On the day that my father was overcome by illness, my mother cried. It was the first time I saw her cry in my entire life, even if we had not always lived easy and happy moments.

"Wookie, you are family man now." She told me, still in tears.

I could not do much, I was in shock, and just what I could do was hug her tightly, telling her that everything would be fine, that my father had finally had peace. That she did not suffer, because he was no longer suffering.

That's what I wanted to believe that everything would be fine, that my father was just resting, healing of his illness, he had not lost forever.  More I knew it was wrong.

And it was exactly for being deceived, I was there now, waiting for the bus that directly take me to Seoul, clutching the passage between my sweaty fingers, while my mother gently my hair, singing a lullaby song that always I used to sing to me and my brothers when we were younger. It was my favorite song, even after all these years.

"The bus is coming dear." She said, stopping with the sweet melody, even if the tone was still gentle.

"I saw." I said, sly.

How not to see? My eyes just glazed over in the way he knew he would come, I could not do nothing but want it to linger just a little longer, while it was still looking forward to his coming.

The truth is that I was afraid. Afraid to leave everything behind, afraid to grow up and face it head on, afraid to lose the lap of my mother, afraid of losing me the great streets of Seoul and never to return home. I was afraid that everything went wrong, I could not help my mother and my brothers end up losing to an orphanage. I was afraid of everything and at the same time, I was sure that this was the only way out.

Everything would have to go right.

And so I strongly embraced, looking at the small line of people formed in front of the bus. I wanted to cry and cry and say he was not ready, that would miss more the tears of my mother among its many kisses in my head made me smile and assure you that everything would be fine.

"Later Omma." I smiled.

"So, delay not to come, yes?" She smiled back, giving me one last kiss forehead before releasing me.

I kept smiling as he waved and then turned to walk to the front door of the bus, showing my ticket and documents to the man responsible for check them.

"Good trip, Kim Ryeowook." The man gave a gentle smile and I just rewards.

I e last time back, blowing a kiss to my mother, who was now accompanied by my younger brothers, who waved tirelessly while shouting things that I was no longer able to understand and after that, I sighed, turning me back to front and finally, entering the bus.

Can not tear my eyes from the road. I managed was still nervous and hardly contain the tears since I got on that bus. It was as if all the chips were placed simultaneously on the table, showing me a final game that I did not want to find.

My father was dead, my family going through need and I'm going to Seoul, where he will have a part-time job that will be responsible for feeding my brothers from now on. All this in less than a month. All this even before my birthday 14 years.

Was being very complicated, then who can judge me to be crying alone in the midst of a busload of strangers? No one!

I wiped my eyes, wiping the thick tears that escaped slide down my face as I sniffled softly. In my ear Mp3 playing the latest release of one of my favorite K-pop groups, and the slow music was not helping me forget everything that was happening. Where were the lively music when I needed them?

"We will arrive in 20 minutes, this is the last stop before Seoul." The driver warned.

Overall the trip was much faster than I expected. Of course, if I had chosen one has or the plane, I probably would already be ma city, however it meant that it would also be more expensive and anyway, I did not mind so much, at least travel time was enough to make me better accept the whole situation. I had some time alone to think and cry as much as I thought necessary and a part of me already felt that this was less a burden.

I got off the bus to go quickly to the bathroom and to buy a snack, already feeling my stomach start making funny sounds, showing that I was hungry. Ano