Perks of being the boys’ translator was that you get to travel with them wherever they go. Downside of being their translator means you’re around them a little too much and your life now literally revolves around them. It’s fun being with them, they’re lively and keep your life far from being dull. Your only problem was that because you’re around them so often, you ended becoming extremely close to all of them, especially the golden boy.

            Jungkook, when you first met him, was extremely shy. He wouldn’t look you in the eye when he had trouble understanding a certain language and has to ask you for help. Whenever you’d lean over to whisper in his ear the translations during an event, he’d scoot as far away as he can, but still be able to hear what you say. It was cute, and it was even cuter when his ears would turn a nice shade of red on days that Jimin and Taehyung would call him out on how awkward he is.

            Now, however, he has no problem coming to you, not for help on translating a certain word, but instead to rub it in your face that he’s gotten good at learning the language of wherever they were planned to go to next. On events, he doesn’t shy away from you anymore, when you cup your hands around his ear to whisper the translations to him, he leans in a little closer. The ‘95 duo, now sad that their trio is broken up, can’t even make fun of Jungkook anymore due to the fact he has you on his side.

//

            “You like him, don’t you?”

            The way Namjoon just openly brought it up caught you off guard. He said it so calmly, as if he was only telling you what time it was. Taking a quick glance around the plane, you let out a huge breath you didn’t even know you held in, when you saw that everyone was asleep. You slouch down in your seat and cover your face with your hand. There’s no way you’re going to give him the satisfaction of seeing you blush.

“Is it that obvious?” you mumbled.

He pats your head and you glance up at him to see his dimpled smile directed towards you. “As far I’m concerned-,” he starts off, “the only ones who noticed are me, Seokjin-hyung, and Yoongi-hyung.”

You let out a huge sigh and rest your head onto his shoulder. He goes back to patting your head, “Are you going to tell him?” he asks.

You shake your head and your eyelids slowly droop lower and lower, “I already know he doesn’t see me as anything more than this,” you drawled.

Namjoon stops patting your head and hums in disagreement. He gently flicks your forehead and quietly whispers, “You’re going to regret that.”

It falls onto deaf ears however as your breathing slowly evens and you’ve fallen asleep.

//

            News of Jungkook dating an idol of a recent girl group that the boys collaborated with doesn’t surprise you. You were the one that helped him get the girl anyways. You spent nights on the phone with him, hearing him tell you how she was the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. Sometimes, hours after you’ve hung up with him, you’ll lie there with a heavy heart and a tight feeling behind your throat with silent tears that nobody but yourself will know about.

            ‘The Golden Couple’ is the name Jimin and Taehyung gave them and it’s quite true. They’re both good looking, and are amazing at everything they do; they fit perfectly. They’re cute together, you can’t deny that. The times when Jungkook would want to have his secret dates with her, he’d asked you to tag along with Jimin or Taehyung to make it look less obvious. It still hurts seeing him be with someone else, but you already know that Jungkook won’t look at you the way he looks at her.

//

            That night, after the confirmation from both companies and you’re drunk out of your mind to notice anything other than your broken heart. Namjoon lets himself into your apartment and gathers you up in his arms and you cry your heart out to him as he gently sways you back and forth, whispering encouraging words of ‘it’ll get better’.

            You made sure to ignore the missed calls and happy texts that Jungkook sent you.

                                                                             //

            When you told the boys, minus Jungkook who’s out on a date, that you’re going to be resigning as their translator, there were mixed reactions. The older boys saw it coming, they knew how you felt and they knew how broken you are. The ’95 duo however, was totally against it and it took an annoyed Yoongi to kick them both away from you.

            Namjoon gets up and wraps an arm around you. You lean in a little closer to him and he habitually pats your head.

            “This job will always be yours if you ever decide to come back, you know?” he asks as he gazes down at you.

            You crane your neck to look up at him and you poke his dimples as you stand on the tip of your toes to try to be of same eye level. He lets out a small snort and you feel a grin spread across your face.

            “Just because I don’t work for you guys anymore don’t mean you can get rid of me that easily,” you say with your hands on your hips.

            “THEN DON’T GO!” Taehyung yelled as he threw himself onto you and sobbed into your hair.

            You glance over your shoulder and see Yoongi get up and roll up a magazine that was lying on the table next to him.

            “I in’ swear-“

//

            The excessive pounding on your door already gave away on who it could be. No idiot in their right mind would even think of pissing you off this bad by waking you up like this. After groggily getting up from the couch and hearing the satisfying crack of your back, you drag your feet to the door.

            You haven’t even opened the door halfway and Jungkook slams it open. He catches you mid fall and quickly balances you, but then drags you towards your couch after he slammed your door shut. He gently pushes you to sit and doesn’t say anything. You watch him walk back and forth in front of you, occasionally running his hand through his hair, and he’d stop every couple of minutes to look at you and repeat it all over again.

            “I swear Kook, if you don’t sit the down, I’m gonna kick you out,” you grumbled.

            He stops right in front of you and you stands up, ready to give him hell, but he cuts you off first.

            “Why didn’t you tell me first that you were quitting?” he growled. You roll your eyes and cross your arms, and that only makes him madder as you watch him clench and unclench his jaw.

            “I didn’t know I had to run things by you first, dad” you spat back.

He narrows his eyes and stands higher to tower over you. If possible he steps even closer and you can practically feel the heat of his anger rolling off of him.

“Are you trying to piss me off right now?”

“I don’t know, is it working?” you question him. He doesn’t say anything else but glare at you and he tries to even out his heavy breathing. You don’t even falter from his glower and glare at him back.

It doesn’t even take more than 2 minutes for Jungkook’s menacing look to fade and he relaxes his body. He rests his head onto your shoulder and you feel his breaths ghost across your neck. You relish in the feel of him and your heart betrays you by beating too fast and if he listens close enough he might even be able to hear it.

“Why did you quit?” he whispers. You let out a soft but sad chuckle and bring your hand up to run your fingers through is hair. He lets out a content sigh and you feel your throat tightening.

“Do you want the truth?” you croaked.

“Yes.”

You gently push him off you and he holds onto your arms, almost as if he senses that you’re trying to push him far away.

You let out a couple shaky breaths and your vision starts to blur from the tears forming.

“I’m in love you with you?-”you scoffed at yourself “-actually, I love you.” You look him straight in the eyes and your tears are falling but your words don’t stop. “I don’t know when it happened or how it happened but I ing fell for you, and I hoped, hoped, hoped, you would’ve too.”

“I’m with-”

You scowled at him, “I know who you’re with Jungkook” you snort.

“Then the whole time you helped me-” he his lips, “-you were still in love with me?” he asks and you feel bad now that you see how torn Jungkook looks.

You push both of his hands off of you and this time he doesn’t stop you. You bring a hand up to run through your hair. “I was, still am,” you state.

 “You know-” you start off, “-it hurt when I realized you’re not in love with me-” you chuckled, “but nothing can compare to the pain I felt when I saw you fall in love with her.”

//

            After you tearfully asked Jungkook to leave and to give you space until you’re both ready to face each other, he still hasn’t uttered a single word. Not after you closed the door on him, not after he walks back to the dorm, not after the boys came to make sure he was okay, and especially not after he’s seen the way you wanted so much for him to tell you he loved you too.

            In the end, he couldn’t tell you he loved you the way you loved him. He didn’t want to lie to himself and he didn’t want to lie to you. You didn’t deserve any lies.

            Jungkook feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and he dazedly reaches for it. He doesn’t even bother to read who’s the message from and opens it.

‘I just checked on her, give her time Kook, it takes a while to heal a broken heart’

            Jungkook shuts off his phone and lets out a heavy breath.

            He didn’t deserve your love, he thought, Namjoon does.