and then a worm came out of your tummy when you pooped.”

Luhan cringed to himself. Noticing that, the girl waved her hands aimlessly and said in panic, “I- I didn’t put anything in there, just pure hot chocolate! It’s… It’s okay if you don’t want it. Or should I drink it first to prove it? Oh wait… that would be indirect kiss if we drink from the same bottle. I-I mean! Just… forget what I said.”

The black cherry girl bowed her head and rubbed her arm sheepishly while mumbling under her breath, “I’m so embarrassing.” The stunned deer watched her with his eyebrows raised comically and his lips forming a tiny ‘O’, thinking, this girl really Is full of surprise.

“Xiao Lu, what are you doing there? Get in the car,” Lao Gao’s voice could be heard faintly from afar and Luhan straightened up by instinct, covering the girl with his body from being seen. It wasn’t clear why he had to do that, he himself wondered why. It should be completely okay for Lao Gao to see him interact with a fan.

“Alright, I’m- I’m just checking the wheel! Wait up!”

“Silly answer,” the girl giggled quietly. It was Luhan’s turn to get embarrassed.

“I couldn’t find any other answers,” Luhan rubbed his nape before suddenly deciding to open the bottle, to the girl’s surprise. “I must go now, don’t stay outside at times like this, okay?” And with that he downed all the warm drink in just a few big gulps, finishing it in no time with a satisfied sigh and a big smile. “So good!” Worth pooping worms indeed. “Now I remember, you work at a coffee shop, don’t you? No wonder this tastes so good.”

“Yes, thank… Thank you.”

In less than five minutes, Luhan found himself in the passenger seat of the car, creepily smiling to himself as he gazed at the running street lights outside. Perhaps it was the hot chocolate that he could still taste on his tongue, or maybe the brief contact with the mysterious girl’s warm hand when he had returned the bottle; he felt tingling warmth all over his body that made him feel funny. It was strange, but he was just simply happy.

”I’ll stick around for a long time, Lu ge. I hope you’re not bothered by my presence, if you do notice me there.”

“I do notice you. I’ve seen you many times, actually.” He got a happy smile. “How did you know all my schedules? It’s not that I’m bothered, but you should not make your parents worried. Don’t you still go to school?”

“…Umm.”

“There, you should focus on your study too. Oh, I really must go now! Lao Gao’s in the car already. Bye-bye!”

“Oh! S-Sorry for holding you here. See you tomorrow, Lu ge! Have enough rest.”

“Luhan, why are you smiling?” Lao Gao’s voice dragged the deer’s mind back to reality. “Is it because of the scene earlier? Are you happy that you could hold your Mi jie’s hand and sing for her?”

“Huh…? What? N-No! That’s… That’s not it.” Should I tell him?

“Then?"

"It's... Uh, I got something from a fan." He could never hide anything from his buddy anyway.

"Wow, a gift?" This time Lao Gao turned his head to the deer, amused by his answer. "What is it?"

"Hot chocolate. Tasted really good!"

Despite Luhan's happy smile, Lao Gao cocked an eyebrow skeptically. "You drank something from a fan? What if it were a poison? You might be found dead in your room tomorrow, Xiao Lu, don't take anything from strangers carelessly," he lectured the boy like a mother.

The deer's bright smile slowly faltered into a pout as he held his tummy. "My tummy doesn't hurt though. Besides, I don't want to think negatively about my fans. I've... I've met and talked to her before, actually. I-I believe she's a good girl."

"Hmm. Interesting," the wise friend rubbed his chin, "so you're opening up to a fan. I'd like to see this lucky girl."

"It's-- It's not like that! I've only talked to her twice. I don't know how old she is, she might be just a high school student. I... I don't even know anything about her." Right. I've seen her many times, but in fact, she's still just a stranger.

And he forgot to ask her name. Again.
 

It was early August in 2015, a tiring day for the deer idol, as usual. His filming for his latest movie had long ended and he was then busy travelling around for the press conference, together with his two lovely seniors; his Yang Mi jie and Yawen ge. The Lufans hadn't found out, but he had also been filming his own variety show while doing his bunch of activities. It was going to be a surprise for his beloved fans.

That night after the press conference and his other activities following after, Luhan returned back to the hotel with Lao Gao and his staff, being all smiley and energetic even though the others obviously looked exhausted. And yet, after he separated with the staff and then with Lao Gao, who chose to sleep next door to give him enough space to rest on his own, his smile eventually flew away as a tired sigh escaped his parted lips. A thousand thoughts attacked, invading his mind as he dropped his worn out body onto the bed with his limbs spread open. He let his eyes close for a moment and heaved out yet another sigh.

As he recalled the events that day, he remembered when he had fallen down on the stage when skating around with his rollerblades. That was a little embarrassing. Also when a fan asked him about the silliest rumor he had ever heard; him, getting into a marriage. He absolutely had no idea where it had come from, while the truth was he was still as single as a pringle. Oh, the irony. His parents would have thrown a huge party to celebrate it if that rumor had been the truth.

But then another thought came in, and this time it brought a happy smile to his face. Later that month he was going to be announced as a new fixed member of the Running Man China, and he knew it was going to be a huge surprise for his mom. She was a big fan of Running Man. Especially the silly leader who was also a great actor, Deng Chao. He had met him and the other members several times by then. Being with this new family of his reminded him of the time when he had been a guest star on Korea’s Running Man, along with his EXO brothers. But surely it was going to be different; he’d show a less dorky and a manlier image, of course. He hoped his brothers would watch him on the show and gawk in awe because of how manly he had become.

And then another thought caused his smile to weaken a little. Just then he remembered something else; earlier that day, he had seen someone at the railway station, and even though he had only caught a glimpse of the small figure, he strongly believed it was her.

The black cherry girl. She had followed him that far. He wondered where she was then, if she had found somewhere to stay, or maybe something to eat, or if she even had some pocket money on her. He couldn't help but feel restless out of the blue. Feeling uncomfortable somehow, he opened his sleepy doe eyes and pushed himself up slowly. As seconds ticked by, his restlessness grew more and more intense to the point that his body shuddered a little. It wasn't about her anymore. It felt like he was being.... watched.

And when he lifted his gaze up from his thighs, he found the reason of his anxiety right away.

“W-What is that…?” Luhan whispered to himself, body turning rigid as he slowly crawled backwards in horror. Suddenly a shadow-like figure that had previously been standing behind the curtain moved out of its hiding place, and the idol swore he could clearly see what it was – a supposedly female figure with the head down, letting a long, thick bunch of hair fall covering a pale face. Exactly like those in cheap horror movies.

“Wh-Waaaaaaaaaaaawawawawaaaaaaaaaa!! A G-G-GHOST! Lao Gao, Lao Gao help me!!” The deer sprung off the bed and sprinted to the bathroom as fast as the wind, slamming and locking the door before the ghost could catch him. He crouched down and curled into a trembling ball behind the door, and soon enough he began to make sobbing sounds without actually letting any tears out because the bathroom door was then being knocked vigorously as if the ghost were trying to break it in a half and the poor boy was too scared to even cry.

“Go away! Shoo!” He looked around in panic and somehow his eyes fell on the cross-shaped pendant of his necklace. Not able to think straight, he took it off and held the cross out towards the door. He inhaled and exhaled like a woman giving birth before he squeezed his eyes hard and shouted, “In the name of God, I command you to go away!”

And the knocks stopped abruptly. The clumsy boy almost couldn’t believe it, his eyes popped open wide and his jaw fell open as he shifted his gaze back and forth between the door and the small, white gold cross in his grip.

“D-Did I just… exorcize the…?”

"Ahahaha!" A strangely familiar female voice. The deer furrowed his eyebrows as he pressed his ear against the door. Weird, it didn't sound like a ghost at all. In fact, it was a pretty cute laugh.

While repeatedly chanting I'm manly, I'm manly in his head, the idol mustered up all his courage to stand up and turn the door knob open, making the slightest gap for himself to peek out.

And he found none other than the girl. How could have he not noticed her very usual outfit?

“You…? Why are you here?” The fear flew off the young man’s handsome yet dorky face right away, replaced with a rather irritated expression. The girl’s laugh slowly subsided. “How— How could you even get in?” This time he opened the door wide and stepped out until he towered the shorter girl, unintentionally letting out his strong manly aura that made her shrink a little bit.

“I umm… I followed your staff here when she put your stuff here earlier,” the so-called fan answered timidly, suddenly feeling uneasy for messing with the idol’s privacy.

“And she didn’t notice you in this room?” the soft voice started to raise.

“I-I hid behind the bathroom’s door right after getting in, s-so she didn’t see me.” The girl’s head lowered even deeper until her chin touched her chest.

“And why exactly did you come here? Are you really a sasaeng?”

“I’m not!” The chocolate brown-eyed girl gasped and covered for raising her voice involuntarily. Luhan cocked an eyebrow, and she knew too well she'd messed up badly.

"You," Luhan squinted his eyes, but seeing the girl start to tremble a little, he ended up sighing in defeat for the umpteenth time and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Come."

The Chinese idol made his way to the bed and sat on the edge, subtly patting the spot next to him. His one unique fan gasped and her round eyes widened double times at the signal, but before any weird stuff could come to her mind, the deer quickly explained, "I just want to talk."

"Oh, o-okay then." She took small awkward steps towards the bed and doubtfully placed herself on the corner, making as much distance as possible with the young man. Just in case she might break loose and end up doing stupid things towards her lifetime idol.

"Would you... Tell me your name?" Luhan started carefully. He hadn't expected the other to perk up out of the blue without much effort.

“I’m Hei Lin. Hei as in black, Lin as in forest, so my name literally means black forest. It’s like a cake’s name, do you know that cake? The dark but sweet one with lots of chocolate pieces, and with cherries on top and white cream around the edge.”

“Oh... That name suits you a lot. I-I mean, It’s a pretty name.” Luhan cleared his throat and scratched his nape awkwardly, while the girl shyly smiled to herself.

“Thank you, Lu ge. Um, I’m sorry for scaring you earlier… I didn’t expect you to be that… surprised.”

“Please don’t do that again, I can’t control my expressions. Don’t tell anyone either—“

“I won’t. But your reaction was really cute,” the long-haired girl giggled, her grin widening when she found the deer’s face turning red.

“So… Ahem. How old are you again?” Luhan attempted to change the topic, failing miserably in keeping his cool image. Again, the small one gave him an unexpected reaction. She lowered her gaze and furrowed her eyebrows as if sinking in deep thoughts.

“My age? I’m…,” a brief silence, “I’m supposed to be twenty two this year.”

“Twenty two? You’re only three years younger than me?” the idol unintentionally let his dorky gawking face come out again. “Unbelievable. You look nineteen or below!”

“I was born in 1993, so… yes, twenty two.” Now, indeed it changed Luhan’s perspective of the girl – or more like the young lady. She was certainly not underage. He got to take her more seriously.

“Hei Lin,” the idol’s voice indicated he was amused, “tell me why you follow me around. And where do you live, actually? You seem to be always there, even when I’m not in Beijing. It’s almost impossible not to notice you – you know, because your outfit... it's easy to recognize.”

"Because I always wear the same clothes, right?" Hei Lin chuckled as she lowered her gaze, but Luhan didn't fail to notice her rather sad smile. "Let's just say... I come from Shanghai, but I'm currently staying in Beijing. Not far from Haidian district. I follow you around because... j-just because. Y-You're the reason why."

The expression the young star made clearly showed he wasn't satisfied with the answer. Before he could say anything, the lady stood up and bowed slightly at him. "I should leave now. I'm sorry for ruining your night, Lu ge," her voice shook a little, "good night."

And with that, she turned her back to the idol and quickly made her way to the door. But suddenly her steps stopped, because then she felt something holding her back. When she turned her head, she found her small backpack being pulled slightly by the handsome young man's hand, which then was retracted immediately. She blinked slowly as she trailed her eyes up to meet the doe-like ones, her chocolate orbs seeming to melt him with her sad, loving gaze, and the deer gulped noticeably.

"W-Where are you going to stay for the night?" he stammered a little, "It's-- It's late already, it's too dangerous to go outside."

"Don't worry about me, Lu ge." A tiny happy smile, pretty eyes curving up into crescents. "Maybe in your mind?"

Taken aback, Luhan froze with mouth slightly ajar, and when he blinked back to his senses, he found nothing but empty air standing before him. He quickly opened the door just to find out the figure of the fragile-looking lady, walking down the empty hallway with silent steps of a cat. The sight was almost mesmerizing to him. To chase… or not to chase.

"Luhan, what are you looking at?" Lao Gao, who had just finished showering, poked his head out of his room. He followed the deer's empty gaze and found nothing there. "You waiting for someone? The staff?"

"...N-Nothing."

"Take a shower and go to sleep, buddy. You look like a zombie. Just tell me if you need anything, 'kay?"

The bear buddy was fast to fly to the dreamland, while the deer was left wide awake.

She did stay in his mind for the night.
 

After that night, too many times Luhan found himself spacing out, for his mind was filled with unanswered questions about the mysterious lady. But the interesting thing was, it wasn't a rare thing that the pretty lady came into his sight not long after he thought about her.

When he was spacing out a little during a photoshoot, he caught a glimpse of her behind the door crack trying to peek inside the studio. Surely he wondered how she could get in.

When his train was stopping at a station, he saw her through the window, standing outside waiting for him and waving at him with a cute smile on her face. It was a quite rare occasion when his fans didn't know he was coming there, so the station wasn't packed with a giant flock of teenage girls, like what usually happened. But she was there. Luhan was starting to think that this lady was probably a higher level of a sasaeng.

And that idea became stronger when something rather terrifying to him happened when he was alone in the male restroom, one night when he was attending an Award event. When he was happily peeing in the urinal, suddenly a soft voice came behind him, along with a poke on his back, "Lu ge?"

"Gah!" He almost jumped and peed the floor. Instinctively covering his dong with his hands, without turning around to see the person he shouted rather furiously, "Hei Lin, what are you doing here?? Would you stop surprising me? It's a male restroom, for goodness' sake!"

Hei Lin cracked an uneasy laugh. "It's really you. Wrong restroom, sorry!" And she fled after subtly trying to peek the deer junior. "It'll be inside me someday!" A naughty giggle before the door was slammed shut, leaving the deer gawking at it in disbelief, with his face and ears reddening in embarrassment.

"...She could have killed me!" Maybe he should consider having a bodyguard.

Suddenly the door was opened again and the black forest girl popped her head in, making the clumsy deer flinch in surprise, “Why should I kill you, Lu ge? Remember, I’m not a sasaeng! You’re the reason why I’m here, literally!” She winked before disappearing again, once again leaving the idol dumbfounded.

Nevertheless, not all encounters with her were unpleasant. Some could actually leave him sleeping with a smile on his lips, if he thought about them at night.

Like the time when he fell down and hurt himself while playing soccer with some adults who barely knew him as an idol. He played with them quite a lot near where he lived, not everyone knew about it. That was why he was pretty much surprised when someone came to him after the game, when he was sitting alone on a bench near the field.

"Lu ge, are you hurt?"

"Eh? Hei Lin? How did you know I was here?" Well, that shouldn't be questioned anymore.

Not answering the older's question, the delicate lady sat down next to him and carefully turned his arm to the right angle that allowed her to see his bleeding wound, just below his elbow. He hadn't cleaned it yet.

"Please be careful next time, Lu ge." Without saying much, she proceeded to clean the wound gently with a cotton and alcohol that she had brought in her backpack -- something that Luhan should be suspicious about, but at that point he couldn't even think straight because of the radiating goddess aura mixed with her gentleness of a mother; he found himself not able to take his eyes off of her. She finished her handiwork with a cute bandage with little Bambis all over it.

"There you go," she piped up, kissing the tips of her fingers and then gently swiping them over the bandaged wound. She didn't know she had got the deer's heart to skip a beat.

"T-Thank you--"

"Oh, I also have something for you!" She picked up another bag that had been sitting next to her feet – Luhan hadn't noticed it before -- and pulled out something that got the doe eyes to sparkle in pure happiness; food and coffee. The two things he loved the most. Steaming hot rice, cold Iced Americano. Heaven in one sight.

"I made this for you. Caffeine and carbohydrate after sport are good to restore your energy and refuel your muscles! I know you like sour and spicy food, but you should eat healthy food more. Now have some vegetables and chicken, next time I'll cook you something sour and spicy! Should we find a good spot to eat?"

Luhan could barely hear the other's voice anymore; he had his eyes settled on the big plastic cup of coffee in his hands, feeling warm inside as he got into yet another emotional state. It wasn't the usual Americano he always bought at his favorite coffee shop; she made it herself. The young man slowly took a sip, and as the liquid slid down his throat, his doe eyes became glassy and a bit watery. He could almost feel the love, somehow.

"Lu ge? Your face is red. Is it too hot out here? Come on, let's sit under that tree."

"...Hei Lin, should l really eat this? I mean, is it okay?"

"Of course, why not? I made it for you." The pretty smile got the deer to bow his head shyly.

"Are you gonna eat too? We should share."

"It's okay, I've had lunch already."

Luhan had to fight back his manly tears when the food entered his mouth; it tasted just like his mom's cooking. Perfect, such a wife material. He thanked her many times as he devoured the food like a hungry baby wolf.

I want to have a wife like this.

He was pretty much surprised by his own thought. Was he really thinking about having a wife already? Maybe it was really the time he had to make a real move.

But could it be her? His beautiful, mysterious fan? Could he really feel something for her?

Maybe at least he should know more about her first.
 

(Warning: skip to the next divider if you’re below 15 :p)

“Hei Lin, are you there?”

Silence. Luhan walked around his hotel room as if searching for something; behind the curtain, in the bathroom, under the bed, in the closet. Weird, he was sure enough he had heard something just then. By then he knew well enough that strange noises or a weird feeling of being watched meant the black forest girl was there; it had happened quite a lot, despite him being angry the first time she had sneaked into his room. But that night was different. She wasn’t there.

Maybe I misheard it, he yawned, I’m just too tired. Brushing off the thought, he tightened his night robe a little bit before slipping into the sheets and turning off the lights. Soon enough he fell into deep slumber.

It felt like he had slept for hours, but a faint sound woke him up and he saw that the sky was still pitch black outside. He sat up and rubbed the sleep off his heavy eyes as he tried to sharpen his ears and figure out what sound it was.

It was the running water, coming from the bathroom.

His eyes widened and his body tensed up in alarm. He looked at the clock on the bedside table; it was barely three in the morning. Who could it be? Moreover, who would take a shower at that time? Lao Gao wasn’t with him this time, and surely his staff wouldn’t dare showering in his room. Cautiously he slid off the bed and crept his way to the bathroom.

And how he was surprised to find that the door wasn’t properly closed! He could definitely peek in through the small gap. Should I see? Should I not? he contemplated, in the end choosing the former because he couldn’t just go back to sleep like nothing had happened. With a racing heart, he leaned forward and squinted through the crack. And he jumped back right away, with a face that looked as if he had just seen a ghost. He felt his junior twitch behind his night robe.

It was like Snow White had come out of her fairy tale book to take a shower in his hotel room. Her long, pure black hair cascading down her flawless pale back, her protruding shoulder blades, and the beads of water sliding down her curves and that pair of squishy buns; the sight was fast to spread the heat to the tips of the young male’s body. He found no strength to stop his own hand from slipping into his robe and starting to touch himself; his instincts of a grown man had begun to take the wheel.

Suddenly the goddess in disguise turned around and smiled at him in the most seductive way, barely whispering, “Join me?”

And that was when he lost it. Out of his mind, he barged in and attacked his black forest girl with wild kisses, all the while his hand not leaving his any second. He liked it, he needed that pleasure so bad.

“Lu ge… Lu ge,” he heard the soft voice calling his name, a small hand trying to pull his bigger one off the deer junior. He mentally apologized as he silenced her with a deep kiss.

“Lu ge.” Another tug on his hand. “Stop that.” And yet she was ignored once again, until the deer in heat threw his head back in pure bliss and pleasure.

And then everything went black. Even when he thought his eyes were open.

“Lu ge, are you done?” Luhan blinked once. Twice. A few more times, and he finally realized that he was still lying on the bed in the dark hotel room instead of in the bathroom. And she was sitting next to him, fully clothed, with a concerned look on her innocent face.

“Hei Lin… W-What happened?” he croaked.

“You ed in your sleep,” she answered blatantly, much to boil the poor embarrassed deer.

“A-Ah.” He sat up abruptly, and just then he could feel his juice under his robe and a little in his hand. “I’m… I’m so sorry.”

Hei Lin kept her worried look and said nothing, afraid to give the wrong reaction. Certainly she wasn’t mad, she had no idea what had happened in the other’s wild dream. But still, eventually Luhan’s face turned deep red in the dark and his eyes grew hot as guilt was eating him up inside. He couldn’t look at her in the eyes anymore.

“I’m really sorry,” he muttered again, “I’m so—“

“Sshh.” A sudden hug cut the apology, got him taken aback. “It’s okay. That means you’re a normal grown man.” Hei Lin pulled back as fast as that hug happened to flash an innocent smile, assuring him with a nod.

“Y-You don’t get it,” the young man bowed his head, “it was… it was about you. You must be disgusted at me now.”

A brief silence and Luhan had never been that scared before. It wasn’t a matter of his perfect image of an idol that might be ruined by that one single event; he then realized he had grown used to the other’s presence that he might be afraid of losing it permanently.

And yet, instead of being left or at least getting an angry look like what he had expected, what he got was another gentle hug.

“It’s okay. That means you’re a normal grown man.”

This time the idol didn’t let his fan pull away; he kept her in his firm hug so that she wouldn’t have to see him cry. He wasn’t crying because of the embarrassment and guilt anymore.

What did I ever do to deserve having you by my side?

And then a new big question raised in his mind, Do you even… love me that way? Or could he even ask that kind of question? Strangely he found himself too afraid to find out the answer.

That night, after his emotional state was over and then Hei Lin managed to get the zombie deer out of bed to clean himself up for a bit, for once Luhan fell asleep with a peaceful smile gracing his thin lips as the soft voice of his goddess lulled him off to the dreamland, singing his own and the Lufans’ favorite lullaby, Tian Mi Mi.

“Don’t forget again to lock the door,” Hei Lin whispered to the sleeping boy, barely kissing him on the temple before she left him on his own.

Who was she to stay with the precious boy for the night, anyway?
 

“Welcome, Sir! May I take your order?”

“One large Iced Caffè Americano, please.”

“Would you like to try our espresso brownies too, Sir? I guarantee that it tastes as good as your other favorite coffee shop’s.”

“Nope, just one perfect big cup of coffee.”

“Then that’d be 16 Yuan, Sir. One large Iced Caffè Americano, coming right up!”

Both the lady barista and the masked customer stifled their giggles as they played strangers, that lovely day at the cozy coffee shop. As usual the petite lady put the straw across the cup’s lid and handed the drink to her new regular customer, putting on her best smile on her lips and on her twinkling eyes, in additional giving him extra free tissue to get him out of the line and go find a seat. Five minutes later was the end of her shift; she quickly changed her clothes into her usual outfit before heading to the seat in the very corner of the shop, a very well-hidden spot for a young pair to have a secret, shy yet somewhat flirty talk.

“Lu ge.” The pale-skinned pretty lady sat down across the tall young man in disguise, who then took off his mask revealing a bright, happy smile.

“Hei Lin. My coffee tastes so perfect today. What’s up?”

“Oh, really?” the younger of the two cocked her head to the side and flashed an amused smile. “Hmm, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because China’s Deer, who is going to hold his first solo concert really soon, is here for the coffee I make?”

Luhan couldn’t help but laugh and clap like a happy seal. “How did you know that fast? I haven’t even announced it! Did you come spying in my studio?”

Hei Lin smirked smugly, forming a ‘V’ with her thumb and index finger under her chin. “I always know. I was looking forward to it! You’ve made us Lufans really proud of you, Lu ge.”

The clumsy deer laughed and rubbed his nape shyly. “I’m really nervous and excited about it though.” But then he reached out his hand and pinched the other’s cheek as he joked, “So you’re only proud as a Lufan? Nothing else? Not more than that?”

“Ow! Let go,” the younger laughed and pushed the hand off her face. “Of course it’s more than that.” Her playful smile brought the idol’s hope up high. “I’m also a proud supplier of your daily dose of coffee. You wouldn’t have had enough boost for your concert without my coffee!”

The deer’s face dropped flat and the black forest lady giggled, sticking out her tongue playfully.

It had become their new habit; sneaking to the corner of the shop to talk about nothings, enjoying the precious moments when they could be far away from the crowd, just the two of them. The start of it all had been beyond awkward and timid, but then they simply looked forward to each other’s company each and every day, feeling like there was something missing without it; just like most common love-struck teenage couples.

But the most important thing that mattered to the half-fifty idol was; he knew how his favorite fan saw him and thought of him, for he had asked her about it himself.

”Hei Lin… What do you think of me? Who am I to you? No, no, I-I mean, w-what do you feel about me? I-I mean--”

“You’re my idol.”

“…Just that?”

“Hmm. Why do you ask, Lu ge?”

“I umm… I j-just want to know.”

“Well… It’s much beyond that. I might say I love you, but it’s not the ‘I love you’ that any fans could throw at you, you know? Like, I love you. Not because you’re my idol, but just because you’re you. Like a boyfriend and girlfriend kind of love. Do you get what I mean? Oh wait. Did it sound like a confession? I-I’m sorry! Oh great, I’ve screwed up again. I shouldn’t have said it blatantly… Should I?”

Recalling her flushed face always got him to crack a creepy smile every time. And each time, he always remembered the banner with huge glittery pink writing of ”LUHAN, PLEASE MARRY ME!” that she had brought at their first encounter. From that indirect confession on, they were really starting to open up to each other in that way, and Luhan looked forward to the right time and chance when they could really become a thing.

He had never expected to fall for a fan, but then the truth couldn’t be denied; he had fallen for one.

What was troubling him then was how to tell his parents. Or at least his lifetime best buddy. And so he shared the thought with the lady herself.

“Hei Lin, is it okay if… um, I tell Lao Gao about you?” Her smile suddenly faltering and her body turning tensed wasn’t none of the reactions he had expected. “W-What’s wrong? You don’t agree with that? Y-You don’t have to meet him if you don’t want to, sure he looks a bit of a thug with his beard and all, but I promise he’s a nice teddy bear. Or—Or we can take a picture together, so I can show it to him! H-How about that?”

“No…,” Hei Lin lowered her gaze and bit her bottom lip, contemplating for a bit before assuring herself with a doubtful, rather worried smile, “I guess a picture is okay.”

After a few snaps of selfies and some more assuring words, they got up from their seat and Luhan took the shorter in his arms. “Thank you, Hei Lin. You know that I’m doing this so we can take further steps, right?”

“I know.” the girl smiled and gazed up at the other’s handsome face lovingly. “I wish things could have been easier,” she barely whispered. Even though Luhan didn’t fully understand what she meant, he smiled and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, hugging her once again before putting his mask back on. “I must go now, the crew must be waiting for me. See you around… baby.”

They exchanged shy eye smiles before waving goodbye at each other, with the young star being oblivious of what was waiting ahead.

That night, when he had dinner with his buddy alone, he finally revealed everything about the black forest lady whom he was in love with. Lao Gao, as his lifetime brother, was definitely excited and happy for him.

“Do you have her picture? Let me see her!” he pressed his balled hands against his hairy cheeks, trying not to let out a manly squeal. Happy to get his buddy’s support, ever so excitedly, the deer fished out his phone and opened his gallery, his grin growing wider and wider every second. But then, when his teddy bear buddy finally saw his selfies with the girl…

“…Luhan, stop joking around. It’s a picture of yourself. Seriously, show me now!”

“W-What? But it’s really her! We don’t even look alike, she’s way much cuter. How could you say she’s me? You stop joking around.”

“No, you stop joking around. It’s really just you in the picture, no girls, no one else!”

Luhan gawked in disbelief. Had his buddy gone half-blind? There were clearly two persons in the selfies, he showed him all of the pictures, but Lao Gao insisted he couldn’t see any girls in any of them. Just him, and an empty space beside him.

“Lao Gao… Don’t mess with me.”

“Goodness, I’m not messing with you! Excuse me, waiter? Can you come here for a sec?” He even called a waiter passing by and showed him the phone screen. “Now you tell us, how many persons are there in this picture? Are there any girls in it?”

Luhan squinted at his buddy, and yet then he shifted his gaze and stared at the waiter as if hoping for a confirmation that the nutty one there was not him, but the hairy teddy bear instead.

And the waiter answered…

“…There is one person in this picture, Sir. Just the young sir sitting here, no girls.”

“…No.”

“Xiao Lu… It’s okay, buddy. Should we go see the doctor?”
 

A/N: hiii anyone who’s reading this! So I finally made it to finish and upload this, it was pretty long, wasn’t it? Well, long chapters is just my style. Ahaha. Please kindly let me know what you think about this chapter, if it got boring at some points, or if you like the plot twist and cliffhanger in the end, etc. So apparently Hei Lin wasn’t real! Lao Gao suspected that this black forest lady his deer friend had been talking about was maybe just his imagination/hallucination; that was why he planned to bring him to the psychiatrist. Poor little deer. Maybe he had been single for way too long.

Aside from this story, I hope Luhan actually finds a girlfriend soon! \o/ He deserves a goddess to love him and take care of him. And this may be a bit too early, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY LU GE ILY GET MARRIED SOON <3 <3

Thank you for reading and subscribing to my story!! Wait for the next update, until next time!