a/n: i aM FINALLY DONE *sweats* i am so so so sorry for uploading this part so late!! i was actually halfway done with this chapter when i published the other two, but since then i've basically had no free time at all, so i haven't been able to finish it until now..... i hope you didn't lose interest in this while you waited ;;;;

also, before you start reading, a little disclaimer: i know close to nothing about how christmas is celebrated in the UK, as i'm (obviously) not british. i just gathered what I had read in the harry potter books, lol. things are very different in my country (besides, i myself don't celebrate it much at all).

hope this chapter won't make you too disappointed! ;;

 

It was the very last day of the term. After that, the holidays were starting, and most of the students would go home to celebrate with their families. Therefore, the atmosphere was rather festive; Christmas was soon, after all. All of their tests were over, and today would just be a calm and relaxing day, for a change, before everyone would throw small holiday parties in their respective common rooms.

Jongdae, however, was staying in bed. He would rather avoid all the celebrations today, not interact with the other students at all. Skipping school today proved to be easy, he hadn’t needed to come up with a good excuse. His dormmates had understood. They had not even questioned him.

Jongdae felt a little bit like a coward for not going out there, facing what he feared. And he usually didn’t skip classes. But he was only skipping one day of school, and it was the last of the term, so he would not miss anything important anyway. It was significantly better to stay in bed than have people stare at him, judge him, and worst of all give Chanyeol the pleasure of having humiliated him.

It had turned out just like his Divination teacher had predicted; what had happened last week made what he feared come true. His deepest secret was exposed, and now he knew what it was, too. Jongdae had kind of figured it out a couple of days ago, frustrated with himself for not noticing it before.

Yes, he had… feelings for Chanyeol. The worst of feelings. Really, he could’ve liked anyone else, anyone, and it would not have been as horrible as this. It could have been Hyuna, Kris, his Divination teacher, Peeves, one of Chanyeol’s obnoxious friends… Just not Chanyeol himself. Someone he had always believed he hated.

Jongdae actually figured it had something to do with that. That he’d probably had strong feelings for Chanyeol all along, but thought it was hate instead of… the opposite. . Everything about Chanyeol was so incredibly attractive, and Jongdae hated himself for thinking so. However, it was inevitable. Just… his tall, slim figure, his nice skin, his face, the pretty eyes, the round lips, his stupid huge ears… his deep voice and long neck and big hands and obnoxious personality… Right now Jongdae felt like an actual piece of rubbish, someone who would belong in a garbage bin.

He’d had the feeling since the accident with the love potion, but had chosen to ignore it. Thinking it would go away after Chanyeol returned to his normal state of mind. It was not until that horrific lesson in Potions that Jongdae let himself consider the possibility that he had inappropriate feelings about Chanyeol. The scent from their teacher’s Amortentia made him realise it; Jongdae had clearly smelled the distinguishable scent of Chanyeol, the same thing he had smelled when they had lunch together on the hill.

The realisation was one of the scariest things Jongdae had experienced. Therefore he had not been able to concentrate during the lesson, either, and because of that failing terribly. Humiliating himself in front of his classmates. Ending up in the hospital wing. With Chanyeol, of all people, whose presence seemed to follow him as if it were a bad joke.

The only thing Jongdae could think of that was more horrifying than his own realisation was Chanyeol’s realisation. After coming to terms with the fact that he was attracted to that bad excuse for a human being, Jongdae decided it would be fine as long as he would be able to cover it up. If nobody knew, it wouldn’t matter. He only had a year and a half left of school, he could manage.

However, it did not take a long time until someone discovered about his secret. Only a couple of days. And of course that someone had to be Chanyeol, too. If fate had a face Jongdae would spit in it.

The conversation he had with Chanyeol the day before was the worst thing that could have happened. Chanyeol had found out about his secret in the most bizarre of ways, and then made sure to have the entire school know about it. What could possibly be worse than that?

Jongdae pulled his covers tightly around him. There was no way he could face the rest of the school today. It was after all impossible for him to cast memory charms on the entire student body. Sighing deeply, he leaned back into his bed and drifted off to sleep.

 

His day was mostly spent by sleeping, since there were not a lot of other things he could do. One time Jongdae read through his Charms textbook, then practised the nonverbal levitation charm. To his relief, he succeeded a couple of times with levitating the book above ground. All thanks to the fact that Chanyeol wasn’t around.

Sometimes he would think of what had happened about a week ago, when his prank had gone wrong. When Chanyeol had been nice. When he had almost… kissed him. Even though he tried not to, Jongdae could not help but imagine how things could’ve turned out if the potion had worked a little bit longer… He was so ashamed of himself.

Around lunchtime, Kris came to his dorm, carrying a plate of shepherd’s pie in his hands.

“JD, how are you? Brought you some lunch”, he said and waved carelessly with the plate, almost dropping the contents to the floor.

“I’m alright… and thanks”, Jongdae replied, and realised for the first time that day how incredibly hungry he was. He had not eaten breakfast, after all.

“The weather today is great. There’s snow everywhere, but it isn’t cold enough to make your hands freeze off. It’s not the ideal Quidditch weather but I’m going to try anyway. You should also go outside a bit”, Kris said while Jongdae was busy eating.

“What are you, my mother?” Jongdae paused to say, mouth still filled with half-chewed food.

“No, you do what you want, but… hiding here won’t make things any better, you know. Besides, things are not so bad. Most people don’t even seem to believe the rumours. They think they’re too absurd to be true.”

Well, the truth is rather absurd, Jongdae thought, but he did not feel like telling Kris that. It was therefore silent between them for a while, the only sounds coming from Jongdae as he ate.

“I think you should talk to him”, Kris uttered when Jongdae was finished.

“Who’s him?” Jongdae asked, even though he was sure who Kris was referring to.

“Park”, Kris replied, confirming Jongdae’s suspicions. Jongdae raised an eyebrow.

“Why in the world should I talk to him? The less I see of him, the happier I am”, he muttered.

“Well, he did screw up. He might want to explain.”

“What, he managed to make a fool out of me and have the entire school hear about it? Isn’t that what he wanted?”

Kris sighed.

“It doesn’t seem like that”, he said, “he seems regretful.”

“How do you know?” asked Jongdae, what Kris said did not make sense to him. Why would Chanyeol feel regret after doing the ultimate prank?

“He came up to me when I was on my way out of the hall to deliver the food to you. He said that if I was going to talk to you, I should tell you he was sorry, and he didn’t mean to do what he did.”

“He… what?”

“Yeah, I know”, Kris shrugged, “He probably should’ve thought of that before he created those rumours, huh. Well, I still think you should talk to him about this.”

“But, he didn’t…” Jongdae trailed off. He did not want to tell Kris about what really had happened. Not right now.

“Anyway, I should go now, I have class. Catch ya later, JD”, Kris said in a way he probably thought sounded cool, and left. Jongdae kind of wanted him to stay a bit longer, to make him less alone. Now, the only company Jongdae had were his thoughts.

Kris seemed to think Chanyeol had created those rumours, as a prank or something. That was not… exactly what had happened. Now that Jongdae thought about it, it seemed a bit unlikely that Chanyeol had planned it all, like he previously had believed. During their talk yesterday, Chanyeol had almost seemed as nervous as Jongdae had been, and he was genuinely surprised when Peeves had appeared. And he actually tried to keep Peeves from shouting out what he had heard.

But, if humiliating him wasn’t Chanyeol’s intention, then why did he confront Jongdae about his feelings? What could he possibly gain from that, except having the pleasure of making Jongdae absolutely horrified?

 

That afternoon, when everyone’s classes were over, Jongdae’s housemates started preparing for the party they were throwing that evening. It was a tradition to have a small party the evening before the holidays started, as most of them would go home the next day; it was kind of a final celebration before parting. Everyone did it, not just the Slytherins. However, parties were usually held in the common rooms of the respective houses, making it a more house-centred event.

When the other boys in Jongdae’s year returned to the dorm they only greeted him briefly before heading for the common room, and at the moment they were probably putting up decorations or perhaps wandering to the kitchens for free food. Jongdae did not feel like joining them. It was strange, how easily affected he was by all of the drama surrounding Chanyeol.

It was not until the party was about to start that Jongdae saw anyone again. Some of Jongdae’s dormmates returned to make themselves ready for the festivities, and every single one of them asked him to join. Jongdae, although a bit reluctantly, said no to all of their requests. They seemed a bit, if not very, surprised since Jongdae probably was the biggest party-goer out of all of them.

“I’ve never seen you like this”, one of them said, “you’re always so, I don’t know, happy… and upbeat.” Jongdae shrugged in reply, not really knowing what to say.

 

Jongdae was just about to grab a book to read during his evening of solitude when Kris entered again, this time with neatly styled hair and smelling a bit like Mrs Skower’s All-Purpose Magical Mess Remover.

“JD, come on”, he said vaguely, but it was obvious what he wanted Jongdae to do.

“Why?”

“I can’t have you skipping this party, too. I don’t care if you’re skipping school, but skipping parties is a completely different thing. If I know you well, you actually want to go. Am I right or am I right?”

Jongdae sighed.

“You know why I don’t feel like going.”

“It’s about those silly rumours, huh? I think you’re overreacting. No one seems to care about them except you. I don’t think anyone here believes them, either. Now, come with me”, Kris persisted and pulled Jongdae’s arm lightly. Jongdae sighed a second time but followed Kris to the door anyway.

“Fine.”

 

Jongdae had expected people to stare at him, to whisper amongst themselves when he entered the common room, but no such thing happened. Most people did not seem to care about his arrival, and those who did smiled at him (one of his classmates even patted him on the back). Actually, they were rather supportive of him. One person said that only stupid people would believe the rumours, and another even told him that he’d glared at Chanyeol while passing him by in the corridors earlier that day. Jongdae almost felt overwhelmed, telling the guy he didn’t have to do things like that for his sake. The guy just laughed, telling Jongdae he purely did it for his own amusement.

Despite the fact that it was almost Christmas and tacky decorations were in season, the common room had been decorated quite tastefully (Jongdae did not want to think about how it might look like in the Gryffindor common room). Most of the decorations were green, which fit the rest of the interior very well, and even though some of the things were a bit minimalistic the large room was still cosy, just like how it was supposed to be during the winter.

After tasting a few of the snacks that some fifth years had brought from the kitchen, Jongdae spotted Hyuna sitting in the sofa in one of the corners, a place where they usually spent a lot of time. She smiled at him as he sat down next to her.

“Look who’s here! Come to help me suffer through this?”

“Suffer through? Kris said it’d be fun.”

“Well, I said it last year and I’ll say it again: I like my parties less… regulated.”

Jongdae could see what she meant. The teachers were usually strict with parties, and had told them that everyone should be in bed by eleven. Additionally, no alcohol was allowed. Jongdae thought that was quite obvious since most of them were underage, and this was a party for students of all years to take part of (the thought of eleven-year-olds drinking was pretty scary). Besides, right now he was actually relieved that no one had brought any. The few times he had been drunk had been alright, he supposed, but during some of them he had done pretty stupid things. Such as kissing a girl he didn’t know the name of and wasn’t attracted to in his fifth year, all because of some dare.

…Now that he thought about it, he couldn’t ever recall being attracted to a girl at all. Things were starting to make sense.

“Hyuna… how did you find out you liked girls?” he asked before he could regret it.

“Why are you asking that all of a sudden? And well, I don’t really remember, I just… knew. Like, it was obvious from the beginning. It was impossible for me not to like girls”, she explained, and Jongdae took a deep breath. He knew he had to tell someone. Talk to someone who would understand. It would make things easier to deal with.

“If you want to tell me something, you can do that”, Hyuna unexpectedly said, and laid an arm around his shoulders, making him lean against her.

“Er, well, I’m… I’m pretty sure I’m gay”, he managed to utter, feeling his face heat up at a record speed.

“Oh, Jongdae. Lie down”, Hyuna ordered him, and Jongdae lay down in the sofa, his head in Hyuna’s lap. He knew she was being serious, as she usually never called him by his full given name. It was quite comforting, to be taken seriously when he needed it the most.

“I know”, Hyuna then said and Jongdae flinched. He did not expect that either.

“How could you know that? I didn’t know until recently”, he said questioningly. Hyuna started to run her fingers through his hair.

“I could just tell.”

Jongdae scowled.

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“You don’t make sense”, was Hyuna’s automatic comeback, and Jongdae sighed.

“I know”, he muttered silently.

“Hey, there you two are! Thought I lost you for a minute”, Kris said, appearing in front of them. Sitting down in the armchair opposite them, he then followed up with, “What are you talking about?”

Hyuna glanced down at him and Jongdae took another deep breath.

“I… I just told Hyuna that… I’m gay”, he mumbled.

“You’re what?” Kris asked, his expression making it evident that he had heard what Jongdae said but didn’t quite believe it.

“I like boys”, Jongdae explained, because apparently he needed to do that.

“You do?! But, since when-”

“Oh, pull yourself together, Krissy boy, it’s not like you haven’t noticed”, Hyuna snapped, silencing Kris who looked like he had some sort of realisation. Jongdae was a bit irritated. It felt like he was being left out on something, something that actually concerned him.

“Noticed what?”

He looked up at Hyuna who continued to comb her fingers through his hair. Jongdae rather liked it, it was calming. Plus, he could spot a couple of guys eyeing him enviously, and that made him enjoy his position even more. He couldn’t help but smirk slightly at them.

“It’s Park, isn’t it? I’m glad you’ve finally realised. Took you some time”, Hyuna then explained and Jongdae automatically twitched at the mention of Chanyeol’s name.

“No, why would I- yes. Yes, it’s… true”, Jongdae admitted, changing his stance halfway through his sentence. He knew it would be pointless to lie at this point; Hyuna had evidently figured it out as well.

“The rumours are true. But don’t tell anyone that I… have feelings for him. They’d probably believe it if it came from you”, Jongdae continued, almost whispering at this point. Feeling ashamed of himself, he rolled over a bit so that he was facing Hyuna’s stomach area instead of having to look at her or Kris’s faces. Or, even worse, letting them look at his.

“We won’t tell anyone, what do you even think of us? Right, Hyuna?” Kris finally said.

“Of course.”

“H-how did you know that I, er, fancy Park?” Jongdae asked as silently as possible, not to have anyone overhearing them. He’d had enough of that for this week.

“Dae, please. It’s been obvious from the start. You’re so obsessed with him”, Hyuna said lightly.

“I’m not obsessed!”

“Keep telling yourself that. You’re always talking about him, you always react when you hear his name being mentioned, you always put in a lot of effort in those pranks, you’re always watching him and you’re really not subtle about these things. I’m surprised it took you this long to figure out your feelings for the guy.”

As per usual, Hyuna was not one to sugarcoat things. She gave him the truth like a slap in the face. Jongdae felt like crawling up and dying right there, in the sofa with his head in Hyuna’s lap. Really, humiliation was too small of a word to describe what he was experiencing at the moment.

“But how did Park find out? I’ve always thought he seemed a bit, er, oblivious.”

“Well, he…” Jongdae considered not telling them, but since he had told them so much already he might as well continue. “A couple of days ago, he wanted revenge for the, um, love potion incident, and tricked me into drinking Amortentia by pouring some in my glass.”

“Amortentia?” asked Kris, as expected.

“It’s the most powerful love potion of all”, Hyuna explained and Jongdae rolled onto his back again, eyeing her face questioningly.

“How’d you know that? You’re not interested in potions.”

“Believe me, I’ve read lots about love potions”, she answered him and Jongdae decided not to pry any further on that subject. He therefore continued speaking, feeling a bit thankful of the fact that someone had decided to play music; it made it less likely for others to overhear their conversation.

“So, yeah, he made me drink some love potion, and… it didn’t work. That’s how he found out. At least, that’s what he told me yesterday.”

“Of course, the Amortentia doesn’t affect the drinker if they are already in love with the potion maker! Brilliant. That’s some solid proof he had!” Hyuna almost snickered.

“Some empathy, please”, Jongdae grunted, he did not need this right now.

“Sorry”, Hyuna said, but didn’t sound very apologetic. “What are you going to do now?”

“What can I do? I don’t ever want to talk to him again, if that’s okay.”

“I should remind you that he told me he was sorry today”, Kris told him, and Jongdae sighed, directing his gaze to a pair of dancing third years instead of looking at his friends.

“Why should I trust him?”

“Yeah, if he was the one who spread the rumours it’s a bit late for him to take it back…” Hyuna added. “Anyway, I’ve always thought he was a bit of a doofus. Amber Liu, on the other hand…” she trailed off with a smile. Jongdae sighed again.

“He… he wasn’t the one who spread the rumours, though. It was, er, Peeves. He overheard our conversation. Park actually tried to stop him, but, um, didn’t succeed. Evidently.”

Jongdae found this a bit hard to admit. Chanyeol being the bad guy was a much simpler explanation. And it made his anger towards him more logical. Somehow, Jongdae still felt that it was Chanyeol’s fault. If he hadn’t wanted to have that conversation with Jongdae in the first place, this would not have happened. Besides, Peeves said something about it being a revenge on Chanyeol for putting the blame on him for one of his pranks once. If Chanyeol hadn’t done that whenever it was, Peeves might have been more merciful (but somehow, Jongdae doubted it).

Both Hyuna and Kris seemed a bit taken aback by this new information, however.

“But… if he didn’t do it, why are you so angry with him?” asked Kris, looking puzzled.

“It was still his fault! He was the one who started it!” Jongdae instinctively defended himself.

“Started what?”

“Everything! If he hadn’t confronted me in the first place, this wouldn’t have happened! If he hadn’t decided to copy my failed prank and give me love potion, he wouldn’t have found out! If he hadn’t flung me up a tree two weeks ago, I wouldn’t have done that stupid prank on him! Actually, if he hadn’t set fire to that essay I had written in our first year, we wouldn’t be enemies at all! We would probably have a good relationship to each other! A normal one! Perhaps we’d even be friends!”

Jongdae paused to take a shaky breath, then continued to speak, voice merely a whisper.

“And then my attraction to him wouldn’t be as strange, if we were already close… Maybe he’d like me back, too… I could’ve realised it earlier and maybe, just maybe, we would already be together…”

Jongdae did not realise he was crying until Kris pointed it out for him.

 

That night, Jongdae had a difficult time sleeping. He drifted on and off to sleep, constantly in a state of being half-awake and half-asleep. That made it hard for him to separate his thoughts from his dreams; it was as though he were too awake to dream and too asleep to think. The whole experience was very bothersome, since he was feeling incredibly tired and definitely in need of some proper rest.

It was somewhere in that state that the memory came to him. The memory of the very first time he and Chanyeol had been in an argument, the time that made them the enemies they’d been since then. Therefore it was of great importance, as it was the reason to why Jongdae had started despising Chanyeol like he done for so many years.

Thinking back, Jongdae had always blamed Chanyeol for the outcome of their relationship, but as he remembered what had happened in detail, it seemed unlikely. Actually, it felt like it was more Jongdae’s fault that anyone else’s.

 

It happened about a month into their first year. Jongdae was trying his best to be a diligent and hardworking student, and so far he had been doing alright. His parents said they were proud of him, and that was what mattered the most.

Even though it was not his favourite subject, Jongdae was exceptionally good at Charms. He therefore took the subject seriously; if he did well now he had to continue doing well in the future, too. Besides, it was actually quite fun to learn and master the spells he had seen his parents use, dreaming that one day he would have the same magical skills as them.

One lesson, Jongdae had mastered a simple wand-lighting charm earlier than most of his classmates, and therefore had some extra time to work on his essay, which was supposed to be done before their next Charms lesson later that week. Jongdae was pretty good at memorising theory, if he did say so himself, and had written a lot more than necessary. But it was all for the extra points, his teacher would be proud of him and give him top marks. Which would also make his parents even prouder of him. A perfect plan.

He was almost done with his essay, and the little he had left proved to be a bit tricky to write when he couldn’t concentrate. A couple of loud Gryffindors were sitting just behind him, talking a little too loudly to be acceptable in class (but their teacher was far too soft to tell them off). Jongdae had of course considered turning around and telling them to shut their mouths many times, but he didn’t do it because he was a calm and peaceful student, who did not create trouble with his fellow classmates. Therefore, he had to endure their obnoxiousness, at least for the lesson.

Worst of all was the kid named Chanyeol Park. Jongdae hadn’t talked much to him, but he still knew a lot about the boy because of the latter’s obnoxious tendency to run his mouth. He was a round-faced boy, tall for his age, with big eyes and even bigger, pointy ears. Like Jongdae he had Korean parents, but the difference was that Chanyeol Park was also from Korea, and had only moved here recently. Which was very evident when he spoke, the poor boy could barely express himself properly. Still, he had managed to make many friends, and although Jongdae tried hard he couldn’t understand how. The kid was loud, looked kind of stupid, and had a hard time even speaking because of his lack of English vocabulary. Besides, Jongdae had seen him pick his nose more than once.

While Jongdae was thinking of things highly unrelated to his essay, it happened. The incident that ruined everything. Chanyeol Park, infamous for always failing during Charms (at least Jongdae wished he was), pointed his wand forwards, right at Jongdae’s essay parchment, and tried to perform a wand-lighting charm. Except, it was Chanyeol Park, so a simple wand-lighting charm, year one level, turned into something completely else. Fire.

Jongdae couldn’t do anything, when he reacted it was too late. His far-too-long essay had turned into black ash, spread out on the desk in front of him. It was horrific.

He tried to collect himself, thinking that his parents had brought him up to be a kind, forgiving individual, but… His essay, which he had spent so much time and effort on, was burnt into ashes. By that sad, pitiful excuse for a wizard. Jongdae could only blame the fact that his eleven-year-old brain hadn’t reached the maturity of an adult yet, as he stood up and steered his steps towards Chanyeol Park’s desk.

“You- You completely destroyed my essay! That I had worked hours on!”

Chanyeol Park looked at him, his large eyes wide, a surprised expression on his stupid face.

“No, no, I, um, it was a mistake! I’m sorry!”

He didn’t even look like he cared much, Jongdae noted. He was just sitting there, not even attempting to do something about this, only to apologise lazily as if that would make things better. Forgive and move on was something Jongdae’s father would tell him, but Jongdae found it hard to do so right now. The mere sight of Chanyeol Park’s dumb face and obnoxious personality made Jongdae get these strong, frustrated feelings, unlike anything else he had felt before.

“I’m sowwee!!” Jongdae imitated spitefully. “Do you think that’s enough for what you did? Do you think a simple sorry will bring my essay back?! You absolute idiot.”

“I say sorry at least!” Chanyeol Park, the self-righteous idiot, had the guts to defend himself in this situation. “I can’t do more! It… it’s over! Accept it!”

Jongdae took another step closer to the idiot’s desk, about to say something mean but clever in reply, but suddenly both their teacher and Hyuna were there.

“Calm down, boys!” the teacher tried, and Hyuna grabbed Jongdae’s arm.

“Dae, what’s up with you? I understand that you’re upset, but… I’ve never seen you so angry. He said he was sorry.”

Jongdae had no answer. He hadn’t seen himself so angry before, either.

Every time he would see Chanyeol Park after that, he would get the same almost hot, boiling feelings in his stomach - anger, frustration, that he took out on the other in forms of teasing. Chanyeol Park tried to get Jongdae to forgive him several times, probably wanting Jongdae to stop making fun of him, without luck.

Since then, their relationship was built on mutual dislike, a form of rivalry starting. Something that had continued until this point in their sixth year, all because of that one accident and Jongdae’s difficulties with forgiving Chanyeol.

 

The next morning Jongdae woke up feeling absolutely exhausted. In spite of that, he felt better than he had done yesterday. Maybe crying out his feelings had been a good thing. It was something he rarely did; showing weakness in front of others was not something he enjoyed. But, somehow, it had helped a bit. Jongdae felt like he could see things more clearly now. How extremely stupid he had been.

His own feelings were most likely to blame for all of this. They were what made him have a hard time forgiving Chanyeol for the incident in their first year, and what continued making him feel like he had to be better than Chanyeol in everything. To beat the person he felt so strongly for, somehow. Turning his feelings into contempt. It was all really silly, now that Jongdae thought about it.

That day, Jongdae decided to emerge from the dorms and join his friends for breakfast. The fact that his fellow Slytherins had greeted him as if nothing was wrong made him think that it probably wasn’t that bad, the rumour situation. He felt brave enough to at least attempt to face the rest of the students. Besides, this was the breakfast just before the train was departing, the train that would take the majority of the pupils home for Christmas, and Jongdae wanted to spend time together with his friends before they left.

The weather was freezing cold that day, as well. The layer of snow was not as thick, though, so it was finally possible to walk freely on the grounds. However, it would probably not last for long as the clouds made it look like another snowstorm was on the way.

Excitement was in the air, Jongdae noticed as he made his way through the common room, which had been thoroughly cleaned up after the party. He supposed a lot of his housemates were looking forward to going home and celebrate with their families (if they celebrated Christmas, that is). Jongdae, on the other hand, was staying at Hogwarts, just like he usually did. His family was not too rich and his parents had to work through most of the holidays, so it would be rather pointless for him to go back.

Both of them were employees at the Ministry, and while they didn’t talk much about their jobs, they made it sound like they were doing something really important. Jongdae doubted it, based on the fact that they were not getting paid a lot they were probably doing something pretty unimportant, like secretarial work or such. His older brother had also started working at the Ministry, and his parents had been so proud that he had followed in their footsteps. He had also been a Prefect during his time at Hogwarts, and had top grades as well.

Jongdae used to be a lot more serious about school when he was younger, just to realise he was pretty useless in comparison, that he could never be as good as his brother. It was something his parents didn’t say out loud, but Jongdae was sure they thought so anyway. Because, what did he do? He had ended up in detention many more times than the average student. His grades in Divination were so-so, despite his mother telling him what an important subject that was. And worst of all he had ended up falling for his idiot of an arch-enemy (he could just imagine his brother calling him a poof if he found out that Jongdae had feelings for another boy). His life was like a bad joke.

When he entered the Christmas-decorated Great Hall together with his friends, Jongdae felt as though every single student were staring at him. He therefore settled for walking just behind Kris’s tall figure, hiding himself until he got to sit down at the breakfast table.

It was not as bad as he had thought, Jongdae realised when he had sat down. Sure, there were a bunch of people whispering and pointing at him, but not too many to make it feel like he was the centre of attention. After glaring at a pair of particularly obnoxious Gryffindor girls (of course Gryffindors would find it entertaining to put their noses in other people’s business), Jongdae decided to ignore all of the attention to the best of his ability. It was after all not his fault.

While he was spreading jam on a piece of toast, Jongdae saw something in the corner of his eye that caught his interest. Chanyeol had just entered the room and was making his way towards the Gryffindor table. Jongdae observed him as he took a seat, chatted with his friends, and put eggs on a plate. Soon enough Chanyeol looked up - he didn’t think of that - and met Jongdae’s gaze. Jongdae felt his face go scarlet as Chanyeol actually smiled at him and mouthed something that only could be the word “hello”. Biting his lip, Jongdae looked down, not acknowledging Chanyeol’s greeting (even though he was sure that Chanyeol had seen him notice it). He felt sweaty all of a sudden. This was so stupid. What was Chanyeol even trying to do?

 

Later that morning, Jongdae found himself at the Hogsmeade train station, following his friends there before saying goodbye. The train was departing in twenty minutes, and the platform was very crowded as most students hadn’t boarded the train yet. Because of the weather, parts of the platform were covered with a thin layer of ice, and Jongdae had nearly fallen over three times already.

“I’d like to talk to the person responsible for taking care of this station”, Jongdae muttered as he slipped for a fourth time, and he had fallen straight to the ground if it weren’t for Kris managing to catch him in the right second.

“Thanks”, Jongdae told him and Kris shrugged.

Suddenly, a voice was heard behind him.

“Kim?”

He and Hyuna turned around at the same time.

“What?” they both said, then exchanged tired glances. They were so used to this.

“Um, no, er, you!” the person, who seemed to be a rather small Gryffindor boy, said nervously and pointed to Jongdae.

“There’s someone who wants to talk to you, and, er, he’s under that tree!” the boy pointed to a tree a bit away from the platform. It was not the most ideal hiding spot, Jongdae realised, as he could clearly see who was standing there.

“Well, um, I guess I’ll go talk to him, then”, Jongdae shrugged. The kid smiled relievedly and dashed off, probably thankful to be done with his task.

“I think we’ll board the train to get good seats”, Hyuna said and nodded to Jongdae. “Okay?”

“Ah, yeah, sure. I’ll see you after the holidays, then?” Jongdae asked awkwardly. He was not good at parting.

“We’ll miss you”, Kris said, and sounded even more awkward than Jongdae, thankfully.

“Yeah…”

“Oh, Dae, don’t be too lonely! We’ll write you letters, right Kris? And it’s only for a couple of weeks. You’ll be fine, like always. Just don’t get too whiny in your replies to us!” Hyuna said and hugged him.

“I don’t whine”, said Jongdae in a whiny tone, and Hyuna laughed. Kris patted him on the shoulder once and then they left. Feeling a bit empty, Jongdae stood there for a while. Then, he realised he had to go to that tree.

 

Chanyeol had probably thought the tree would be an excellent spot, that standing in the shade of it would hide him from everyone else’s gazes. It had not worked, though, as it was winter and the branches were completely bare, making there less to no shadows beneath it. However, the students on the platform seemed to be too occupied with each other to even glance at the place.

“Ah, hi!” Chanyeol said with a wave when Jongdae arrived. Jongdae just nodded, feeling a bit uneasy.

“So, er, I’m going home now, as you might know…”

Yes, Jongdae knew that. Chanyeol would return to his beloved family, have lots of fun during the holidays, and probably receive plenty of Christmas presents, too. He had overheard Chanyeol speaking about his family before, so he knew.

Chanyeol’s mother worked as a Potions specialist at St Mungo’s Hospital, which was the reason they had moved to the UK in the first place, and his dad had a lovely café in Diagon Alley. He also had an older sister, but Jongdae didn’t know anything about her except that she and Chanyeol were pretty close (unlike Jongdae and his brother). They lived at some nice place in central London, too, close to both of Chanyeol’s parents’ workplaces. How ideal.

Chanyeol cleared his throat. Jongdae had still not said a word.

“I just, I wanted to say before I leave for the holidays that, um… I’m sorry. I’m so, so, so, so, so sorry. I’m sorry.”

It would be a lie to say that Jongdae wasn’t surprised; Chanyeol seemed very sincere. He had even felt the need to repeat his words, that’s how keen he was on apologising.

Right now Chanyeol was looking down, directing his gaze to his hands, rubbing them together in an attempt to keep them warm. His cheeks were a pretty shade of pink, so were his ears, and Jongdae was sure it was not solely because of the frosty weather. Chanyeol then turned his big eyes towards Jongdae, who almost physically felt his stomach jump.

It was too much to look at. Chanyeol’s round, nearly shining eyes, his blushing cheeks, his frost-bitten ears, the pink lips, his dark hair creating a big contrast to his skin and just… his gaze, conveying his emotions like nothing else. He looked like a goddamn painting, and Jongdae felt horrible for thinking so.

“I know you must be feeling absolutely awful, and I suppose just saying sorry isn’t enough for what I did, but… I am really sorry. Please, say something”, Chanyeol almost pleaded, his breath coming out as big puffs of smoke in the frosty air. Then, right at that moment a gust of wind swept Chanyeol’s hair out of his face, and Jongdae could swear the shine in Chanyeol’s eyes wasn’t just his imagination.

“Y-you’re so beautiful.”

Chanyeol’s eyes widened almost comically, his mouth slightly agape, yet he was still looking so-

. Jongdae had said that out loud. Alright, he should calm down, no need to panic.

“Huh?”

It was evident now that the blush on Chanyeol’s cheeks wasn’t only because of the cold. His face was far too red to blame that. Jongdae nervously his dry lips, he had to say something. Though, he would rather melt to the ground and freeze, become one with the snow, never have to face another person again. Especially not Chanyeol Park.

“I’m- I mean”, Jongdae was actually shaking, this was bad, “I mean, don’t, um. Just ignore what I said. I, er, I… accept your apology, because…” Jongdae sighed, trying to collect himself. This was the hard part, after all. But he was sure of what to say; something about what had happened in their first year had taught Jongdae to forgive others. Especially when they had done something they couldn’t actually help.

“…You don’t have to apologise. It was not your fault. You couldn’t have done anything to stop Peeves anyway, and… yeah. You’re just making a fool out of yourself, apologising like that.”

That was extremely difficult to say, but it felt kinda worth it. Because, for the first time in their conversation, Chanyeol smiled.

“You mean that?”

Obviously he did not care about Jongdae’s attempt to insult him. And he seemed a bit surprised, too, like he didn’t expect the person who couldn’t forgive him in their first year to be able to change, to finally have the guts to forgive him. To stop being such a coward and face the fact that he himself was also to blame.

Feeling a bit dazzled by the smile, Jongdae nodded, smiling hesitantly back. When Chanyeol spotted that, his grin got even wider.

“Wow. Thank you, Jongdae”, he said, smile still on his lips, his eyes almost twinkling. In spite of the sub-zero temperature, Jongdae positively melted.

“Oh, well, I guess I, um, have to leave”, Chanyeol then stuttered awkwardly, ruining Jongdae’s moment a bit, “but this was really nice to hear. I mean, as a last thing before I head home.”

Then, he took a step towards Jongdae, actually took his hand, squeezed it once, and then walked off towards the platform. Chanyeol turned around once on his walk, smiling slightly and waving goodbye to Jongdae, who felt too weak to move.

After a couple of minutes, Jongdae managed to start walking back to the castle. Thanks to his encounter with Chanyeol and his stupid, pretty face (and surprisingly warm hands), it seemed like he had forgotten everything that had happened before their moment together. Therefore he was very unprepared for the frozen state of the platform, and his somewhat shaky legs didn’t make things better as Jongdae slipped and fell on his nose almost instantly after setting foot on the station. This was so humiliating.

He had such a big problem.

 

Later, when Jongdae had nearly reached the castle, he started to think. With Chanyeol’s somewhat captivating presence gone he felt like his brain was a bit more clear, and he could therefore let it think of things more critically than before.

Why was Chanyeol so nice to him, all of a sudden? What were his intentions? Was this another trick to get Jongdae to trust him, before doing the most horrible prank in world history? But… Chanyeol had seemed very sincere… and if there was one thing Jongdae had learnt about Chanyeol, it was that he was really bad at covering his emotions. If he was happy, he looked happy. If he was spiteful, he looked spiteful. If he was full of regret, he… supposedly would look like he was full of regret. And he had really done that.

Still, Jongdae could not figure out why Chanyeol felt the need to apologise and get on his good side, if he didn’t have something in mind… Though, it would be unlike Chanyeol to think that way…or maybe, that’s only what Chanyeol would want him to believe…?

He was wrong, his head was not getting any clearer. Still feeling a bit exhausted, Jongdae headed for his common room, planning to go straight to bed. However, when he arrived he saw something that made him change his mind.

Kyungsoo was sitting in one of the armchairs, reading a thick book. If Kyungsoo was still here, that would mean he was staying for the holidays as well! The prospect of not having to spend the two weeks on his own made Jongdae a little excited.

“Hey, Kyungsoo!” he shouted, and the mentioned boy turned his gaze to Jongdae, looking surprised.

“… Kyungsoo?” he asked, referring to the fact that Jongdae had called him by his given name. Jongdae was a bit surprised by that too, he had really just said that without thinking. It felt alright to him though, because despite the fact that they didn’t usually talk to each other a lot, Jongdae had known Kyungsoo for several years. Also, Kyungsoo was one of the few people that knew about the accident involving love potion, Chocoballs, and Chanyeol. Calling him his last name felt a bit weird at this point.

“Yeah. It’d be great if you called me Jongdae, too. Or just Dae is alright.”

“Um, okay… Jongdae.”

“So you’re staying for the holidays, too?” Jongdae asked (intentionally ignoring the fact that Kyungsoo wouldn’t call him by a nickname like all his other friends did). Kyungsoo had never done that before. He had, just like most of the other students, gone home during the previous winter breaks, visiting his family.

Jongdae did not know a lot about Kyungsoo’s family except for the fact that he had been adopted by a pair of English Muggles when he was still a baby. It had been a bit of a talk when Kyungsoo first came to Hogwarts, because imagine adopting a small, seemingly normal child, who later turns out to be a wizard. Kyungsoo seemed pretty close with his parents though, so Jongdae was a little bit curious to why he wasn’t spending his holidays with them this year. However, he kept himself from asking about it since he didn’t want to pry.

“Obviously. I suppose you are as well?” Kyungsoo replied and Jongdae nodded.

“I’ve done that every winter. So it’s really nice to have you here. Someone my age. I don’t particularly like hanging out with Gryffindor second years”, he said with a smile. There were only ever a few people to stay, and it was usually a wide mix of people who did not know each other at all. Jongdae had never had the company of someone from his year, and if there was someone at least somewhat close to his age they were never from his house. Most of his holidays Jongdae therefore spent the majority of his time with the letters from his friends.

“I can understand that. It’s nice to have you here, too”, Kyungsoo uttered with a small smile, and Jongdae grinned happily.

“But you are aware of that you have a nosebleed, right?” Kyungsoo then added, eyeing Jongdae’s face.

“Er, no?!” Jongdae immediately lifted his hand to touch the area below his nose, expecting his fingertips to be covered in blood, but no such thing happened. Feeling puzzled, he turned his gaze towards his housemate. Was this Kyungsoo’s type of humour?

“It seems to have dried”, Kyungsoo explained, then stifled a laugh.

“…What?”

“It’s just”, Kyungsoo seemed to try his hardest not to start laughing, “you must have been walking around like that, w-with blood all over your nose area, for a r-really long time for it to actually dry… In front of other people, too…”

Jongdae would have felt rather embarrassed if it weren’t for the fact that he was too fascinated with Kyungsoo’s outburst to care. He had never seen Kyungsoo laugh like this before. Not that they were particularly close, but still…

Kyungsoo glanced at him a second time before bursting out in uncontrollable chuckles, quickly covering his heart-shaped mouth when he saw that Jongdae was watching him.

“Man, you’re weird. Anyway, I slipped on ice and fell on my face before, it must be from that. I’ll go wash it off”, Jongdae said with a shrug, without even attempting to fight the smile off of his face.

 

The first days of the break went by unusually fast, and Jongdae found himself enjoying spending time together with Kyungsoo. The younger boy proved to be very easy to talk to once he’d gotten to know him. They even shared their interest for Potions. Since Kyungsoo was such a prodigy when it came to the subject, he could teach Jongdae lots of things he had never read in any of his textbooks, and Jongdae could in return tell Kyungsoo about what was awaiting him in his sixth year.

“He let you make Amortentia?”

Kyungsoo seemed a bit surprised, his wide eyes shining in the light of the fireplace they were sitting in front of. Their common room felt very big, since all the other Slytherin students had gone home. Jongdae quite enjoyed the serenity, despite the fact that he usually liked the castle the most when it was busy, when something new would happen every day.

“Er, yeah, people had been asking him for a really long time, and it is an advanced level potion after all, so…” Jongdae explained, feeling a little uncomfortable with the direction of their conversation, he did not want to think about that lesson.

“Did he really expect you to succeed? I mean, no offence, but it is a very difficult potion to make, and… did you manage?”

Jongdae sighed.

“…No. But I wasn’t very attentive that lesson, and I wasn’t feeling very well, I should’ve just stayed in bed that day… I didn’t try my best, and… well… Chanyeol was the only one able to make it.”

“Park? I didn’t know he was good at potions. I mean, he has to be really great if he managed to actually create an Amortentia”, Kyungsoo looked very impressed, and slightly shocked. Jongdae bit his lower lip before speaking again.

“Yeah… he’s amazing. I mean, when it comes to potion making he’s definitely the best in our year. And it’s such a pity, because he doesn’t even like the subject… Like, he never bothers to study, he just naturally manages to make perfect potions. I think his mum’s a potion expert, or something like that, so I guess he’s taking after her…” Jongdae sighed again, life was so unfair sometimes.

“Hey, wait, I think I’ve heard of his mother now that I think of it… Park from St Mungo’s Hospital in London? She’s come up with plenty of antidotes to some of the newer potions, such as that one motion sickness potion that was popular a few years ago… She’s pretty remarkable when it comes to potion making, you know”, Kyungsoo told Jongdae, who supposed that if Kyungsoo said it, it must be true.

“Guess she must be proud of Chanyeol, then”, Jongdae said somewhat bitterly, gazing into the fireplace in front of him. Kyungsoo leaned forward in his armchair.

“Hope you don’t mind if I ask, but… Since when do you call Park by his first name? Is it that you’re closer after that… accident happened? And… I’ve heard the rumours, you know. How come people are suddenly spreading that kind of rumours about you?”

Oh, great. Jongdae threw a glance at Kyungsoo, he looked genuinely interested. And Jongdae had thought he was indifferent when it came to these things.

“I, er, I don’t really know”, Jongdae started, and it was true, he did not actually know why he was suddenly calling Chanyeol his given name. He had not even noticed his switch. “He did actually ask me to call him that during, you know, the effects of the love potion, but… I suppose it just grew on me since then. It feels more natural, calling him Chanyeol. I suppose.”

Kyungsoo nodded.

“And about the-”

“Okay, y-yeah, right. Well. There is a reason to those rumours.”

Jongdae did not know how he managed to do it, but he actually told Kyungsoo about everything that had happened the last weeks; everything from when he and Chanyeol were about to kiss and the love potion had stopped working, to what had happened during the potions lesson, Chanyeol confronting him and the accident with Peeves, and finally Chanyeol’s conversation with him before then train left, telling Jongdae he was sorry. Kyungsoo listened attentively, now and then chiming in with a “Really?” or an “Oh, no”.

When Jongdae had finished speaking Kyungsoo was silent for a minute or so. Jongdae could understand, this entire mess was a big thing to take in, he probably needed some time to process everything.

It had been a bit embarrassing to tell Kyungsoo all of this, but he had wanted to know. Besides, there was something about Kyungsoo that made him easy to talk to when it came to things like this, Jongdae didn’t know what, but it was there. He seemed to understand him. And it felt like Jongdae could trust him.

After a while, Kyungsoo spoke up again.

“So… you do like him, then.”

It was not really a question, more like a statement. Facts. Jongdae couldn’t help it, but his cheeks did heat up when Kyungsoo said it like that. Like it was obvious.

“Um… Yeah. I mean, he did have some good proof that I liked him. And… during Potions, the Amortentia… It smelled like him. It was kind of terrifying.”

Jongdae then sighed.

“It’s just… I don’t know how it happened, but I am so… in love with him, and I’ve probably been that for a really long time, I just didn’t realise it until that prank went wrong, and Chanyeol started acting like he had feelings for me, and I actually… kinda liked it…” he trailed off. Then, Jongdae’s stomach flipped when he realised what choice of words he had used to describe his feelings for Chanyeol. In love. It was too late to take it back now, though. And… Jongdae supposed it was true, he just hadn’t let himself admit it. He was in love with Chanyeol.

He almost expected Kyungsoo to grimace at him, but the latter just nodded.

“I suppose… those kinds of feelings can be pretty difficult.”

Jongdae put his face in his hands.

“Tell me about it”, he mumbled through his fingers, it being difficult was an understatement.

“You know what I think?”

“What?” Jongdae asked, face still resting in his palms.

“I think Park is a bit of an idiot.”

Jongdae removed his hands to look at Kyungsoo.

“Huh?”

“I guess he meant well, but I think his decision to confront you after getting to know about your feelings was pretty stupid. I mean, what did he expect would happen? Didn’t he even think of the fact that you most likely would panic if you heard that he knew? That you would think it was his revenge, or something? He was just gonna end up hurting your feelings, yet he still did it. I think that’s just dumb.”

Jongdae could agree with what Kyungsoo said, sure. It had been really horrifying, standing there when Chanyeol asked him about his feelings. But at the same time, he couldn’t really blame Chanyeol. He just hadn’t thought things through, it did not seem like he meant any harm.

“I know, but, um… Chanyeol is a bit, er… he doesn’t think before acting, sometimes. That’s one of his weak points. He just does what he feels is right, without even considering the possible outcomes first. I still don’t really know why he decided to ask me about that, but… I don’t think he meant for it to end up like it did. He told me he was sorry, after all…”

“I know. I still think what he did was dumb.”

Jongdae nodded slowly, agreeing.

“Well, yeah. It was. I want to hate him, I know I should hate him, but… I can’t seem to do it.”

Actually, now when he was able to think about it in detail, Jongdae realised that he never had been able to hate Chanyeol. It was just something he said he did, but… it was more like his subconscious created that as a cover for his real feelings.

“Why should you hate him? I mean, I can see why you’d dislike him, but hating him…?”

Kyungsoo’s question surprised Jongdae. He had not thought of it that way.

“Um, he… it’s just… our relationship. We’ve been enemies since our first year… And we’ve continued to try to outdo each other’s pranks and everything… I mean, we are, or were, pretty much rivals, so therefore I’m supposed to hate him, right?” Jongdae knew how stupid that sounded. And it fault that they had that relationship in the first place, all because he couldn’t seem to forgive Chanyeol for some silly accident when they were eleven. There was no need for him to hate Chanyeol, really. Chanyeol had even said himself that he didn’t hate Jongdae (of course, that did not mean that he felt the opposite, sadly).

“Why do you want to know, anyway?” Jongdae asked instead of digging further on that subject. It had actually surprised him to see how genuinely interested Kyungsoo seemed to be. Especially as he’d always seen Kyungsoo as someone who stayed out of other people’s business.

“I’m not interested in this, I was just a bit curious, that’s all”, Kyungsoo said, looking away. Jongdae shrugged.

“You seemed pretty interested, though. And you know I trust you not to tell anyone about any of the things I said?”

“Of course I won’t tell anyone! And, well, I’m… Okay, I find your conflict a tiny bit interesting. I can’t help it, but I kinda like drama”, Kyungsoo admitted, cheeks a little pink. Jongdae smiled slightly, Kyungsoo sometimes was not at all how he had seemed to be. Fascinating.

 

The few days before Christmas went by fast, and it was Christmas Eve sooner than Jongdae had thought. For the first time in what felt like forever, Jongdae was actually a bit excited as he went to bed that night. After all, Christmas was usually a rather lonely time of the year for him, the only source of excitement being the one present his family would send him (Jongdae and his friends did not exchange Christmas gifts; they did however give each other small presents during birthdays). This year he was spending the holidays together with Kyungsoo, though. That alone was enough to make him look forward to the next morning.

Jongdae usually had somewhat strange, nonsensical dreams, but never too embarrassing. That night, however, he had a dream involving him and Chanyeol meeting in the Astronomy tower at night, and Chanyeol was for some reason only half-dressed, and a lot more… affectionate than he normally was. Jongdae felt immensely hot, sweaty even, when he woke up on Christmas Day, despite the fact that his dorm was rather cold. For the first time, he had to lie to the dream diary he had in homework for Divination, and write that he hadn’t dreamt anything that night. It would be best that way.

“Jongdae, come on! You have presents waiting for you!” Kyungsoo’s voice came from the common room, and Jongdae realised that it was probably what had woken him up before.

“I’m coming- Wait, you mean there’s more than one present?!” Jongdae uttered, referring to the fact that Kyungsoo had said the word present in plural. That was strange, since his family always sent him one present from all three of them. Not bothering to change from his sweaty pyjamas, Jongdae headed for the common room, feeling excited.

Kyungsoo was already in the process of opening his presents, only turning around when Jongdae entered, to point at a second pile of gifts. It was rather small, sure, but still larger than it usually was. There were two rectangularly shaped presents, a small plastic bag, and two letters, presumably from Hyuna and Kris.

Saving the letters from his friends for last, Jongdae started unwrapping one of the two box-shaped gifts, the one he was sure was from his family (he had recognised the wrapping paper). It contained a new set of a quill and ink, just like he needed, and a large bag of Christmas themed sweets. There was also a letter from his family, and Jongdae put it in the small pile of letters to read later.

Feeling content with his first gift, Jongdae started to unwrap the second. This one had been neatly wrapped with a large, red ribbon on top, and it didn’t exactly look like it was from his parents. Jongdae therefore felt very curious as he ripped open the shiny wrapping paper.

It turned out to be a thick book with the title A Potion Master’s Secrets: Everything You Need To Know About the Arts of Potion Making. Skimming through the text on the back of the book, Jongdae immediately thought it seemed promising. Kyungsoo, who had just unwrapped a notebook and a sweater vest, glanced at him from the side and nodded approvingly.

“I have that book at home, it’s probably one of the best books you can find on that subject. Incredibly informative”, he said and Jongdae decided he rather liked this present.

“That’s great! I don’t really know who sent me it, though, it can’t be my family…”

Opening the book on its first page, Jongdae spotted an envelope with his name written on it resting inside the covers. Oh, of course, that had to be from the person who gave him the book. Jongdae quickly opened the envelope, eager to see who the sender was. Upon discovering it, though, he was sure his heart made a leap all the way down to his stomach, only to turn around and head straight for his throat.

“There… There’s a letter here”, he explained weakly to Kyungsoo, who was giving him a curious look.

“And…?”

“… Chanyeol”, Jongdae simply said, which was all he needed to convey his message. Kyungsoo’s eyes noticeably widened.

Taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm his heart down, Jongdae started reading the letter to himself.

Jongdae!!!

Merry Christmas! Hope you’re having a nice holiday at Hogwarts.

I was very happy about that conversation we had before I left, it made me so relieved that you’re accepting my apology! I still feel pretty bad, though. No matter how you look at it, it was my fault. If I hadn’t confronted you just like that, maybe things wouldn’t have turned out like they did. I feel like I really sabotaged something between us, and I hope you’re not too mad at me… In an attempt to make things better, I tried to convince most of my housemates during the party the evening before the break that the rumours were just something Peeves had come up with to spite us, because he was mad about some prank we’d done. Many of them seemed to believe me! Anyway, when people are coming back after the holidays everyone will have forgotten about all of this, so you don’t have to worry. It’ll be alright (but then again I am a very optimistic person!! Haha).

As you’ve hopefully noticed by now, this is my Christmas present for you! In my family we usually give each other money, but I thought that was a bit boring so I asked my mum (who works with potions) if there’s a book she could recommend, and she told me this one was the best! I know you’re interested in potions so I hope you’ll like it. I also sent you some Christmas sponge cake that my dad made. Don’t worry, it’s not poisoned or anything!!! It’s perfectly safe to eat and absolutely delicious, too.

This letter is already getting a bit long so I guess I should stop writing and shut my big mouth (or whatever it is that you usually say). I’m having a nice time at home, but I am also looking forward to seeing you after the holidays!

찬열

PS: I forgot to say it the other day, but I really appreciate the compliment! I already knew I’m both handsome and cute, but I had no idea I’m considered beautiful as well!! (:

“That little, no… big ”, Jongdae muttered to himself. Why did Chanyeol had to mention Jongdae’s embarrassing slip of the tongue in his letter? But he supposed Chanyeol jokingly replying to it in a letter was a lot better than the other possible outcomes. It at least had to mean Chanyeol was okay with the fact that Jongdae thought he was, um, visually pleasing. When Jongdae thought about it, this was so much better than the risk of Chanyeol finding him disgusting.

Jongdae sat there for a while, reading through the letter a couple of times. He couldn’t get over how cute Chanyeol sounded, with the way he wrote and expressed himself. And he really appreciated Chanyeol’s efforts to stop his housemates from putting their noses in their business. And he liked how keen Chanyeol was to convince him everything would be alright. And his sweet way of telling Jongdae he looked forward to seeing him after the break… And the fact that he had actually given Jongdae a present, even going through the effort to find a good book for him… And…

Wow. Jongdae sure was into him… this was just great. He was glad no one could read his thoughts at the moment.

Finally tearing his gaze away from the letter, Jongdae noticed that Kyungsoo was watching him, an impatient look on his face.

“Oh, yeah… You probably want to know more, huh… Well, Chanyeol gave me this book. And a cake, too, and I guess that’s the one”, he pointed to the plastic bag he had yet to open, “and… Eh, just read the letter yourself if you want to.”

Jongdae handed Kyungsoo the letter, and the younger immediately started reading. When he was finished, he wore a somewhat sceptical expression.

“I’m guessing the word in Korean is his name?” he asked, and Jongdae nodded. Of course, having been adopted as a tiny baby by English parents, Kyungsoo probably didn’t know any Korean at all. Jongdae’s own Korean skills weren’t that great either. As his parents had moved to the UK long before he was born, and planned to live there for the rest of their lives, they had decided to bring their children up speaking English instead. They would solely speak Korean when they were by themselves, sometimes. Jongdae therefore only knew pretty basic words and phrases, that he used the few times he met some distant relative. His understanding of the language was alright, if the person talking only said really basic things, and he could also read and write in hangul. But that was about it, really.

Kyungsoo gave Jongdae the letter back, his face still looking kind of sceptical, which Jongdae didn’t notice.

“Isn’t he sweet? I have no idea what his intentions are, but whatever his plan is it worked”, Jongdae sighed blissfully, eyeing the letter again. Kyungsoo shook his head.

“Don’t you think this is really strange? Why would he send you a present, does he expect something in return?”

“Oh, yeah! I have to buy something for him, too!”

“No, I mean, that’s not what I meant!” Kyungsoo said with a sigh. “Look, Jongdae, isn’t this a bit suspicious? I mean, he must have some plan in mind, trying to up to you like this… I can understand if he acts a little nice to you after what happened because he feels bad, and I can understand why he apologised to you the other day, but… this feels like he went too far. Something’s not right.”

Jongdae glanced at the letter in his hands, before putting it away. He supposed Kyungsoo had a point. He had just been too dazzled by Chanyeol’s letter and gift to think of it that way.

“You may be right”, Jongdae sighed, “Apologising and toning down the spitefulness is one thing, but buying an expensive book as a Christmas present is completely different. I just… I don’t know why he’s being so overly nice all of a sudden. Okay if he feels bad, but… I mean, if I found out that someone I dislike was fancying me I would just try to avoid that person as much as possible.”

Kyungsoo nodded, and Jongdae continued.

“I suppose he might be planning to make me like and trust him before he does like, the ultimate prank or something. But on the other hand, that would be a very thoroughly planned prank, and that’s so unlike Chanyeol, he’s never put much thought and planning into his pranks. That’s more my thing. And it just feels like actually spending his money on a present is too much dedication to the prank… But… I did spend a lot of money on the love potion when I pranked him a couple of weeks ago, and he’s probably got more money than me, so it’s not impossible…”

“Yeah, I still think you should be wary. He might be up to something, who knows”, Kyungsoo chimed in.

“But the cake… do you think I should taste it? He said he hadn’t done anything to it, but…” Jongdae reached for the bag, opening it slowly as if it contained a bomb. It obviously didn’t, instead there was a plastic box with a big slice of sponge cake inside, prettily decorated with green and red frosting.

“I don’t know”, Kyungsoo said with a shrug, moving closer to get a look of the cake.

“It doesn’t smell weird”, Jongdae added after opening the lid.

“You know what I think? We should ask our Potions professor to check if it’s been spiked with anything. You can tell him the person who sent you it was anonymous, and that you want to be sure it hasn’t been poisoned before eating it.”

“That sounds like a good idea”, Jongdae agreed, closing the box and putting it away. “Hey… what’s that you got there?”

He pointed to a big colourful box Kyungsoo had just opened. It seemed to contain a lot of different, equally colourful items.

“Oh, that… My parents like to travel and it’s their 20th anniversary since they started dating or something, so they went on a trip together to southern Spain to celebrate. That’s why I’m here. Anyway, they sent me lots of souvenirs as a Christmas present.”

“Ah, Spain? Tell you parents Feliz Navidad, then”, Jongdae said, because that was the only phrase he knew in Spanish. “Oh! Are these sweets?!”

He held up a huge bag containing lots of things in various shapes, almost all of them covered in patterned wrappers.

“Yes, I think so. We can share if you want, I won’t be able to eat all that by myself anyway”, Kyungsoo said with a small smile.

“Wow, you mean that? Thank you so much! You can have some of Chanyeol’s cake if it turns out to be alright”, Jongdae said, smiling back at Kyungsoo. Then, he glanced at Kyungsoo’s gifts again.

“Hey, what are these, some kind of instrument?”

“Oh, those are castanets. I think you’re supposed to play them like this…”

 

Jongdae and Kyungsoo spent the rest of the morning exploring their presents, it wasn’t until noon that they dressed up and went outside. There had been another snowstorm overnight, and a fresh layer of powder-like snow was now situated on top of the older piles of snow that someone had attempted to shovel away from the grounds.

They had initially been planning to simply take a walk outside, but when Jongdae attacked Kyungsoo from behind by shoving a handful of snow down the back of his robes it quickly escalated into a snowball fight. To Jongdae’s surprise, Kyungsoo turned out to be an excellent fighter, avoiding almost all of Jongdae’s snowballs but at the same time bombarding Jongdae with snowballs of his own. He was also unexpectedly strong, wrestling down Jongdae in a pile of snow and holding him down until Jongdae had to beg for mercy.

Both their hair and clothes were covered in snow when they went back inside, so they switched into warmer and dryer outfits before heading for the Great Hall for lunch and a cup of hot chocolate.

 

The Christmas dinner that evening was just as spectacular as always. Because of there being significantly less students, there was only one table in the Great Hall, but it was covered with plates of brussels sprouts, bowls of roast potatoes, boats of gravy and cranberry sauce and of course big, silver platters with turkey. Along the table lay several wizard crackers, and when Jongdae pulled one together with Kyungsoo it exploded with a loud bang, surrounding them with a cloud of blue smoke. Kyungsoo, who got the larger end of the cracker, received a ridiculously fluffy fur hat that he kept on throughout the rest of the evening.

 

When they returned to their common room later that evening, Jongdae’s stomach aching from eating too much pudding, he decided to write back to Chanyeol. Eager to use his new quill, Jongdae sat down at a table and started to write.

When he was done, Jongdae realised it sounded a bit harsh and ungrateful, so he started all over again. This time the letter made it seem like he was far too happy with the present, without having any suspicions whatsoever. Therefore, Jongdae re-wrote the letter another time.

After using up too much parchment that just ended up in the garbage anyway, Jongdae was finally done with his letter, reading it through a second time to check for mistakes.

Hello Chanyeol,

Merry Christmas to you as well. I’m having a nice time. I doubt you have as much snow in London as we have over here.

Thank you very much for the book (and the cake!). I still don’t know what your intentions are, but the gifts are greatly appreciated. I’m not sending you anything in return, but I might give you something when you come back (something else for you to look forward to).

I’ll see you after the break,

Jongdae

PS: I told you to ignore what I said that time.

It sounded a bit too formal, maybe even a little hostile, but Jongdae wanted to make sure Chanyeol knew he was still a bit suspicious about his actions. That he couldn’t just trick Jongdae with a present and a cute letter. Although, Jongdae wished Chanyeol was sincere, that he actually wanted them to be on good terms. To treat each other nicely.

The letter was not at all like the way Jongdae usually wrote his letters to friends. Well, Chanyeol was not exactly a friend. No longer an enemy, either. Jongdae couldn’t even categorise him anymore, and it bothered him a little.

 

The following days were nice and relaxing. Jongdae sent away the letter to Chanyeol, and he and Kyungsoo shared Chanyeol’s cake after their professor had declared it was harmless. It turned out to be really delicious, even better than the pudding they’d had on Christmas Day. They also shared Kyungsoo’s Spanish sweets, and the fact that their teeth managed to stay healthy was absolutely incredible, considering how much sugary stuff they both ate during the break.

Jongdae found himself wondering sometimes if Chanyeol had received his letter, for he hadn’t sent him an answer; Jongdae’s owl had re its own. Then again, he did not really know what Chanyeol could write as a reply to his letter more than “Okay”.

He felt more and more grateful for the presents as the days went by, the cake had after all been really tasty, and the book also turned out to be as good as Kyungsoo had told him. Jongdae spent a lot of time reading it, and he had already learnt too many new things to be able to count them all. He was going to kick some serious arse in Potions once the second term started.

A subject he didn’t feel as good about was Divination, when he had to lie more than once to his dream assignment because those stupid dreams about Chanyeol kept appearing. It was so embarrassing. Jongdae was thankful that he had the entire dorm to himself (as he normally shared it with the other sixth year boys of his house), especially when one dream turned out to be particularly steamy. Any lewd noises he might’ve made were best left unheard by others (most importantly if said noises involved the of Chanyeol’s name like an absolute piece of filth - Jongdae had never felt more ashamed of himself).

 

Eventually, the break came to an end and school started. Even though he had enjoyed spending the holidays in a relaxed manner, Jongdae found himself looking forward to the corridors being packed with people rushing to get to their classes, the four tables in the Great Hall full of noisy students, and the atmosphere their common room could only have when there were excited pupils of all ages in every corner, using the room as their getaway from all school-related troubles. He also couldn’t wait to meet his friends again.

However, most of all Jongdae was excited about seeing Chanyeol, interact with him for the first time in about two weeks (not counting the letter exchange). He had actually bought Chanyeol something in return for the Christmas presents when they had visited Hogsmeade during the break. Jongdae had to give Chanyeol it somehow, preferably somewhere they wouldn’t be seen. He had to think something up.

 

Jongdae barely talked to Chanyeol at all during the first week of school. It was alright, he supposed, he just needed to collect himself before doing it. Every time he got the chance to talk to him, Jongdae felt far too nervous to take it. He didn’t know what to say, his mind went blank, his hands started sweating. It was ridiculous.

On the other hand, Chanyeol didn’t seek him out to talk either. Jongdae was happy about that, Chanyeol seemed to respect his need of space. Most of the time both of them were in the company of their friends anyway, and if Jongdae was going to talk to Chanyeol he wanted them to be on their own.

Because of those circumstances, the only interaction they had was when Chanyeol would smile slightly at Jongdae when their eyes met, and when Jongdae had gone to the train station to pick up his friends and Chanyeol had passed him by, whispering a “hi, Jongdae” into his ear (which managed to send shivers down Jongdae’s spine).

Their classes of the first week were alright, Jongdae already felt like he was doing better than ever at Potions. Chanyeol left him alone during the lessons they had together, which made Jongdae able to focus more. Also, it seemed like Chanyeol had been right in his letter, about everyone forgetting about the rumours after the holidays, as people had stopped pointing and whispering about him.

Still, when the weekend came Jongdae felt a bit exhausted. He supposed he had really grown accustomed to the calm and relaxing days of the break.

 

That Saturday, the first Quidditch game of the year (but second to last game of the season) was going to be held, and it was a really important match. The teams were Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, and if Gryffindor won the game they would secure the first place of the Cup. If they didn’t, however, things were pretty open. If they lost and Slytherin won the last game against Hufflepuff, the first place would go to Slytherin. They had won last year, and the Slytherins wanted to keep the Cup this year as well.

Therefore Kris, and many more of Jongdae’s housemates were both excited and anxious about this game. Jongdae was not really into Quidditch, but he could understand how they felt. Frustrated over the fact that the fate of the Quidditch Cup was out of their control. Everything was after all depending on if Gryffindor won or lost the match.

Almost all of Jongdae’s friends and housemates were on their way to watch the game, and for some reason Jongdae decided to tag along for once. It was an unusual decision, especially since Kyungsoo was staying and Jongdae in all honesty would much rather keep him company than go watch some people on broomsticks chasing balls around, but here he was. He supposed it might have something to do with the fact that Chanyeol played on the Gryffindor team.

Because of that, Jongdae soon found himself standing in the middle of a large bunch of loud Slytherins, who didn’t exactly root for Ravenclaw, more rooting for the loss of Gryffindor. The weather was still freezing cold; it had not snowed for the whole week but the temperature was below zero, making watching Quidditch outside a very cold experience.

At first Jongdae really regretted it, what was he even doing there, he didn’t care for Quidditch, but then the players marched out on the field, looking almost impressive; the Ravenclaws in blue and bronze coloured robes, and the Gryffindors in red and gold. Jongdae could clearly spot Chanyeol’s tall figure amongst the Gryffindor players, and somehow that made him calm down a little. Maybe this match was worth watching, after all.

It was rather exciting, Jongdae had to admit. Sure, sometimes it was a little hard to keep up with who was who and what was happening when all he could see were red and blue shapes zooming around in the air, but the commentator was a great help. It was also relatively easy to spot Chanyeol, Jongdae could recognise his tall, lean body and thick, dark hair even when he was far away. Chanyeol was not really their best player, he was probably the worst out of Gryffindor’s three Chasers; but he was still alright, after all he had made the team, and it was evident how much he enjoyed playing Quidditch.

Chanyeol scored three times during the match, and even though Jongdae was surrounded by his housemates in dissatisfaction, he couldn’t help but feel warm on the inside when he saw Chanyeol smiling happily and throwing his hands in the air.

The Ravenclaw team fought bravely, but it was made clear that they were no match for the confident Gryffindor players. Their Seeker was especially great, catching the Snitch before the Ravenclaw Seeker had even spotted it. At first Jongdae felt a bit disappointed that they had won, after all he was a Slytherin and had enough house pride to want to win the Quidditch Cup, even though he wasn’t too into the sport.

That changed, however, when Chanyeol pretty much exploded with happiness on the field, zooming by the audience with a huge, dazzling smile on his face. Before heading down to the ground to join his celebrating teammates, Chanyeol slowed down in front of where Jongdae was sitting, and gave him a grin and a small wave. Jongdae automatically smiled back, it was hard not to do so when Chanyeol’s smile was so contagious. His housemates groaned irritatedly at the action, though, thinking it was something Chanyeol did to provoke them. Jongdae didn’t mind that, because in spite of the chilly weather there was a warmness spreading through his entire body as though he had just downed a large cup of hot tea.

 

The atmosphere in the Slytherin common room after the game was not too cosy. Most of the students were still upset about the outcome of the game, and the room was unusually quiet; the majority of the noises were bitter sighs uttered by several people.

When the evening came, both Hyuna and Kris went to their dorms early, still in pretty bad moods. Jongdae did not feel very tired, so he didn’t want to go to bed already, but on the other hand the sulky atmosphere in the common room was almost suffocating. He couldn’t go to the library, since it was closed at this hour, and wandering the grounds was completely out of the question. It was really bothersome, to be trapped in the common room with nothing fun to do at all. Additionally, Jongdae’s brain decided to annoy him some more by always drifting off to thoughts about Chanyeol, even when Jongdae tried to think of something else. It was hopeless. Damn Chanyeol.

Oh. Wait. Jongdae actually knew what to do. Actually, there was nothing else he wanted to do more at that moment. He fetched a bag at his dorm, then spurted through the common room, heading for the exit. Kyungsoo, who was sitting in an armchair and reading, lifted his gaze to give him a curious look.

“I’m just going to give Chanyeol his gift”, Jongdae explained silently, and Kyungsoo looked somewhat surprised.

“Isn’t he in his common room celebrating, though? How will you get in there?”

“It’ll work out”, Jongdae stated, sure of himself. He had just started feeling brave enough to finally do this, so he was not going to back out.

“Oh, okay… Good luck, then”, Kyungsoo said, shrugging, then returning his gaze to his book.

“Thanks”, Jongdae whispered back, before leaving the common room.

 

Well outside, Jongdae realised he had to make his way to the Gryffindor common room silently, as they were not supposed to be walking the corridors at this hour. It was very dark, which wasn’t a surprise since he was still in the dungeons, so Jongdae took out his wand.

“Lumos.”

With his wand lighting the path for him, Jongdae started his journey all the way to the seventh floor, where the entrance to the Gryffindor Tower was situated.

 

The corridors on the higher floors were not as dark, Jongdae noticed, as they were lined with still aflame torches. He could therefore put away his wand.

In spite of the corridor being illuminated, the Fat Lady in the portrait at the entrance of the Gryffindor common room was asleep. It did not matter much to him, Jongdae realised, since he didn’t know the password anyway. And even if he did know it, Jongdae wouldn’t use it, since he did not feel like entering the common room alone and have every single Gryffindor staring at him like he had committed a serious crime or something.

So, Jongdae settled for sitting outside, waiting patiently. He could admit that he hadn’t thought this through, he had just received some Chanyeol-esque surge of impulsiveness, feeling braver than ever before. But someone was bound to exit the common room sometime and find him there.

 

After sitting there for about half an hour, Jongdae started feeling tired, almost sleepy. Yet, he was not returning to his own common room; he was not going to give up after only thirty minutes. Though, the thought of his own, cosy bed was rather appealing… and the corridor was pretty cold, too…

 

Jongdae didn’t know how long it had been when something finally happened. He had actually fallen asleep for a short while, but only in a state of light sleep; it was therefore easy for him to wake up when the portrait opened itself, revealing a boy and a girl who looked like fifth years, both of them rosy-cheeked and giggly. Jongdae heard the sound of music being played and people talking and laughing loudly emerging from the common room, meaning that the Gryffindors were still up celebrating their Quidditch Cup win.

The couple were speaking very vividly with each other, but stopped abruptly when they noticed Jongdae waiting outside.

“Oh. Um, are you a Prefect or something? Then, we’re sorry, we were just going to have a bit of fresh air”, the girl said, and the boy nodded multiple times.

“No, it’s nothing like that”, Jongdae replied with a shrug, “I’m not a Prefect. I was just… er, is Chanyeol Park in there? Could you get him for me?”

The two Gryffindors glanced at each other and nodded, vanishing into the common room again.

Jongdae spent the seconds he had by himself with trying to put his hair in place, then fiddling nervously with the sleeves of his cloak. It was now he had his chance, it was now it happened. Attempting to swallow down the big lump that had appeared in his throat, Jongdae stood there for a small while, feeling his previous feelings of courage being washed away like a bottle dropped in the sea.

Finally, Chanyeol emerged from the common room, also looking somewhat rosy-cheeked, his fluffy hair a bit messy. He was wearing a red and gold sweater with the Gryffindor emblem, and a golden party hat was stuck on his head with the help of a string placed under his chin. He still looked absolutely dazzling, though, to Jongdae’s chagrin; it would make this so much harder.

“Jongdae!” he exclaimed happily when he had left the portrait hole, “I couldn’t help but hope it was you.”

So, Chanyeol had hoped Jongdae was the one waiting for him… Oh, this was just great, Jongdae was feeling like melting to the ground even before he had the chance to say something.

“Um, yeah. I… I wanted to, um.”

Jongdae stopped, took a deep breath, and continued.

“Congratulations on winning. The Quidditch Cup, I mean. You were… great.”

Chanyeol smiled so wide Jongdae almost felt the urge to count his teeth, just to prove how ridiculously wide his smile was.

“Thank you! I saw you watching the game, it really surprised me, you’re not too into Quidditch, right? Why did you…?”

“Oh, um, I just felt like watching for once. It’s no big deal. Hey, um… I know I thanked you in the letter, but still, thank you again for the book and all… It’s really good. I like it a lot.” Jongdae looked down at the ground, at his feet, at Chanyeol’s feet, downwards, just so he wouldn’t look Chanyeol in the eyes. It was kind of difficult, being honest like this.

“That’s so nice! My mum said it was the best book she knew on Potions, so…”

“Yeah. Anyway, I said I had a gift for you, and… here”, Jongdae handed Chanyeol the bag he had brought, trying to ignore the feeling he got when their fingers touched, the sudden imagination of those fingers touching him anywhere and everywhere else.

“Thank you! Ah, what’s this? Ooh!!”

Jongdae couldn’t keep himself from smiling, Chanyeol’s vivid way of speaking and excited reaction reminded him of a small child receiving their favourite toy for Christmas. Utterly adorable.

“Yes, they’re Chocoballs”, Jongdae said, he had bought a big box of ten Chocoballs, “and they’re not spiked with anything, I promise. I haven’t even opened the box they came in.”

“I believe you”, Chanyeol said with a big grin, looking up from the bag and into Jongdae’s eyes. Jongdae suddenly felt out of breath. He was hopeless.

Hopelessly in love. How embarrassing.

Jongdae tried to direct his gaze somewhere else, but instead of focusing on the wall or something equally harmless it decided to land on Chanyeol’s lips. Those pink, perfectly round and a bit plumpish lips. Jongdae could physically feel his cheeks go red with how hot they suddenly started to feel, and it became even worse when Chanyeol very briefly opened his mouth slightly to his lower lip; Jongdae was sure his entire face had changed colour at this point. It was inevitable, with all the sudden images that appeared in his head, all having to do with Chanyeol’s lips in one way or another. He felt so humiliated, was this something Chanyeol had planned, was it his way of making fun of Jongdae’s feelings?

Because, why was he acting so nice with Jongdae? What did he even have to gain from it, except Jongdae falling even deeper for him? (and Jongdae was sure that was something Chanyeol wouldn’t want, so the whole thing felt really strange).

But what could he really do about it? Nothing came to mind. Jongdae supposed he could play along, enjoy Chanyeol’s kindness while it lasted. At least to see where this was going.

“So…” Chanyeol then started, after there only having been silence between them for a time long enough to make it awkward.

“Yeah.”

Jongdae had no idea what he just agreed with, but he supposed he had to at least say something.

“Y'know, Jongdae… I was wondering…” Chanyeol started, only to trail off again. Jongdae eyed him.

“What?”

“Um, eh. Nothing important.”

Silence ensued again, and Jongdae sighed.

“What is it, Chanyeol?”

“Well, I’m…” Chanyeol attempted again, then stopped only to look at Jongdae like he had just started growing a second nose on his face. “… You called me Chanyeol?!”

“Oh. Er, yes, I did”, Jongdae replied sheepishly. He hadn’t even noticed it. “Are you okay with it? Should I not?”

“No, no, keep doing it! It’s just… so different. I kinda like it. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you referring to me as my first name only.”

Chanyeol smiled at him and Jongdae felt his chest fill with some kind of emotion he could not describe. It made him even more nervous.

“Well, I actually did it during the, er, whole love potion incident… thing. Because you asked me to and I didn’t want to make you sad. But it feels more natural now.”

“Ah, you did? I can’t believe I missed that.”

“Yeah…” Jongdae said quietly, after all it was his fault Chanyeol couldn’t remember a thing from that day. Eager to switch subjects, Jongdae continued, “A-anyway, what did you want to ask me before?”

“Ah, um, well…”

Chanyeol looked down, and Jongdae could swear his cheeks looked redder than before in the light of the burning torches.

“I- I was thinking… Is it true, you know, that you… like me?”

Oh. Maybe Jongdae shouldn’t have asked. He did not want things to repeat themselves, after all. It had been humiliating when Chanyeol had asked him the first time, so why did he have to do it again? Didn’t he know by now?

Jongdae seriously considered leaving; if this was going to lead to Chanyeol making fun of him there was no point in staying. But then Chanyeol took his right hand in his, moving his thumb in soothing circles over Jongdae’s skin, and… Jongdae stayed.

“I’m… fine. With it. You can tell me”, Chanyeol said, and had that sincere look on his face again, and it almost felt too good to be true. Why wasn’t Chanyeol disgusted with him, why didn’t he try to avoid him, why was he actually attempting to talk this out with Jongdae? The questions circulated in Jongdae’s head in the way Chanyeol’s thumb was still circulating calmingly on the back of Jongdae’s hand, making him feel somewhat conflicted, but… Perhaps his only choice was to properly answer the question. To finally confess to Chanyeol, once and for all.

“…Yes. Actually, I’m pretty sure like is too weak of a word. I’ve kinda realised that, um… the feelings I have for you aren’t really hate, but… the opposite. And there’s no point in denying it now, you already figured it out weeks ago; I- I’m in lo-”

Okay… maybe he was not brave enough to say it out loud. Jongdae took a deep breath, lifted his gaze slowly to look at Chanyeol’s face, to catch his reaction, and continued, “You know what I mean.”

He was sure Chanyeol did.

Jongdae’s heart was hammering in his chest, more intense than he had ever felt it do before, but he had no time to half-assedly try to collect himself. This was it, he had done what he could, and now Chanyeol had to speak, say something, react.

Chanyeol’s cheeks were cutely enough almost the same shade as his sweater, and his eyes were big, completely focusing on Jongdae. Then, Chanyeol smiled. He actually smiled, and Jongdae had no idea if it was a good or a bad reaction. Actually, he was almost shaking, anxiously awaiting what Chanyeol would do next, this was nerve-racking, but he could do nothing, just wait-

Chanyeol then squeezed Jongdae’s hand reassuringly, and finally started speaking.

“That’s… that’s good then, because, I… I feel the same.”

Jongdae was ninety-nine percent sure his heart actually stopped.

For a couple of seconds Jongdae did nothing; he didn’t breathe, his shaking stopped, his tense hand fell limp in Chanyeol’s still firm grip, and he… his gaze was directed at Chanyeol’s face, sure, but he didn’t look at him.

It was hard to believe, Jongdae thought when he had finally managed to recover, how could… why would Chanyeol all of a sudden… feel that way about him? Was this some kind of joke?

“A-ah, about you, I mean, I feel the same but about you!” Chanyeol exclaimed, misinterpreting Jongdae’s silence. He seemed utterly sincere, though, and Jongdae knew Chanyeol was bad at hiding his emotions… He had obviously been nervous about telling Jongdae this, he still seemed nervous, even. And… it would be so unlike Chanyeol to go this far for some y joke. But maybe Jongdae’s brain was just telling him what he wanted to hear…?

Chanyeol must have realised why Jongdae was still unable to speak, because he took Jongdae’s other hand too, and covered both of Jongdae’s smaller hands with his big ones.

“Jongdae, I’m telling the truth. I wouldn’t admit something like this for a prank. It would be too insensitive.”

Chanyeol looked almost pleading, so Jongdae supposed he had to speak up.

“But… the love potion worked on you… when I did the prank…” he managed to verbalise, still feeling that something was wrong despite Chanyeol’s apparent sincerity.

“I’m… er, back then I hadn’t really started seeing you in that way, I think. I just realised it recently, when I got to know about your feelings… I think I’ve always been a little fond of you, actually, but… It’s only now that I’ve started liking you in, well, the same way you like me.”

Jongdae felt this fluttering feeling in his entire body, which he tried to ignore. Still, Chanyeol said he had always been fond of him…! And it was rather brave, admitting all that.

However, something still felt off.

“You’re not… drunk or anything, are you?”

Chanyeol’s eyes widened remarkably.

“What, no! Where would I even get booze from?!”

Poor, innocent Chanyeol, Jongdae thought before he could stop himself. Maybe, just maybe… he was speaking the truth. Holy…

All of a sudden, Jongdae felt a huge surge of energy flowing through his body. In spite of being sleepy before, Jongdae now felt like he could run around the castle, without stopping, just running and running and…

“You- You like me. You like me”, was all Jongdae could say, and Chanyeol released a small laugh.

“Yeah, took you long enough to get”, he said, grinning. Jongdae returned the smile, feeling exceptional. But then-

“How? I mean how come you like me, of all people?”

It still felt a little too good to be true.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Chanyeol asked, looking a bit puzzled. Jongdae sighed.

“Well, there are lots of reasons-”

“Okay, no, shh. This is a bit weird to say, especially since we were, like, rivals before, but… Jongdae, you are a-amazing.”

Jongdae’s eyes widened and his heart probably did a loop in his chest; something about Chanyeol praising him with that deep voice of his… was almost too much. It seemed like Chanyeol was a bit affected by admitting that too, for his face was flushed and he looked away, not meeting Jongdae’s gaze.

“You think?”

“Yes. To be completely honest, I find it a bit unreal that you like me, too. You’re amazing”, Chanyeol said again, this time with more confidence, brave enough to look at Jongdae again. Jongdae’s face felt as though it were on fire.

“And… in that last conversation we had… Um, you told me to forget it, but I couldn’t… W-well, I want to say that you’re really beautiful. Too.”

This was too much; Jongdae nearly got the urge to cry. Forget that his face felt like it was on fire, Jongdae was sure it was actually burning by now, with dangerously hot flames, turning his face into ashes. Not knowing what to do, or what to say, Jongdae released his hands from Chanyeol’s grip, lifting them to cover his precious face.

“Really?” he asked at last, voice coming out muffled because of his hands being in the way. Jongdae could not see Chanyeol’s reaction, but he could hear the happiness in his voice as he answered,

“Really. And stop covering your face. I want to see it.”

Chanyeol gently grabbed Jongdae’s wrists, and slowly brought his hands down; Jongdae did not fight back. Though he did feel a bit embarrassed when Chanyeol could look at him properly again, he knew his face was redder than the Christmas decorations the staff had yet to remove from the castle.

“Ah, you’re so… cute.”

Chanyeol had that fond expression on his face again, and looked absolutely adorable, so Jongdae could not really understand why Chanyeol was calling him cute. He did feel flattered, though. It reminded him of when Chanyeol had been affected by love potion and insisted on calling him cute, although, this felt like a very different situation. Chanyeol did not at all look like he was under the influence of love potion of any sort, his face and eyes looked perfectly normal and he didn’t have that obsessive thing going on; he was just so… genuine.

Jongdae smiled at him, and Chanyeol happily grinned back.

“You really like me, then…” Jongdae stated, feeling somewhat cheesy but he couldn’t help it. Besides, he did not really care, this was too important for him to pay any attention to something like that.

“Yeah… Actually, I want to try something”, Chanyeol said, and took a step closer to Jongdae, who immediately felt a stir of excitement. What was he…?

Chanyeol then leaned forwards, keeping his gaze on Jongdae’s face. Jongdae felt a bit nervous, so he his lips, having no idea what to do with himself at the moment. Did Chanyeol expect him to lean closer to him, too? Stand on his toes to reach him better? Because he was about to kiss him, right?

Trying to calm his speedy heartbeat down, Jongdae breathed in slowly, collecting himself. By now, Chanyeol was really near, and Jongdae needed to be prepared. He had been in this situation before, after all, he should know what to do.

Chanyeol’s face came even closer, and Jongdae realised he was not ready. He stood there, frozen, as Chanyeol leaned into him and…

He didn’t kiss Jongdae. Instead, he moved his face closer to a place on Jongdae’s head, sniffing his hair.

… What.

“… What?” Jongdae voiced out loud.

“Oh, it’s… it’s the same!” Chanyeol exclaimed, making Jongdae even more confused, then leaned back again. His eyes were bright and his expression joyful.

“What is-”

“Your scent! It’s the same as the one I could smell from the Amortentia! It’s the third thing, the scent I couldn’t recognise, but… Everything makes sense! It was you!”

“Oh, that’s nice…” was all Jongdae could say. Of course, he meant it, it was really thrilling to hear that Chanyeol had smelled his scent from the Amortentia, but… He couldn’t keep himself from feeling a bit disappointed that he hadn’t been kissed.

Actually, there was nothing he wanted more than that right now. Kissing Chanyeol. It was just… Even though Chanyeol had that silly smile on his face at the moment (which Jongdae couldn’t help but replicate) he was still so frustratingly attractive, and all Jongdae wanted to do was to kiss his stupid face, busy his lips with something else than just smiling dumbly. And Chanyeol was so close, too, he didn’t even need to make a big effort to cover those lips with his own, the opportunity was there and damn, Jongdae was going to seize it. After all, Chanyeol never received his reward that life-changing day a couple of weeks ago.

Jongdae therefore moved even closer to Chanyeol, putting his hands on the latter’s shoulders to keep his balance while tiptoeing, all to be on level with Chanyeol’s face (particularly his mouth). He did this very quickly, so Chanyeol barely had the time to react before Jongdae tilted his head slightly, leaning in for the taller’s lips.

Chanyeol seemed to realise what was happening just as their lips were about to meet, his eyes widening and mouth opening slightly in a small gasp. This caused their teeth to clack together awkwardly, partly because Jongdae had applied a lot of force to his ascent. In spite of that, Jongdae’s heart was pounding with excitement, he could finally feel the softness of Chanyeol’s pretty lips against his own, and it was absolutely amazing.

To be entirely honest he wasn’t too sure of how he was to do this, but that did not seem to matter much since their lips slid smoothly over each other on their own. Chanyeol relaxed quickly, releasing a small sigh through his nose and closing his eyes in content. This action was enough to make Jongdae feel a tickling sensation in his entire body, but it became even better when Chanyeol used a very physical method of beckoning Jongdae to come even closer, wrapping his arms around Jongdae’s back and pulling them chest to chest; Jongdae was sure he could actually feel Chanyeol’s heartbeat against his own. It made him immensely happy; if he had doubted Chanyeol’s feelings for him before, those doubts were gone by now. There was no way Chanyeol would go this far and kiss him, and enjoy it too, just for a ty prank.

As this was Jongdae’s first time kissing for real, Chanyeol was the more experienced kisser because of the fact that he had dated before (when Jongdae thought about it, he realised how inexplicably grumpy he had been around that time; now he knew why). Therefore Jongdae trusted him to know what he was doing, and just followed along when Chanyeol moved his mouth upwards a bit, trapping Jongdae’s upper lip between his own. There was a wet sound as he did so, which Jongdae probably would have thought was gross if he was in any other situation, but now it just made him even more excited.

Then, when Chanyeol started lightly on his upper lip Jongdae felt as though someone had used a Jelly-Legs Jinx on him, as his legs went all wobbly and unsteady. In need for something to keep his balance better, and also in desperation for even more bodily contact, Jongdae threw his arms around Chanyeol’s shoulders, pressing himself even closer.

Chanyeol responded with a low noise from the back of his throat, tightening his grip around Jongdae’s waist and back. Feeling more adventurous because of that, wanting to see how else he could make Chanyeol react, Jongdae opened his mouth slightly to let his tongue slide over Chanyeol’s lower lip. It was very brief, but Chanyeol’s response was immediate by parting his lips as well, and good lord, now Jongdae was hanging onto him for dear life; Chanyeol released a sigh of hot air into Jongdae’s own mouth. His breath was rather sweet, Jongdae suspected there might’ve been treats around during the celebrations in the Gryffindor house, and Jongdae couldn’t keep himself from responding to Chanyeol with a moan.

By now his entire body was burning, and Jongdae knew he would just make it worse by continuing, yet he could not stop. There was just something thoroughly intoxicating about the fiery feeling taking over him, making him do things he would never do otherwise. Such as yet again with pleasure as Chanyeol slid his tongue into his mouth, oh boy, this was something he had just dreamt of before, actually happening right now. Jongdae tried to do the same, getting a taste of Chanyeol’s mouth and saliva, feeling rather nasty but oh, how he enjoyed it. Chanyeol’s tongue was wet and warm, and Jongdae traced it slowly with his own, earning him a groan from Chanyeol.

Jongdae then lifted one of his hands to the back of Chanyeol’s neck, slowly moving it upwards to run his fingers through Chanyeol’s hair; it was as soft as it looked. Opening his eyes slightly, Jongdae caught a glance of Chanyeol furrowing his brows as he released yet another hot, heavy sigh into Jongdae’s mouth. Jongdae almost shivered with excitement; he liked to think that Chanyeol had wanted this as much as he did, and that he felt the same burning feeling as Jongdae felt.

He couldn’t help it, his heartbeat was increasing even more and his palms were sweaty as he held himself as close to Chanyeol as possible, still exploring the other’s mouth eagerly. Chanyeol’s tongue was hot against his, and his hands felt just as hot against Jongdae’s back. It was embarrassing, but with the way he had started to breathe more heavily than before Jongdae was sure his body was going to react inappropriately if this continued, yet he did not want this to end-

Luckily Sadly It did not go that far as they were interrupted by a loud gasp.

The entrance to the Gryffindor common room had opened slightly, revealing several of Chanyeol’s friends. Jongdae and Chanyeol immediately separated with an embarrassing smack, perhaps a bit too fast as Jongdae felt a long string of saliva (it might have been his own, it might have been Chanyeol’s, or it could even be from both of them) stick to his chin. He self-consciously wiped it off with the back of his hand, spotting Chanyeol doing something similar with a sweater-clad arm.

“What is- What are you-” stuttered one of Chanyeol’s friends, seemingly shocked (and possibly a bit scarred for life). Another one just pointed at them speechlessly, letting her facial expression do the talking. The only one who seemed to not be as taken aback was Amber, who just made a grimace.

“Ew, guys. Gross”, she said emphatically.

Jongdae didn’t know it was physically possible for a face to feel this hot. He therefore buried his entire face in Chanyeol’s sweater (bless his tall height), hiding it from everyone’s view, he was sure the colour of his face was matching the sweater by now.

Chanyeol, who seemed awfully flustered, decided to do the talking since Jongdae had made it obvious he was not up for it. Besides, they were his friends after all.

“A-ah, er, we were just, um”, Chanyeol managed to tell them, and Jongdae noted with a small feeling of delight that his voice was a little hoarse.

“You were just…? How is- How come you two are-” the pointing girl exclaimed, not even finishing her sentences.

“I told you so. A Galleon, please”, Amber said, and another of Chanyeol’s friends answered.

“Really, how did you guess…? I thought you were joking when you said you thought they’d be making out!”

“Yeah, it sounded too ridiculous to be true!”

Jongdae started to grow very irritated with Chanyeol’s obnoxious friends. He gripped Chanyeol’s sweater tightly, wanting the two of them to be by themselves again.

“Uh, why are you guys even here?” Chanyeol finally asked, at last working out a complete, understandable sentence.

“We were just going to check up on you in case something had happened. You’ve been out here for a while, after all.”

“Yeah, but I’m alright, so, um”, Chanyeol said without finishing, instead clearing his throat. Jongdae realised nothing was going to get done at this rate, so he irritatedly grumbled through the knitted fabric of Chanyeol’s sweater,

“Can you leave us alone?”

“Woah, okay, sorry”, Amber said, sounding a bit offended. Though, she did seem to drag her friends back into the common room, at last leaving Jongdae and Chanyeol on their own.

“They’re… They’re gone now”, Chanyeol said softly after a couple of seconds, and Jongdae removed his face from Chanyeol’s chest, feeling relieved.

“Your friends are annoying”, he stated, looking down. Chanyeol didn’t even try to defend them, he just made a sound of agreement. They then stood opposite each other for a small while. It was all a bit awkward, the sudden appearance of Chanyeol’s friends had kind of ruined the mood from before.

Chanyeol cleared his throat.

“So…”

Jongdae cleared his throat as well; it felt like something was blocking it. A feeling of nervousness, maybe.

“Hm…”

“We, um, got a bit eager there, huh?” Chanyeol noted with a small laugh and Jongdae nodded.

“I kinda liked it, though.”

“Oh, don’t misunderstand, I really liked it too! It was… nice”, Chanyeol said with a bashful smile, and Jongdae could not understand how someone could look so cute yet so frustratingly handsome at the same time. “Let’s do it again sometime.”

“Sounds like a plan”, Jongdae replied, grinning back at Chanyeol.

“Tomorrow, maybe? It’s a Sunday, so… um, we could go do something together, er, if you want to, that is…” Chanyeol awkwardly stammered, and Jongdae smiled even bigger than before.

“Of course I want to”, he almost snickered, “let’s meet up after breakfast. And promise not to fling me up any trees”, he then added jokingly. Chanyeol’s huge eyes widened, but then he caught on.

“Only if you promise not to give me any treats spiked with love potion! They wouldn’t even work, so it would just be a waste of effort…”

The thought of his stupid love potion prank made Jongdae somewhat embarrassed, but thinking back on it, he did not regret it. It was after all what lead to him discovering his feelings about Chanyeol, and Chanyeol finding out about said feelings, and then figuring out his own feelings, too. If it hadn’t happened, they would not be where they were right at the moment. In spite of experiencing a tiny sting of guilt, Jongdae felt happier than ever.

“Anyway… I should probably go back… It’s late and all. And my friends have probably told everyone in there what they, um, saw. Just so you know. Hope it’s alright.”

“… Yeah. I’m not going to feel ashamed for liking you anymore. They can tell whoever they want, I don’t care”, Jongdae said, but to be completely honest it was hard not to feel a little humiliated… He supposed it was difficult to change so quickly, but he was going to. He just needed some time, that was all.

“Ah, super”, Chanyeol said with a grin, cheeks turning pink as he leaned forward a little. “So, um…”

It took Jongdae a second or two to figure out that Chanyeol expected them to kiss goodnight. Oh.

Jongdae therefore leaned a bit closer as well, only to raise a hand and lightly press his index finger to Chanyeol’s lips.

“Now, you already received your reward”, he said, smiling smugly at Chanyeol’s puzzled expression, “but… I guess I can give you a bonus for giving you the reward so late.”

With that he removed his digit from Chanyeol’s lips, and before Chanyeol had the time to say anything Jongdae tiptoed to place a quick kiss to said lips, feeling that warm, tickling sensation in his entire body again.

“It’s not really my fault, though… You just wouldn’t accept it until now. Goodnight, Chanyeol. See you tomorrow.”

Jongdae turned around, trying to keep himself from laughing out loud at Chanyeol’s adorably confused face.

“Wait, wha-” Chanyeol started, “What reward? What for?”

Jongdae chose to ignore the questions, instead almost skipping down the stairs. He was acting a bit silly, he knew that, but he could not bring himself to care. After all, he felt more euphoric than he had ever done before. And it was all because of Chanyeol. If someone had told him a month or so ago that he would feel this way about his arch-enemy, Jongdae would’ve just laughed, not believing it for a second. But here he was. Life was strange, huh.

 

(When Jongdae woke up the next day, he was welcomed with a somewhat disoriented feeling. The entire time during breakfast, his brain was filled with conflicting thoughts. He was worried that it was all a dream; what had happened yesterday felt too good to be true. But when he saw Chanyeol waiting for him outside the Great Hall, looking as nervous as Jongdae felt on the inside, all of his worries were gone. Instead, Jongdae got an immense feeling of bliss as he started walking alongside Chanyeol, their fingers slowly intertwining.

No love potion in the world could give him that.)

 

THE END

 

a/n: EUPHOOOORIAAA~ FOREVER ‘TIL THE END OF TIME ♪

okay, actually… i feel rather empty finishing this. i’ve become too immersed in this story for my own good, lol. i put a lot of effort into this last part but i still don’t feel entirely satisfied :/ but i hope it’s alright! (you can tell that i like platonic chensoo in this, haha.) 

once again, thank you so much for reading this huge thing! hope you enjoyed it!!! (you’re really welcome to tell me what you think ;v;)