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He’s more than frustrated - it’s past 3am and he keeps missing the same down beat, keeps overshooting on the same note, keeps writing the same ty lyrics. Nam Taehyun is frustrated because this is the second month in a row they’ve lost to Team A and it’s bordering on humiliating now. They’re older and more experienced, and yet when it comes time to perform in front of YG, they fail to show what they’ve spent endless hours practicing for. The same comments of “you don’t work well as a team” and “you look unnatural” crop up each evaluation, but Taehyun doesn’t ing see it no matter how hard he squints... But he’s sure it’s there, this flaw that everyone claims to see but he can’t seem to find with eyes stinging from the sweat and tears he’s shed to ensure that the performance was perfect.

He’s been working nonstop in the recording studio for the past two hours after putting in another six in the practice room and two more in the gym. The desk is littered with crumpled papers and discarded pens and wrappers from kimbap triangles, but the only thing that catches Taehyun’s eye is the blank computer screen in front of him. He hasn’t managed to write a single thing in all the time he’s been staring it. A two hour fitful sleep was only enough to keep his body going for half a day at best; his brain packed up and checked out a while ago. He glances over at the clock in the hopes that it’s not as early as it feels; however, he turns back with an even stronger feeling of dread. If the results of next month’s evaluation don’t  turn out better, a mental breakdown will be the end result; there’s only so much stress he can take before he starts to crack and there’s not enough hours in the day for him to feel completely prepared. With a sigh he stands and gathers the trash on the desk, throwing the crumpled papers and things in the bin by the door. He makes his way out of the building slowly, first checking the rooms to see if anyone’s stressing out as much as he is. The very last window provides a clear view of none other than Hanbin who’s hunched over a keyboard hammering out a melody for yet another song. Next to him sits a zombie that resembles Bobby who points at random spots on the page littered with music notes.

Goddamnit. Taehyun shouldn’t be upset because the other team seems to be getting along well, but it’s hard not to. Here he is with nothing accomplished after two hours of singing himself hoarse whereas BI and Bobby are down the hall composing music like it’s nothing. I can’t do right, can I? The front door slams open a little louder than expected, sending the night receptionist jumping up in surprise. It would have been pretty funny if his current mood wasn’t liken to pig . His feet carve a path of their own down the street; it’s dark and windy and starting to snow, so he picks up his pace. They take him three blocks past the YG building then to the right, two more blocks then to the left, up a flight of stairs, another right turn then he’s knocking impatiently on the chipped red wood. His knuckles don’t let up for a solid minute until there’s a shuffle and the slow creak of the opening door.

“What the , Taehyun?”

He pushes his way inside before you have enough time to comprehend or question why your boyfriend is banging down your door at 4am. Nam Taehyun is a tough person to understand. He makes his way into the living room with a huff then unceremoniously throws his bag onto the sofa.

“Come here,” he demands, arms spread out in a T.

“What?” You’re more than groggy this early in the morning. “Taehyun, what are you doing here? You said you’d be busy until the end of time so-”

“Just-” he cuts you off, “come. here.” His arms are still raised but they hurriedly close around you when you’ve shuffled close enough for him to pull you into his embrace. He buries his nose into your neck, taking in your scent with a deep sigh. “I missed you.” Hearing that never fails to give you goosebumps.

“I missed you too, Tae.” The conversation dies there, Taehyun opting for silence and you're still unsure of what this is all about. “Um… Are you okay? You seem… down.”

A shake of the head and a small sniffle is the only response at first, then a small, “Just… hold me.” So you do. He melts into your embrace, soaking in the warmth of your body, wishing that he could stay here forever. He eventually starts talking about the situation that has him stressed out at YG - about how he feels like dead weight, about how he messes up the same part in the choreography and gets scolded for it every time. He cries and cries then cries some more because it feels like this whole thing may be too much for him but at the same time he’d rather die than give up. “But this,” he suddenly confesses, “Us. If it wasn’t for you there’s no way in hell I’d be able to do this.” He leans out of the hug for the first time to look you in the eye, “I love you, baby, you know that. Even when I’m past the point of breaking, a minute in your arms is all I need to pull myself together.” His smile is teary but fond as he brushes a thumb along your cheek. “I’m doing this for us. I’m going to get through this and practice hard and outwork everyone out there so I can debut as a member of Winner and show everyone what kind of artist I am.”

You can’t help but smile at his determined mindset, “I know you will, Tae. You’ll be great.”

This time his smile is free of tears as he pulls you into one last hug; morning practice starts in less than an hour. “Just promise me this,” he leans down to press his lips softly against yours, “Promise that you’ll always be here to hold me.”

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A/N: Nam Taehyun sneak attacked me with his cuteness. Officially my #2 favorite idol <3

And for clarification's sake: There was no hating on Team B/iKON, Hanbin/BI, or Bobby. I liked iKON first, chill.

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