Ah, those eyes, those perfectly symmetric eyes kill me every time. How can he be so perfect? Those hints of dimples that appear every time he smiles that charming smile of his, one a little deeper than the other. So cute. That straightest of all straight noses. That smooth skin that somehow manages to be the perfect color in every kind of lighting. Sigh. So dreamy. Oh, no! He's looking right at me. Panic, panic, panic. He didn't notice I was checking him out, did he? Nah, why should he even notice somebody like me. Not a chance. I'm safe.

“Okay, not that I don't enjoy being called beautiful a thousand times a day, but this is getting ridiculous.” Hanbin snuck up behind Bobby who was staring intently out the window in an effort to prove that he hadn't just been staring at him. He wasn't fooling anyone, except perhaps himself..

“...and frankly, a little pathetic.” he added for effect. He didn't want to make him feel bad about being in love with him, but enough was enough. He was just telling it like it was. Bobby needed to hear it. Sometimes being a little mean was the only way to be kind.

Bobby turned around and froze, his jaw hitting the floor at record speed.

What was he talking about? Who was calling him beautiful? Had he caught me looking at him? How can he call me out like that? Like it wasn't the most mortifying thing in the world to be in love with the prettiest boy to walk the Earth, especially when you were born a garden gnome yourself. Those lips though, I wish they would keep on talking forever. The way they move is driving me crazy. So mesmerizing that it's hard to concentrate on what he's saying.

“Ah, seriously. Knock it off! Either get up the courage to ask me out, or get over it. This limbo you're in isn't doing either of us any good.” he spat at him before returning to his seat. The teacher would be here any minute and he was not going to survive another lesson with Bobby fawning all over him. The teacher's patience had been running thin these past couple of days, so if he was caught not paying attention today as well, he would get detention for sure. So he had no choice than to be tough on Bobby. It was weird. It wasn't like this was the first time he had learned that someone had a crush on him, but for some reason he couldn't block out his thoughts, he heard every single fleeting thought that went through that sturdy, lovesick head of his.

Ask him out? Did he just tell me to ask him out? Am I that obvious? Why bother when he is just going to turn me down? Does he just want to torture me? Ah, why do I get excited at the thought of him torturing me. He's right, I am pathetic.

Hanbin snorted. He was funny, he had to give him that. Hands down his favorite thoughts to have invade his brain uninvited. Not everyone had such cute and innocent thoughts, most people had darkness hiding deep inside their skulls, hidden from everyone's view but his. Also, Bobby usually said exactly what was on his mind, with one obvious exception. It was one of the things he liked most about him. Most people held so much back, constantly editing their thoughts. Bobby wasn't like that. What you saw was what you got, and what you saw was pretty cute. Glancing sideways, he yet again caught Bobby looking at him.

Oh ! Ah, why is my luck so crappy? It's like he has a sixth sense about when I'm looking at him. It's almost as if he can read my thoughts. Oh, what a terrible thought! That would seriously be the end of the world if he would find out what I've been thinking about him. I would never be able to face him again, I would have to quit school altogether. No way I could survive him finding out my fantasies about him, especially not the one with the chocolate, whipped cream and cherry on top. It would be bad enough if he found out that I've imagined every possible scenery of how our first kiss could go down, my favorite of course being the bleachers' one.

Normally Hanbin used all his mental power to quiet down the endless stream of thoughts that attacked his brain on any given day, but this was the first time he was stretching his mind's ears as far as they would possibly go so he wouldn't miss a word of Bobby's thoughts. Chocolate and whipped cream fantasy, he was burning in his skin to find out more. He cursed his limited abilities, hearing only the verbal thoughts, wishing his mind was like a TV set instead of a radio, wanting to get front seats to an HD screening of Bobby's secret fantasies about him.

He chewed on his lower lip as he tried to figure out how the cherry figured into it all. Cherry on top, on top of what? Apparently he had underestimated Bobby, maybe he wasn't as innocent as he appeared. The bleachers' kiss was much easier to figure out, that he could visualize without any outside help, a smile sneaking onto his lips as his imagination drew him a picture.

“Kim Hanbin!!” an angry voice echoed through the room. Crap. He hadn't even noticed the teacher entering the room. This was bad.

“Don't tell me you can't even concentrate for the first five minutes of class! Am I boring you that much?!” she sounded really frustrated, bordering on angry.

“I was paying attention, I swear.” he smiled cautiously as he lied through his teeth.

“Oh, really? Well, then?” she said, skepticism coloring her voice, but she was giving him the benefit of the doubt, clearly waiting for him to say something. But what? He tried to think logically, trying to guess what it could be. If he guessed wrong, it was going to be worse than not guessing at all. This was a disaster.

Page 47, paragraph 2. Come on, page 47, paragraph 2. Just start reading, you can do it. Please let him figure it out. Should I start reading, pretending I'm confused, pretending that I thought she was asking me. It's going to be all kinds of embarrassing, but I can take it. I can take it.

Turning the pages at the speed of lightning, he found the right place just as Bobby inhaled, getting ready to take a bullet for him. What a sweetheart. He started reading, loud and clear, surprising everyone in the class and leaving the teacher speechless.

Phew!

He looked over at Bobby, his guardian angel, who of course was looking right at him. He wasn't the most subtle person he had ever met. Every chance he got, he stole glances at him, thinking he was being super subtle and stealthy, when the exact opposite rang more true. Before he had a chance to look not-so-nonchalantly away, pretending not to have been looking at him, but at something in his vicinity, he sent him a quick wink full of attitude-gratitude.

Oh my gad, oh my gad, oh my gad! He winked at me, he really winked at me! Did that really just happen!? Why? How? Aaaah, he is so dreamy. That wink is going to haunt me for weeks, so full of cheeky confidence. Those eyes. Those amazingly beautiful eyes. He has me in the palm of his hand and he so knows it. Was he serious when he told me to ask him out? Should I just go for it? No regrets. The worst thing that could happen is that he says no and the world ends and there will be no reason to continue living. That's not so bad. I can totally do this!

Hanbin felt as his stomach turned inside out. He never expected him to actually listen to him. After being bombarded by Bobby's inner thoughts constantly for an insanely long time now, he thought he had him all figured out. He was sure he would never be able to muster up the courage to actually ask him out. Not for real. He probably wouldn't be able to go through with it anyway. After all, a thought was just a thought, it was powerless unless you had the balls to follow it through.

Though he managed to convince himself it would never happen, he spent the rest of the day uneasy. Bobby kept thinking up ways to ask him out, each idea more awkwardly cute than the previous one. He found himself wishing he would actually get over himself and just do it, but at the same time he wished he wouldn't. An innocent crush was okay, it brightened up the day and boosted his self-confidence. Nothing wrong with that. It was the moment it turned real that was the problem.

He knew from experience, excruciatingly horrifying experience, that there was no way they could ever work. No matter how much they might want it to, it was the cold hard truth. Dating was impossible when your mind was an avid reader of other minds. There were just some things that could not be unheard, no matter how fleeting the thought had been and how little meaning was behind it. The damage was done. He had tried time and time again not to listen, to ignore the constant stream of chatter, but there was always something that seeped through. There was no future for them. It was doomed to end in tears and misery. It was better to not start anything in the first place. Save them both the heartache.

I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I can do this. I totally can. Here we go.

He heard him coming a mile away, psyching himself up. He didn't believe for a second that he would actually be able to go through with it, still he tensed up, every cell in his body on alert. Just in case. As Bobby drew closer, he could hear his courage fade. Almost there. Hanbin held his breath as Bobby quietly walked past him. He tried to ignore the mental war that was raging in Bobby's brain, for it was extremely loud and the swear words attacked him left and right, some of them he had never even heard before.

He had known all along he was never going to go through with it, but even so, he could feel his heart sinking just a little bit as he watched him walking away. It was for the best, he knew that all too well. Still, his heart had clearly been hoping for a different outcome, that irrational bastard. It was a lonely feeling, knowing that he could never ever have a long-term relationship with anyone. His condition made it impossible for him to spend any real time with the ones he loved, for the more he loved someone, the greater the hurt they would unknowingly leave behind. His heart could only sustain so and so many fatal wounds. They said the pen was mightier than the sword, but nothing could do more damage than fleeting thoughts.

“Hehem..”.

Totally lost in his own thoughts, he looked up, surprised he hadn't heard whomever it was coming. As he realized he was looking straight into Bobby's eyes, a flock of butterflies went crazy in his gut, fluttering around like there was no tomorrow. There was no escaping that awkward grin of his, it was too cute for him to be able to stay indifferent. He could feel his armor start to melt away, desperately trying to scoop it up from the floor and stick it back together.

“Meet me behind the bleachers after school.” Bobby said decisively, like he wasn't going to take no for an answer, but the quiver in his voice gave him away. That, and the debate that was going on in his brain. He was surprisingly focused though, determined to get what he wanted. And what he wanted was him. Before he could respond, he walked coolly away, leaving him no choice but to show up.

Calm down. Maybe he won't even come. Oh, no, he has to come. He's a nice guy, he'll show up, if not just to say that he wasn't going to show up. Wait for it, wait for it, he won't know what hit him. He should be here by now though, what's keeping him? He doesn't realize that he's late for the beginning of the rest of his life. The kiss that is going to change both of our destinies is not a patient one. My lips are growing restless, where are you?

Hanbin refrained from snorting as not to give up his location. He could hear Bobby think, but he couldn't see him anywhere. He tried to make himself invisible, his light steps almost inaudible. He wanted to surprise him, but instead he was the one who was taken aback. With no warning, a hand shot out as if from nowhere, grabbing him and slamming him up against the side panel. It was Bobby. But it was not the Bobby he knew from class. Instead of the kind, cute and slightly insecure light that normally inhabited his eyes, a smoldering hot beam of confidence had taken up residence in them. Hanbin was powerless in its presence. It rendered him helpless, he was clay in Bobby's hands and he was free to mold him however he saw fit. It was a scary feeling, but at the same time liberating. His fate was now out of his own hands, it was no longer his decision to make.

Before he could realize what was happening, Bobby's lips had taken him hostage. They were so soft, so tender, yet so manly. Not at all boyish, like he had expected, but grown up, take charge manly. He was literally swept off his feet as Bobby put his arms around him and lifted him up as he deepened the kiss, their tongues engaged in a fierce tango, Bobby's taking the lead, transporting them to another world. It was an amazing feeling. He could hardly hear what he himself was thinking, let alone Bobby. For the first time in his life, his head was quiet. It was such a strange yet amazing feeling. For once his body was in charge and not his overbearing brain that had hidden its off button so carefully that there was no way of finding it. But apparently Bobby knew where it was.

He closed his eyes and put his arms around Bobby, one hand on his muscular back, one hand on the back of his head. Tightening his hold, he pushed himself harder up against Bobby, getting an instant response. Bobby squeezed him even harder so it was getting hard to breathe, but he didn't care, breathing wasn't important, this feeling of closeness, as if their bodies were part of a whole, was far more precious.

Hanbin had lost all sense of time, having no clue how long they had been lost in their own little world. But when they finally came up for air, it was already dark. Bobby released him slowly from his death grip, grinning awkwardly as he wiped his mouth. As the air filled up the growing divide between them, an unexplainable feeling of loneliness filled the space Bobby had occupied only moments before and the whispers started filling every crevice and every corner of his head again. He sighed. He started missing Bobby even though he was right there in front of him, looking straight into his eyes.

Wow, you are so beautiful. How can you be so beautiful?

“You're so beautiful.” Bobby told him in the same earnest tone as in his thoughts while beaming at him. He was so wonderfully straightforward, always saying exactly what was on his mind. It made him think that maybe, just maybe, this could work between them. He so longed for it to work.

“You're not so bad yourself.” he smirked, running his fingers along Bobby's defined jawline, genuinely taken aback by his beauty. He had always thought he was cute, his dorky eyesmile tickling his gut from the very first moment he saw him, but he hadn't noticed how grown up and handsome he had become. He was stunning.

“You don't have to say that.” Bobby's face turned red, his eyes furtively looking for something imaginary on the ground as his thoughts got all tangled up, not knowing whether to dare take it as a compliment or write it off as empty words out of kindness. He had no idea how gorgeous he was. Hanbin remained silent for a while, exploring Bobby's face with great interest, both with his eyes as well as his fingers.

“You're mine now. You know that, right?” he finally said in a soft but determined voice, his heart fearlessly abandoning his principals, ignoring the avalanche of warnings his brain had issued.

“I know...” Bobby whispered, not daring to look at him.

With one finger, he nudged Bobby's chin up so that their eyes met. They both smiled, shyness coloring the air between them before their lips got rid of the awkwardness, locking together like two pieces of a puzzle, fitting perfectly together, completing the puzzle with a very satisfying feeling of accomplishment. Everything was as it should be. Now the world made sense.