Title: 06. All I Desire
Author: kyouya3/kyouya-sama
Length: Drabble
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama, Angst, Romance
A/N: Blame Jaejoong's new album lyrics trans...

06. All I Desire

Maybe they weren’t destined to be together. They knew deep down there’s nobody would support their relationship without being contradicted. The fans loved them as a couple, but only as fan service. They knew given time, some might accept them if they came out it was real but they also knew, some other and most people would reject them; judge them even.

Yet, the desire was unbearable.

That’s why Jaejoong was so afraid that Yunho someday would leave him. Maybe one day Yunho wouldn’t need Jaejoong anymore as he would find someone better. Maybe Yunho would come home to other house; not the same one as Jaejoong.

How Jaejoong wished such day wouldn’t come. He knew he would lose his way if Yunho left. He couldn’t imagine himself living in a world without Yunho. He wouldn’t be able to let Yunho go; he would beg for Yunho to not leave him and keep the door open for him.

He knew deep down both of them were expected to get married and had their children. Yet, the thought always felt foreign to him. Jaejoong loved how Yunho embraced him, circling his body with his arms. He would run to whenever Yunho was going.

Jaejoong couldn’t believe he once thought Yunho was a bother. He remembered he used to dislike strict Yunho as their group leader. Yet, he was smitten on as they grew closer and eventually they fell for each other. Then the coupling started; it wasn’t the company trick, it’s a fact actually.

He didn’t know about Yunho, but Jaejoong would be a fool if Yunho left him. He knew he would put on his usual mask but he would yell for Yunho’s name every single time, especially when he’s home alone.

There was times when both of them got restless in the middle of the night as they embraced each other. They didn’t know what the future would bring and they’re so afraid, but at least they had each other. Now, Jaejoong could only look on those beautiful broken memories as he had lost Yunho for good.

They’re still friend but no more than that. 

How Jaejoong desired Yunho for himself; he couldn’t put words on that.

All he desired was for Yunho to come back to him and they were together like old times. Not as friend or college but as lovers.

Even now he still remembered the dawn they broke everything off. It was for the best, Yunho said. Jaejoong wanted to protest but he knew deep down this would come. He was left alone and Yunho was gone. Yet, the man never left his heart for even a second since that day.

Jaejoong wished it was the same for Yunho but at the same time he wished Yunho would move on and forget him. Because he know how desire could drive someone mad; at least Yunho wouldn’t feel what he felt. The undying cursed desire to have someone you couldn’t have in the first place.