They say that love is never supposed to hurt. Love is supposed to heal, to be your haven from misery, to make living ing worthwhile. Mina used to believe that simple saying, until she got to understand the real definition of love and the fact that just because you love someone, it doesn't make you instantly happy. In fact, she was deeply in love. Yes, she was. She knew all those feelings, she was all too familiar with the famous butterflies in her stomach whenever she saw her lover, just like all those romantic books. However much you want someone to want you, there is nothing you can do to make it happen. Whatever you do for them, whatever you give them, whatever you let them take, it can never be enough. Never enough to be sure. Never enough to satisfy them. Never enough to stop them from walking away. 

Never enough to make them love you.

 Her friends always told her to not complain about her relationship with Yoongi. Mostly because they've been dating for two years now and Yoongi had told her about his schedule and how hard it would be for them during comebacks or tours. Yet Mina agreed on dating him anyways because she was in love with him. So, for any misunderstanding, they said it was her fault. Not Yoongi's. Which was a lie, of course. 

It all started when Yoongi was on a tour. He used to call her everyday before a concert or when he was in his hotel room, saying it was nice going back to America after so long, or that it would be easy for him to live there for the rest of his life producing music and that she could join him because she could speak English fluently. Though he would make sure to mention that he would miss his family and korean food and those were probably the reasons that would hold him back. He would tell her about his day and how he had missed her, how tired he was but so happy to see his fans again and he would ask about her life without him and she would always lie saying she was used to his absence when deep inside her she was hurting. She would say she missed him but not too much, she wouldn't say she couldn't sleep at night or how she couldn't focus on her work because of him. The last thing she wanted was to make him worry over the smallest things.

 However, it's been four days since he last called her and even though Mina knew that the tour was ending soon, she didn't want to bother him. If he wanted to talk to her, he would call. But the day he returned came, and he wasn't the person she felt in love with. He was cold around her, he barely paid any attention to her. When she would ask if he was okay, he would say that he's too busy and tired for anything else. She would cook for him, clean his clothes, she would pick him up from practise with her car whenever it rained and she wouldn't expect a thank you.

The words "I love you" seemed so broken and so inaccurate and the words "I promise" seemed so trite and so distant. Mina started wondering if it was something she did or say. Or maybe he was indeed tired and he just needed some space. Or maybe giving him space was a mistake on the first place. "Yoongi, what's wrong? Please talk to me, baby." She whispered and raised her head to look at him as she had buried her face in his chest. "Nothing's wrong. I'm just tired." He used the same excuse and Mina sighed and sat up sick of his attitude. Yoongi did the same as he noticed her mood for a serious conversation. "You always say that, but I'm not sure if you even mean it. Did I do something wrong?"

"I just came back from our tour, I need a couple of days to rest." He explained now a bit angry at her being overdramatic. "It's been a month, Yoongi. A month. Am I seriously the only one who sees that something is going wrong with you? You kept telling me that you miss me and that you love me, but now, it feels like you stopped having all those feelings on the first place." She said trying to hold back her tears as Yoongi was staring at her with a blank expression.

"But I say I love you every single day." He muttered and Mina clicked her tongue and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I hear you say that, Yoongi. But I don't feel it. It sounds like you don't even mean it. Do you even love me or you're just too tired to even think if you truly do?"

"Well I mean it. I don't just say it. I do love you but I get really annoyed whenever you exaggerate about everything. I'm tired and yes, if it takes more than a month for me to rest then you should understand that and let me do so!" Yoongi explained angrily then stood up and started getting dressed. "Where are you going?" Mina asked with a thin voice. "I'm going out. Don't wait for me. I'll sleep at the dorms." Was all he said before he walked out of the room and Mina started crying as long as she heard the front door closing with a loud thump. 

***

"Wow you look terrible!" Ahyeon commented when her friend, Mina, sat across from her. Mina pretended she didn't hear her as she ordered her cappuccino. "What happened?" She asked in a worried tone and Mina buried her face in her palms. "Yoongi." She muttered and Ahyeon clicked her tongue. "I know that. What did he do?" 

"I think we had a fight last night. And it's my fault. I told him about the insecurities I have this past month for our relationship and he got mad then left. He just doesn't seem to notice anything wrong going on with us or if he does notice it, he just doesn't care. I don't know what to do anymore." Mina explained and sighed sadly, while Ahyeon was looking at her with sympathetic eyes. "Listen, I think you should give him some space. Let him be. Don't call him, nor text or visit him for a while. Just see what he wants from you. He's probably having a phase and wants to be left alone. Understand that and wait for him. That's all you can do for now."

Mina thought about her friend's advice and realised that this was the only thing she could do. If there was indeed something wrong with him, he would have the time to think about it and come to her for help or to talk. Pressuring him for something so unimportant was something she was trying to avoid. However, what came next, couldn't describe the slightest of how important their situation actually was. And all of that right in front of her face.

She would hold back from calling, from texting, from visiting. She would avoid her thoughts and her feelings reminding her how much she had missed him. His scent, his voice, his hugs, his kisses. His affection. Even though that was lost long ago, Mina couldn't stop recalling the good times. When he would hug her back without a warning and would bury his face in the crook of her neck. When he would wake her up in the middle of the night with the excuse that he had forgotten to tell her how much he loved her and cherished her. When he would pretend to be tough and emotionless whenever she acted cute in front of him, but he was boiling inside of him. When he would call while she was working and start saying inappropriate things to her just to . When she would visit him - because Jungkook had called as his hyung was locked up in his studio again and hadn't seen the sunlight for days- and would bring food with her as she was worried about his well being. And Yoongi would always make time for her. Always.

Things got hard for her those two weeks she hadn't heard anything from Yoongi. She started feelings hopeless and thoughts like what if he moved on had captured her mind. She even made a promise to herself to never put your trust and love to someone that can break you so easily. Words like 'happiness' and 'sleep' were removed from her daily vocabulary. During the morning, she would bite her lips in order to ignore all the thoughts regarding him no matter how difficult that was. During the night, she would even dream of him when they were together before the tour. Before anything bad. She was lost between dreams and reality.

However, she didn't know, Yoongi would return. That he would knock on her door one day and would beg for forgiveness. Because those weeks were like hell for him and he had missed her terribly much. Because he was so busy he couldn't text or call or even visit and he was very regretful for that. Because he loved her and he couldn't let her go so easily. And Mina started wondering if writing a simple text like asking if she was okay really took him so much time. But those thoughts only lasted for a couple of seconds. Because Yoongi was back and that was the only thing that mattered to her.

But she was just another fool to believe those words. A fool in love.