You could have smelled the sea, that salty scent was inebriating your sense and the soft wind was letting your hair dance messily on your head. Your dark cardigan was pressed on your body as you were holding your arms around yourself. The silence was accompanied from the waves that were crashing gently on the dark sand. That sound was invading your sense of sound and you were so thankful. You were just concentrating on that, trying to forget everything else. You were doing anything to isolate yourself from the rest of the world, but it seemed the rest of the world was bigger than your willpower.

You closed your eyes and looked up, feeling a warm tear sliding down on your cold cheek. As the first one fell, the others followed that, without even asking for permission, without you even noticing. You stopped your feet, wiping them with the sleeve of your cardigan. You let out a sigh, starting to fill your mind with her memories, yours memories and it seemed more painful that everything else. Her voice was booming in your head, covering the sweet sound of the sea. Your headache started again, it seemed stronger, like a circle that was tightening your skull in a vice. You just were wondering how many tears you could have poured.

“Is this what is called suffering?” You let out a chocked scream, hearing that strange voice again, you turned toward a big iron structure. On that, sat like there was no danger there was him, again. His angelic figure was covered with the same clothes of that night and for a moment you hated that, because it was another thing that was trapped in your head, letting you remember your best friend. The wind was moving his hair so elegantly. His lips were slightly parted and his eyes were piercing on you, searching for something that was unaware to you. Was it real that he couldn’t have felt something like sadness, happiness or love? For a moment you wished you were just like him, apathetic towards life. Yours was just something filled of tedium and confusion.

You looked somewhere else, you had no reason to reply. After his sudden appearance that night, he was gone in the same way, for weeks. You begun to walk again, looking at the ground and ignoring the gelid wind hitting your bare face. After just a moment you felt him right behind you, touching your shoulders. 
“I was too hasty, right? I’m sorry.” His voice was really close and you wondered how was possible for him to arrive in no time right behind you, it was kind of scary. You stopped, ignoring his question again, not really knowing if he had been really too hasty, or if you had been too bad to have refused to explain something he couldn’t have felt in his entire life.
“This is it.” You replied in the end, surprised from your squawk voice. You cleared your throat and you gently brushed away his hands waving your shoulders. You weren’t in the mood to play or to talk. Actually you weren’t in that kind of mood since weeks, you just wanted to stay in your house, crying over her and impressing her memories inside of you, scared to forget her and her story. 

“Humans are strange creatures,” he begun with a low voice, following your shadow without emit any sound. He stepped on your footsteps left on the sand so carefully, like it was a game. “You’re crying since that day, forcing your brain to remember everything …” You stopped and you glared at him, sniffing with your nose.
“Who gave you the permission to look inside of my head?!” You raged out all the anger that was inside of you in just these mere words. “Who the hell are you to decide what I have to think?! You already did too much that night, saving me from what had to be my real fate. Just go away, go in the hell, or in the heaven or wherever you come from and leave me alone!” Your tears were running out again, and you couldn’t really stop them as the sobs were shaking your tiny body. “ It would have been better if I was gone that night, like her! like everyone would have gone in my situation!”

“I’m an ang-” He was stopped by you, who weakly pushed him, giving him childish punches on his chest.
“Stop it already!” You screamed, sobbing loudly “Please, stay quiet …” You begged stopping your punches and leaning your head on your fists, that were resting on his chest.
He stayed still, his arms were on his side, and his head was lightly bend, to see your face on him and your tears wetting his cloth.
It wasn’t comforting, but just touching him let you feel slightly better, like just his presence was some sorting of comforting cure. You sighed a last time, feeling your entire body was relaxing under his touch. Why wasn’t he holding you? That was something usual to comfort someone and even if he couldn’t have felt you needed that, he should have knew that. 

“You don’t need my hug, you’re feeling already better by touching me.” He breathed and you sighed, tired of hearing answers of questions you’ve just thought. But that wasn’t the moment, and you didn’t felt like, to be angry at him. After weeks you were feeling better again and it seemed something impossible. It was wrong, maybe, ‘cause you know you weren’t the one to fight yourself, but it was just right for once. 

Just once.

Hours passed by and you were sat on a rock, you weren’t touching Yoongi anymore, slightly feeling your sadness growing inside of you again. Your view was lost, looking at a vast expanse of open water. You felt like your entire life was that immense sea. Dark, big and just knew on the surface. But which secrets your life, and the sea, hidden from everyone? in the darkest place of your body, of your soul like an abyss.
That was something no one could have found out, neither did he. You looked at him and at his eyes. He was looking toward the sea. You wondered if he was listening to your thoughts and maybe faking or if he could have controlled that strange “power” of him.
You were expecting him to reply to your mentally question, but he didn’t. He stayed still, waving his legs and relaxing with the sound of the wave on the sand.

“Haven’t you ever felt sad, taking someone away from his family?” You asked suddenly and he looked at you. He seemed surprised from your question and you were glad he could have had a reaction like that. It was nice even if he faked, it was tiring being the only one so human like.
“I haven’t.” He admitted after some seconds. Actually, how could he have felt something like that if he was like a robot made to be a guide?
“It’s sad your life, Yoongi.” You breathed out. “How can you live a life without love or being loved? How can you live your day without a tip of happiness to bright your hours? Don’t you feel you miss something?”
“I do, I actually do. Maybe I am not that perfect creature that Him thought I was. Or maybe he already knew I was going to talk to a human about feelings … I can’t say I miss the feelings of love or happiness, I’ve never felt and I’ve never lived having them. I just feel I’m incomplete right now.” His eyes turned again to look at the sea, like he was looking for his answers there.
“That’s a feeling,” You begun and Yoongi looked at you waiting for you to continue what you wanted to say. “You’re feeling insecure, Yoongi. That something that is so comune in humans.” He frowned, finally genuinely confused. “You’re making researches on us. Searching for what are called feelings, but they are already inside of you.” You touched his chest, feeling again that pleasing sensation. “They’re right here, you have just to take them out.” He touched his chest, over your hand and you shivered. The feeling you’ve felt touching his chest was nothing compared to what you’ve felt touching his hands.
“Can you help me?” He asked and you looked at him softening your eyes, he looked like a lost child. “Can you help me to know where my feelings are? Can you teach what you call love? What you call happiness … I want to know what suffering means as well. Just teach me what you live for, ______.” 
You bit your lip, how could have you helped him to love or to be happy if you were the one to feel down.
“I will help you.” He said suddenly. “I’ll help you healing from your loss, I promise. An angel can’t brake his promise, so please. If you’re really sure there is something inside of my chest, help me to take it out.” You looked at the sea, curling your fingers on his cloth.
“Will you, ____?”


“I will.”