15/03/16

Almost one month passed and things have been crazy for me. I’m confused, I feel so light in my head yet this feeling is so wonderful and I think I’m in my acceptance phase,where I do accept my feelings for him. Everytime I think my feelings for him start to reduce, the crush feelings hit me right in the face the moment I see him. But alright remember when I told about my dream about him. In my dream he told me he is 22 and guess what, the next day my friend sent me a message that it was his birthday and he turned 23. I couldn’t believe my eyes, my dream told me something and it turned out to be true. What does this actually mean? I literally had no idea and I knew nothing about him. My dream could tell me something totally different but Instead these exact number showed up ‘’22’’. He may turned 23 that day, but it was literally one day before when I had that dream.

That day when I walked past the room where people can smoke, I saw him sitting there with his cigarette. At first I was kinda suprised because I actually didn’t expect him to smoke because of his baby face, but I couldn’t help but think it looked so hot when he blew out the smoke the moment I looked into the room and saw him looking too. I have nothing against smokers though but I’m just a person who hates the smell of cigarette because it makes my nose and throat itch.

I just can’t stop thinking about that day when he smiled back at me again. I didn’t expect that sweet smile to appear on his face until I looked at him and saw his beautiful plump and juicy lips curling upwards into a smile. A smile that could outshine the brightest star in the universe. But am I being delusional when I say that I caught him looking at me (my direction) a few times now.  Like that one time when I was cleaning a table in C area. Me and my cousin always make funny faces to each other and so did we do it again when she walked past the table I was cleaning. I called her to ask her something because it was needed for the table. The sushi bar was like behind her and he was there sweeping the floor with a broom. When I quickly looked past her to catch a glimpse of him, he was leaning on the broom and staring at us for a long time. It couldn’t be something else, we were the only one standing in that area. I don’t know what I need to think to be honest, this has happened a few times now. I’m starting to think I’m seeing things and being blind, but some things are just noticable. Like everytime I walk past him, he clears his throat, Like EVERYTIME. It must be coincidence, but also evertime I look over /to look at him/ I see he’s also looking. It makes me go crazy in my head, I can’t think and function properly when I’m near him. Almost dropping plates, laughing randomly when talking to colleagues even when it’s not funny and when I can feel his presence. Maybe I’m being too obvious? Maybe he thinks I’m a creep, maybe he noticed I’ve been looking at him a lot? I shouldn’t show it too much or things would get awkward and hard for me..
 

''You should let me love you, let me be the one to
Give you everything you want and need
Baby good love and protection, make me your selection
Show you the way love's supposed to be
Baby you should let me love you, love you, love you,
Love you yeah''