“You’re still here?” she whispered

He replies with a low hum, tightening his grip on her.

“I left a while ago and bought you dinner”

She stirs, gently removes his arms from her and sits up. It’s 9:30 pm. He follows and sits beside her.

“I’m sorry Seokmin. I’m…” she trails off. She’s sorry because she feels she used him for her escape from her tiring life. She badly wants to say that she is genuinely sorry but it has been said many times before, this has happened many times before, where she calls him in tears and he would run right away  to calm her and hold her until she falls asleep.

“It’s  okay ___” he whispers, “how do you feel?”

“Better I guess”

Silence envelops them. She feels a little awkward because Seokmin is watching her, his eyes glistening with such concern and warmth and kissing him is the only thing she wants to do because he deserves that. God, he deserves so much more than that.

“I think I’m going to shower” she says, “You better go home, Seokmin”

“Can I stay just for tonight?” he asks, half concern half doubt. She looks at him and a sigh leaves her lips. The sudden feel of burden weighs on her heart. She shakes her head and stands up. Seokmin tails her to the bathroom, and just before she opens the door, he takes arms in his and pulls her closer, placing his head on her shoulder.

“When will you accept me…” he whispers and she closes her eyes, willing herself not to cry. He’s so close, his arms wrapped around her waist and his scent enveloping her in familiar warmth.

“I’m afraid that I can’t make you happy, Seokmin” she replies weakly.

“How many times do I have to say to you, your existence alone already makes me happy” he begins, feeling a little frustrated but he pushes it aside, like always. “I have too much happiness for myself alone, but it will be enough for us”

Lee Seokmin. Even his name alone makes her imagine a huge flower garden, with warm sun shining above them.

She doesn’t mean to be selfish. But she knows if she accepts him, their new relationship status will make her somehow have the responsibility to give back what he gives. Unfortunately she cannot do that now, because she’s not happy. She’s barely hanging on a thread with the things going on in her home. She doesn’t even know how far her strength will keep her up, beside him.  

She can feel warm fingers of his intertwined on her hips. She turns her body, moving inside his arms. Gently cupping his face with both her hands,she places her forehead on his.

Seokmin found her during their freshman year. When their eyes first met, he instantly knows that there it is, one person that suddenly climbs up his list of priorities. And he’s still patiently pursuing that even after all these years.

 She doesn’t even know what makes him so drawn to her like this. But to him, her eyes tell stories that he would really like to unravel one by one. She’s just perfect with all her imperfections, and he loves her deeply for that.

The only thing he needs is just a yes from her and his world will be complete.