“you know, taemin, i think it’s about time you went to your first dorm party,” jonghyun says to him on the one monday when, surprisingly, taemin’s humanities class gets cancelled. that day was also the day that taemin, surprisingly, woke up early enough to get to class before the professor and most of his classmates did.

“and what made you think that?” taemin asks, shrugging off jonghyun’s heavy arm off of his shoulders, and shoves his hands into his pockets.

“you kissing jinki hyung.”

taemin’s eyes widen and turns his head sharply to the older, who has a smirk on his face that taemin would very much like to roundhouse kick off – except he doesn’t know how to do that.

“who told you?”

“you honestly think kibum wouldn’t tell me?” jonghyun smirks and pulls his ringing phone from his pocket.

taemin grumbles about needing to strangle kibum while jonghyun checks his phone. he’s still a little bitter about that event because it hadn’t ended the way he wanted it to. after kibum found them – he excused himself to leave first because jonghyun was asking for food - an awkward silence fell upon him and jinki. jinki composed himself first and put on half a smile and led taemin out of the bathroom telling him they’d talk about it later.

they haven’t spoken since that morning. it’s been three days.

“hey, i need to go. emergency in the music room.”

taemin stares at him with a do-i-seriously-look-that-stupid-to-you-? look and asked, “you mean you need to go and make out with kibum hyung in the music room while amber keeps a watch out with krystal by the door? sure, hyung, you can go.”

jonghyun looks like he wants to say something for a moment but he decides against it and smiles, ruffling his hair. he jogs off with a wave and a ‘we’ll talk more later’.

taemin shakes his head and continues trudging back towards their dorm. he thinks of how nice it would be to get to sleep at this time of the morning for once without having to cut class or being late.

so taemin sleeps for a whole hour, undisturbed, until jonghyun’s back and jumping on his bed. he isn’t sure which he hates more, the fact that jonghyun woke him up the same way he did this morning or the fact that he had to wake up to that twice. there was a difference.

“what, hyung.”

“so, friday night; eight o’clock; donghae hyung’s room. and you’re going to be late for your next class, i hope you know that,” jonghyun tells him, plopping down on the bed, narrowly missing squashing taemin’s arm with his . “be there, okay?”

“yeah, yeah, fine, whatever.”

he drags himself out of bed for what was the second time that morning and rushes back onto campus with his shoes untied and his bag half-open.

as established my kibum and jonghyun, taemin has the worst luck. he trips on his untied laces and the contents of his bag spill out on the pavement. he pulls himself slowly up with a few swear words and wincing at the pain in his knees. he gathers his things and shoves them into his bag, not caring if any papers get crumpled. he ties his laces and straightens up, preparing for another run, but minho’s in the way and holding out a pen.

taemin’s eyes widen and he wonders how long the other’s been standing there and watching him making a fool out of himself.

“you dropped this,” the older says, wiggling the pen in front of his face. it’s his favorite pen; the one that’s run out of ink a long time ago but taemin’s never had the heart to throw it. he knows that minho knows this.

“thanks.”

minho wastes no time on staring matches so as soon as taemin takes the pen back and shoves it into his bag, he walks away. taemin watches his retreating form and thinks, hey, i’m already late anyway

“there’s a dorm party this friday night. are you going?” he asks, hands gripping the strap of his bag, and, again, has to wonder why he doesn’t think things through before he actually does them. he knows minho might think of him as a bipolar freak who hates him one day and wants to be his friend the next. but taemin just wants things to be normal if minho’s going to be around all the time, because he knows he wants jinki around all the time, and where jinki’s at, minho’s sure to be there too.

“maybe. why?” the other replies, turning back around to face taemin still with that blank serious look on his face.

“i’m going too. i’ll probably see you there.”

minho thinks for a moment and flicks his hair out of his eyes. “is that your way of telling me i shouldn’t go?”

taemin blinks and wonders where this side of minho came from all of a sudden.

“what, no. i’m just saying.” he frowns.

the other only stares at him for a few more seconds before turning and walking away from him. he can only shake his head and go to class before he’s counted as absent.

*

the week passes by slowly as it always does when there’s something to look forward to on the weekend. taemin’s classes are longer and his nights doing homeworks are even longer and more tiring. he just wants this week to be over so he can go to a party, drink, and just get all crazy like all those people in movies do.

then again, of course, there’s still wednesday to look forward to. not only will he be seeing jinki in choir, but he’ll also be at their dorm, tutoring him. taemin isn’t sure whether he’s supposed to be excited or anxious, because he wants to talk to jinki about that kiss, but then he doesn’t want to talk to him about it either. being a teenager, even if he’s on his last year already, is still difficult, no matter what level of schooling he’s in.

when wednesday rolls around, taemin fidgets in his seat all throughout his only afternoon class, constantly taking glances at the clock to see if it was 3 o’clock yet. he taps his pen repeatedly on his textbook which causes the student in front of him to turn back and shush him. he apologizes and puts his pen down. he stays still for a few minutes, actually listening to his professor, but his leg starts bouncing and his fingers start doing a tap dance on his table. his professor stops and, looking fairly annoyed, tries his best at kindly telling him to shut up. he apologizes again and keeps his fingers laced together on his lap.

he’s just about ready to stand up and walk off all this hyperactiveness when he looks at the clock and sees that it’s only 2:45. but all of a sudden their professor dismisses them in a clipped voice making a speech about how time will still move at the same pace no matter how many times you look at the clock and will it to move faster, but taemin hears nothing because he’s grabbing all his things and running out the door.

when he gets to the choir room, he’s still quite early, but jinki’s there, sitting by the piano and looking all kinds of good-looking. he’s playing a song taemin isn’t quite familiar with but he looks so into the piece that he doesn’t even notice taemin come in until he closes the door. jinki looks up and looks startled at first but then his features melt into an easy smile.

“hey.”

‘hey’, he says. three days of not seeing each other since they kissed and ‘hey’ is all he says. taemin wants to throw something at the wall, maybe his head.

“hey hyung.”

he walks over, putting his bag down at a corner and sits next to jinki at the bench. even with jinki moving over to give him more space, their thighs are still touching and their arms are still brushing against each other when they move. jinki’s fingers are on the white keys of the piano they have, but he doesn’t play anything. they’re both sitting in silence while the rest of the world around them is in class.

“we, uhm, we never got to talk,” taemin says bravely, heart pounding against his chest and fingers shaking against his palms.

“right, about the, uhm, yeah. sorry about that, i’ve had papers to be done and students to tutor.”

“you tutor other people too?” taemin asks, kind of jealous, because he thought only he was being tutored by jinki and now he wonders if those students stare at jinki the whole time instead of listening too. do they spill water on him and lend him their sweaters? do they smell him and feel like they’re on cloud nine? do they ask him to explain things again just so they can listen to his voice the whole session?

taemin listens to himself rant silently and wonders when he became so smitten with the older.

“yeah, but only for a while. i just needed the money to pay for some stuff i bought online.”

“oh, they pay you? why aren’t i paying you?”

“you’re special,” jinki answers with a smile at him.

taemin feels like he’s melting on the inside and exploding with joy on the outside. the look jinki gives him is just so—so—he doesn’t even know, but what he does know is he really just wants to kiss him again. so he does.

he leans forward with a small smile and half lidded eyes prepared to close for that moment of fireworks. but when he finally purses his lips, jinki turns his head away and taemin ends up kissing his cheek instead. he pulls away, a little hurt and a little embarrassed because he didn’t expect that to happen. didn’t they just have one of those moments girls gush about in those teen movies?

“i’m sorry, taemin, but i don’t want to do this. i don’t mean that in a bad way, i promise. it’s just—I see you like a brother, you know, or some kind of close relative. i thought about it a lot over the weekend and i can’t really see us going down that road. i’d rather like to keep you as a friend and fight about trivial things with you and laugh about them after than having you as a that kind of friend and fighting about trivial things with you and breaking up with you after. you’re special to me, taem. i don’t want to lose you like that.”

jinki wraps his arms around taemin tightly in a physical form of his speech. taemin doesn’t know if he wants to cry because this is how rejection feels like, or if he wants to laugh and smile because jinki’s special to him and he’d hate to lose him too.

“can we not get all awkward after this please? i’m awkward enough as it is,” jinki says, pulling away from their hug and patting taemin’s hair.

“yeah. yeah, that’d be nice. besides, now that i think about it, i might be a little too young for you, hyung.”

taemin laughs as jinki yells an offended ‘yah!’ and runs away from the older chasing him around the room. it still hurts to be rejected like that, he supposes, but if this is what he gets in exchange for it, it’s more than enough compensation.

*

it’s finally friday and it’s finally 8 pm, but they still haven’t left because kibum’s over at their dorm room and fussing over taemin like it’s nobody’s business – particularly jonghyun’s.

“kibum, let’s go! it’s just a dorm party, not his freaking prom!”

“a first is a first and i want taeminnie to be all dressed up and hot for it! now go make yourself useful and stand by the door where you can’t get in the way.”

jonghyun makes a face at the back of kibum’s head when he turns away and goes to stand by the door just like the younger ordered him to do. taemin wants to laugh so hard at how whipped jonghyun is, but he knows that if he does, the other will just make a comment on the outfit that kibum already dressed him up in which would ultimately lead to being even more late and taemin looking like he was puked out of a harajuku site – which he’s been trying to avoid since kibum came in the room at 5.

“i really think this is enough, kibum hyung. it’s just a party with a bunch of people we see all the time,” he tries to convince the other who’s mouth is still pursed in thought, staring at the pile of clothes on taemin’s bed.

“fine, i think you’re right. time to go.”

they both ignore the incredulous that’s-what-i’ve-been-saying-for-the-past-how-long look on jonghyun’s face and exit the room.

they make their way to donghae’s dorm room still arguing about how late they were and how it doesn’t matter if they’re late it’s a party. frankly, the whole argument, starting from when jonghyun was trying to get them to leave early, didn’t really make sense, but hey, what’s life if everything in it does.

their welcome is a doorway full of donghae who has his arm around this guy taemin’s heard of as another kim kibum – funny how that happens in korea – and an earful of loud music and laughter. they’re ushered in and, already, have drinks in their hands. taemin sniffs at it first before taking a sip and making a face.

“you get used to it,” jonghyun tells him, chuckling.

taemin thought that the three of them would be spending the party in each other’s company because they’ve already talked about taemin’s lack of friends, but taemin thought wrong, just like that time he thought that jonghyun was into that sekyung girl. not even five minutes into the party and he already finds himself alone in a crowded room with a still full cup of drink – whatever it was. he curses the day those two were born and decides quickly that this loud and stuffy atmosphere just isn’t for him. he makes his way into the bathroom where he supposes no one will be at a party, but for the second time that night, he thinks wrong.

minho’s already in there, sitting on the sink and getting friendly with the empty cup in his hand. taemin closes the door behind him and leans back on it, placing his own cup on the sink beside minho.

“i didn’t know you drank,” he says, trying to start a normal conversation in such weird circumstances.

“i don’t, not really. that was my first time drinking soju and my second… third cup and i feel weird already. donghae hyung forced me to drink it.”

taemin thinks that’s the most minho’s said to him since forever and he really needs to stop making this whole thing sound like it’s minho’s fault in his head. he’s also starting to realize that whatever alcohol minho drank is making him more talkative than usual.

“jinki hyung told me you kissed him and you tried again the other day. he thinks you’re adorable and that you’re way too innocent for the rest of the world.”

taemin raises his eyebrows at the completely undone and out-of-it minho. “he did?”

“yeah, i think he really likes you a lot.”

minho straightens up and rubs at his face.

“not the way i hoped though,” taemin confesses, for some strange reason, and slides down to the floor. he looks up at the other who’s scoffing and laughing to himself. “what? what’s so funny?”

“just at how right i was. you like jinki hyung; you really need to be less obvious about those things.”

he stays frozen in his place on the floor, hands gripping the cloth of the flimsy shirt kibum has him in. “am i—was I really that obvious?” he wrings his hands, not worrying at all about ruining the shirt.

“oh yeah,” minho nods exaggeratedly, “totally obvious. unlike me.”

there have been many moments when taemin was so confused he felt like ripping his hair out, but this moment definitely takes the cake. one, minho was talking to him willingly; two, minho was talking a lot; three, minho was losing control of himself which is definitely not like himself; four, minho was trying to tell him something, but he isn’t exactly sure what it is; and five, well, he isn’t sure what five is yet, but he’s sure he’ll find out soon. he watches minho take the cup beside him – taemin’s cup – and gulp down the contents, making a disgusted face after.

“unlike you?” he finally asks, and realizes that minho, albeit his slightly drunken state, can still speak in slurred but complete sentences.

minho nods again, eyes half-closed already, and looks at taemin through the strands of hair falling into his expressive eyes.

“yeah. unlike me. i was in love with you when we were best friends in highschool. it’s the reason why i felt the need to always protect you, you know? and it’s the reason why it hurt so much when you pushed me away and left me. i knew people were saying things about me and you, but i thought you wouldn’t mind so much because you still had me. didn’t think our friendship would end the way it started, you know? tch. yeah, i was in love with you. pretty sure i still am. and i’m pretty sure you couldn’t tell back then and you weren’t able to until now. and you know what hurts the most?”

taemin tries to open his mouth and it’s dry.

“you’d always get bullied because they thought you and i were gay – and they’re right, you know? – and because you were an easy target for them. i’d always come and save you because that’s what best friends do – save each other – and because i hated seeing you look like and feel like the most pitiful and hated person on earth. and what hurts the most is that those people that bullied you, those people that don’t matter, they figured out my deepest darkest secret while you, the person who mattered the most to me, couldn’t even tell how much i love you.”

taemin’s stares at him, jaw slack and eyes wide open, trying to process everything that’s just been confessed to him. he wants to get up and smack minho on the arm because he knew all along why he was being bullied and didn’t stop doing what caused it, but the way minho looks at him, sad and empty, keeps him in place.

“wasn’t i obvious enough?”

end





a/n: just kidding, it's not the end. ㅋㅋㅋㅋ i apologize if this update took way too long D: i'm sorry to the ontae shippers out there ;_; but, ontae is meant to be cute and friendly to me, i'm sorry. onho and 2min shippers, you still have a fighting chance :">. jongkey shippers i hope you're happy XDD i don't really read much jongkey, neither am i a big jongkey shipper, but they do have their moments. love or hate this chapter, please do comment. :"> your comments are what keep me writing, really