Warning: Potentially triggering themes (Abuse, dubcon)

Kai opens Naver, needing something to alleviate a boredom that even dreamless sleep cannot cure. He’s greeted with an image of his face, apparently trending at #1, and shuts the app in horror. That shoot with Taemin was out of Kai’s control—though it’s likely the manager hyung, knowing Kai’s preferences, thought he was doing his charge a favor in agreeing when the Shinee star demanded Kai’s participation. Taemin’s arrogance blew Kai away when he’d first been informed that they’d be doing a shoot together; with his phone held precariously in a shaking hand it is now Taemin’s utter disregard for others that Kai finds amazing. Kai knew it was there, had always found the presence of Taemin’s sole focus on himself one haunting step behind everything the other idol did. Still, the fear that drives Kai is so consuming that he forgets sometimes what it’s like for those people who live without being afraid. Kai, at least, cannot imagine the freedom to think only of himself—or of himself at all.

He hides the device deep in his sock drawer, knowing it will do no good but hoping against logical hope that Chanyeol won’t succumb to his Naver addiction. All Kai asks the heavens for is today—for one day of Chanyeol not looking. He gets a few measly hours instead.

Kai knows the very instant Chanyeol sees the picture because the rapper, lazily lying across the room on his own bed, sits up in a smooth movement that’s also dangerously slow and says “Come here.”

Chanyeol’s voice is deep, deeper even than usual. His tone, chillingly tinged with a threat that only Kai can ever seem to hear, leaves no room for argument and is enough of a warning in itself. You will not like what happens next, it tells him. I take no pleasure in this either, it tells him too, despite Kai knowing that Chanyeol loves him best with his mouth gagged, his hands tied, and his tan skin bruising black under the rough caress of Chanyeol’s fingers.

I don’t believe you, Kai wants to say back to Chanyeol, back to that voice that prompts immediate response even when Kai wants nothing more than to stay cocooned in the safety of his bed covers. Kai doesn't remember the last time he talked back to Chanyeol and goes to the other as bidden.

You liar; you live for this! He wants to cry the words out when Chanyeol’s grip pulls hard at the hair on Kai’s nape and drags the younger’s face down into the mattress. Kai lets out a whimper of pain; Chanyeol’s hold tightens and Kai regrets the sound for what it does to the insatiable libido of the man panting noisily over him. Regrets not knowing this side of his band member when he’d fallen for the other so easily.

There’s an arm around Kai’s neck holding him upright against Chanyeol’s bare chest now, and Kai gives in to the feeling of being helplessly under another’s control. He doesn’t mind it—is usually even stimulated by the manhandling—but today there’s something off in the way Chanyeol carelessly flips him around like a rag doll and then begins to slam into him such that Kai’s back hits a hard and steady beat against the headboard of Chanyeol’s bed. They have a safe word for moments like this one; Kai considers using it but gets the impression that Chanyeol will ignore him if he tries.

Instead he tells himself that this is a punishment deserved; that even the nastiest of bruises heal with time; and that the fabric of whatever he’s meant to wear on the set of that shoot he has with Krystal Jung tomorrow will be enough to cover the mess of injury that Kai knows will be his back when Chanyeol’s through.