Periwinkle 

A fluffy tail curls around Mark's right wrist, the dark fur soft again his skin and Mark sighs, halting his typing. The paragraph and a half he has managed to write in the last three hours stares back aot him mockingly from his computer screen, and Mark glares with all the energy he can muster. He feels a tug on his wrist and turns to look at Jaebum who is sitting cross-legged on the couch next to him, wrapped in a blanket as he nurses a cup of hot chocolate. For someone pretty tall he looks quite tiny wrapped up in the baby blue fleece, hair disheveled adorably and falling on his eyes as he watches whatever is playing on the screen. Mark can tell he is not really paying attention to what's on the screen though, feigning innocent as he fishes out a half melted marshmallow and pops it in his mouth. A bit smears at the corner of his bottom lip and Mark definitely doesn't stare. The grip of his tail on Mark's wrist tightens slightly and he sighs again.

"Jaebum," Mark calls.

"Hm?" Jaebum replies, nonchalant. He sips his drink idly, ear twitching as someone starts yelling on the screen. What the heck is he watching anyway, Mark thinks, and looks up to find it's Eternal Sunshine.

As expected from the closet romantic.

"Jaebum, I'm serious," Mark says again, slightly exasperated at his own weakness. Because now the tip of Jaebum's black tail is pressed firmly against Mark's palm, moving back and forth against his fingers and Mark can practically feel his resolve to finish this goddamn ethics essay crumble into dust. All he wants to do is grab Jaebum and that blanket and go straight to dreamland, but he can't, he just can't because this thing is worth 30% of his entire ing grade. Granted, it's his own fault for putting it off for so long and adding it to his pile of never-ending work, but there is no point thinking about that now, not when the deadline is just a day and a half away. He runs a thumb over the silky fur, eyeing his computer screen warily. "I really gotta finish this."

The tail stops moving, and Mark feels a pang in his heart when he catches Jaebum's brows furrowing even as he continues staring at the TV. If this was anyone else they would have never noticed the slight droop of Jaebum's furry ears, but Mark's known Jaebum for a solid two years now, has become attuned to the tiniest changes in his catboy's demeanor since he first got him as a present for his 20th birthday. He looks upset and it makes Mark's heart clench painfully in his chest.

"Hey—" Mark starts,feeling empty as the tail unravels from his wrist and is tucked back under the edge of the blanket. He reaches to caress his hair, but his hand falls when Jaebum moves away. "Jaebumie—"

"You should have thought about that a week ago, no?" he interrupts Mark bitterly, voice tight and cutting like glass.

Mark in a breath, biting the corner of his lip and feeling completely stumped. It's been rough lately. Really rough. And Mark can't blame Jaebum either, not when Jaebum's getting upset is not unfounded, not with the way things have been the past few weeks. The guilt has been eating at Mark's insides ever since finals started approaching. It's actually surprising Jaebum hadn't blown up already considering how neglectful Mark has been, especially after that two-days-one-night-at-the-library stint Mark had pulled last week. He had expected a furious catboy once he got home, but had found a very calm and collected Jaebum making dinner instead.

The fact that Jaebum has been so unobtrusive and understanding the entire time just makes it worse though. He knows Mark far too well not to give him space when he gets like this, all work-school-work and forgotten meals. Hell, he'd even allowed Mark to turn their apartment into a complete mess, not fussing at the papers and stacks of books littered everywhere despite how uncomfortable disorder made him. Throughout the years Jaebum has found his own rhythm when it came to the dreaded exam season. On occasions he leaves Mark completely alone, going to explore the city at night with his tail and ears hidden under a jacket and snapback once Mark's back from a shift at work and ready to hit the books. But more often than not he stays by Mark's side, curls up in a corner of the sofa with a good book in his hand or flitters about their apartment as Mark studies on the dining table.

One of Mark's favorite moments during exam season is how frequently he wakes up from a nap to the solid warmth of Jaebum's arms wrapped around him, his head tucked carefully under Jaebum's chin. He relishes the moments when he can enjoy the rise and fall of Jaebum's chest in tranquil silence, take in the gentle beat of his heart against his back after a particularly taxing day. It's Jaebum's presence that keeps Mark sane, that reassures Mark he'll make it through unscathed - and if he doesn't, that he can trust Jaebum to put him back together.

It's also the same reason Mark feels like an utter piece of right now. Because even those small moments of peace have become rare and far in-between. Mark's been so busy, just so busy trying to  get his life in order due to the impending graduation that he'd dropped everything else in pursuit of a stellar performance as a college senior. Including his catboy.

I'm such an , he thinks, watching the tight clench of Jaebum's jaw as he tries to keep his anger at bay. Jaebum's eyes are narrowed and he's not looking at Mark but Mark can still see, can feel how conflicted Jaebum feels for snapping at Mark even though he had every right to do it in the first place.

Mark might be Jaebum's owner, but their relationship didn't develop based on taking and taking and never giving back. And that's exactly what Mark has been doing and the realization feels like a knife being twisted into his gut. Jaebum is so independent and self-sufficient it's easy to slip up and forget he has his needs too. That Jaebum feels more vividly than he lets on and shoulders more burdens than are actually his own.

He deserves more than a negligent owner.

He deserves more than Mark.

The silence festers, growing heavy with the loud ticking of the clock. Mark can register the background noise of the forgotten movie as he tries to put his thoughts into words, frustrated his lack of eloquence is making the situation much worse.

It's Jaebum who sighs this time, leaning forward to put his mug on the table before finally turning to look at Mark. His face soften when he takes in the way Mark is worrying his lip, biting into the flesh so hard he's sure to draw blood soon enough. The worry on his face just makes Mark feel guiltier at the situation, especially as Jaebum searches his eyes precariously before his gaze drifts down to the Macbook in Mark's lap. His face tells little else but his black cat ears betray him, drooping down further as he moves to stand up from the couch, anger melting away completely.

Mark's heart sinks to his stomach. "Jaebum—"

"It's okay. Finish your work."

It's when Jaebum makes to walk away, blanket wrapped closer to his body, that Mark gets the courage to act, mind kick-starting at how small and dejected Jaebum looks. It scares Mark more than he is willing to admit, the thought that Jaebum's so tired of his bull that he isn't even willing to get angry at Mark - the same Jaebum who gets angry over dirty cups in the sink and socks left by their bed is willing to just walk away from it and pretend it didn't happen. So Mark all but dumps his laptop on the coffee table and grabs the edge of Jaebum's baby blue blanket, yanking it so hard the catboy comes tumbling down on him.

Jaebum's heavy and his elbow is digging painfully into Mark's side, but Mark just moves to hold him closer, freeing his arm and legs from under Jaebum's weight to wrap them around him, trapping him between his body and the blanket. Jaebum goes rigid in his hold, breath hitching against the exposed skin of Mark's neck and Mark's so sorry, he's so sorry but he doesn't know how to say it.

So he lets his heart beat shallowly against his chest and just holds Jaebum. Mark moves one hand into the soft mess of his black hair and presses his cheek to the top of his head and hopes Jaebum gets it. He intertwines their legs under the warmth of the blanket and wills Jaebum to understand. 

I'm sorry.

I ed up. 

Forgive me? 

And after what feels like hours but are actually mere minutes, Jaebum does. He grips the side of Mark's shirt and moves his legs fully onto the couch, presses his face tantalizingly into the crook of Mark's neck and melts into his arms. Mark welcomes the heavy warmth of his body, maneuvering them so he's got his back to the couch and Jaebum's not hanging awkwardly off the side.

A breathless laugh bubbles out from Mark when a furry black ear starts flickering against his chin, and he knows Jaebum's doing it on purpose when he a small stripe up the side of his neck, squirming to make himself comfortable and making sure there is no inch of space between them.

"You are squishing me," Mark complains halfheartedly, smiling into Jaebum's hair when the catboy wraps his tail around Mark's waist and presses his cheek into the older's chest. A low rumble reverberates from within Jaebum's body and something light and tender flutters in Mark's heart when he realizes Jaebum's purring.

"Whatever," Jaebum mumbles between them. "You're an idiot." Mark smiles, pulling him impossibly close and bending to kiss Jaebum's eyelids. 

Yeah, but I'm your idiot.

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I started writing this while listening to GOT7's It Hurts . It's such a beautiful song. The entire album is amazing, I'm so proud of them ;____;

I'm slowly working on filling up Paper Stars because there are many little drabbles I want to share. But I also wanted to ask you guys if there is something in particular you'd like to see? I've started writing my first chaptered story (I know! Hallelujah!~), but I want to keep exploring themes in this collection so do let me know if you've been waiting for something but have not yet gotten it^^.Challenges are the best way to improve!