Dear Jinki,

I've fallen much harder than ever before, but at least I still had enough sense left to know this. I know I've often promised, but this will truly be the end of that Kibum. I have gone very far away to a place completely free of the temptations of substance. I can heal now that he's gone. It may seem a bit cruel of me to say, but I'm more at peace now that Jonghyun has passed. Although as I write this, tears can't help but cover the page, because I knew for a long time that our last happy moments together had already passed when we were young. I knew even as I looked at him from across the way that we would never be the same again. No of luck or spontaneous recovery could ever have changed that. I was waiting for him with nothing but false hope blinding my denying eyes. It was agony, the worst torture imaginable. Now that he's gone... I have no hope left. Therefore, nothing can cripple me further. I can finally be free. I can move forward without doubt, because I know for sure now that he'll never come back to me. Not even faith can delude me now. I will stay here, up in the mountains, until I can learn never to fall victim to substance again. I hope you are not worrying much for me. I know I have not been the easiest to reach lately, but rest assured, I am doing as well as can be expected of me. I also hope that we may write to each other more often now. You are the only friend that I have left in this world. The post here is as could be assumed of such a remote place, so we may not receive each other's letters for quite some time after sent. However, I am as willing to be patient as you are. Write to me soon so that I may receive it by the holidays.

All the best,

Kim Kibum

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