On a rainy afternoon, you entered a busy restaurant, simply looking for lunch. Dazed from the tired day and the dark weather, you walked towards a table, only to be halted on your tracks by a familar voice.

"Hey!" a male voice called out.

Who? You flipped your head after passing by a tall figure and saw his face. It can't be. 

His hair was different, his demeanor was different, his aura was different. Your friends have mentioned to you of this change, but you never knew it was so drastic until you saw it in person. Some said it was for the worse, and some said it was for the better, but the only thing you were certain of was that it did not concern you. 

"Are you ignoring me?" He spoke again. His voice was familiar, but everything else was so foreign. Who is this stranger standing in front of you?

Those boyish bangs I liked are gone and that dark navy windbreaker you would wear on days like this is nowhere in sight. 

The old you is gone.

"Oh, hi!" You feigned elation and surprise, followed by a quick wave. How long has it been? About a month maybe? A month of me doing everything in my power to avoid your presence, fixing my schedule so we would never come face-to-face, and a month of me running away. 

There were a thousand questions that you wanted to ask him, but your tongue did not budge and your lips sealed themselves as you applied pressure to force a sudden and confused smile. Because of you, I stopped watching romantic Korean dramas, listening to bright love songs, reading any enchanting romance novel, and believing in any kind of love. Then, suddenly, out of the blue, you walk back into my life on a rainy afternoon.

"How have you been?" He had the audacity to ask. 

"Uhhmm, things have been slow, but right now, they're picking up again." You nodded with a vague answer that was enough for him to understand. Nobody wants to appear weak in time like these, but you could not bear to lie. It was a fact that things had been slow. So slow, in fact, it felt like time completely stopped for you the first few days after he left. You did not care if it was 7am in the morning or 7pm at night, there was no light in the room you locked yourself in as your appetite hid itself along with you in dark. 

"How about you?" You asked just for courtesy. Honestly, you did not want to know how he has been. It has been so hard trying to get over him that you no longer wanted to know anything about him, and because the wound has yet to completely heal, you were afraid that any little thing would trigger the pain again. You were not sure if you were ready for answer or not, but the words naturally slipped out before you could even think. 

"Hmm pretty good," He replied with a guarded answer, not revealing much. Are you afraid of hurting me or are we so far away now that you do not want to share much with me at all?

"Anyway, I got an appointment after lunch so I'm going to just order some food and get to-go. Sorry," you made up an excuse out of thin air. Truth was, you had nothing planned that afternoon nor evening. It was the only free day you had after the incredibly busy week of work, the only thing that kept you breathing. Whenever the image of his smile become visible in your mind, you refocused your energy and mind elsewhere and work and work and work until that image became blurry. It was both a distraction and an escape. 

"No wonder you were in such a hurry you didn't even see me," He chuckled. "Anyway, I won't keep you back when you're busy. Good to hear things are okay."

"Uh-huh. You too," you gently waved and turned away in a hurry. 

That's it. You both met again after everything, pretended nothing happened, and ended things with you running away. 

Well, I was ataken back, you tried to defend yourself. My mind went blank. I couldn't even tell who he was for God's Sake.

Standing in line to order some food, you stared at your phone blankly, trying to gather all the pieces of yourself that you were able to temporarily glue together before he came and chipped them off again. 

"Hello!" A hand grabbed your shoulder. "Didn't expect to see you here," she smiled brightly at you, beaming with the same glow you had two month ago. She's in love, you thought. 

Another piece of you chipped off, rolling away into the distance and stopping at his feet. He looked at you from afar, noticing that you and her have met already. 

"Oh hey," you replied.

Seeing how surprised you are, I guess he did not tell you that he ran into me.

"You look good," you smiled genuinely. Although you were supposed to hate her, you did not. It was not her fault he drifted away from you. If he was not meant for you, he was going to to drift away sooner or later. If he did not love you enough to stay when she was around, then he was not strong enough to stay with you through thick and thin. She was like a test, a temptation he could not resist. 

"You too," she continued to smile, making you wonder how she got the muscles to do so for so long. She pointed out that he was there too and tried to call him over when you mentioned that you had already ran into him ealier. You both then continued to chit-chat for a while about this and that, about your work, and her work, but nothing about him until it was your turn to order.

After gettting your food, you walked passed their table, feeling obligated to bid goodbye before leaving. Once outside, you opened your umbrella and walked out into the rain, wondering if he had ever mention anything about you to her. Probably not. There was no way on Earth someone like her would be able to calmly talk to you if she knew about your past with him. She is beautiful and she is confident, but she is also insecured when it came to him, and she is the type to want undivdied attention; she was the total opposite of you. 

Can someone do that? Fall out of love then fall in love with someone completely different? Did you realize that maybe someone like me was not right so you searched for something immensely distinct. 

Out of the blue, you realized you stopped walking. Your thoughts were tangled up and your feet froze. You were not exactly hurt, but numb. How were you able to sterilize the wound, you did not know. Your heart did not scream for him, but a part of you did feel an odd mixture of overwhelming nostalgia with a hint of determination when looking at his face.

You recalled the last conversation you had together. It was around 12am when you sent him the message, around 2am when he replied, and around 4am when you realized your world was falling into a complete utter mess.

"Let's forget about all this. Let's pretend nothing happened," you bitterly sent.

"No, that would be a waste. I think it's an experience we can both learn from." He disagreed.

At that moment, you had no idea what he meant and you just want to slap him on the face for saying such stupid things. What was there to learn from? That we're not right for each other? That love and love hurts? That I should never fall for anyone so easily?

However, after some time has passed, you noticed you have learned something; you have learned from this entire time without him that time goes on; both his time and the world's time. Althought it felt like it did not, it actually did. The dates were changing, Winter was leaving and Spring was coming, one of your friend found a new job and another got engaged, and the plants you stopped watering were wilting. Time was going on, the Earth kept rotating, and nothing stopped just because you were sad. Although it made you feel miniscular, it also made you realize that things can go on and you can go on. After weeks of just working and getting good results from your employment, you began to come to term with the fact that he is gone and you have to live, no matter what, whether he was there or not. 

Despite your desperate attempts to avoid him at all cost, and despite your stubborness in not taking your friend's advice to patch things up with him, fate was something people cannot escape. Maybe it was for the best though. After meeting him today, you knew for certain that the majority of you had healed and after seeing how unfamiliar he looked and felt, you learned to accept that he was gone. The person you loved was gone. When you fell in love with him, he was already out of your grasp, on the verge of changing. You always knew he was fickled and volatile, but you never knew it was to such an extent. Seeing how things have turned out, you knew it was for the better you two did not work out. 

You can't easily say or admit that everything was okay, because indeed, the scar remained. However, you knew things were slowly healing as time was doing its job in picking you up. Ironically, after those days of simply existing and holding in your breath, you felt like you can finally breath after seeing him. After all those time of hanging on a rope, you finally was able to let go, because although it was terrifying to see what was below, you eventually gained the courage to look down and see the grass field, ready to embrace you once you let yourself free.