The car ride was strained and Nichkhun couldn't help but hate himself more and more as time passed. He wanted so much to make Jessica laugh, the way she was earlier with Tiffany and... 

Taecyeon.

Taecyeon was easily approachable. It was a trait that Nichkhun had always admired, even if it caused his friend some stress due to various scandals. Although Nichkhun never envied Taecyeon's constant string of scandals, when the scandal between him and Jessica occurred, he surprised himself. Not only was he envious, he was furious with Taecyeon. It had brought out a jealous rage that he had never before experienced and he didn't fight it.

When it happened a second time, he'd been so bitter, he found himself making underhanded snide remarks about Taecyeon during interviews or making compliments that had a double meaning.

 He was frustrated with how life seemed to mock him, his friends becoming close to a woman he- he what? He had never been in love before, so to claim what he felt for Jessica was love felt naive. And still yet he was hopelessly jealous with the fact that Taecyeon was so approachable, and that Jaebeom was easily sincere. He couldn't even compare to Chansung's cool and laid-back demeanor.

That was his problem though. He constantly compared himself to guys she was close to, or closer to her than he was. He did so when she was with Jaebeom, did so even before they were together- he was just never able to admit his feelings. He loved hearing her laugh, but always agonized over the fact that he was never the one to bring it about.

He glanced over to see what she was doing and gave a small sigh of relief. Jessica had fallen asleep.

Inwardly, he knew she might've done so just to escape the awkwardness, but was grateful nonetheless. He didn't want another chance at screwing things up.

Jessica had closed her eyes in attempt to fall asleep. Usually that was all it took for her to drift off into slumber... Yet she found it impossible. Maybe it was what Nichkhun had said, or the absent-minded way he had said it, but it unnerved her to the point that the lull of dreamworld was nonexistent.

'Was the strain of their relationship so blatantly obvious that someone outside the group could tell with one look?,' she contemplated.

Had she shown a second of pain and emotional wear without realizing?  

Even if she did, she rationalized, she wouldn't let it happen again.

She was proud, though, that she didn't shed a tear. Proud that she had regained her composure before she had confessed just how hard it still was on her... Proud that she didn't let him see how extremely close she had been to bawling like a little child.

No, she'd save her tears.

She'd allow them to fall when everything was resolved and she made that once easily innoccent dream a reality. Until then, she just had to endure and keep up her happy and carefully placed nonchalant composure.  

As Jessica kept her eyes shut and her breathing steady, she could feel Nichkhun's frequent glances scanning her. So frequent that she opened one eye and cracked a small smile.

"Stare anymore, oppa, and you won't be able to get rid of my awesomeness from your memory."

Nichkhun coughed, trying to hide his embarrassment at getting caught staring.

All he could manage was a feeble, "Whatever-" and a "You wish," before he felt his cheeks and ears flush once more. He ended it with a little, hmph, before giving his full and undivided attention to the road.

Jessica gave a nod of approval, "Spoken like a real manly man!" She whacked him on the shoulder and laughed in earnest. "Real men talk less!"

Just like that, his attention to the road failed and he glanced back at her once more. She was laughing heartily, easily, and Nichkhun couldn't help but follow suit.

"Ice princess my foot," he grinned, turning in to the parking garage of the 2AM dorm where Chansung and Jokwon were waiting.

Jessica, surprised at her sudden burst of laughter but grateful as well, wiped at the tears that had fallen from her extreme laughter.

"Awww oppa," she cooed as she got out of the car. "Does this mean you care?"

"Dream on," he smiled back, waving her on.

"I don't do anything but that!" came her retort as she sauntered away. "And anyway oppa, dreams, if you believe and work hard at it, are wishes that will someday be fulfilled. No matter what~!"

As looked on he caught himself chuckling.

She was right, he realized. After all these years of random conversations, this one extremely short and useless conversation had made his wish to make her laugh a reality in the most unusual way.

Yet he was still unsure on how much more of his heart he was willing to risk in exchange for wishing for more of anything in regards to a relationship with Jessica.

Still yet, he had a seed of hope planted within, and a nagging feeling of longing that made him partially aware that he was unwittingly risking his all.

As he watched her reach Taecyeon and Tiffany, joyfully whacking them both on the back and immediately getting caught in a headlock by Taecyeon, his heart swelled and ached and hopelessly determined that she was worth it all.

He just couldn't let her see it.