You Don't Have To Say I Love You, To Say I Love You (Two Cans of 182 Nights)

Two Cans of 182 Nights
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Under the illumination of a bright, silvery moon, a girl, greyish brown hair flowing down the small of her back, could be seen sitting on top of her desk beside the window, chin on top of her knees and chest pressed against her thigh, her gaze locked on the lonely lamppost across the road.

 

Despite the hour, her set of pajama was abandoned in the gloom corner of her bedroom, replaced with a white sweater and jeans. There’s a hint of sleepiness fogging on two hazel eyes of hers, although the grip on the windowsill indicated that the drowsiness couldn’t stop her. The dimness and the soothing breeze of February, unfortunately, didn’t help her situation, because as the night grew older, the ability to keep her eyelids up became more and more of a challenge.

 

Minatozaki Sana, the girl who’s gritting her teeth to keep awake, was a rather feminine, uptight girl grown up in the environment where being a good girl was a requirement. The Japanese, then again, were always strict when it came to courtesy. It ran in their blood, flowing through their veins. So it didn’t come as a surprise when her parents came as equally demanding as any other Japanese parents out there. They wanted her to be mature, to be a lady, even after they had immigrated to this foreign land of Korea.

 

Under that influence, it was no surprise to know that Sana’s room was decorated with pink and white. A myriad of cosmetics such as lipsticks with all different shade of colors, powder and a palette of nail polishes were the one who occupied the place where Sana was sitting at, before all of them were swapped away to the bed of course. There were fashion magazines, and even all of those were scattered dirtily on the floor. You could imagine all the stylish clothes she had, though most of them, especially ones she could use while moving comfortably at, were now stored in a bag (she was slightly surprised at how so little of them exist on her wardrobe).

 

Sana didn’t know when the exact time being a proper lady looked so dull and boring, couldn’t fathom exactly why even such thought could pop up on her mind. All she knew was that the usually refreshing cup of green tea she was holding during one evening started to taste bitter by the touch of the tip of her tongue. Her mother was beyond startled when Sana spitted the tea out, her father was puzzled by the sudden behavior. Sana remembered telling the two adults that the tea was still too hot for her to drink and even so she excused herself in the middle of their dinner to lock herself on her room.

 

Sana didn’t think about it much after that, as her routine reminded her back on how she should behave. Even if it still bugged her sometimes, she dismissed the matter as though they were dust, and back to being the normal girl she was. Befriending with other normal girls, making coffees for her father in the morning, going on dates with this son of her father’s friend. The pattern was visible once again.

 

That until she met her…

 

Dark, brown hair with eyes as wide as the moon itself and lips that wouldn’t stop to form into a gentle smirk. A tad bigger hands that pushed her from the back, looming behind her and yet at the same time leading her on how to live properly.

 

Sana unknowingly smiled, reminiscing about the first time she met the walking-trouble a few months ago on one September.

 

~*~

 

Sana giggled, covering with her palms as her friend cracked some jokes. The walk to the lobby of their school was pretty long and even as her group of friends were talking about this oh so interesting topic that wasn’t uncommon for girls to talk about, Sana, she may lie about it, couldn’t find herself getting immersed at the conversation. She only laughed when the others laugh (palm on mouth), and putting light comments here and there to cover her lack of enthusiasm.

 

“Anyway Sana, how’s your relationship with Suho?”

 

“Ah..” she started off, gathering all the memories about their last date during the weekend but found none that left impressions. Therefore she settled with the most basic answer she could get, “He’s fine. He’s nice. Everything is going smoothly so far.”

 

“Aww, I envy you Sana! I’d love to have a guy as handsome as Suho!”

 

Sana smiled awkwardly. There’s this voice in the back of her head that said ‘Then let’s switch place.’ but she muffled it by striking another topic.

 

“By the way, I’ll see you girls on Monday? I’m going to take bus home. My driver is sick today.”

 

“You sure you don’t want a ride home Sana?”

 

Sana shook her head slowly while adjusting the weighty mathematic textbook she was holding on her hand. “It’s okay, I don’t want to be a bother. Thanks anyway. Bye everyone!”

 

Sana bid her friends goodbye and walked leisurely toward the bus stop, taking her time. She didn’t feel like going home today, probably because today was Friday and Friday meant another herb before going to bed.

 

Sana shuddered at the thought of another encounter with the detestable drink that her mother had purchased a few weeks ago when she went back to Japan. It tasted nasty, to put it in a better adjective. Sana could use some more words but they were too impolite so Sana restrained herself to even think about them.

 

Sana jerked when she felt a drop of water on top of her head. She looked up, only to be greeted with a downpour of rain and grey sky and swaying trees. Sana tried to find shelter, and was glad when she found out that the bus stop was already nearby. Sana made a run for it, her white shoes sploshing across the puddles along the humid, grassy ground.

 

She was gasping for air when she was finally under cover, though she couldn’t escape from being soaked from head to toe. She sat down on the bench heavily, sighing when it came to mind that she didn’t bring an umbrella with her today.

 

“You look grim.” Sana jumped on her place, rounding her head to see someone was sitting on the other end of the bench, hands on the pockets of her black jacket and a backpack was slung on her right shoulder. She looked like she was barely older than Sana, younger even, maybe two or three years younger, though what confused her was why the stranger wasn’t wearing any uniform or some sort.

 

Sana tried not to frown out of jealousy noticing that the stranger’s clothes were still dry, except the very end of her blue jeans, but that was all, such a contrary to hers. The stranger had probably been waiting here long enough before it started raining.

 

“Hey, you there?”

 

Sana blinked her eyes and wiped off the inappropriate thoughts and focused her eyes back to the stranger’s face, tearing it away from the stranger’s shoes. She titled her head and said, “I’m sorry, come again?”

 

Instead of looking annoyed, the brunette’s face was expressing pure amusement, like Sana had just said something extraordinarily funny. That, Sana couldn’t comprehend, as so far the only sentence she had uttered was asking the stranger to repeat her question.

 

“I said what’s made you so grim?” The stranger willingly repeated, and it dawned on her the stranger was foreigner, as the words came with this distinct accent that sounded almost robotic.

 

“Ah it’s nothing. Just a long day at school, that’s all.” Sana smiled politely and stared at the pavement underneath her, hopping the stranger would leave her alone without being too verbal about it.

 

However, it was either the stranger was too dense to be aware of her discomfort or did such a great job to feign oblivious.

 

“Let me guess, your friends bored you to death with all those gossips?”

 

Sana whipped herself toward the stranger to face her properly. Bloods creeping up to her neck and cheeks when she saw the way the corner of the stranger’s lips tugged upward, knowing that her guess was right by Sana’s rather dramatic reaction.

 

“It’s okay, I won’t tell anybody.” The stranger’s chuckled.

 

“But that’s not it!” Sana tried to defend herself, though failing miserably. There were glints in the stranger’s eyes that looked a lot like mischief and… And freedom.

 

“Sure, sure it was.”

 

“It wasn’t.”

 

“It was.”

 

“It wasn’t!”

 

“You do know I can see you scoffing all the way from here.”

 

“Wha- I so did not scoff at my friends!” Sana said flustered. Did she subconsciously, and really, scoff at her friends back there? No she certainly didn’t… Right?

 

“Whatever you say.” The stranger said in singsong tone that got Sana irritated.

 

Sana huffed, crossing her hands and went back to stare at the pavement, tapping her foot rapidly, wondering when her bus was going to come. She’d rather confront that herb than being stuck with this oddly annoying stranger.

 

A moment later, there’s a distant splatter and Sana was relieved when she saw her bus approaching. She rose up from the bench, checking her surrounding for any things she might left and was waiting for the bus to stop until she felt something being draped over her shoulders, making her yelp.

 

“It’s cold inside the bus,” the stranger came into her field of vision, the smirk was very much still attached on her face. The moment Sana saw her on her blue sweatshirt, she knew it was the stranger’s jacket she was having. “Beside your uniform was a bit… Thin, don’t you think?”

 

Sana inhale a sharp intake of breathe and cradled her book closer to her, glaring at the laughing stranger while blushing madly. The jacket remained stationery on her shoulder, and only then did she was aware of how shivering she was.

 

“Oh look what time it is.” The stranger announced, glancing at her phone before she shoved it down to her pocket. “Go home immediately,” The stranger peered over behind her book and Sana swore she almost swung her fist across the stranger’s head. “Sana. I’m Tzuyu by the way, nice to meet you.” She gave a casual wave.

Sana’s eyes widened when the stranger, Tzuyu, suddenly strode out from the bus stop, the dry clothes Sana was jealous over before were now drenched in rain. Every inch of them. The stranger’s skin sparkled under the shower of water, her straight hair became even straighter, and the curve of her body became more apparent.

 

She was... Beautiful.

 

“Ms, are you going in?”

 

“Oh!” she quickly scrambled up to the bus, murmuring her apology to the driver who brushed it off with a smile before closing the doors.

 

Sana settled on the seat at the back, two rows behind a young man and right in front a married couple of elderlies. She smiled at them and they smiled at her back as she plopped down to the seat, placing her book to her lap.

 

The movement made the jacket shifted away from its position and dropped to the floor with a thud. She stared at it for a moment, million of thoughts and questions jumbling up and down her brain and only did she snap out of it when a withering hand took the jacket and pushed it to her. She looked up. It was one of the elderly holding it up for her.

 

“Treasure what’s given to you.” At the lost expression Sana hosted, the elderly kindly elaborated. “I saw you and your friend just now.”

 

Sana took the jacket back to her possession carefully, thanking the elderly softly while the older woman nodded her head. She caught the subtle exchange of smiles between the old woman and the old man and how such loving stares were exchanged. She returned back to the front, a familiar neighborhood had come to sight.

 

Sana, after much contemplation, wore the jacket properly. It was slightly bigger than her frame but it was comfortable and definitely warm nevertheless. A faint scent of vanilla was inhaled and Sana found herself burrowing into the warmth the jacket provided while waiting for her stop.

 

~*~

 

Sana sprang from her desk toward her somewhat ajar wardrobe. It was close to empty, leaving some dresses and skirts here and there. Sana dove down into the pile of blankets, pulling them out into the moonlight until she found the object she was looking for.

 

The black jacket.

 

Sana dusted off its sleeves and beamed at it, holding it up in front of her for a greater look. It felt like it was yesterday when she received it but she knew better that lots of things had happened, either good or not, since then. She smiled sadly at the jacket and turned around, was about to put it on the duffle bag ready by the leg of her bed until she screamed when she saw someone in front of her.

 

That person launched herself to Sana, only to press a palm to the girl’s mouth, blocking the scream from waking anyone up and gaining unwanted attention. The person hissed, signaling Sana to be quiet by putting her finger on her own lips and whispered, “Sssttt! You are going to wake the whole house up at this rate!”

 

Sana, finally registering the face in front of her, hit the person’s arm, but quieted down nonetheless. The person put her palm away, her other one was still lingering on Sana’s waist. Sana was about to yell, but noticing the person’s warning look, she restrained herself and wriggled herself out from the semi-embrace instead.
 

“Then stop surprising me you idiot!” Sana hissed back and went to complete her objective, folding the jacket neatly and put it into the bag.

 

“I climbed up here, Sana. You don’t simply say you couldn’t hear me making a fuss out there.” Tzuyu pointed out as she walked around Sana’s room as if it was her own bedroom. Well, she might as well be the owner of the bedroom at how frequent she had taken visits here, most of the time without Sana’s parents consent. “Have you packed everything yet?”

 

“I have.” Sana nodded even when Tzuyu wasn’t looking at her.

 

Tzuyu turned around, a sly smile plastered on her face. “All the dresses and make-ups?”

 

Sana rolled her eyes with a fake scoff while Tzuyu laughed silently. “Don’t tease.”

 

“Don’t expect me not to.” Tzuyu waited until Sana’s done fiddling with the zip of her bag before she added, “Ready?”

 

Sana looked around her room one last time, the pinkness of her walls was distinguishable even on the dim. She was sick of pink, wanted to get away from it fast, and therefore she nodded resolutely. When she looked up, Tzuyu was smiling patiently at her (Take your time, it expressed); her parents’ soft breathe reached upstairs but she paid no attention to them. Just Tzuyu and only Tzuyu.

 

Sana smiled back and walked closer, holding Tzuyu’s wrists and tiptoed to give the taller girl a slow kiss on the lips. She felt Tzuyu’s smile widened as it pressed closely to her own, and she felt herself did as well. The wooden floor cracked underneath their feet as they shuffled, Sana moving backward until her hips hit a chair.

 

“Lead the way.”

 

~*~

 

Sana paced around her room anxiously, her lamp was and her bedroom was as kempt as ever. She bit into her thumb, nibbling her nail as a way to divert her attention from the anxiety that had built up within her.

 

She glued her ear to the door, trying to see if she could hear any noise that’d tell that her parents were still in the living room. When she heard none, she focused her attention back to the opened window. Finally, after five more minutes of waiting, she heard a feeble rustled and unmistakable grunt. She rushed to the source of the noise, assisted Tzuyu up by her arm and help her to reached the floor.

 

“Gosh,” Tzuyu breathed out, wiping her hands that were covered in soil and some sort on her jeans. “Did they believe I was gone already?” Tzuyu asked as she sat at the nearby chair.

 

“They did.” Sana nodded with a slight frown. She brushed off her thoughts when she saw Tzuyu put down a white plastic bag on her desk, along with a few packs of ketchup and tomato sauces from her pockets. Sana’s stomach growled almost instantly, watering at the delicious smell of her favorite fast food in front of her.

 

“McDonald!” Sana cheered and took out her burger and fries before she sat down on the floor, devouring the food her health-freak of a mother insisted to have only once a month.

 

“All these troubles I need to conquered to become your delivery girl for a day,” Sana stared mouthful at how Tzuyu put her hand on her chest in a very lame attempt to look offended. “And the thank y

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Eizen1225 #1
Chapter 5: So this is the prequel of Of beach stars-- TT a tear slipped my eyes.. I read this even with my work tomorrow. Because I just really can't wait, my past free time during weekends were spent doing academic related. I wanna say the ending part is heartbreaking.. their love wasn't even toxic in the first place- so it seems SO unfair that inevitable circumstances just had to separate them :< I love satzu and I do love their story of unconditional love, love through sickness and health.. but mitzu's like the healthy kind of love so it was ashame that it happened.. *the only thing is Mina wasn't brave enough to insist she will fight with Tzuyu through everything- maybe because they're used to have each other in better situations- while Satzu's love happened during the storm- that's why I kinda prefer it * BUT THE STORY ARE BOTH WELL WRITTEN- VERY WORTH IT OF MY ANOTHER DAY OF BEING LATE.. I NEVER REGRET ANY SECONDS OF READING THIS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING ♡ definitely gonna read the only one left like a steak *deliberately*
Eizen1225 #2
My heart at Of beach stars-- wouldn't stop thumping hard esp at almost the last part. I know they're gonna die but the fact they didn't die alone (I mean tzuyu didn't have to wait) gave me some comfort at least. Very well written so beautiful.. you relayed things well shortly and very well - I almost tear up.. if THANK YOU FOR THIS ♡
Eizen1225 #3
I thank my poor memory on not remembering what the stories about. The only thing I remember is I loved this story and that I've read this before. What a great story-- you very much sent me the feels in this stories ♡ RARE TO READ ANY GREAT SATZU FICS NOW SO IM ALWAYS GLAD TO HAVE A LOT TO LOOK BACK AND READ AGAIN- ESP THIS ♡ THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS
2ezfortzuyu_
#4
Chapter 2: I love your stories so much. They're so beautiful and captivating. I was so immersed that i actually cried at the end xD Your stories are so unique and you're such an amazaing writer ! I wish you all the best and thank you so much <3
PolarIce9 #5
Chapter 2: This is so beautiful (ಥ﹏ಥ)
The way you write this to make its ending give 2 different feels is just amazing (>w< )
Thank you author-nim!
jinnyjjh
#6
Chapter 2: This wrecked me so damn good (or bad, idk).
I hate unhappy-endings. Yet I love beautiful angst.
And this SaTzu-angst is beyond beautiful.
Thank you...
OnePotatoTwoPotato #7
Chapter 2: kk im bawling my eyes out at this chapter (╥﹏╥) I just discovered this now while browsing through aff and im- a ing mess. Its so good.
Mina_tozaki29
#8
Chapter 2: Your story its very beautiful you've make me cry :'( I love satzu.
paintted-scars
#9
Chapter 2: im crying :'( this is too beautiful
Lost_once
#10
Chapter 1: Whoa, the first chapter blew me away. You had a very cinematographic description (if you know what I mean). Reading your first story is like watching a romance movie.