The feeling of the cold breeze ran across Kibum’s skin, wrapping around him like a comforting hug. A small smile spread across his lips as he felt the goosebumps ripple across his arms and legs.

He took in the view in front of him, took in every detail of the scenery—the stillness of the lake in front of him, the slight sway of the plants and grass from the breeze and the smell of nature as it embraced his whole being.

His mind finally felt at peace. His body was nearly numb, but not physically… numb emotionally. He doesn’t feel sadness anymore. He hasn’t felt happiness in years...except whenever he looks at Jonghyun. Whenever Jonghyun would look at Key, he would feel those butterflies in his stomach start fluttering away—but Kibum would never let Jonghyun know that.

In fact, Kibum wouldn’t let Jonghyun know a lot of things. He would never let Jonghyun know about the crush he has on him. He would never let Jonghyun know about how he was the only source of positivity in his life—that no matter how many pills he swallowed, the feeling of sadness just won't go away.

That’s why he’s here now.

Kibum slowly sat up from where he was sitting and let out a deep sigh.

He’d been thinking of this day for months now. His hand glided over his jacket pocket and softly gripped onto the note that’s tucked away. His grip doesn’t loosen as he clenched his eyes together.

“Every problem will wash away soon… Every problem will wash away soon…” he whispered to himself.

He slowly opened his eyes and looked down at his white converse. “Jonghyun loved these shoes on me..” he whispered, sadness lacing his voice.

He squatted down and slowly started to untie them. The laces felt like razor blades against his fingers. He doesn’t mind the pain. It reminds him that it’ll all be over soon.

Once he’s untied both shoes, he slowly takes them off and sets them to the side. He watches how the blades of grass surround his shoes. The contrast of green against the dingy white looks pretty to him, but nothing will ever look as pretty as Jonghyun.

He stood back up and took off the thin jacket his mother nagged him to wear. The mustard yellow jacket slipped off his shoulders easily—almost too easily, as if it were pushing him faster.

He swallowed the knot that was forming in his throat. He reached into the jacket pocket and took out the note.

He squatted down on to the grass, being careful not to crinkle the note and slowly laid out his jacket, creating a makeshift mat for his belongings.

As if he were to come back and get them…

He placed his converse on top of the jacket and set them neatly beside each other. He observed the things in front of him. He had only brought this note and his jacket with him—he didn’t want to carry too much.

He looked at his hand that held the note and placed it right next to his shoes.

“Every problem will wash away soon..” he whispered to himself again.

He slowly got up from where he was and dusted himself off. He took in a deep breath and slowly started walking to the shore of the lake.

“Every problem will wash away soon..”

Every time he repeated himself he took another step.

“I hope Jonghyun knows that no matter where I am…I love him. I hope he never loses that amazing smile.”

Once he reached the water, he let the tears spill. Everything he’d ever bottled up finally broke free. But it didn’t stop him. He kept walking, and with each tear falling came a footstep.

The feeling of the water surrounding his ankles brought comfort. A source of comfort that all the bad in his life would end soon.

The footsteps became harder as the water got deeper, but he kept going deeper.

The water was up to his waist now, and he stopped and whispered, “I’m sorry, Jonghyun…”

He continued walking, letting the water swallow him inch by inch. The water felt silky against his skin and a small smile spread across his face as he felt the water reach his neck.

“I’ll finally be happy,” he says, his voice strained as he tried to keep his head above water.

His legs buckled from underneath him and the water passed over his mouth.

Then slowly over his eyes, until his whole head is engulfed in the lake water.

All ability to breathe is ripped away from him as he lightly swatted his arms around.

The cold liquid seeped through every airway in his body, silently suffocating him.

His vision slowly became black as all life that once thrived in his body is replaced by the water of the deep lake.

“Key?”

“Key, I know you like to hang around here to clear your mind. Where are y—“

Jonghyun’s voice cut off instantly as he saw the pile of clothes. “Aren’t those Kibum’s?” Confusion was clearly etched on his face as he looked for his friend.

He walked over to the pile of clothes and sat in front of it. He knew something wasn’t right. His eyes hovered over all the belongings.

His eyes stayed on the note for a little while.  Something felt off to him, but he just didn’t know what it was.

He brought his hand to the note and loosely gripped it, the feeling of worry in his chest growing stronger.

He slowly opened it up . The note read, “Gone fishin’. <3”

The note fell from his hands as he looked up at the lake and saw the last bubbles of life leave Kibum’s body.